We broke up because...

JLopez832

she left me for tiger woods

jorodri7

She never gave golf a chance

ablazeoflife

He never let go of he golf club, nor the turkey.

jorodri7

Playing with my club meant getting better for her and she was jealous

ablazeoflife

He was jealous I was better at licking ice cream than he was

Melissa90xo

She found my granny panties

JLopez832

she stole my granny panties

jorodri7

She never wanted to use her ice cream licking skills on my ice cream sandwich:(

JLopez832

he licked my like an ice cream sandwich

ablazeoflife

He found your ice cream sandwiched between granny panties..!

jorodri7

He licked me like a lollipop. And I prefer to be licked like a Popsicle on a hot 4th of July

JLopez832

jorodri7 wrote: »

He licked me like a lollipop. And I prefer to be licked like a Popsicle on a hot 4th of July

she perfume smelled like big foots dick

ablazeoflife

He was too picky about things to lick

jorodri7

She didn't like my texas tornado signature move when it came to licking

deviboy1592

Ewwww

JLopez832

he said ew lol

ablazeoflife

LOL! He couldn't eat his broccoli

JLopez832

all she are was broccoli

Dared2Evolve

He was never satisfied with his selfies.

JLopez832

she was better at selfies than i was

sweetdixie92

Because his name was Jennifer Lopez...

JLopez832

she was a hater of the big booty

ablazeoflife

She never had enough Zebra-fair

jorodri7

He backed that thang up

Sinistrous

Needed a voice assisted "toy" in order to complete our love sessions.

deviboy1592

Sinistrous wrote: »

Needed a voice assisted "toy" in order to complete our love sessions.

I'm sorry but I could never hate a bunny who lifts

JD2006

Sin - was offended when I offered to wax her 'stache

deviboy1592

I couldn't fit between the bars

SangreViento

Weeellll, I could! So I left him for JD!

kimberlyrenee2008

I caught you with my mom