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We broke up because...
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She always came home exhausted after spending time with her Ex0
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She kept talking about her ex0
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She never wanted to talk0
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Love left us0
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She left after our lil kitty named Love ran away ☹️0
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She had an imaginary kitty0
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He referred to me as his imaginary friend. 😒0
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said I was too much of a narcissist0
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he took too many pictures of himself for the internet.0
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He never let me call him Matt. I had to call him mattig89ch ensuring I used lower case pronunciation.1
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Wanted me to legally change my name to Mouse.0
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She wouldnt wear the straight jacket I bought her0
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I couldn't get him untied from the bedpost, so I just left him there until he died.
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There was something funky smelling in her bedroom.0
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She didn't like the cologne I put on Fabio.0
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Sometimes I felt she preferred Fabio to me. 😢0
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She hated calling me"Fab"
Something about having bad memories about Fabio and Paper Doll.0 -
She was too competitive. Hence her nickname FAB. She had to have the most fabulous hair, wear the most fabulous clothes, and apparently I wasn't fabulous enough for her arm candy.0
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Said fabulous too much. You fell? Fabulous. Broke your leg? Fabulous. That car’s gonna run you over? Fabulous.0
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Used Starbucks lingo everywhere we went. Gas station? Shes have a venti fillup. Liquor store? Grandi size fireball. Taco Bell? One venti chalupa please, extra cheese, no whip1
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Spent all his time in McDonald’s drive thru.0
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Purposefully said "Mc" in front of everything, just to annoy me. "Hey. lets watch McTV tonight. Law and McOrder is on. Can you turn off the Mclamp? Grrrrrr0
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Was always borrowing my clothes.0
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Looked better in purple corduroy than I did0
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Wanted me to dress in rubber from head to toe with just a hole cut out over the mouth to breathe.0
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Always whining about needing air0
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Always wanted me to braid his hair for him.0
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She lost her keys that caused a hairy situation.0
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She thought I was too hairy and wanted me to get waxed...ouch! 😬0
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She said she'd rather someone hairier0
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