We broke up because...

Spnneil06

Would come home with her *kitten* covered in red handprints!

jorodri7

Never wanted to lick the paint off

MommysLittleMeatball

Ate paint chips.

Spnneil06

grew up under power lines.

MommysLittleMeatball

Stood too close to the microwave.

princesssadie93

Couldn't handle my girth.

jorodri7

Wash her boobs with Toilet water

Spnneil06

She dumped me for Jackie!

twinkleupgraded

Accused me of cheating with Jackie

jorodri7

Her body was too bootylicious

4ever420

Was always borrowing my stuff without asking, then losing and/or damaging it

johnnylakis

Because she thought I was one of her five kids!

twinkleupgraded

Got mad because he would come home to me just wearing his shorts

4ever420

Would invite random men over and just be wearing boxer shorts

princesssadie93

Found my pet zombies

siport

used her pet zombies to hunt down my enemies and she didnt like that i had more fun with them than with her

princesssadie93

Pffft. Nobody can handle my zombies. Because...ninja

Spnneil06

She never made sense, always rambling about zombies and ninja's. I had her committed.

princesssadie93

Zombies are ninjas.

MommysLittleMeatball

The only thing we could agree on was "zombies are ninjas."

Spnneil06

Her and her ex still had a connection.

princesssadie93

Put a goldfish in my steering wheel.

siport

Zombie Jedi Ninja?! that is all

princesssadie93

Zombie jedi ninja thor

deviboy1592

Zombie sith ninja

deviboy1592

Jedi's are not selfish

siport

Zombie Hulk!!!!!!!!

princesssadie93

True. Zombie vader

dpwellman

Lost her job at Radio Shack

Spnneil06

was always peeking at me like this when I rolled over in bed. Come on be less obvious!