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We broke up because...
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Her pants were always wet, it was embarassing.0
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she didnt like it when i tried to bite her lower lip0
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He lost the keys to my handcuffs0
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I can't seem to remember...0
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Another one with dementia0
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went to participate in some twerking competition while leaving me alone on my birthday0
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Wasn't happy for me when I won that twerking competition0
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She got tired of my vibrating tongue0
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He was irritated--that I was not maternal enough and that I thought Copulator was the final sequel to all the Terminator movies.0
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Didn't appreciate that I wouldn't bow down at her presence when entering a room0
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She always hogged the mirror when we getting ready to go out!0
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she didn't trim her shrubbery0
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I shaved myself clean, then realized he meant our outside bushes! Whoops!0
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it was still a little rough on the tongue0
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He had a low tolerance for pain0
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He considered water torture fun0
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she complained about the squirt guns but tied me up and dropped candlewax on me0
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It was a hanukkah accident, dude. You overreacted!0
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One day he said he needed to run to the store, then never came back.0
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I was in a terrible accident and got amnesia0
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