We broke up because...

Spnneil06

he hogged the mirror.

4ever420

Always took forever to get ready and hogged the bathroom

Spnneil06

Caught me in the bathroom with assthetik, swear I just dropped the soap!

Stoshew71

She took like 4ever

4ever420

I was never enough for her

keith0373

I didn't like all of the weed

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didn't buy the story of my needing to use "Medical" Marijuana six times a day!

MaxPower0102

Only wanted to smoke 6 times day

ckmnacln

Told the cops it was my weed

Stoshew71

I was just an idiot. Why the hell did I let her go?

Muldactus

My horse didn't like her.

Jesssamesssa

He was too in love with his horse.

MaxPower0102

Was mad I kept saying "Wilburrrrrrrrr" at our sexy-times

FabulousFantasticFifty

She would take a bikini selfie everywhere we went!

1Hunie

Her hair was too perfect!

ItsMeGee3

Our shoe shopping sprees were too much!

Stoshew71

Spent all my hard earned money on shoes.

ckmnacln

He insisted on running everywhere we went and it got tiring

1Hunie

She made me insecure about my love handles

Muldactus

She decided I wasn't good looking enough.

keith0373

She lost so much weight running that she turned into a super milf. She left me for a guy on a fitness site.

carriekwi

I am have a phobic of stars

carriekwi

Oops, typo. Bad Android!

Stoshew71

She kept blaming all her mistakes on auto-correct

FabulousFantasticFifty

He always corrected everything I did!

Spnneil06

I never did anything right, she even rewrote my wedding vows AFTER I had said them in front of our families.

Stoshew71

Was enaged to another woman.

lborsato1

he was a "biter"

FabulousFantasticFifty

We couldn't decide on who was gonna have the better 50th Birthday Party!!!

LouLouStBijou

she was out of my league!