We broke up because...

Rochelle951

She never wanted to go out

charlesbuckler

She only had one eye

slimgirljo15

Never took his hat off ....

brendo204

Stuck her finger in my butt hole

slimgirljo15

You said you wanted me to

brendo204

Didn't realise u had fingers the size of fence posts

slimgirljo15

But I cut my nails just for you

brendo204

But didn't take ya rings off!

slimgirljo15

I thought youd like the ridges...

Ria_StayingFit

She promised me a turtle but bought me a hamster instead.

Spnneil06

I laughed at her because she named her hamster Leonardo!

4ever420

Wouldn't let me go out with my friends

Ria_StayingFit

She excluded me from all her fun times. I was basically her house keeper and cook.

4ever420

She sucked at cleaning and cooking

Spnneil06

She said I was smothering her, I was just wanting her to smell my pillow!

4ever420

Took out a life insurance policy out on me and is trying to kill me

jrline

thinks everyone is trying to kill her

Spnneil06

We didn't break up he's in my freeez...I mean erm he's right here somewhere!

Go_Mizzou99

It's Monday - movin' on day

Noelv1976

Burped the entire alphabet; during a funeral!

IllBeBack1Day

Noelv1976 wrote: »

Burped the entire alphabet; during a funeral!

Lmao

IllBeBack1Day

She.Made.Me.Watch.A.Romantic.Movie!!!the Horror!!!!!!!

Ria_StayingFit

He wouldn't watch the Fault in our Stars with me.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He always seemed to keep his face concealed and I never knew what he really looked like!

Noelv1976

Had four multiple personalities, and they had to have their ab selfies

FabulousFantasticFifty

I finally found out why he was always calling me Sybil!

Noelv1976

Didn't like I kept calling her after my faithful dog.

Spnneil06

He loved his dog more than me.

Travis_2

She wanted to send man's best friend to the pound

FabulousFantasticFifty

He and his "Best friend" were conspiring against me!