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We broke up because...
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She never wanted to go out0
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She only had one eye0
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Never took his hat off ....
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Stuck her finger in my butt hole0
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You said you wanted me to0
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Didn't realise u had fingers the size of fence posts0
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But I cut my nails just for you0
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But didn't take ya rings off!0
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I thought youd like the ridges...
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She promised me a turtle but bought me a hamster instead.0
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I laughed at her because she named her hamster Leonardo!0
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Wouldn't let me go out with my friends0
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She excluded me from all her fun times. I was basically her house keeper and cook.0
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She sucked at cleaning and cooking0
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She said I was smothering her, I was just wanting her to smell my pillow!0
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Took out a life insurance policy out on me and is trying to kill me
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thinks everyone is trying to kill her0
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We didn't break up he's in my freeez...I mean erm he's right here somewhere!0
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It's Monday - movin' on day0
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Burped the entire alphabet; during a funeral!0
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She.Made.Me.Watch.A.Romantic.Movie!!!the Horror!!!!!!!0
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He wouldn't watch the Fault in our Stars with me.0
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He always seemed to keep his face concealed and I never knew what he really looked like!0
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Had four multiple personalities, and they had to have their ab selfies0
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I finally found out why he was always calling me Sybil!0
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Didn't like I kept calling her after my faithful dog.0
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He loved his dog more than me.0
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She wanted to send man's best friend to the pound0
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He and his "Best friend" were conspiring against me!0
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