We broke up because...

AkCyclist

She threw sand in my eyes, twice

JessicaJVRadcliffe

She liked to party, I liked to stay home

mizzzc

she looked better in bikinis then me

AkCyclist

She lived in a motorhome

mizzzc

I had to lie and say I lived in a motor home so that he wouldnt want to come see my place - which was always filled with wizards

AkCyclist

She collected harry potter figurines.

mizzzc

He couldn't understand why I would read every harry potter book 7 times

pipsqueak1990

I could never handle her wand

Unknown

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pipsqueak1990

I couldnt find his wand

mrsmartinez99

he always wanted me to look closer

pipsqueak1990

She didnt have very good eye sight

Unknown

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mizzzc

I kept asking who lumbergh was and all he'd say was "you know!!!!"

AkCyclist

He slept with lumbergh

Unknown

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mrsmartinez99

He quoted lines from SpongeBob cartoons

Unknown

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AkCyclist

He always though, damn it feels good to be a gangsta

assthetikk

caught me watching Prison Sloots Volume 3 in her 3rd trimester

AkCyclist

I never knew we were dating

mrsmartinez99

he caught me hiding in the bushes

sw33tp3a11

She didn't believe me when I told her I saw a unicorn in the kitchen

Yogi_warrior

she was in to unicorns

Sweetsluv

He didn't believe in fairytales

MathDonkey

She was too critical of my belief system

RunTimer

Swore reggae-country music was a thing

ovinas1

Wanted to be in Quentin Tarantino movies.

Sweetsluv

He scared me... Really

ovinas1

Was tired of dealing with little girls.