We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She thought that me calling her babyCakes was being verbally abusive!

Spnneil06

I thought she used real babies in her cakes, I was horrified.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She thought I was a horrible cook!

Spnneil06

She didn't know to skin the rabbit, and it was like a fur soup

jrline

she made fun of all my cooking

Spnneil06

he burnt toast

FabulousFantasticFifty

She shoulda hired a cook!

kjm3579

She wanted to hire all the help and sit on the couch eating bon-bons all day long

FabulousFantasticFifty

Wouldn't treat me like the queen I am!

kjm3579

She didn't remember that I was the King and should be treated appropriately.

professionalHobbyist

She didn't appreciate the plush matching leather collar and cuffs!

Fvaisey

His leather collar and cuffs were made from human skin!

slimgirljo15

Didn't like the bites and scratches...thought i was too rough

NinjaoftheBeastAjah

She thought I was s stalker because we always ended up on the same friend lists.

Spnneil06

She was as stalker, caught her peeping in my window!

FabulousFantasticFifty

She had a Stalker who was threatening me!

Ria_StayingFit

She didn't like the way massaged

buffer221

wanted to massage me by walking over with heels

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was the only man in history that didnt want a woman in the boudoir with her heels!

buffer221

she didn't like me keeping my socks on

Ria_StayingFit

He didn't like me keeping big my thigh highs on

FabulousFantasticFifty

Her thigh highs were made of wool and too itchy!

buffer221

didn't like my wooly underwear

FabulousFantasticFifty

I felt like I was sleeping with a Wooly Mammoth

SwitzEngine

She never closed the milk

SojournerThirteen

Would close the milk so tightly I had to cut the lids off

BaconBae

My milkshake didn't bring him to the yard

SojournerThirteen

Her milkshake was earwax flavor

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was so particular!

SojournerThirteen

She was apathetic