How to be ok with it all?

acahane

Hi,

I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....

I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.

Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.

I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.

So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?

cityruss

<personal>
Realise that as an adult, you can, and have to make adult decisions.

Be in control, you put the food in your mouth, you can choose to eat one cake, not a whole box.

Accept that there are no 'bad' foods, and anything can fit in to calorie and macronutrient goals. Crave chocolate, eat chocolate. Crave donuts, eat donuts. Crave cucumber, eat cucumber. It's all energy. If it fits, you can eat it.

Understand that deprivation of something you like, leads to unhappiness, which leads to failure.
</personal>

Sued0nim

I told myself

"Tough, you're not a child. Get over yourself. If you want to continue living like that - stay fat.
Otherwise do something about it."

and then I heard my mother in my head saying "I want doesn't get"

Beanogirl

I think I will have to log every day of my life even when I get to my goal. I can live with it, as to me it is better than the alternative, which would probably be putting all the weight back on.

TimothyFish

Like the previous poster said, grow up. Most of us are overweight because life is too easy. I'm not complaining about having an easy life, but I just have to realize that that means I need to eat less than I would like. I take comfort in knowing that in a few months I can raise my calorie goal by several hundred calories, and I don't treat any food as being something I can never eat. Moderation is the key.

WVmom24

I'm the type of person where if I'm not constantly paying attention to what I eat, I overeat and gain. And I have skinny mini friends that eat nothing but tons of fast food and other crap and never gain a pound. It totally IS frustrating and unfair. But it is the way it is. Accepting reality means accepting that most things are simply unfair. We can either choose to adapt in order to maintain control over our weight, or choose to live as we please and allow our weight to escalate more and more. Personally I've chosen to adapt. I'd rather be healthy and lose this godawful extra weight, while having to pay close attention to what and how much I eat, than wake up one day with diabetes, COPD, 100-200-300lbs overweight, and who knows what other ailments. Not to mention the emotional and mental strain that extra weight burdens us with. So yes, I understand that you resent having to do this. But you know it's worth it. You can do it!

melaniecheeks

Can you find a way to enjoy it? Feel a sense of satisfaction when you've completed a day's logging? Give yourself a high-five when you go to the gym (better style, find an activity that you like doing)

Katleskin

I realised I wanted to be lighter, fit and healthy more than I wanted to keep making excuses. Basically I grew up and took responsibility for myself and my body. I can have *some* chocolate/cake/pizza, I don't have to have it *ALL*. I learned to love that buzz after exercise. And I got my 'high' from knowing that I'm doing myself a world of good.

Also the 'If not now, when?' phrase resonated with me. If I didn't reign myself in and learn some good habits right now, it would be a lot harder down the line, by which time the damage my be too great to reverse. Also, I quite enjoy logging (both calories eaten and burned), I treat it like a little game - always trying to be a bit better and beat my PBs. When I don't do as well as I might have liked, I pick myself up and try again/harder. Coming at it from a positive place (dropping the anger and the frustration and embracing the challenge to become a better version of me) helped a LOT!

I dunno - you have to find what works for you but the 'it's not fair' attitude won't get you very far at all. Life isn't fair (which isn't fair!) but that's the way it is, make the best of it.

Chenoachem

Our bodies are built to crave what we need. However, we are no longer required to hunt and gather food, and be constantly active. Our bodies have not caught up with the modern way of living with cars, grocery stores and delivery fast food. You can train your body to crave/react to food in a new way and logging helps with that. Sugar cravings are usually a sign of overeating, for example, as our body can use sugar to aid in digestion. Also various other food cravings are due to deficiencies in our diet and our brains have associated that craving with a high calorie food. However, there are many websites and books out there that can aid in defining what the craving means and what you can do about it using fresh foods.

If you have anger about logging you might struggle with maintaining this way of life. I would suggest to relax and enjoy the ride.

Good Luck.

47Jacqueline

melaniecheeks wrote: »

Can you find a way to enjoy it? Feel a sense of satisfaction when you've completed a day's logging? Give yourself a high-five when you go to the gym (better style, find an activity that you like doing)

Learn to eat to live instead of living to eat. I can usually predict when someone is going gain their weight back. They reach goal and their focus remains on food - when, where, what, how much, why, how. People who develop new interests find that food gets put into perspective if their lives are full.

NasMax

acahane wrote: »

Hi,

I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....

I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.

Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.

I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.

So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?

so given all that, what would you say your biggest problem is when it comes to losing weight/getting lean?? (In just once sentence)

Sued0nim

NasMax wrote: »

acahane wrote: »

Hi,

I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....

I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.

Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.

I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.

So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?

so given all that, what would you say your biggest problem is when it comes to losing weight/getting lean?? (In just once sentence)

Let me try

Is it "I don't wanna"

mamadon

Once I realized that losing weight was just counting calories and being at the correct deficit, it was actually kind of a relief to me. I am a "list maker" kind of person, I enjoy them and completing my diary for the day is just another list. One I will probably have to make for the rest of my life. Its better than being fat. Also, you dont have to live without any of your favorite foods! Just smaller amounts.

Spocky

Hi! You can add me as friend if you would like it, sorry I don't log my food.

I am pissed off at pizza because I love the taste but It never makes me full. If I eat pizza, I'll become hungry very soon after that so that is why I don't eat it anymore. I had a theory about junk food in which you can eat one junk food on one day of the week like Monday but the more rarely I ate junk food the less I missed it. I am angry at junk food because one meal of junk food can counteract a whole week of or days of perfect, strict diet.
I think you have to create a hard rule-set about your diet so when you see or meet face to face with junk food you know that you can eat it or not. The more popular theory is you can eat it in moderation because if you never could eat it it would create more, uncontrollable cravings. Most of junk food is designed to make you want to eat more so my opinion is: eat them never or your favourite junk product once a week.

JadeRabbit08

Once I got into a routine the logging food turned into not such a big deal. The rewards of weight loss and improved energy levels really helps.

For me I have to eat fairly restrictively not because there is anything wrong with eating junk food within reason but because I have health issues that manifest within 15 minutes to 2 hours of eating a whole list of foods. (including quite a few healthy foods) So this is for life, no ice cream, lactose, chocolate, (raw cacao in small amounts ok) high sugar, (high fructose in particular so fruit in moderation and definitely not fruit juices) most grains, (I am always falling behind in my carbs) as far as I know all artificial sugars too and a number of additives. Anything with caffeine is out too and all sodas.

So really unless you have a health problem like that enjoy your food just keep it under your daily calorie allowance.

Taking on a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean all the joy gets sucked out of your life. Actually since taking control of my fitness and being accountable for the food I eat, happiness in my life has increased. I still really enjoy food and I do eat big meals, and I am losing weight.

Make sure you start introducing things in your life apart from food that soothes you when you are anxious, rewards you when you need a lift and gives you some relief when you are sad or angry.

myfatass78

I focus on eating healthy rather than the weight loss part otherwise I would lose my mind quickly.

999tigger

Im very logical as well and analytical. You seem to be halfway there in understanding how some of this works. Thats good.

You now need to take the next step of putting it into action and getting on with it.
Thats just logic for me:
Understand, plan and then decide if you want to do ti by taking responsibility for everything that comes with dieting as something that comes with the territory. The benefits are the results.

mymodernbabylon

I see this as a tool to learn what my mind and body forgot - how to eat the right amount of food to maintain my weight (or at this moment lose a bit). I'm getting better at figuring it out and I know that in another year or so, I probably won't have to use it. I'll use the scale and fit of clothing to know if I'm overeating or under-eating. But in the meanwhile, I'm giving myself two years of training. I had to learn how to be a good therapist, to be a good hockey player, so why not learn how to be a good "eater".

NasMax

Spocky wrote: »

Hi! You can add me as friend if you would like it, sorry I don't log my food.

I am pissed off at pizza because I love the taste but It never makes me full. If I eat pizza, I'll become hungry very soon after that so that is why I don't eat it anymore. I had a theory about junk food in which you can eat one junk food on one day of the week like Monday but the more rarely I ate junk food the less I missed it. I am angry at junk food because one meal of junk food can counteract a whole week of or days of perfect, strict diet.
I think you have to create a hard rule-set about your diet so when you see or meet face to face with junk food you know that you can eat it or not. The more popular theory is you can eat it in moderation because if you never could eat it it would create more, uncontrollable cravings. Most of junk food is designed to make you want to eat more so my opinion is: eat them never or your favourite junk product once a week.

You sound like junk food is forcing itself on you rather than the other way around

karlsantiago

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
There is absolutely no other way around it. You can't just FORCE yourself to enjoy working out and eating healthy; it is impossible and WILL be detrimental to your personal development. So ultimately, at this present time you are going to have to suffer my friend. It's called tough love, there is no one out there that is really going to care about your excuses other than those that you pay to do that. Is that what you want? The only thing that anyone in this world cares about is EFFORT and RESULTS and once you see those results, something in your mind will trigger you to adhere to them. It will train your consciousness to follow the same activities that led to those DESIRABLE results.

Personally, I *kitten* hated eating healthy and tracking macros, etc. I STILL DO! But I am addicted to what I have become and I have become exponentially stronger mentally because what I trained my mind to be.

BOTTOM LINE: No excuses, no gimmicks, suffer now, reap rewards later on.

joolsmd

After 'falling off the wagon' twice I realised i would never lose weight if I didn't accurately and honestly log my calories. I am also very stubborn and understand that if I don't reign in my pate and cheese binges I will never be at the weight and level of health I want to be when I am older. OK, I might be restricting myself a teeny weeny bit much at the mo, but its my own fault and if I want to be able to eat a more varied diet later on down the line I need to make my relationship with food a bit more functional than its been lately.

Basically, for me, its suck it up, log cals, or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

zyxst

I taught myself that it was better to eat 2 cookies now and save the rest of them for tomorrow (and future tomorrows) so I could always have 2 cookies a day than eat 36 cookies and not have anymore until payday (2 weeks).

NasMax

joolsmd wrote: »

After 'falling off the wagon' twice I realised i would never lose weight if I didn't accurately and honestly log my calories. I am also very stubborn and understand that if I don't reign in my pate and cheese binges I will never be at the weight and level of health I want to be when I am older. OK, I might be restricting myself a teeny weeny bit much at the mo, but its my own fault and if I want to be able to eat a more varied diet later on down the line I need to make my relationship with food a bit more functional than its been lately.

Basically, for me, its suck it up, log cals, or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

what do you think the reason is that you kept falling off the wagon?

acahane

Thank you for all the replies.

I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.

Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.

Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.

Ooci

It's true what they say. Nothing tastes as good as being slim feels. An old one, but it works for me. I love being this weight. I feel sexy as hell, I get masses of compliments, I'm finally beating Julie at the tennis club even though I'd never even hit any kind of ball until last year. This is brilliant. It is worth deprivation and logging. (and yes you can alleviate feelings of deprivation by not denying yourself any type of food - but to me deprivation is eating less than 2200 - and it is worth it not to get this fab new body and new brain)

joolsmd

NasMax wrote: »

joolsmd wrote: »

After 'falling off the wagon' twice I realised i would never lose weight if I didn't accurately and honestly log my calories. I am also very stubborn and understand that if I don't reign in my pate and cheese binges I will never be at the weight and level of health I want to be when I am older. OK, I might be restricting myself a teeny weeny bit much at the mo, but its my own fault and if I want to be able to eat a more varied diet later on down the line I need to make my relationship with food a bit more functional than its been lately.

Basically, for me, its suck it up, log cals, or keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

what do you think the reason is that you kept falling off the wagon?

Laziness and gluttony.

I can reduce calories and increase activity as I've done it before, but I need to get into a habit which takes me a month or so. Once I'm back into it, I'll find it a lot easier to avoid laziness and gluttony.

TimothyFish

acahane wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies.

I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.

Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.

Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.

No, I disagree. I believe it would work for anyone, but there are a lot of people who choose not to do it.

Laura732

My ah-ha (or was it oh sh!!) moment was when a total stranger walked around me at Walmart. I used to make fun of the "Walmart waddlers" and when that person walked around me I went home, looked in the mirror, and saw that I was one.

I guess you could say that reality slapped me across the face, but like everyone else before me has said, I just buckled down and got it done. I learned about food, I learned about exercise, and still am. So, find out what you don't know and learn.

I didn't like what I saw so I seized the power to change me.

Sued0nim

acahane wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies.

I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.

Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.

Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.

You can dress it up however you like - yes there are a load of tricks that people develop to help them get through and stick with it ... But it boils down if you don't commit to doing it, really commit to doing it for you - then all the tips, tricks and ideas to stick to it in the world won't do anything for you

Because I have to say, 8 months in and the most successful I've ever been, it's still a fight sometimes to stick with it - right now I'm wavering, my motivation is low because I look good and I feel hormonal, cold and hungry but you know what ...I don't get to stop doing this because if I do - that will be it - it will be the slide into another yo-yo cycle

Losing weight is easier than keeping it off ... maintaining it is harder than losing it.

It's a constant mental battle with the worst opponent in the world - yourself!

Being honest and showing weakness is no huge revelation, you don't get brownie points (you can get Brownies as long as you log them )

Just remember every single one of us has done this - don't think we have it easier.

Commit yourself

it's not about motivation - it's about commitment and dedication to yourself

Sued0nim

Typing that out ^^^ has just motivated me to get up from my desk and go for a walk

laters

emmooney235

I like taking the easy way out with fast food and deliciously'nasty' meals, then about 45 minutes later I feel so ill. So now if I HAVE to have a burger/tacos/pasta/etc., I make it. I know that the calories are way lower and i can season the way I prefer. One trick that has been working for me is that i still buy chips, cookies, sweets, and the like. As soon as I get home I grab the food scale and I portion out the entire package into 1 serving size and pack it back up in the cheapest sandwich bags I can get. All those portions get tossed into a basket in the pantry. Done! I can grab one bag and have a nibble, take care of the craving, and I'm still within calories. Now I need to work on logging everything, I'm great for breakfast and lunch and then blow off dinner. I also need to set up a better routine for the gym. But, one step at a time.