How to be ok with it all?
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I was actually surprised at how easy it all was when I started 2 yrs ago. I had counted calories a couple of times many years ago, but doing it on internet was so easy---love the graphs. I also felt great right from the first week. I said "Hey--this is a good thing", and I just keep going. I push myself more when swimming so I get more "burn". I'm 60, but my body looks good and so I'm satisfied. As for the OP---a little negative, hum? You don't have the right mindset. To conquer the ups and downs you have to be a positive thinker. I hope I'm wrong, and you are a great success on MFP---I don't like to see anyone fail. Best.
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our bodies do self regulate to a point. after reading the book "Racing Weight" i've learned a lot about the difference between actual hunger, and mental hunger. actual hunger is being hungry and eating the healthy sandwich you made for lunch, while mental hunger is going for those greasy french fries that you like. i'm not saying you can't have fries occasionally, but you know what i mean.
learn to understand when you are satiated. learn to eat smart healthy foods. i've started to eat more fruits and veggies, and am feeling much healthier and fuller than when i ate junk.0 -
If you despise logging, then try a formal diet that doesn't require it. But then you have to follow its rules. Would that be easier to tolerate?
Something like South Beach (which is a balanced diet, not low carb, not low fat) and really follow it.
I'd probably still suggest logging for a month or so to make sure you're learning something about portion size...
So, log, or limit. And then either way, MAKE THE MOST OF IT and learn something while you're doing it so you don't have to do it again.0 -
Yup. It's a mental thing. OP, you are seeing the laws of biology and physics, and the process of tracking calories, as oppressive insults and proof that the universe is out to get you. In fact, the laws of biology are a standardized mechanism providing an orderly system to achieve a goal (weight loss/fitness), and calorie counting is simply a handy dandy tool that helps a lot of people get there.
I know that if I eat less than X calories per day, I'm going to lose weight. It might not be quickly. It might take much, much longer to come off in the places I want it to. But it will work. That's...actually kind of cool, when you think about it. I know if I follow my marathon training plan faithfully, I will come out the other end able to run 26.2 miles at the pace I want (assuming ideal weather and course conditions that day). That's pretty awesome. I like tracking calories. First of all, it works. Secondly, it's actually freeing. What? I can eat that? And it's not going to make me gain five pounds overnight? Oops, that lunch had more calories than I thought? Well, I guess I'll eat a smaller dinner.
What else has that kind of guarantee? When I teach a lesson, how do I know my students are going to get it? When my fiance has a bad day, how do I know I'm going to say the right thing to cheer him up? As I eagerly follow spoilers and let my excitement over the new Star Wars movie go out of control, how do I know it's going to be any good?0 -
logging isn't for life, it just help you acknowledge what you are doing wrong. can't stop at one cake? don't buy cakes. start eating clean. you won't wanna spoil it. it's not easy, but you can make it. it's a daily effort. that is for life. good luck.0
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melaniecheeks wrote: »Can you find a way to enjoy it? Feel a sense of satisfaction when you've completed a day's logging? Give yourself a high-five when you go to the gym (better style, find an activity that you like doing)
Yes!! This!!!0 -
When not doing it is more painful than doing it
Nothing is 'off my list for life'. Too negative.
I'm looking for new, positive things and changes to make.
i workout at home because getting to the gym was harder with the kids schedule.
I workout in the AM even though I'm a night owl and would rather sleep. Because my body Needs it and my kids Need me.
I have accountability groups to keep me going. When they are not checking in, I can slip more too. I go up and down at times, but that is life.
Glad you've found a new therapist to help with the anger part, and when you hit acceptance, I hope it changes for you!!!!
You can do it!0 -
Hate is a strong negative motivator. Try to find something you love about this whole thing and concentrate on what you love and are grateful for.
Grateful for your counselor? Glad there are healthy things that taste good like strawberries, or whatever fruit you like? Grateful there are people to talk to on MFP? Enjoy pushing the button on "Complete this entry" after you know you've done a good job that day?0 -
Logging is a valuable tool with weight loss because it makes you conscious of your choices and allows you to look back in history and figure out how you can make changes. It is so easy to live in denial if you don't have something like that to constantly remind you to stay on track. I used to think I ate pretty healthy, and I sort of did, but I didn't always make the best choices and my portion sizes were off the charts. Yes it can be a pain in the butt at times but if you don't do it, how else do you expect to get the results you want?
Do you cook for yourself? If so, start experimenting. I am a foodie and still enjoy a lot of the same dishes, I just make them with healthier options (leaner meats, lower carbs, more veg, etc) and also keep my portions in check. If you feel hungry all the time, you may need to focus more on your macro and micro nutrients - more protein, healthy fats and fiber will keep you full.
I think a lot of it is mindset. If you keep thinking of the things you CAN'T have rather than all the things you CAN have, you won't feel so deprived. And as others said, if you're really craving something, make it work. Need something crunchy with your sandwich at lunch? Have baby carrots, snow peas, etc instead of chips.
And yes, part of it is recognizing what you're not able to control yourself with. I can't keep gelato or ice cream in my house because I can't just eat one portion and it's too high in calories to overindulge. I fell off the wagon around the holidays and was eating way too much of it and my pants started getting tight. I finally had to say enough was enough. I am not buying bigger pants!! So now I'm back to what I used to do. If I really want some, I can stop for a cone somewhere but only if I have enough calories.
Maybe that can be your motivation to workout too. I know it's mine sometimes! If I don't workout, I can't eat what I want because I don't have enough calories. I've actually taken run/walks with the intent to burn enough calories to stop for a cone along my route. Whatever works!
If you want it bad enough, you'll find what works for you. Just don't give up!0 -
It just isn't fair that I'm not independently wealthy and that I have to work every day to support myself. It pisses me off. The world could not care less. If I want a roof over my head, I simply have to do my job and earn my pay.
Same with anything else you want in life. If you want to lose weight, you simply have to do what is needed and that is eat the right amount. The best way to know if you are doing that is to log it and keep track.0 -
I love this thread and all it's honesty. This sucks to a lot of people but as adults we have to realize we have to do this whether we like it or not.0
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The way I make my peace with it is to mentally tag my appetite along with my eyesight (I'm wearing contacts in my profile pic).
My eyesight is broken. I need corrective technology to deal.
My appetite is broken. I need corrective technology to deal.
I'm lucky to live in a time when my disabilities have corrective technology available to fix them.0 -
When I first started, I had a hard time limiting certain foods. So I didn't buy them for a few months.
Now I can eat one serving of anything and stop there. My appetite has decreased and my tolerance for sweet things has decreased.
I'm not someone who vilifies sugar or even tries to limit it, I just consume less than I used to due to having fewer calories and wanting to stay full (so more protein, fewer sweets). Now sweet things taste very sweet and I just don't want to eat more than one.0 -
NoelFigart1 wrote: »The way I make my peace with it is to mentally tag my appetite along with my eyesight (I'm wearing contacts in my profile pic).
My eyesight is broken. I need corrective technology to deal.
My appetite is broken. I need corrective technology to deal.
I'm lucky to live in a time when my disabilities have corrective technology available to fix them.
love this
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Believe me i know how you feel, i have lost weight once (6 st) and got to my goal (but i was still over weight on charts) but didn't like the way i looked and felt so i decided that i would like to put on a little bit of weight unfortunately i went a bit too far and put more than i lost back on because food is delicious and i wanted to eat everything i hated the fact i restricted myself. This time i am doing it because of a) health problems that it might help, b) i am older and if it is not done now i will be that fat old lady that people have difficulty pushing in a wheelchair and c) just to see if i can do it again, However i refuse to restrict myself as much as i did last time (as long as i can fit it in to my daily figures i see no problem) but i am only 25 days in and i am already getting bored of it all but i know i have to keep on plodding onwards other wise it will never happen.0
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I had to rethink about how I treat rewards in my life. I go by calories alone for weight loss (although I try to get my macros straight most days), some days I just want to eat a brick of cheese and a loaf of bread. I've learned that if I go for high calorie foods in large quantities, I won't have any calories left for when I'm hungry later. Reward now and discomfort later? Or smaller treat now and comfort later? Easy choice.
It's the same with eating an entire bag of chips or sweets in the house. I can eat 1 serving every day for 2 weeks, or I can have wayy too much one day. Which am I going to appreciate more? Spaced, portioned snacks are less fun than stuffing your face in the moment, but they're more enjoyable spaced out anyway.
Nothing tastes as good as the first bite.0 -
How to be ok with it?You do not have to be. Everyone before me has posted good information. What you have been doing. isn't working. You have a choice. Yes this is your choice. Keep doing what your doing and keep getting what your getting. You can be angry about it. I think you are anger isn't about what you have to do, its about what your not doing. You want to lose weight get fit. Track what your doing. If your not ok with this. This will not work.
It sounds like you have some other challenges as well. I am glad your getting assistance with that. Your body is yours to design, train and love as you see fit. I choose to love mine. You can do the same. My Pic is from this summer when I was bloated and weighed around 298 lbs.( look at that unhappy man) It is the avatar of every social media I own as a reminder of what I look like when I don't care enough to take care of me. That is how I am alright with tracking and exercising and being good to me. That is how I am ok with all I do now. Little by little I am reshaping myself. You can choose to do the same, whatever your reasons.0 -
Thank you for all the replies.
I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.
Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.
Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.
a change in mentality is what you are asking for. some people came to terms with the fact that they can't eat junk on a daily basis. some maybe not as simply as telling themselves "just do it" but yeah, most adults have come to terms that they can't always do exactly what they want.
so there you go. grow up and get on with it and just do it.0 -
Hi,
I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....
I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.
Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.
I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?
Why are you pissed that you "have" to log your food?
My body has self regulated actually. I can't eat fast food anymore - it makes me ill (sad). I'm super sensitive to sodium in foods and a lot of the foods I loved before I started this just don't taste very good anymore.
I accepted continual logging, exercise and changing my eating because it's what I needed to do to be less fat. And I wanted to be less fat more than I wanted to keep doing exactly what I was doing.
It really is mental, which is why so many of us are saying that. You want something bad enough, you do it.0 -
You have gotten some harsh replies, and sometimes its good to hear the harsh reality but I really do know what your saying, I think we have all felt that it just sucks to struggle with this issue of eating and weight over and over. I have been working hard to stay positive and take some of the "power" away from the food issue by telling myself "its just food!" and not the most important thing to me in my life. There are so many things that mean so much more and give you good feelings that last, such as health, relationships, feeling strong and good about who you are. Those things stick around a lot longer than an ice cream or a piece of pizza, which only feel good for the length of time it takes to shovel them in!
I feel your pain but work on a positive approach along with resolving to do things differently.0 -
herrspoons wrote: »I stopped whining, realised I was an adult, and got on with it.
This guy ^^^0 -
Our bodies were not designed to handle the abundance of food that we enjoy in modern society... Its kind of hard to fault 100000 years of human evolution for not being able to keep up with the last 50-100 years of technological advances. Its the (relatively small) price we must pay to overcome famine and starvation...0
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I don't blame you at all for feeling as you do. I've been in a similar place.
To be honest, I grieved. I grieved when it really sank in that my way of living and eating had to change forever. I hated exercise, I loved eating, and losing my way of life didn't feel good. In fact, it made me feel sad.
Like most instances of grieving, it didn't last forever, fortunately. I've learned more about cooking than I ever thought I would; I'm stronger now and can wear almost anything I want to.This morning I cooked up 40 grams of steel-cut oats, and when they were ready I stirred in a tablespoon of brown sugar and 56 grams of banana. It tasted awesome. Later I'm going to do some speed interval training because I'm hoping to run a public 5k this year. I grieved for my old life and now I have a new one. A life that will hopefully be longer and healthier, with a higher level of mobility throughout. It's worth the change.
It's okay. There's nothing wrong with looking at the calorie logging and lack of cake in your kitchen and thinking "this sucks." Just go ahead and feel what you're feeling, and look to the future.0 -
I'm kind of in love with this thread.
I have the same mindset as the poster, basically I'm pissed as hell that it's so easy to gain and it takes *gasp* some effort to lose.
Buuut I am expanding way too much and I guess I'm gonna have to suck it up and stop being so lazy and gluttonous.
If any of you guys are the type to willingly berate and positively monitor someone else on their nutrition and exercise (aka accountability) I'll gladly be the receiver of your reprimanding.0 -
Thank you for all the replies.
I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.
Au contraire.
It works for everyone ...EVERY ONE -- and it is the *ONLY* thing that works. It's the only thing that can work ... for what else is there but continuing down the line you are on that clearly does not work.
You either get on with it ... or you don't.
Sooner or later most of us make the decision, put on the BigBoyPants, and get busy fixing the problem we've had the solution to the whole time.
Others whine, kicking and screaming in denial to a death that comes 15 years too early due to complications from obesity.
It's time to make your choices, Bro.
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There's a lot about life we could all be pissed about. For me, I won't even go into all of it that I feel like I got cheated out of because, frankly, it makes me sound whiny, but it doesn't change the fact that, yeah, I still feel like I got the short end of just about every stick there is in life.
So how do you deal with it? I don't know. Just accept that the fact is life sucks, and for some it sucks worse. Just pick and deal with your suckage. My past will never change and I will still continue to feel cheated out of a lot of things that others just seem to get without trying. But oh well. I accept that life isn't fair and up until now it's a giant cosmic joke on Emdeesea. Ha ha, very funny, Universe.
I don't know. I just embrace the darkness and just deal. Oh freakin well.0 -
Just do it. Accountability to myself and my MFP friends keeps me motivated.0
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Okay, I was like you for a long time, OP. I think I was on a journey to get to the place where I was willing to accept the reality that I need to give eating conscious effort and I won't ever wake up where it is easy for me. I gained a lot of knowledge and skills along the way, which laid the groundwork for success but wasn't enough in and of itself.
Then this past summer I learned that at 35 years old I had a plaque in my eye, stenosis in my carotid artery, and was at risk of stroke or heart attack. Suddenly all that stuff about not wanting to, or wishful thinking, was no longer something I wanted to buy into.
When I started using MFP seriously I also found that logging actually gave me freedom and flexibility. I had the ability to really understand my diet and thus I could include all foods and easily figure out appropriate amounts. I had always been resistant to tracking, but now I love it. Yes, it's a pain at times, but actually it's quite easy to do and gives me a reason to be proud of myself every day when I click that "complete" button.0 -
Hi,
I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....
I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.
Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.
I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?
Thank you for posting this. I've been lurking on this site for many years, and here I am back again. It's interesting to see what makes people keep on keeping on. I'm great at buckling down for six months or so, then I ruin it all. I hope this time something is different, that I'm different, that I can learn to value myself enough to make long term changes.0
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