How to be ok with it all?
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I just realized that between the calorie maximizing legacy left by our evolutionary history, the mismatch between our bodies' needs and the needs of post-capitalism, the demands that system places on our time , the food industry's shenanigans, and car-oriented city design, I'd be screwed without counting.
It's not that hard to log with this app, especially when you've been doing it a while and the foods you eat most often are loaded up in the options. Seriously, it's a minor tradeoff for the benefits.
If you're mad at the state of things, you could get political (if you wanted).0 -
I'm too busy trying to deal with the lack of billions of dollars magically appearing in my bank account to worry about why food has calories.0
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yeah, would love to buy a new pair of boots every week. Or take another trip to Hawaii. Or spend a month in Europe. Or get a boat, vacation home, new skis every season, a massive tv for the basement. But I'm not wealthy and need to plan for those things. You know, budget. I see my food plan the same way. I can stomp my feet and be mad all I want that I'm not a trust fund kid (or a skinny metabolic wonder), but that doesn't help anything. You just have to face facts and handle the cards you are dealt, not the ones you want.
<shrug>
it is what it is. and it works.0 -
I'm not happy about having to log myself, but I accept it as a necessary thing. All I have to do is remind myself that logging let me lose over 30 lbs, and that's usually enough to keep me doing it. That, and I do bribe myself. XD0
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just focus on eating healthy foods, and then move on to portion control once your body is craving the GOOD food you've been eating. that might be an easier way to do it. also, if you start exercising (even just walking at a brisk pace), you'll see that you feel much better if you've put good food into your body.
be AWARE when you're eating. take your time.
your body and your mind will be happier if you eat and live healthy for a while. it won't happen overnight though, just like your weight gain didn't happen in a day, or a week, or even a month. it's years in the making!0 -
I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.0 -
[/quote]
Why are you pissed that you "have" to log your food?
My body has self regulated actually. I can't eat fast food anymore - it makes me ill (sad). I'm super sensitive to sodium in foods and a lot of the foods I loved before I started this just don't taste very good anymore.
I accepted continual logging, exercise and changing my eating because it's what I needed to do to be less fat. And I wanted to be less fat more than I wanted to keep doing exactly what I was doing.
It really is mental, which is why so many of us are saying that. You want something bad enough, you do it. [/quote]
This!0 -
I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.
This just resonated with me. I used to feel the same way (re: others eating with abandon) until I realized they don't. Most people aren't "naturally skinny." Any human body, if you feed it too many calories, is going to get fat. People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply don't want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to.0 -
I remember the very first time I joined WW when I was 17 years old. I hated it. It made me feel angry the way it makes you angry. I wasn't successful then, and I wasn't successful the three times after the first time I joined WW. Eventually you have to just buckle down and not overthink it so much. It's just logging food. It's just limiting yourself. If you look at it with such animosity, you won't ever get there. Like others have said, you'll have to learn a way to accept it as a part of daily life. That's what I'm currently working on, and it's going well for me so far.0
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Thank you for all the replies.
I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.
Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.
Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.
I don't think people are telling you to grow up because they're judging you. Please understand that a number of us have been where you are mentally, but at the end of the day we all need to do what is necessary to drop the pounds.
I understand where you're coming from. That was me for a long time. I saw other people who ate more than I did and stayed thin, while I have been fat for pretty much all my life and I had to make a concerted effort to lose weight (and it didn't always work depending on what plan I was using).
What changed for me is that the years went by and the number on the scale kept creeping up. Time stops for no one, and while time kept going by, I was getting further and further away from where I wanted to be. Is it fair that I have to track and others don't - no - but life isn't fair, and me being mad at the world isn't going to change my situation. I had to put my big girl panties on and make the changes needed to improve this aspect of my life.
On my mantle at home, I see a picture of my dad at 33 with me, and another picture of me at 33 now, both being morbidly obese, and remember every single day that I track so I don't end up dead at 57 years old. That is what has me at 23 pounds lost (the most I have ever lost). I have a looong way to go, but I had to start somewhere, and it's better than being 23 pounds heavier.
You have to know why you personally are making the effort and why it is important to you and your life before making that stick. You have to take control of your own life - other people aren't living it for you.0 -
0somuchbetter0 wrote: »I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.
This just resonated with me. I used to feel the same way (re: others eating with abandon) until I realized they don't. Most people aren't "naturally skinny." Any human body, if you feed it too many calories, is going to get fat. People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply don't want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to.
This is an overgeneralization and isn't true. Before I got pregnant, I did eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound. I was a marvel....going out to eat...always ordered 2 of everything (appetizer, entrees, dessert). Waiters were always shocked and asked if I was really going to eat it all and where was I going to put it. Meals at home....2nds and thirds. Can I still do that? nope *tears up* An ex of mine eats a ridiculous amount of calories per day and can't gain weight (he's a stick), despite trying for years. But as in all things, you have to work with what you were given. Such is life!
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I make everything I eat as delicious as possible, and treat my food diary as a puzzle instead of a chore. "How much yummy can I fit in ____ calories?" If I can't eat everything I want (read: box of donuts), I can at least want everything I eat. I'm not going to force down kale or plain greek yogurt. Bleah. It's like chalk pudding.
I also take breaks from logging my food. When I first started (years ago, on another account) I logged everything, all the time. As I got more comfortable with it, I took one day off a week. I wouldn't go crazy, but it'd be a day to keep me from feeling too OCD about things. Just grab a handful of pretzels if that's what I want, rather than weighing or counting out an exact portion of pretzels. Go out to dinner to that place that doesn't have calories listed. Go to a friend's house and not guestimate how many ounces of wine she poured for me. That sort of thing.
Now, I eat a little less during the week, so I can take weekends and major holidays off from logging. It's working for me. I'm losing at a rate I feel comfortable with, and I'm enjoying my food. Happy medium.
And if you have your settings calculated correctly, you shouldn't be starving yourself. Once I add in exercise, I'm eating a good amount of food. Even without exercise, I'm never hungry, until it's meal time.0 -
Hi,
I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.
...
I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept ... accept... etc etc
I have had issues all my life. Specifically, I managed to get 100lb overweight because I did not feel accepted by family. Being an outcast early in life, I learned to fit in and to be very,very good at everything - except weight management. It was like, you *will* accept me fat and as I am and no matter what, I *refuse* to conform to your rules...
This is not resolved by "growing up" as in "grow up and stop whining already". It is resolved by understanding where the anger really, really comes from and from being able, gradyally, to do just what you mentioned so many times in your last paragraph - accept (whatever it is you specifically need to understand and accept). And move on.
Good luck, you are doing the right thing I think - asking yourself questions. No answers were ever obtained otherwise.0 -
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?
I think it's helpful to be reflective about what caused you to gain weight. For me, a big part of it was thoughtless eating--I don't need to necessarily track (although I do currently and have no plans to stop), I need to be sensible and eat mindfully. This is not usually burdensome--often it actually adds to my enjoyment--although, sure, sometimes I just want to be able to eat without thinking. Another big part of it for me is that I used food inappropriately, as mood regulation and all that, and related to that is that I don't seem to have a very good connection between my bodily needs and hunger or hunger and wanting to eat. I'm rarely especially hungry in a physical sense, my desire to eat depends on other things.
So given all this, tactics that worked for me is not eating for emotional purposes and mostly eating to a schedule and just eliminating foods at other times (but for rare exceptions).
I have not decided that any foods are off the menu for life. To the extent I think a food is a trigger, my goal is to teach myself so that it no longer is. I'm actually pretty successful at doing moderation now that I'm dealing with my personal issues.
Re cravings, I tell myself I'm not really hungry and even if I am I'm eating soon enough, so I can wait. If there's a particular food I want and it's a lasting thing (or something that there's no harm in satisfying, which is generally the case), I fit it in, perhaps in a small quantity.
The gym was my biggest struggle in the early days, but also what I consider my biggest success. Start slow, make it as fun as possible rather than onerous. Keep trying new activities if you aren't sold on what you are doing. Eventually it becomes a habit and even one you will look forward to. (Plus, if you are active you can eat more and fit in more of the difficult to fit in meals.)0 -
Oh, I didn't answer the how to accept continual logging bit. Like I said, I'm not convinced that's necessary, as there are other tactics if you find it burdensome. However, and related to how I accept it, is that it's educational. I enjoy collecting information and number crunching too, so for me logging kind of makes this a game--it's interesting to see what I eat and compare it across time, to look at calories or try to improve my numbers (hit macros, eat more veggies, whatever). But even if I don't continue, I've learned a lot and can easily pick out a day's worth of meals that would fit in my current calorie goal and nutritional goals. And I think it's a useful skill to understand what foods are nutritionally, to know what the relative fat/carb/protein breakdowns are or how they differ nutritionally. I'm actually glad I've had reason to learn about stuff like this.0
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.
This just resonated with me. I used to feel the same way (re: others eating with abandon) until I realized they don't. Most people aren't "naturally skinny." Any human body, if you feed it too many calories, is going to get fat. People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply don't want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to.
This is an overgeneralization and isn't true. Before I got pregnant, I did eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound. I was a marvel....going out to eat...always ordered 2 of everything (appetizer, entrees, dessert). Waiters were always shocked and asked if I was really going to eat it all and where was I going to put it. Meals at home....2nds and thirds. Can I still do that? nope *tears up* An ex of mine eats a ridiculous amount of calories per day and can't gain weight (he's a stick), despite trying for years. But as in all things, you have to work with what you were given. Such is life!
I said MOST people0 -
0somuchbetter0 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.
This just resonated with me. I used to feel the same way (re: others eating with abandon) until I realized they don't. Most people aren't "naturally skinny." Any human body, if you feed it too many calories, is going to get fat. People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply don't want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to.
This is an overgeneralization and isn't true. Before I got pregnant, I did eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound. I was a marvel....going out to eat...always ordered 2 of everything (appetizer, entrees, dessert). Waiters were always shocked and asked if I was really going to eat it all and where was I going to put it. Meals at home....2nds and thirds. Can I still do that? nope *tears up* An ex of mine eats a ridiculous amount of calories per day and can't gain weight (he's a stick), despite trying for years. But as in all things, you have to work with what you were given. Such is life!
I said MOST people
You said "People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply dont want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to." Where is the "MOST"? But whatever.
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I watched the show "My 600 pound life" and realized even though I may never have my weight get that out of control, it has run my life for far to long. I too got lazy about my food choices and saw it affect my children, my health, my love life .... sometimes you just have to realize it's gonna suck a little (or a lot) until your mind is right.
We try and give our kids the tools to move forward as good healthy adults but then forget that we too have an obligation to not only ourselves but those around us. I don't want to be a burden to my family or to those in society that eventually will be stuck taking care of my illnesses if I don't get my health under my control.
The big thing to remember ... this is YOUR choice. No one can make you do it. It's better to get on board, take it by the horns and gain the confidence and self-worth only you have the ability to give yourself.0 -
0somuchbetter0 wrote: »0somuchbetter0 wrote: »I was angry for the first six months of my weight loss. I had to reconcile that I could not eat with abandon as I see others do. Eh, that's what I have to deal with.
I was also angry anticipating that others were judging me lazy or stupid for allowing my weight to get out of control. Is it possible that I could be competent and intelligent in other realms, and somehow completely miss the education on nutrition? Of course not. I know all about healthy eating.
Things really switched around when I had my first NSV. After about 25 pounds down, I gained enough mobility that I was able to catch myself from falling. For the first time I started to believe that I could have a different life.
And I do now.
This just resonated with me. I used to feel the same way (re: others eating with abandon) until I realized they don't. Most people aren't "naturally skinny." Any human body, if you feed it too many calories, is going to get fat. People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply don't want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to.
This is an overgeneralization and isn't true. Before I got pregnant, I did eat anything I wanted without gaining a pound. I was a marvel....going out to eat...always ordered 2 of everything (appetizer, entrees, dessert). Waiters were always shocked and asked if I was really going to eat it all and where was I going to put it. Meals at home....2nds and thirds. Can I still do that? nope *tears up* An ex of mine eats a ridiculous amount of calories per day and can't gain weight (he's a stick), despite trying for years. But as in all things, you have to work with what you were given. Such is life!
I said MOST people
You said "People who claim they eat anything they want are either lying or they simply dont want to stuff themselves silly the way I used to." Where is the "MOST"? But whatever.
Scroll up. it's there.0 -
And something else to keep in mind: while I still have to log, after doing it for a couple of years now, I'm much better at estimating my daily calories and how to fit in extra things when needed/wanted. When I crave something, I'm pretty good about figuring out what I need to adjust for the day. I still need to log because I'm not perfect and math isn't my strong suit! But over time, logging is more of a fail-safe for me. Part of learning how to self-adjust is knowing where you're coming from. Once you get that part down and it becomes habit, it's not nearly as big a deal as it used to be.0
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