How to be ok with it all?
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Thank you for all the replies.
I knew typing this out I would get a few "grow up", "get on with it", "just do it" types of replies. To all of those, I am glad that mentality worked for you..it does not work for everyone.
Being honest and showing your weakness is hard as you will get judgement. Thanks for all those that posted some helpfull ideas without the attitude.
Some intresting ideas in this thread. I hope it helps me and helps anyone else in the same boat.
I think the "grow up" "get on with it," and "just do it" are helpful advice; not judgement. We have all had to do that; that's why we're here.
I think it's all about attitude. You can either say, "I have to," or "I want to." I, and many others here, choose to say, "I want to." I want to feel better, I want to lose weight, I want to have more energy. If logging my food and excercise everyday is what keeps me accountable, then this is what I will do. Because I am a grown up and I make the choice!0 -
I get that this all gets tedious; I’ve been on this site logging for over 600 days, and sometimes there are things I’d rather be doing with those 10-15 minutes a day it takes to log my food and exercise. But look at it from this big picture perspective – our bodies seek fattening food and store fat because our prehistoric selves went most of their lives without knowing where and when their next meal would come from. Imagine scratching out your existence day in and day out, scavenging for food, just a bad luck incident or two away from starving to death or being weakened by hunger to the point where you would get killed by predators, either animals or humans. Now fast forward thousands of years, and appreciate the nature of your burden – you are surrounded by such an overabundance of food resources that you actually have to force yourself to limit how much you eat!
Appreciate where we are in terms of human development, eat one of those delicious cakes (but not the entire box), log it, and enjoy the rest of your day as a contemporary, civilized human being
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I deal with it the same way I deal with having to do laundry or the dishes. Do I want to do it? No. Do I need to do it? Yes.
It's part of my responsibilities. It's something that I have to do just like a chore. I took all of the emotion out of it.
I also looked at it as habit building. I focus way more on "healthy" behaviors than actual weight loss. These healthy behaviors are what leads to weight loss, but the behaviors I can control. The number that shows up on the scale is out of my control (if you catch my meaning). I focus on sticking to my daily habits (usually staying within my calorie goal, drinking 76 oz of water, 10k steps, and sticking to my workout plan). If I hit my daily habits, I'm happy.
I highly recommend "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. It totally changed my viewpoint on weight loss/calorie counting.0 -
HappyCampr1 wrote: »Once I realized that losing weight was just counting calories and being at the correct deficit, it was actually kind of a relief to me. I am a "list maker" kind of person, I enjoy them and completing my diary for the day is just another list. One I will probably have to make for the rest of my life. Its better than being fat. Also, you dont have to live without any of your favorite foods! Just smaller amounts.
This is me too. Once I realized that all I had to do to lose weight was log accurately and meet my goals, I was in heaven. You mean I don't have to go low fat, low carb, quit eating everything I love...? Counting calories is the best thing that ever happened to me. Doing it, I've lost 70 pounds. It has given me the freedom of knowing that the dessert I'm eating after my dinner is already logged and planned for. I can't have everything I want, whenever I want it, but I can have guilt free food anytime I like...so long as I fit it into my calories. To me, that's priceless.
I want to second this as well.
I used to feel so guilty when I ate sweets. Really guilty. I would hide my eating and then just kick in the "what the hell" effect and would eat everything.
Now, I know that if I'm eating sweets, I've planned for it. It fits into my daily goals. I don't feel guilty anymore. It's liberating. I don't have to hide and I don't binge because I don't feel bad about it.
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There's no other alternative. Unless you call being fat and unhappy with myself an alternative. No thanks, I'd rather be happy and feel good about myself. If that means logging my food, so be it.0
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SingRunTing wrote: »I deal with it the same way I deal with having to do laundry or the dishes. Do I want to do it? No. Do I need to do it? Yes.
It's part of my responsibilities. It's something that I have to do just like a chore. I took all of the emotion out of it.
I also looked at it as habit building. I focus way more on "healthy" behaviors than actual weight loss. These healthy behaviors are what leads to weight loss, but the behaviors I can control. The number that shows up on the scale is out of my control (if you catch my meaning). I focus on sticking to my daily habits (usually staying within my calorie goal, drinking 76 oz of water, 10k steps, and sticking to my workout plan). If I hit my daily habits, I'm happy.
I highly recommend "The Power of Habit" by Charles Duhigg. It totally changed my viewpoint on weight loss/calorie counting.
I really like this idea.
Sometimes focusing on our goals gets in the way of actually reaching them. Its the process that gets you there. Only focus on the goal for the purpose of adjusting your process if necessary.
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It sounds to me like you're having a temper tantrum - so go ahead! Have your temper tantrum. I probably have at least one a week. For me it's about working out. I always feel treat after I work out, but before hand, I'd like to lay on the floor and scream and kick my feet rather than do my workout. It used to stop me from meeting my goal, but not anymore.
i play little mind games with myself. Now, when I don't want to workout, I don't make myself. Instead, all I require is that I show up ready to work out. So if I'm supposed to be working out at the gym, all I have to do, is have my workout clothes on, and be at the gym. Every time I do this, I'm ready to workout in about 10 minutes.
Maybe this could work for you with logging?
Also- as far as cravings go, your body WIll retrain itself. When I was in high school, I used to drink about 4-6 cokes a day. Now, I've been totally off all soda for about 15 years. I don't crave it at all. I crave what I drink now- plain seltzer.
Give yourself a break. Have a tantrum if you want one, and then be kind to yourself. Your cravings won't change over night, but if you are kind and go as slow with yourself as you would with someone you love and care about, you'll see the changes you want.0 -
With the habit forming threads; I just read (I can't remember exactly where - either NPR or Washington Post) an article about the brain and how it works. What was stated was this: the brain works in patterns and a habit is a pattern of behavior. Just stopping in order to change the habit doesn't work as the brain will look for another pattern to work with. So, the most successful way to end an undesirable habit is to swap it for a desirable one.
I thought this was pretty interesting and it has changed the way I look at my lifestyle changes; I'm swapping an undesirable pattern for a more desirable one.0 -
I have to admit, at first I greatly struggled with the idea of having to log EVERYTHING - it just seemed tedious and annoying to me. And then I went out and brought a kitchen scale.
The thought of having to measure and log every single thing for the rest of my life is a bit scary, but I try to console myself with the fact that a) at least I'll know what I'm eating and hopefully will get back to my previous weight; and b) hopefully I will manage to build a habit and mental portion control that will help me evaluate what I'm putting in my body without having to measure out every grain. The logging itself hasn't been as bad as I feared it would be, although eating out is a real hassle (and so I have been avoiding it as much as possible for the first weeks), and I am often truly shocked by how much calories some foods actually contain. And why I gained the weight in the first place is also much more obvious now.
So yeah, I understand you completely, OP, but I think the only thing that will help you is if you try to think all of it through very clearly for yourself. Logging is a pain, but being fat and unfit is even worse, imho.0 -
I get that this all gets tedious; I’ve been on this site logging for over 600 days, and sometimes there are things I’d rather be doing with those 10-15 minutes a day it takes to log my food and exercise. But look at it from this big picture perspective – our bodies seek fattening food and store fat because our prehistoric selves went most of their lives without knowing where and when their next meal would come from. Imagine scratching out your existence day in and day out, scavenging for food, just a bad luck incident or two away from starving to death or being weakened by hunger to the point where you would get killed by predators, either animals or humans. Now fast forward thousands of years, and appreciate the nature of your burden – you are surrounded by such an overabundance of food resources that you actually have to force yourself to limit how much you eat!
Appreciate where we are in terms of human development, eat one of those delicious cakes (but not the entire box), log it, and enjoy the rest of your day as a contemporary, civilized human being
Do you really think that it would make any difference if our "prehistoric selves" had had an abundance of food? There is no evidence to support such a notion.0 -
Just responding to the original post...
Many people find that once they get empty carbs--things like white sugar, white flour, white rice and pasta out of their diets, that cravings disappear or are seriously reduced. That might be something to think about if you have a big struggle with cravings.
Sure, "good foods" and "bad foods" is kind of a false dichotomy, but there are some foods that are better as occasional indulgences rather than as everyday staples.
Another thing to think about might be quality rather than quantity. Would you rather have a really nice piece of fine chocolate or a small but very delicious desert from a good baker, or do you want to eat a whole box of stale Little Debbie snack cakes that are essentially flavorless? Healthy eating doesn't have to be about denial--you can enjoy a lot of things if you are willing to make slightly better choices.
I've never been a junk food/fast food eater, so I don't relate to a lot of what you are saying. There are many amazing, delicious foods that really are healthy. Instead of thinking about what you are missing out on, you could look at this as an opportunity to expand your palate and try interesting new things. Recently, I've been really inspired by cookbooks written by an author named Yotam Ottolenghi--he does incredible, tasty, creative things with vegetables. Changing your eating could be a chance to try all kinds of great stuff that you've been missing out on because you are stuffing your face with mass-produced burgers and nasty fries.
Eating healthy doesn't have to imply suffering or denial--just the opposite, really.0 -
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?
I don't think that anything HAS to be off the menu for life--there is nothing wrong with occasional indulgences.
I am at peace with it all because living well makes me feel great. Exercise makes me feel great. Taking care of myself feels good. Being able to do what I want to do and have tons of energy makes it worthwhile.
Maybe you need to think about defining joy and pleasure in life by things other than food. Food doesn't make me happy--it is just fuel.
Why don't you WANT to get your *kitten* to the gym? Exercise is fun. It's a great way to make new friends and keep your mind sharp.
Maybe you just need to force yourself to do some of these things for a while until you can start seeing the benefits and not just the negative aspects.
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You have to keep trying to change bad habits until it sticks. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on and try again. Also there is some trial and error for many people...at least for me. Find the method that works best for you. If one fails, try a different method.Hi,
I need to get my head straight with weight loss. E.g logging food ...I know its a good thing, I know that you need to do it consitantly and with accuraccy. I know that if I want to loose weight I will need to start doing it. But....
I just am really pissed that I have to do it. I hate that our bodies dont self regulate. I hate that so many great tasting foods are high in calories/sugar/bad fats. I hate that I get cravings, cant stop at one cake (whole box goes). I am so angry about it all.
Its like I want to live in a reality where our bodies grave good food, reject bad food, dont want to overeat and changing yourself is as easy as making a choice.
I have been in therapy for a while and recently started with a new one that specializes in weight and eating issues.
So how did you do it? How did you manage to change your mind? Accept continualy logging? Accept that some foods were trigger foods and were off the menu for life? Say no to yourself when a craving hits? Get your *kitten* down the gym when you dont want to? Be at peace with it all?
Some people log everything. Some people never log food and still lose weight. There is no "must" involved in this. I have lost over 85 pounds. Most of that I did not log anything or count calories. I have started doing that fairly recently and mainly to play with macros and see what worked best for me. You don't HAVE to be tied to logging for the rest of your life unless that is what works best FOR YOU....not for other people on this site.
Some people have their cakes, just in moderation. That did not work for me...I had to stop bringing sweets and other trigger foods into my home at all. I never have them at home...never. On RARE occasions as a treat I will have cake or something like that in a restaurant or at a social event. THAT works perfectly for me and makes it seem very easy to eat this way. I never feel deprived. Others on here could not do it that way...they swear it would set them up to fail. Try both for a few weeks or a month and see which is easier to maintain for you. Nobody can give you the answer, you have to figure out for yourself what works for you.
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I didn't have to change my mindset. I found what motivates me personally.
I am highly motivated by success. I don't look at diet and exercise as a painful means to getting thin. I look at it as training to succeed at all the goals I want to accomplish. I want to run 5ks and have a good time (for me, not for breaking some record). So I got out and started running. I want to be able to lift weight equal to or great than my body weight. So I hit decide to start a lifting program. I want to live a long life. So I started paying attention to the food I put in my body. And there are so many other goals I have, I could go on forever.
Every day I'm excited to take another step towards all of these goals. When I head to the gym, I don't think "ugh let me just get this out to way because it's annoying and awful." I think "let's knock this out so we can see some progress." When I see the success other people have, I don't say "ugh it looks so easy for them" (since there tends to be some odd mindset that goes around where you see someone in great shape and you assume it's just easy peasy for them). I see other people with great success and think "man, she looks great. I want to put in the work she puts in too."
I log food because I know I need to so I can succeed. I exercise because I know I need to so I can succeed.0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »I get that this all gets tedious; I’ve been on this site logging for over 600 days, and sometimes there are things I’d rather be doing with those 10-15 minutes a day it takes to log my food and exercise. But look at it from this big picture perspective – our bodies seek fattening food and store fat because our prehistoric selves went most of their lives without knowing where and when their next meal would come from. Imagine scratching out your existence day in and day out, scavenging for food, just a bad luck incident or two away from starving to death or being weakened by hunger to the point where you would get killed by predators, either animals or humans. Now fast forward thousands of years, and appreciate the nature of your burden – you are surrounded by such an overabundance of food resources that you actually have to force yourself to limit how much you eat!
Appreciate where we are in terms of human development, eat one of those delicious cakes (but not the entire box), log it, and enjoy the rest of your day as a contemporary, civilized human being
Do you really think that it would make any difference if our "prehistoric selves" had had an abundance of food? There is no evidence to support such a notion.
I’m a little taken aback that you don’t know the basic evolutionary principles behind these types of biological characteristics.0 -
Lots of really good advice in this post!
I view logging and exercise like other daily chores. Do I want to get out of bed every morning and go to work? No, but I have to. Do I want to go through the process of getting three little kids bathed and in PJs every night? No, but I have to. Do I want to do laundry every week? No, but I have to. In life we many times have to do things we don't necessarily want to do. The trick is finding little ways to make these things more enjoyable.
I think many times people feel like, "Well, I am trying to lose weight and am on a diet so I can eat nothing but salads." So they eat things they really don't like which they can only stand for a week or two at most and then go back to their old habits. Guess what I learned? I don't like salads! Well I really do, but only the ones with a lot of dressing and calorie-laden things on them. So I learned to find calorie friendly foods that I actually like and look forward to eating. For me it has been soups - I have been making a ton trying out different recipes online. I have also tried many new veggies and have found some I love!
As for exercise, I have found that as much as I sometimes dread getting out of bed to do it, when I am done I am ALWAYS (and I mean every, single, time) glad that I did it. And that high, coupled with the steady weight loss, keeps me coming back for more!0 -
TimothyFish wrote: »I get that this all gets tedious; I’ve been on this site logging for over 600 days, and sometimes there are things I’d rather be doing with those 10-15 minutes a day it takes to log my food and exercise. But look at it from this big picture perspective – our bodies seek fattening food and store fat because our prehistoric selves went most of their lives without knowing where and when their next meal would come from. Imagine scratching out your existence day in and day out, scavenging for food, just a bad luck incident or two away from starving to death or being weakened by hunger to the point where you would get killed by predators, either animals or humans. Now fast forward thousands of years, and appreciate the nature of your burden – you are surrounded by such an overabundance of food resources that you actually have to force yourself to limit how much you eat!
Appreciate where we are in terms of human development, eat one of those delicious cakes (but not the entire box), log it, and enjoy the rest of your day as a contemporary, civilized human being
Do you really think that it would make any difference if our "prehistoric selves" had had an abundance of food? There is no evidence to support such a notion.
I don't understand the question...? No evidence to support what notion?0 -
I've been following this thread since I got to work this morning. OP, it's up to you to decide when you're ready. I know for me, every time I've had challenging moments in my life I've gained weight because I stopped paying attention. I moved overseas --> gained weight. I got my first real job --> gained weight. Went to grad school --> gained weight. Got married --> gained weight. Dad died --> gained weight. You get the picture. That's life. How you deal with the stress of life is entirely up to you. I log and log and log and yes it's boring sometimes but I look and feel better and I'm healthier than I've been in years...ever, maybe. It's worth it, but no one can make you do it. Only you can.0
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This^^^^^^^^TMLPatrick wrote: »Our bodies were not designed to handle the abundance of food that we enjoy in modern society... Its kind of hard to fault 100000 years of human evolution for not being able to keep up with the last 50-100 years of technological advances. Its the (relatively small) price we must pay to overcome famine and starvation...
I find it ironic that to combat our weakness in dealing with the abundance of food that we have today, we need a technological tool like MFP. It is exactly for this reason that it exists--and works. It is so easy to use, so I don't understand all the resistance to logging.
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I just want to say I know exactly how you feel, I have asked a lot of the same questions, like, why is it easier for some people, some people are naturally thin and don't have to try (like my bf) how is it fair that along with battling depression I have to battle with my weight too? Some days it feels like I haven't enough troops to fight. But instead of focusing on why things are the way they are with our bodies I try to accept things the way they are and think of what I can do to combat the issues that I have. OP I am with you, saying grow up and just do it aren't helpful things to say, as a person without depression might say to someone with it, just cheer up. I realized that I have been wasting my life being overweight. Here's that has helped me a lot, watch these documentaries, Hungry For a Change, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead 1 and 2. They're on Netflix there are several others that are good too but Hungry for a Change is what really keeps me going when I'm feeling low about the whole weight loss journey thing.
Hope that you are successful!!0
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