All those asking and answeing questions
NiceSmile17
Posts: 16
I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
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Unfortunately that's a thing prevalent on all forums, no matter what the focus of the forum. It's just best to ask what you want, because you don't know and need the answer. Then weed out the responses you don't find helpful.0
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It's important to clarify when someone spreads misinformation. And it's especially important to continuously point out when/how someone is logging incorrectly whey they ask why they are stalling/not seeing results, and claiming they ARE logging correctly. Many of these users unfortunately tend to disregard the comments about their poor logging.
This is just how forums tend to work in general. Not just MFP. If you can't be vocal and back up what you are saying, or at least can't ignore any potential offense thrown at you, then you're probably not going to work your way into the forum setting very effectively.0 -
I've found it's easier to search for something here than to ask a question outright. Everyone here is apparently psychic, so no matter how carefully you phrase something, someone will insist it's not what you meant, or that you're wrong, or that they have more knowledge than you and your doctor. Less stressful to weed through where someone else has already been abused asking the same question than become the recipient of it yourself.0
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I couldn't agree more! There are so many trolls and just outright bullies on here. There are great people too, but it's work finding them! This is why I've built myself a good friends list of nice, supportive, common sense people, and then I post the questions on my own page where my friends list can see and respond, rather than just throwing them out here on the boards to get attacked and derailed. You're welcome to friend me if you would like input and idea sharing free of criticism or discouragement.
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i find that the most intimidating and opinionated people are usually the ones that are saying "it worked for me" without any other type of backup or support.0
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OP, you have to also consider that disagreement =/= attacking. If someone makes a claim, people are the right to question and ask for scientific support to back the claim.
Also, we are all noobs as some point, so being told we are wrong and being given proof is they only way you will learn.
If someone is actually an attack, then report it, but after modding this forum for several years, the majority of the time, the OP or other posters are just being sensitive.
And more important, encouraging people to do stuff that is just wrong (like a cleanse or detox) isn't going to benefit the OP or lurkers at all.0 -
Part of the problem is the bad information that is being passed on. People take real offense to someone talking about something they know "nothing" about. There are absolute right and wrong ways to do things and some in between in losing weight. But too frequently, someone who has lost 12 lbs and thinks they are an expert offers bad advise. This happens more often then not and can influence someone just starting. However, there is no reason for someone to respond rudely even if the information is wrong. If I have question, I'll find someone who "knows" what they are talking about and PM them. Or, I Google the information.0
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Except this doesn't happen. Someone will say "I have x problem" and they will either only post things like... a non-useful diary entry, how much they work out, or their life story.I've found it's easier to search for something here than to ask a question outright. Everyone here is apparently psychic, so no matter how carefully you phrase something, someone will insist it's not what you meant, or that you're wrong, or that they have more knowledge than you and your doctor. Less stressful to weed through where someone else has already been abused asking the same question than become the recipient of it yourself.
So we then need to get down their stats, their goals, ask them to open up their diary.
IN most cases we will see that they are not logging properly, so we let them know. Or we will see that their goal is way too low and that, even though it likely is not the reason they are failing to see results, it is a very poor choice health-wise and could be very negatively affecting any of their exercise attempts (lowering their overall energy and recovery, for instance).
If it's another problem, then we try and get as much info as possible. Until then we can only provide some very basic advice. The only time people are "abused" is when the majority of posters give the SAME advice and OP ignores it entirely. At that point it's clear the OP only wants to hear what they want to hear. This is often the case in anti-sugar/junk food threads and when people demonstrate poor logging habits.
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It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.0 -
I've found it's easier to search for something here than to ask a question outright. Everyone here is apparently psychic, so no matter how carefully you phrase something, someone will insist it's not what you meant, or that you're wrong, or that they have more knowledge than you and your doctor. Less stressful to weed through where someone else has already been abused asking the same question than become the recipient of it yourself.
This.0 -
Except this doesn't happen. Someone will say "I have x problem" and they will either only post things like... a non-useful diary entry, how much they work out, or their life story.I've found it's easier to search for something here than to ask a question outright. Everyone here is apparently psychic, so no matter how carefully you phrase something, someone will insist it's not what you meant, or that you're wrong, or that they have more knowledge than you and your doctor. Less stressful to weed through where someone else has already been abused asking the same question than become the recipient of it yourself.
So we then need to get down their stats, their goals, ask them to open up their diary.
IN most cases we will see that they are not logging properly, so we let them know. Or we will see that their goal is way too low and that, even though it likely is not the reason they are failing to see results, it is a very poor choice health-wise and could be very negatively affecting any of their exercise attempts (lowering their overall energy and recovery, for instance).
If it's another problem, then we try and get as much info as possible. Until then we can only provide some very basic advice. The only time people are "abused" is when the majority of posters give the SAME advice and OP ignores it entirely. At that point it's clear the OP only wants to hear what they want to hear. This is often the case in anti-sugar/junk food threads and when people demonstrate poor logging habits.
I just read in another thread where someone said her doctor prescribed her vitamin D, and listed other drugs and restrictions, so wanted to track it to make sure she's not getting too much. One of the first replies she got was don't bother tracking because the sun exists. That's not trying to get more info, that's making the assumption that the poster AND her doctor are both so ignorant, they set up this entire health plan without that important knowledge that only a random message board poster could enlighten them with.
That's not trying to get all the relevant information or clear up misinformation. It's just hubris, and they're always on the first page of replies.0 -
Hey, welcome to the internet
Don't spout Bro-Science and you'll be fine
My question is would you prefer the regular / oldies to allow people to advise you that you should eat more calories to lose weight or that starvation mode exists which are two oft-spouted pieces of advice that have no science to back them up - other than it's what people have heard0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
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Capt_Apollo wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
I'd put this one somewhere between babycenter and cafemom on a sliding scale.0 -
LOL *nods*Capt_Apollo wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
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Except this doesn't happen. Someone will say "I have x problem" and they will either only post things like... a non-useful diary entry, how much they work out, or their life story.I've found it's easier to search for something here than to ask a question outright. Everyone here is apparently psychic, so no matter how carefully you phrase something, someone will insist it's not what you meant, or that you're wrong, or that they have more knowledge than you and your doctor. Less stressful to weed through where someone else has already been abused asking the same question than become the recipient of it yourself.
So we then need to get down their stats, their goals, ask them to open up their diary.
IN most cases we will see that they are not logging properly, so we let them know. Or we will see that their goal is way too low and that, even though it likely is not the reason they are failing to see results, it is a very poor choice health-wise and could be very negatively affecting any of their exercise attempts (lowering their overall energy and recovery, for instance).
If it's another problem, then we try and get as much info as possible. Until then we can only provide some very basic advice. The only time people are "abused" is when the majority of posters give the SAME advice and OP ignores it entirely. At that point it's clear the OP only wants to hear what they want to hear. This is often the case in anti-sugar/junk food threads and when people demonstrate poor logging habits.
I just read in another thread where someone said her doctor prescribed her vitamin D, and listed other drugs and restrictions, so wanted to track it to make sure she's not getting too much. One of the first replies she got was don't bother tracking because the sun exists. That's not trying to get more info, that's making the assumption that the poster AND her doctor are both so ignorant, they set up this entire health plan without that important knowledge that only a random message board poster could enlighten them with.
That's not trying to get all the relevant information or clear up misinformation. It's just hubris, and they're always on the first page of replies.
And that is something that should be reported. We can't stop people from posting stupid responses, but we can enforce the rules.
I suspect it was and was already taken care of because the one vitamin D thread i see on the page doesn't have the kind of response.
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LOL *nods*Capt_Apollo wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
Also through in video game or political forums. Heck, the car forums I was on were a lot worse and I am pretty sure this is tame compared to bb.com
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NiceSmile17 wrote: »I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
If someone is asking for help, what other kind of advice would I offer than what has worked for me?
I am certainly opinionated. If someone finds that intimidating, that's their issue, not mine.
I've done hours and hours of reading, and research on weight loss. I feel pretty secure in my knowledge. If someone posts something about starvation mode, or spot reducing or why CICO isn't real, I'm going to speak up - because for every poster here, there are 100 lurkers who are trying to learn new things, too - and it's important that the correct information is out there. With knowledge comes success and I want everyone to be successful.
And it's not a matter of opinion - it's science and physics.0 -
Capt_Apollo wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
^^Yep, if you think this place is bad, stay away from forums on.
Parenting
Religion
Politics
Sports
Gaming
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Psulemon, I do report people who do explicit personal attacks, troll, etc, and yet every single day they're back insulting folks just because they think it's fun. It's the same five or so individuals every time. Nothing seems to be done about the problem regardless of reports.
People are looking for INFORMATION. Not insults, mockery, and playground bully behavior. The existence of boards with ruder people elsewhere is not a justification. People *would* actually learn to be civil if they had any incentive to.0 -
Psulemon, I do report people who do explicit personal attacks, troll, etc, and yet every single day they're back insulting folks just because they think it's fun. It's the same five or so individuals every time. Nothing seems to be done about the problem regardless of reports.
People are looking for INFORMATION. Not insults, mockery, and playground bully behavior. The existence of boards with ruder people elsewhere is not a justification. People *would* actually learn to be civil if they had any incentive to.
And if it's reported, the mods look at it. But again, just because a user thinks there is a violation, doesn't mean it is. So keep reporting and we will keep evaluating the situation. When people report a post, i will read the whole thread to understand context.
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Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.
I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.0 -
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I agree, with both paragraphs.Psulemon, I do report people who do explicit personal attacks, troll, etc, and yet every single day they're back insulting folks just because they think it's fun. It's the same five or so individuals every time. Nothing seems to be done about the problem regardless of reports.
People are looking for INFORMATION. Not insults, mockery, and playground bully behavior. The existence of boards with ruder people elsewhere is not a justification. People *would* actually learn to be civil if they had any incentive to.
Though INFORMATION (vs. misinformation) is in the eye of the beholder. But it's possible to post your opinion without attacking the character of the people with different opinions, or claiming that your opinion is the only correct opinion.
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llUndecidedll wrote: »Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.
I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.
They are words on a screen, 'tone' is in the mind of the reader.0 -
Hey, welcome to the internet
Don't spout Bro-Science and you'll be fine
My question is would you prefer the regular / oldies to allow people to advise you that you should eat more calories to lose weight or that starvation mode exists which are two oft-spouted pieces of advice that have no science to back them up - other than it's what people have heard
I am always telling people to eat more, lol.
Let's be real, people can be jerks here. People also give very good advice that people don't always want to listen to. Some folks post for help but get very defensive when it's actually given. It's usually a mixed bag. I try to put things kindly since who knows what the person on the other side is experiencing, and generally your words are more likely to be heard when you are patient and genuine. But it is definitely annoying to see pages of great advice and the person refusing to take it in or take personal responsibility.
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OP, you have to also consider that disagreement =/= attacking. If someone makes a claim, people are the right to question and ask for scientific support to back the claim.
Also, we are all noobs as some point, so being told we are wrong and being given proof is they only way you will learn.
If someone is actually an attack, then report it, but after modding this forum for several years, the majority of the time, the OP or other posters are just being sensitive.
And more important, encouraging people to do stuff that is just wrong (like a cleanse or detox) isn't going to benefit the OP or lurkers at all.
BAM!0 -
It's the internet.0
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llUndecidedll wrote: »Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.
I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.
I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.
I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.
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lthames0810 wrote: »llUndecidedll wrote: »Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.
I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.
I confess to having this guily pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.
I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.
It has for me too...
In fact, if all we do is support people regardless of how wrong they are, then we will never learn. Most of the science I have gathered is by saying dumb crap. I will admit that I used to believe in meal timing/frequency and you should drink 8 glasses a day. But until someone proved me wrong, I didn't know better. In fact, i tend to learn more from the crazy threads (sugar & low carb) then I do with most other threads... why... because they are extremes that tend to have a lot of controversial or emerging science.
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