All those asking and answeing questions
Replies
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Beyond the fact that you've conceded the CICO point that others routinely make ("Sure, it all boils down to energy balance"), you are the one referring to people in the very method you complain about ... you called them "arrogant", you call their posts "chidlish insults".
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WalkingAlong wrote: »
I have never seen a female moderator here, outside of the original sticky posts. The only moderators I ever see are ninerbuff and psulemon.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
Um....
kgeyser, Olivia (not a mod, but a power that be)...
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WalkingAlong wrote: »
I have never seen a female moderator here, outside of the original sticky posts. The only moderators I ever see are ninerbuff and psulemon.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
Rachel and Olivia come to mind....
just because you do not "see" something does not mean that it is not happening...
I was not aware that you had access to every single thread, and every single moderator, and every single warning that is given ....
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Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
This is the most report worthy thing I've seen on the forum recently.
Well done you! - get upset when receiving good advice or bad advice is called-out but throw sexism around the place
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WalkingAlong wrote: »
I have never seen a female moderator here, outside of the original sticky posts. The only moderators I ever see are ninerbuff and psulemon.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
Um....
kgeyser, Olivia (not a mod, but a power that be)...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028710/meet-our-community-team
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No qualms with correcting (as you see it) misinformation.It's important to clarify when someone spreads misinformation. And it's especially important to continuously point out when/how someone is logging incorrectly whey they ask why they are stalling/not seeing results, and claiming they ARE logging correctly. Many of these users unfortunately tend to disregard the comments about their poor logging.
This is just how forums tend to work in general. Not just MFP. If you can't be vocal and back up what you are saying, or at least can't ignore any potential offense thrown at you, then you're probably not going to work your way into the forum setting very effectively.
But yes, folks here are rude to the uneducated, new folks who are simply trying to learn. On a regular basis.0 -
mehSMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.0 -
Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
No qualms with correcting (as you see it) misinformation.It's important to clarify when someone spreads misinformation. And it's especially important to continuously point out when/how someone is logging incorrectly whey they ask why they are stalling/not seeing results, and claiming they ARE logging correctly. Many of these users unfortunately tend to disregard the comments about their poor logging.
This is just how forums tend to work in general. Not just MFP. If you can't be vocal and back up what you are saying, or at least can't ignore any potential offense thrown at you, then you're probably not going to work your way into the forum setting very effectively.
But yes, folks here are rude to the uneducated, new folks who are simply trying to learn. On a regular basis.
From what I see, most new folks get a lot of good answers with very little rudeness.
Every once in a while a post gets a lot of rude answers but usually it stems from a forum novice trying to have a "teaching" moment about something.
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WalkingAlong wrote: »
I have never seen a female moderator here, outside of the original sticky posts. The only moderators I ever see are ninerbuff and psulemon.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
I have seen them plenty. In fact, they are the most "active" in terms of enforcing policy0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
from new england as well..and agree ...
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herrspoons wrote: »SMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.
Except it isn't.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/*kitten*-slap
Pwned...
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herrspoons wrote: »SMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.
Except it isn't.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/*kitten*-slap
1990s: originally black English, referring to a woman hitting or haranguing her male partner.
*applauds*
Did not see that coming
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interesting thread. When people put wrong information up on forums that gives people the right to correct. Or we leave wrong information up and have something happen to whoever the OP of that thread is because they followed someone else wrong advice. That makes total sense to me.0
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herrspoons wrote: »SMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.
Except it isn't.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/*kitten*-slap
LOL. That's awesome.
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SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing
I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean 0 -
If you want kinder, gentler advice, that's fine. There's plenty to be had here. However, that style of communication doesn't work for everyone. It's unfair to ask that everyone present information only in the way you want to hear it. If I'm wrong, tell me. Give me the science and spare me the touchy-feely stuff. I respond better, I appreciate that approach and I would rather not waste my time hearing inaccurate information that's designed to soothe my feelings. There has to be room on a public forum for people who learn that way too.
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herrspoons wrote: »SMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.
Except it isn't.
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/*kitten*-slap
Pwned...
herrspoons-slapped?
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It's all subjective. You saw his comments as aggressive, I didn't. Comments you find negative someone else might see as being told the truth. On MFP too many of you guys think that people not agreeing with you or correcting you is negative, when it's not. It could be a result of when we were over weight many of us suffered from low self esteem and are very defensive or just that ego doesn't want to allow us to be corrected. It's time to let go of that.
The comments are both truthful and negative. People are telling the truth, but they tell it in an aggressive, hostile way. It's difficult for people who are unprepared for the hostility to not respond with hostility, which turns the conversation into a pissing contest rather than a thoughtful discussion about the issue.
^^^^ All of that, for me, is applicable for newbies only. I was shocked and angry when I first started posting. After a while (like, 30 posts in), when I saw how it worked, I stopped taking the hostility personally.
I do see people here who have 500 or 1000 posts and who are *still* taking it personally. That's crazy town, as far as I am concerned.
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SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean
NY/North Jersey here. We don't sugar coat things much, either.0 -
If you want kinder, gentler advice, that's fine. There's plenty to be had here. However, that style of communication doesn't work for everyone. It's unfair to ask that everyone present information only in the way you want to hear it. If I'm wrong, tell me. Give me the science and spare me the touchy-feely stuff. I respond better, I appreciate that approach and I would rather not waste my time hearing inaccurate information that's designed to soothe my feelings. There has to be room on a public forum for people who learn that way too.
except when you ask for the study the comeback is then "well MFP is not a scholarly site, and I do not have to prove anything..." LOL0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean
NY/North Jersey here. We don't sugar coat things much, either.
Well I'd hope not, don't you know sugar is the root of all evil
(Do you see what I did there?)0 -
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SingRunTing wrote: »brianpperkins wrote: »One can only put a limited amount of candy coating on a post that tells somebody that they are wrong, that they are lying to themselves with inaccurate or incomplete logging, what they are embarking upon (either the method or goal) is unhealthy, or that there is no logical or scientific basis for a course of action.
And this ^^
I'd rather someone be bluntly honest & helpful if I'm doing something wrong than cover me in rainbows & glitter & stickers and let me keep failing.
It's much kinder to help and offer knowledge so that they will succeed in their goals than to pat them on the head and let them get frustrated and give up.
I agree 100%.
Those blunt and honest people also seem to be the ones who are willing to take the time to look through someone's diary and ask more questions in order to give specific advice. I think that's a lot more supportive than giving out general advice like "shake up your exercise routine" that isn't going to do the OP any good.
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DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »It's all subjective. You saw his comments as aggressive, I didn't. Comments you find negative someone else might see as being told the truth. On MFP too many of you guys think that people not agreeing with you or correcting you is negative, when it's not. It could be a result of when we were over weight many of us suffered from low self esteem and are very defensive or just that ego doesn't want to allow us to be corrected. It's time to let go of that.
The comments are both truthful and negative. People are telling the truth, but they tell it in an aggressive, hostile way. It's difficult for people who are unprepared for the hostility to not respond with hostility, which turns the conversation into a pissing contest rather than a thoughtful discussion about the issue.
^^^^ All of that, for me, is applicable for newbies only. I was shocked and angry when I first started posting. After a while (like, 30 posts in), when I saw how it worked, I stopped taking the hostility personally.
I do see people here who have 500 or 1000 posts and who are *still* taking it personally. That's crazy town, as far as I am concerned.
So shows like this should be off the air right?
because of being mean right?
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SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean
i always assume when people say they're from New York, that they're from the city. i forget that there is a whole "upstate" part of New York.
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This content has been removed.
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SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean
NY/North Jersey here. We don't sugar coat things much, either.
Yeah, you guys are right. I'm just going off of what I've heard my whole life. But I would agree that the mindset would extend to NY/NJ. We just don't have time for other people's bullsh*t in the Northeast.
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SingRunTing wrote: »Of course there is also the cultural difference in this international site and the age difference amongst the users
Warning - major stereotypes coming up
I'm English, a lot of us have a tendency to self-deprecation and sarcasm; we tend to go for direct rather than touchy-feely
As for age, many of us were brought up in an age where we told to pull our socks up and just get on with it. The victim mentality is a new one for us eg it's always something or someone at fault,
I would find over-sentimentality and cheerleading from my countrymen shocking and probably more irritating than supportive, as I would assume they were patronising or taking the p!ss. However from Americans it's a cultural response and I accept that
But I still enjoy posters who are direct, intelligent and amusing . I have barked with laughter at some things people have posted, I thank them for the amusement factor ...I also note that these people are far more likely to get abuse flags
I'm from New England. We have a very similar reputation. The rest of the country finds us very standoffish and unfriendly (stereotyping of course).
It may be a Northeast thing I'm from NY- people assume I'm going to be mean
NY/North Jersey here. We don't sugar coat things much, either.
Well I'd hope not, don't you know sugar is the root of all evil
(Do you see what I did there?)
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This discussion has been closed.
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