All those asking and answeing questions
Replies
-
herrspoons wrote: »If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.
A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.
ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.
This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.
"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"
This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.
Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.
It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.0 -
NiceSmile17 wrote: »I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.
"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.
Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.
Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.
Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.
0 -
lthames0810 wrote: »
I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.
I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.
Yes! These forums have helped me so much. I was pretty ignorant when it came to diet and fitness. I understood CICO [Health 101, right?], but until I kept seeing people getting beat over the head with that term, I never really comprehended that at the end of the day-- nothing else mattered... Only your calorie expenditure and calorie intake. I lost about 30 lbs before joining this site, but I've been using these forums since day one of my weight loss journey. So, I have nothing but appreciation for all those who don't mind sharing their knowledge.0 -
herrspoons wrote: »
Being cuddly and nice is fine sometimes. Other times some folk just need a good old fashioned bi**h slap.
heh heh
0 -
There is tons of room for opinion. There are many, many ways to lose weight. Sure, it all boils down to energy balance but there are countless ways to effect that besides "count calories with a food scale and eat all foods in moderation (or else you're a misinformed idiot)", which is invariably what posts like your's and herrspoon's imply.SergeantSausage wrote: »NiceSmile17 wrote: »I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.
"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.
Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.
Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.
Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
lthames0810 wrote: »llUndecidedll wrote: »Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.
I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.
I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.
I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.
Agreed. I've learned so much from this, especially if people start posting links and articles. It has lead me to do my own research on certain topics which I think is more important than just reading a piece of information someone posts on a forum.0 -
DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.
A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.
ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.
This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.
"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"
This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.
Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.
It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.
It's all subjective. You saw his comments as aggressive, I didn't. Comments you find negative someone else might see as being told the truth. On MFP too many of you guys think that people not agreeing with you or correcting you is negative, when it's not. It could be a result of when we were over weight many of us suffered from low self esteem and are very defensive or just that ego doesn't want to allow us to be corrected. It's time to let go of that.herrspoons wrote: »DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.
A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.
ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.
This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.
"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"
This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.
Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.
It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.
You're right. I absolutely do not care about anyone's sensitivities. I've spent far too long working with stupid people who let 'dem feels' get in the way of good judgment, usually with disastrous effect, to have any patience with that approach.
The people who tend to get wound up about language are usually those with entrenched and, frankly, bizarre views. Well, good: if it exposes their bluster or makes them think outside their own narrow and incorrect point of view then that's a small victory for rationalism.
Being cuddly and nice is fine sometimes. Other times some folk just need a good old fashioned bi**h slap.
Then this post above, someone wants to flag it as abuse when it isn't breaking any rules. That is why the flag system doesn't work. People flag anything they don't like.
Exactly. I use the same "tone" I use at work. I am blunt, that is just my personality. If you find it so offensive perhaps you should look into why some strangers words on an Internet forum bother you so much.0 -
ahhh yes, the ol MFP if mean/bullying/not supportive thread..this should be fun..
OP - not sure what threads you are referring to ..
-
However, a lot of people post about cleanses, sugar is bad, carbs are bad, is this bad, junk food, etc, etc..and most of the disagreements come from people using pseudo science or just saying that is "bad"....which then leads to disagreement.
however, disagreement does not equally attack ...
and if someone wants to do a ten day cleanse, I am not going to be 100% supportive of it.0 -
It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.
There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) or call it out where you see it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »
There is tons of room for opinion. There are many, many ways to lose weight. Sure, it all boils down to energy balance but there are countless ways to effect that besides "count calories with a food scale and eat all foods in moderation (or else you're a misinformed idiot)", which is invariably what posts like your's and herrspoon's imply.SergeantSausage wrote: »NiceSmile17 wrote: »I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.
"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.
Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.
Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.
Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.
actually there is one way to lose weight ...CICO ..
this post is a perfect example of how things get off track on here..
0 -
DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.
A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.
ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.
This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.
"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"
This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.
Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.
It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.
But you're the one attaching those emotions to those words. That doesn't mean that was the intent, or that was how anyone else read it.
There can only be a flame war with two actively participating sides.0 -
Sure, it all boils down to energy balance but there are countless ways to effect that besides "count calories with a food scale and eat all foods in moderation (or else you're a misinformed idiot)", which is invariably what posts like your's and herrspoon's imply.
<sigh> ...
I don't just "imply" it - I quote it as immutable law.
... and yet folks still try to weasel out of the truth with a lifetime of pent up denial and ignorance.
0 -
This content has been removed.
-
Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
-1 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
0 -
herrspoons wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »
There is tons of room for opinion. There are many, many ways to lose weight. Sure, it all boils down to energy balance but there are countless ways to effect that besides "count calories with a food scale and eat all foods in moderation (or else you're a misinformed idiot)", which is invariably what posts like your's and herrspoon's imply.SergeantSausage wrote: »NiceSmile17 wrote: »I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.
There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.
"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.
Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.
Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.
Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.
Incorrect. There is precisely one way to lose weight - by consuming fewer calories than you use. There are a number ways of achieving this, some of which are proven, maintainable, and sensible, others which are, frankly, bats**t crazy, unsustainable, and make the whole process miserable.
I like to help people go down the former path, whether that's by a pat on the back or a boot up the butt.
All of this^^^0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
I chuckled at that, too.
A lot of the "mean people" on here are women. Also, a lot of the mods are women. How is it possible you don't know that after 4,000+ posts?0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
It's not any more an insult than calling someone arrogant, immature and childish..........
Stones and glass houses and all that.
0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Wouldn't calling people arrogant and childish also violate the same guideline? It seems like there's plenty of aggressive posts on both sides of this discussion, to me.
0 -
One can only put a limited amount of candy coating on a post that tells somebody that they are wrong, that they are lying to themselves with inaccurate or incomplete logging, what they are embarking upon (either the method or goal) is unhealthy, or that there is no logical or scientific basis for a course of action.
0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Unless he directly called someone out and said "Soandso, you need a b*tchslap", then its not an attack. Saying "some people just need some sense slapped into them" is not an attack or even what I would consider aggressive.
Also, a lot of the no nonsense posters are female, so not sure why you're trying to generalize by gender. That's actually insulting (oh the irony!).0 -
Capt_Apollo wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »It's worse here. There are civil, adult forums elsewhere, where people recognize that there is no one right way to do this.
A lot of the regulars here seem to be here mostly to proclaim their expert status and ridicule those who don't agree with them.
this is quite easily the tamest forum i've ever been on.
you want to see opinionated people, go to a parenting forum.
Or a politcal one
0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Wow, really?
Last time I checked, there's quite a few female moderators and/or "meanies".
Honestly, I find this post more offensive than any other post on this thread... and I'm female.
It doesn't matter what school of diet you want accepted... it all boils down to burning more calories than you take in. Whether that comes from low carb, high protein, IF, or what have you, it's STILL about how many calories are going in and going out.0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »One can only put a limited amount of candy coating on a post that tells somebody that they are wrong, that they are lying to themselves with inaccurate or incomplete logging, what they are embarking upon (either the method or goal) is unhealthy, or that there is no logical or scientific basis for a course of action.
And this ^^
I'd rather someone be bluntly honest & helpful if I'm doing something wrong than cover me in rainbows & glitter & stickers and let me keep failing.
It's much kinder to help and offer knowledge so that they will succeed in their goals than to pat them on the head and let them get frustrated and give up.0 -
I have never seen a female moderator here, outside of the original sticky posts. The only moderators I ever see are ninerbuff and psulemon.EvgeniZyntx wrote: »WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Lol, gender generalizations. Pretty insulting and ridiculous.
I do believe some of the most active moderators here to be women.
I'll leave it at that.
0 -
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
Wow, really?
Last time I checked, there's quite a few female moderators and/or "meanies".
Honestly, I find this post more offensive than any other post on this thread... and I'm female.
It doesn't matter what school of diet you want accepted... it all boils down to burning more calories than you take in. Whether that comes from low carb, high protein, IF, or what have you, it's STILL about how many calories are going in and going out.
You, you I like.
0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »brianpperkins wrote: »One can only put a limited amount of candy coating on a post that tells somebody that they are wrong, that they are lying to themselves with inaccurate or incomplete logging, what they are embarking upon (either the method or goal) is unhealthy, or that there is no logical or scientific basis for a course of action.
And this ^^
I'd rather someone be bluntly honest & helpful if I'm doing something wrong than cover me in rainbows & glitter & stickers and let me keep failing.
It's much kinder to help and offer knowledge so that they will succeed in their goals than to pat them on the head and let them get frustrated and give up.
100% agree. I would much rather someone tell me straight up than beat around the bush. I think that sometimes (not all the time) the bluntness gets misinterpreted as attacking.0 -
SMH - amazing how folks feel privileged enough to attack, mock, insult people - and then do not accept any responsibility for their behavior. Mis-information can be corrected without resorting to bullying. Speaking of gender, pause to consider where the term "b*tch-slap" came from and why anyone would think that the act is OK. Language is not harmless.0
-
WalkingAlong wrote: »Suggesting that some people need a "good old fashioned b*tch slap" isn't an insult? It doesn't violate this?
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger.
It's not 'hurt feelings' that people don't care for. It's the arrogant "my way is right, you're an idiot" stance. It's not mature discussion. It's childish insults.
It's even worse that the people who want mature discussion are mostly women and the "you're just too touchy feely, let me bit*ch-slap you with my truth" are mostly men, in this thread and often all over here. An active female moderator would be a welcome addition, especially one with some familiarity with and acceptance for various diet schools of thought, or that understands there is not one way to skin this cat.
last time I checked there are several female moderators..
so you are implying that MFP is a male driven, chauvinistic, forum???? got ya...
once again, you are wrong...0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions