All those asking and answeing questions

psuLemon

gothchiq wrote: »

Psulemon, I do report people who do explicit personal attacks, troll, etc, and yet every single day they're back insulting folks just because they think it's fun. It's the same five or so individuals every time. Nothing seems to be done about the problem regardless of reports.

People are looking for INFORMATION. Not insults, mockery, and playground bully behavior. The existence of boards with ruder people elsewhere is not a justification. People *would* actually learn to be civil if they had any incentive to.

And if it's reported, the mods look at it. But again, just because a user thinks there is a violation, doesn't mean it is. So keep reporting and we will keep evaluating the situation. When people report a post, i will read the whole thread to understand context.

llUndecidedll

Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.

I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.

WalkingAlong

gothchiq wrote: »

Psulemon, I do report people who do explicit personal attacks, troll, etc, and yet every single day they're back insulting folks just because they think it's fun. It's the same five or so individuals every time. Nothing seems to be done about the problem regardless of reports.

People are looking for INFORMATION. Not insults, mockery, and playground bully behavior. The existence of boards with ruder people elsewhere is not a justification. People *would* actually learn to be civil if they had any incentive to.

I agree, with both paragraphs.

Though INFORMATION (vs. misinformation) is in the eye of the beholder. But it's possible to post your opinion without attacking the character of the people with different opinions, or claiming that your opinion is the only correct opinion.

eric_sg61

llUndecidedll wrote: »

Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.

I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.

They are words on a screen, 'tone' is in the mind of the reader.

girlviernes

rabbitjb wrote: »

Hey, welcome to the internet

Don't spout Bro-Science and you'll be fine

My question is would you prefer the regular / oldies to allow people to advise you that you should eat more calories to lose weight or that starvation mode exists which are two oft-spouted pieces of advice that have no science to back them up - other than it's what people have heard

I am always telling people to eat more, lol.

Let's be real, people can be jerks here. People also give very good advice that people don't always want to listen to. Some folks post for help but get very defensive when it's actually given. It's usually a mixed bag. I try to put things kindly since who knows what the person on the other side is experiencing, and generally your words are more likely to be heard when you are patient and genuine. But it is definitely annoying to see pages of great advice and the person refusing to take it in or take personal responsibility.

Liftng4Lis

psulemon wrote: »

OP, you have to also consider that disagreement =/= attacking. If someone makes a claim, people are the right to question and ask for scientific support to back the claim.

Also, we are all noobs as some point, so being told we are wrong and being given proof is they only way you will learn.

If someone is actually an attack, then report it, but after modding this forum for several years, the majority of the time, the OP or other posters are just being sensitive.

And more important, encouraging people to do stuff that is just wrong (like a cleanse or detox) isn't going to benefit the OP or lurkers at all.

BAM!

Liftng4Lis

It's the internet.

lthames0810

llUndecidedll wrote: »

Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.

I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.

I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.

I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.

psuLemon

lthames0810 wrote: »

llUndecidedll wrote: »

Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.

I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.

I confess to having this guily pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.

I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.

It has for me too...

In fact, if all we do is support people regardless of how wrong they are, then we will never learn. Most of the science I have gathered is by saying dumb crap. I will admit that I used to believe in meal timing/frequency and you should drink 8 glasses a day. But until someone proved me wrong, I didn't know better. In fact, i tend to learn more from the crazy threads (sugar & low carb) then I do with most other threads... why... because they are extremes that tend to have a lot of controversial or emerging science.

DeWoSa

herrspoons wrote: »

If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.

A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.

ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.

This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.

"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"

This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.

Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.

It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.

SergeantSausage

NiceSmile17 wrote: »

I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.

There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.

"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.

Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.

Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.

Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.

llUndecidedll

lthames0810 wrote: »

I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.

I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.

Yes! These forums have helped me so much. I was pretty ignorant when it came to diet and fitness. I understood CICO [Health 101, right?], but until I kept seeing people getting beat over the head with that term, I never really comprehended that at the end of the day-- nothing else mattered... Only your calorie expenditure and calorie intake. I lost about 30 lbs before joining this site, but I've been using these forums since day one of my weight loss journey. So, I have nothing but appreciation for all those who don't mind sharing their knowledge.

DeWoSa

herrspoons wrote: »

Being cuddly and nice is fine sometimes. Other times some folk just need a good old fashioned bi**h slap.

heh heh

WalkingAlong

SergeantSausage wrote: »

NiceSmile17 wrote: »

I have read a few questions and response that people have written on here. It's really discouraging as a new user to ask a question or suggest a helpful answer. There are so many people that feel that they have the right answer and everyone else's is wrong. Let's just be helpful not rude as this is supposed to be a helpful source of information. What works or has worked for you does not make it the only way or the right way way for others. It is nice to hear what has worked for others and some people can take from many different ideas to make their own work for them. I hope everyone that uses this wonderful app finds it helpful and encouraging, not opinionated and intimidating.

There's not much room for "opinion" with weight loss.

"Opinion" is generally some combination of Myth, BroScience, Old Wives Tales, Superstition, FatLogic, Woo Woo and Grossly Negligent Misinformation.

Weight loss ain't Rocket Science - the fundamentals are well understood, and undeniable.

Those who naturally get this, or learn it along the way, are successful. Always.

Those who fight it and fall for all the "opinion" generally end up with an artificially shortened lifetime of hard times.

There is tons of room for opinion. There are many, many ways to lose weight. Sure, it all boils down to energy balance but there are countless ways to effect that besides "count calories with a food scale and eat all foods in moderation (or else you're a misinformed idiot)", which is invariably what posts like your's and herrspoon's imply.

arditarose

lthames0810 wrote: »

llUndecidedll wrote: »

Well, this forum is just like many others. I do appreciate those who are knowledgeable and helpful, though.... And like many other forums, most answers to most questions can be found by doing a simple search of this website or the internet in general.

I agree with you though. We could all be more mindful of the tones we use... But I must admit... I find some of the more unique users highly amusing.

I confess to having this guilty pleasure of spectating in the hopes that one of those "unique users" will participate.

I, for one, have greatly benefited from a forum thread where a poster was contradicted firmly about the necessity of eating a certain way (not going to open up that can of worms) in order to lose weight. It made all the difference for me and I would not have learned without that back and forth in this forum.

Agreed. I've learned so much from this, especially if people start posting links and articles. It has lead me to do my own research on certain topics which I think is more important than just reading a piece of information someone posts on a forum.

elphie754

MrM27 wrote: »

DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »

herrspoons wrote: »

If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.

A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.

ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.

This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.

"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"

This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.

Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.

It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.

It's all subjective. You saw his comments as aggressive, I didn't. Comments you find negative someone else might see as being told the truth. On MFP too many of you guys think that people not agreeing with you or correcting you is negative, when it's not. It could be a result of when we were over weight many of us suffered from low self esteem and are very defensive or just that ego doesn't want to allow us to be corrected. It's time to let go of that.

herrspoons wrote: »

DeirdreWoodwardSanders wrote: »

herrspoons wrote: »

If someone posts bulls**t then I don't care if they have one post or a million, I'm going to call them on it.

A lot of you would do better if you spent more time planning your success than worrying about your or others' feelings.

ETA: Or, indeed, getting upset over blunt views and hitting the flag button.

This post is a perfect example of what is most bothersome to me about a lot of responses on these forums.

"*kitten*", "I don't care", "I'm going to call them on it", "you'd do better if you spent more time", "worrying about your or others' feelings"

This is what those words convey: anger, lack of empathy, superiority, judgement, mockery.

Those words are chosen specifically to convey hostility and aggression.

It's a trap that gets set repeatedly on MFP -- a person posts some useful and true information, but they use such negative, aggressive words that they trigger a flame war.

You're right. I absolutely do not care about anyone's sensitivities. I've spent far too long working with stupid people who let 'dem feels' get in the way of good judgment, usually with disastrous effect, to have any patience with that approach.

The people who tend to get wound up about language are usually those with entrenched and, frankly, bizarre views. Well, good: if it exposes their bluster or makes them think outside their own narrow and incorrect point of view then that's a small victory for rationalism.

Being cuddly and nice is fine sometimes. Other times some folk just need a good old fashioned bi**h slap.

Then this post above, someone wants to flag it as abuse when it isn't breaking any rules. That is why the flag system doesn't work. People flag anything they don't like.

Exactly. I use the same "tone" I use at work. I am blunt, that is just my personality. If you find it so offensive perhaps you should look into why some strangers words on an Internet forum bother you so much.

ndj1979

ahhh yes, the ol MFP if mean/bullying/not supportive thread..this should be fun..

OP - not sure what threads you are referring to ..
-
However, a lot of people post about cleanses, sugar is bad, carbs are bad, is this bad, junk food, etc, etc..and most of the disagreements come from people using pseudo science or just saying that is "bad"....which then leads to disagreement.

however, disagreement does not equally attack ...

and if someone wants to do a ten day cleanse, I am not going to be 100% supportive of it.

diannethegeek

It's been my experience that every helpful poster on these forums, every single one, will be called rude, mean, negative, troll, bully, etc. at some point or another no matter how carefully they phrase their advice. Posts like this tend not to be very helpful. When every helpful poster is called out as mean at some point or another, then making a post like this without examples or qualifications just ends up pointing fingers at everyone.

There is some actual rudeness that goes above and beyond what should be acceptable here. Report it (use the actual report function not the flags) or call it out where you see it. But posts like this just add to the negative atmosphere that you're trying to combat instead of solving anything.