Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Children get baptized into the faith at 8, so that will be when the pressure might start from his family. Although if he's married 'outside' he might not be devout enough to be so bothered by this.
Yes, no alcohol and no caffiene. There's an old teaching called The Word of Wisdom which prohibits 'hot drinks' which is taken to mean tea and coffee and therefore caffiene. However, some people are a bit flexible on this and will drink Coke and Mountain Dew instead. Sounds like your SIL is in the former camp - he might appreciate another cold drink, or he may appreciate the chance to show off how righteous he is by declining all beverages. Some Mormons are like that.
Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***
The cross thing is correct, the cross is a symbol of Jesus's death, and they prefer to celebrate his life.
Ask anything else. I'm unoffendable (is that a word). I left the faith when I was 18 but remain interested because I still have many friends in it.
Very interesting - thank you! My son-in-law isn't as much into it as his parents are, but I did not know about the caffeine thing! Neither does my husband. I'll tell him tonight and I will have alternative drinks on hand for him.
So far, they are compromising as far as religion. They were married in a church, but it was non-denominational. My step-daughter was raised Catholic (by her mother) and had lots of crosses, but she doesn't have any in their house now. They have 2 small children, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. They did not baptize them in the Catholic church so I think they are just going to stay non-denominational.
8? Huh. You people on this thread are making me so smart! I'm just bursting with new knowledge every day! This is why I'm sad I cannot keep up with every post, but I'm trying.
Yeah, they weren't even really seriously dating when she suddenly found out she was pregnant. NOT what either one of them had planned. She was very upset and wanted time to figure out what to do, but HIS MOM took her son to go buy a ring and she proceeded to plan the engagement. Thankfully, in spite of things starting out that way, all has worked out well. They got married 6 months after their daughter was born and now have a 7 month old son. All of the families have gotten to know one another and we all get along and socialize regularly.
This is why I always say everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the plans we make for our own lives aren't what is meant to be.0 -
You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
She didn't think any of it was bad. She was saying that SHE wouldn't judge YOU.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »
Glad your 'team' is behind you. Is your sister even involved in Charlie's life?orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
No she isn't. She makes arrangements, but then fails to turn up. Or turns up and has no money to take him out, so wants to sit around my parents house all day. I refuse to allow her in my house.quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting...
) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Its not a usual thing here either. We'd have to jump through a lot hoops just to try and have this go through. Its mainly used in cases where the mother has severe learning/developmental issues and cannot understand the consequences of sex nor care for resulting children. We'd also have to prove undue burden on the state and us. And these applications are granted only very rarely.
I know there will be a lot of people silently judging me for saying it. Its not something I would normally advocate, but i don't know what other options there are
Absolutely no judgment here- I think I've mentioned it before but I work in child support enforcement..judge me all you want but there are TONS of people who shouldn't be allowed to reproduce and should be mandated to be "fixed".0 -
Yep, I can see how that'd do it.xMrBunglex wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
Speaking of stupid decisions, I confess that when I was 20 (way back in 1989...YIKES), I was living on my own for the first time. Cut all my rocker hair off & was bummed how fat I looked.
I then went on a crash diet that consisted of the following:
Breakfast: Can of Diet Coke
Morning Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (2 pieces of bread, 1 slice of deli turkey, 1 slice of deli swiss, mustard)
Afternoon Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Workout: 45-60 minutes on a cheap-*kitten* rowing machine I had in my apartment
Dinner: 6 pack of Bud Light tall boys
I was a chubby 210 lbs when I started, and a thin 165 after 4 months. From there I started weight training.
I'd get slaughtered for suggesting this in 2015, but....I lived to tell the tale
Edited to add: Just did the MFP calculator:
1100 in
497 out
BMR: 1,985
Daily Deficit: 1,382
that's about 3 lbs per week - the maths add up!
Oh god. I've never shared this one, but you've inspired me, lol. So I was 28 and weighed 112. I decided I "needed" to weigh 100 (ex-husband who always told me I looked out-of-shape + my tendencies toward being a perfectionist + coming from a family where I was the "smart one" but my mom and sister were models who just never thought I looked good + just general stupidity). My brilliant "diet"?
Breakfast: Coffee and a Ry-Krisp
Morning snack: Half an apple and a Diet Pepsi
Lunch: a slice of turkey, a slice of cheese, and the other half of the apple
Afternoon snack: Diet Pepsi and cocaine (yep)
Late afternoon: 2.5 hour workout: free weights, elliptical, and swimming
Dinner: Vegetable soup or a salad with no dressing, wine, and more cocaine
So yeah. I reached 100 pounds that way, but also spiraled into an increasingly crazy lifestyle until I simply decided enough was enough and did what I needed to do (which is another story I don't need to bore you with).
I am glad to step in and try to let MFP posters and others know that they don't NEED that latest fad diet or "diet aid". But I try to be at least somewhat gentle/compassionate because I know too well how insane we get when we're desperately trying to reach some stupidly unrealistic goal, are surrounded by ill-informed or toxic people, and have no clue about what real health really means.
Confession: My son was briefly on ADHD meds but he reacted badly to them. There's still about a month's supply in our medicine cabinet and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought more than once about taking them to see if they'd help me shift the last 10 lbs. It's basically speed.
oh my, I missed the cocaine part on that confession. Totally bypassed it when someone else had quoted it previously! I tried cocaine once, sniffed it (had a cold and basically sneezed it out) got a headache and went to bed. I don't like to do anything that is addicting, too afraid I'll get addicted! Never tried it again. I have heard that is how a lot of super models stay so thin!0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!
I've gotten almost too good and tuning out so I can read. I think it's a coping mechanism because I have SPD and too much noise freaks me out. Great idea having 3 kids, self! I can relate to feeling like your break was messed up though. I hope you can get some peace later. I still make my bigger kids have a quiet time some afternoons now that they don't nap. Any chance of that?
Hahaha! This is funny. I don't mean to make light of your SPD, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses and I'm guessing this gives you extra ability to understand your children and their individual needs.0 -
I think she was saying that no one would be judgey about your diary?You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
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quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting... ) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Oh, this, for sure. I REALLY wish they could enforce this here.0 -
But that's true, right?Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Oh yeah, and I like to make sure I have my ten gallon hat on right before I saddle up to head in to town.
I adored Texas when i was there a few years ago (we went to a lot of different tourist towns) and i so wanted a ten gallon hat, but they were over $100 dollars each!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
She didn't think any of it was bad. She was saying that SHE wouldn't judge YOU.
Ohhhh! I get it now thanks 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
You don't like tomatoes on your salad?Italian_Buju wrote: »
Exactly!rungirl1973 wrote: »
I love sweet/savoury together too. I also love hot and cold things together, which I know a lot of people think it weird (fries with salad, custard (English style) with a big blob of vanilla ice cream etc.riderfangal wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican
Alright, biscuits, then.
Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES!
Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.
I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!
Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/
I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."
I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.
My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.
I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.
No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though
I'm one of those weird people who like sweet and savory in the same dishes. I also like to add golden raisins to my vegetable salads. Just for a tiny sweet burst. I put them in my homemade applesauce, too.
Hot and cold? Hot fudge sundae or a warm brownie or piece of pie topped with ice cream. Yum!
Sweet and savory? I'm not a fan. I don't even like sweet dressing on my salad or fruit. Strawberries on a salad? No thank you, I'll have a salad and strawberries after for dessert.
I have never understood fruit on a veggie salad.....
Nope, sure don't. Cranberry, yes, tomato, no.
I pull all tomatoes out of my salad. And all food. I only like them in tomato sauce.
I sent back soft tacos at Taco Bell because they were loaded with tomatoes and asked for no tomatoes. I was cranky that day.
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pofoster21 wrote: »
Yep, I can see how that'd do it.xMrBunglex wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
Speaking of stupid decisions, I confess that when I was 20 (way back in 1989...YIKES), I was living on my own for the first time. Cut all my rocker hair off & was bummed how fat I looked.
I then went on a crash diet that consisted of the following:
Breakfast: Can of Diet Coke
Morning Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (2 pieces of bread, 1 slice of deli turkey, 1 slice of deli swiss, mustard)
Afternoon Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Workout: 45-60 minutes on a cheap-*kitten* rowing machine I had in my apartment
Dinner: 6 pack of Bud Light tall boys
I was a chubby 210 lbs when I started, and a thin 165 after 4 months. From there I started weight training.
I'd get slaughtered for suggesting this in 2015, but....I lived to tell the tale
Edited to add: Just did the MFP calculator:
1100 in
497 out
BMR: 1,985
Daily Deficit: 1,382
that's about 3 lbs per week - the maths add up!
Oh god. I've never shared this one, but you've inspired me, lol. So I was 28 and weighed 112. I decided I "needed" to weigh 100 (ex-husband who always told me I looked out-of-shape + my tendencies toward being a perfectionist + coming from a family where I was the "smart one" but my mom and sister were models who just never thought I looked good + just general stupidity). My brilliant "diet"?
Breakfast: Coffee and a Ry-Krisp
Morning snack: Half an apple and a Diet Pepsi
Lunch: a slice of turkey, a slice of cheese, and the other half of the apple
Afternoon snack: Diet Pepsi and cocaine (yep)
Late afternoon: 2.5 hour workout: free weights, elliptical, and swimming
Dinner: Vegetable soup or a salad with no dressing, wine, and more cocaine
So yeah. I reached 100 pounds that way, but also spiraled into an increasingly crazy lifestyle until I simply decided enough was enough and did what I needed to do (which is another story I don't need to bore you with).
I am glad to step in and try to let MFP posters and others know that they don't NEED that latest fad diet or "diet aid". But I try to be at least somewhat gentle/compassionate because I know too well how insane we get when we're desperately trying to reach some stupidly unrealistic goal, are surrounded by ill-informed or toxic people, and have no clue about what real health really means.
Confession: My son was briefly on ADHD meds but he reacted badly to them. There's still about a month's supply in our medicine cabinet and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought more than once about taking them to see if they'd help me shift the last 10 lbs. It's basically speed.
oh my, I missed the cocaine part on that confession. Totally bypassed it when someone else had quoted it previously! I tried cocaine once, sniffed it (had a cold and basically sneezed it out) got a headache and went to bed. I don't like to do anything that is addicting, too afraid I'll get addicted! Never tried it again. I have heard that is how a lot of super models stay so thin!
It's a serious appetite-killer apart from the stimulant stuff so I think that's why it has that reputation/popularity with models etc.
I've never been on THAT diet, haha, but the diet cola part, for sure. I got through university on black coffee, Coke Zero, and one meal a day.0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Me too! Current food obsession: Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal. I get so sad if I don't get to eat it every day, it feels like I missed something awesome.
Why... why would you tell me this exists? Or why was I not informed of this sooner?! Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal is literally all my (food) vices in one places. I need to find out how to make this ASAP.
My recipe:
30g jumbo wholegrain oats
15-20g peanut butter
5g pure unsweetened cocoa powder
1.5g salt (yes, it's necessary. No, it doesn't make it salty when you add sugar/sweetener. It just really brings out all the flavors.)
330 mL water (not milk. Milk completely kills the peanut butter flavor, oddly.)
Mix dry oats and cocoa, then add the salt and the water. Cook on the stove, covered, for twelve minutes on low heat (I use heat level 2 out of 10). It should be starting to bubble at the twelfth minute. Mix vigorously to get the starches all nicely distributed (so you won't get clumps of thicker oatmeal floating in soup...), then cover and cook an additional 3-5 minutes.
Scoop the peanut butter into the bottom of a bowl (don't cook it with the oats, it just tastes like burned peanuts...) and pour the oatmeal on top. Add sweetener of choice to taste. Enjoy. 0 -
I count my macros and the very first thing I enter is a bowl of icecream at the end of the day, the build my day around that. I eat based around icecream.
Right on high five! Ice cream should have it's own food group.
You should join the ice cream & gelato group!
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/22569-where-we-love-to-love-gelato-and-ice-cream
The only thing not allowed is talking about Arctic Zero or eating it:P.
Today I tried the Hershey Kisses Breyer Blasts & put it on a Joseph's pita that I had nuked in the microwave for 10 seconds so it would soften the Jif Nutella Cheesecake spread.0 -
You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
She was assuring you that nobody here is ALLOWED to judge your diary, not saying you were judgey. 0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »
Glad your 'team' is behind you. Is your sister even involved in Charlie's life?orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
No she isn't. She makes arrangements, but then fails to turn up. Or turns up and has no money to take him out, so wants to sit around my parents house all day. I refuse to allow her in my house.quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting... ) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Its not a usual thing here either. We'd have to jump through a lot hoops just to try and have this go through. Its mainly used in cases where the mother has severe learning/developmental issues and cannot understand the consequences of sex nor care for resulting children. We'd also have to prove undue burden on the state and us. And these applications are granted only very rarely.
I know there will be a lot of people silently judging me for saying it. Its not something I would normally advocate, but i don't know what other options there are
Good for you! I wouldn't allow her in my home, either.
Nope, no judgement here. As a matter of fact, there are those of us that wish it was an option. It's terrible that people who have children taken away can reproduce at will. So sad.0 -
Why do they do it to themselves? Talk about lamb to the slaughter...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10190983/quickest-way-to-loose-weight#latest
The thread already got nuked LOL & they could've at least spelled lose right:)).0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're having to take care of children that aren't yours because your sister can't be a responsible adult. I do agree with what Fran said though, are you just going to keep taking children your sister can't care for? That's no way to live. Enjoy your alone time and I wish you the best of luck and those babies ARE lucky to have you!
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Has anyone seen @noaddedsugarx around recently? Just thinking about her and her grandmother and hoping she's doing all right.0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
No, it's so interesting!!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
But that's true, right?Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Oh yeah, and I like to make sure I have my ten gallon hat on right before I saddle up to head in to town.
Makes me think of the Geico commercial. All the ladies in Texas have big... hair.
I gave up the big hair along with the '80's!! I never let my hair dresser do that to me. I hated the big hair thing.0
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