Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Jazzybrass wrote: »I finally found PB2 in a shop. I like making it up to a paste and eating it. I also like putting it with banana and yoghurt for breakfast
Just don't mix it with cottage cheese blech. That's one of the most vilest creations I ever thought to try. It's also pretty good on a rice cake.
I forget who mentioned Justin's peanut butters & today I bought a small snack size Almond Butter & Maple to compare to the MaraNatha at Giant today.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Especially @orangesmartie--your advice (to me and even to other posters) has been really helpful in "talking me off the cliff", so to speak. Also, Charlie is seriously adorable. Can I have him?
Heehee, sorry no, he's my lovely little boy and I seriously adore him, he is the centre of my world (and I hate children). I'm quite looking forward to my niece coming along too, when I ignore the financial and time pressures.
I talked to my mum about buying a new house so the kids can have their own rooms. My current flat is not up to 2 small children!
I hope you are feeling a bit better susie, it's so easy to get lost in the blackness. It then becomes all consuming and food is the only light. But really it just increases the darkness.
I can't say enough how much I admire you. I don't know many people who would step up to the plate the way you are. You are seriously awesome!!0 -
This past weekend I ate and ate when I wasn't hungry. I've been maintaining my weight loss for over 6 1/2 years and I still have problems with boredom. I no longer buy Peanut Butter because I'll eat the whole jar during the weekend; however, it doesn't matter what "little" is at my house I will binge on something and that is sad.
This thread is very helpful thanks for starting it.
Still awesome that you've maintained your weight loss for that long.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I haven't posted in here for a while. I've been feeling pretty down lately. I've been reading it all, though--Sadly there have been too many posts that needed attention that I didn't catch up on, so consider all of you in my thoughts.
I feel like such a loser. Ever since Ramadan started I've been fasting all day, then spending the night pigging out and eating TONS of food instead of worshipping or spending extra time in prayer. I have NEVER done this before, and I don't know what's wrong with me. I've probably gained even more over my recent 20-ish pound weight gain.
I feel worthless and out of control and like a fat pig. I don't really know what to do. Still trying, though.
Serious HUGS for you. I hope that you can get things under control. Just hang in there and take care of yourself!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10193905/is-this-healthy#latest
I've got a vegetarian who doesn't eat any vegetables over here.
I really, really wish that it was mandatory in all schools to have a whole class on nutrition and healthy foods/cooking for every single student. Maybe we'd see fewer teenagers thinking they need to eat 1000 calories a day to lose weight and who think that a diet of solely packaged white carbs is a healthy option. It's crazy to me.
Jillian on The Biggest Loser that had the three kids on called it "carb-etarian." I think that's an accurate description.
I am definitely not someone who thinks carbs are bad, but I also know that for most people, it's really hard to feel full and energetic and all that without protein and fat. And I know for me, 1200 calories of bread and pasta still leaves me starving, whereas 1200 calories of meat, seafood, eggs, and legumes with some oil and a bunch of vegetables (also carbs, yeah, but fibrous ones) means I'm not hungry at all. Anecdotal, but I think most people find the same thing.
Yeah, but if I add some whole grains I'll typically be fuller longer too. I admit I don't know how vegans do it, even 3 servings of veggies leave me bloated and gross.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Also hoping for you that this can be resolved. Maybe you both need to take a step back and let her do whatever she needs to do for a while, making it clear that you won't be walked over, but you do want her in your lives. I'm sure that the mother is poisonous and not helping things, but one day she'll figure things out for herself. I'm sorry that your husband is so hurt - he sounds like a lovely man who doesn't deserve to be treated like this.Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed.
(Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
What's the latest on the cat?
Thanks, @Tubbs216 . He IS a lovely man and he deserves better than this. That woman is poisonous and I'm glad he got away from her. He texted me earlier that he's going to try and talk to her because he was a little upset about yesterday.
Oh, the cat. We've been trying to keep her out of the room as much as possible, but then she tears up other things, like my couch or my husbands hands/legs/arms. I'm going to tell Husband tonight that she has until tomorrow to find a place for her cat, or I will. No more Mrs. Nice Mo.
I feel silly referring to my honey as "Husband", but I also think it's kind of cute. Maybe for future reference, I will refer to him as Mr. Mo. I like that because it reminds me of the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel get married in Vegas.
I actually call my husband that. Like, in person. "Huuusbaaaand, can you get me some water?"
He makes fun of me by calling me "Husband" right back, ever since I accidentally said "I'm not a woman!" in a play-argument we were having. (Long story. Seriously. It was an accident?
)
To everyone else... While I'd love to quote everyone, there are way too many of you sending kind words and thoughts, so I just wanted to say that I read every one of them and THANK you for thinking of me and for all of your encouragement; it means A LOT to me. Especially @orangesmartie--your advice (to me and even to other posters) has been really helpful in "talking me off the cliff", so to speak. Also, Charlie is seriously adorable. Can I have him?
I almost always refer to him as Honey, or Babe. When he's ignoring me, I call him by his name.
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CountessKitteh wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.
For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.
I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?
I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.
Here's hoping that she comes around!
Thanks & sorry, @CountessKitteh I too had a loser bio dad.
I want her to figure out what she wants, but I will not let her let my husband pay the emotional price (so to speak) while she does it. We are by no means forcing her to have a relationship with us if that's not what she wants, but I will also not continue to pay for her car while my husband is driving a truck older than all the people in this thread if she doesn't want to be a part of our lives. That sounds really heartless I'm sure, but I have to be honest.
That is a "classic" if it is older than me!
1963 Chevy pick up. Matte black with ghost flames and slammed. According to the insurance he's carrying, it's not supposed to be used as a daily driver, so don't tell anyone.
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http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10193905/is-this-healthy#latest
I've got a vegetarian who doesn't eat any vegetables over here.
I really, really wish that it was mandatory in all schools to have a whole class on nutrition and healthy foods/cooking for every single student. Maybe we'd see fewer teenagers thinking they need to eat 1000 calories a day to lose weight and who think that a diet of solely packaged white carbs is a healthy option. It's crazy to me.
I know someone like this in RL. She eats cheese, fries, and that's about it. I've never seen her touch a fruit or vegetable.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »I tried Breyers Gelato and cant say I was overly impressed. it was Raspberry Cheesecake. Now I wish I had got the cappuccino flavor cuz I love coffee ice cream. Is Breyers a poor representation of Gelato? Should I try the Talenti or is that brand about the same? I hate to waste cals on a so-so treat.
Blech. I thought it was a total waste of calories. I tried the same one as you, and haven't gone back to try others.
Confession: I don't think Talenti is that great... (don't hurt me!)
I would agree. I wish I had tried a different flavor. I woke up at like 5am with a stomach ache, too. Now I am scared to buy more and they also turn out to be a waste (or even worse, a gut grenade). I might try Talenti down the road but it will have to be under a severe moment of weakness.
You could always make your own ice cream, sorbet, or gelato.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »I tried Breyers Gelato and cant say I was overly impressed. it was Raspberry Cheesecake. Now I wish I had got the cappuccino flavor cuz I love coffee ice cream. Is Breyers a poor representation of Gelato? Should I try the Talenti or is that brand about the same? I hate to waste cals on a so-so treat.
Blech. I thought it was a total waste of calories. I tried the same one as you, and haven't gone back to try others.
Confession: I don't think Talenti is that great... (don't hurt me!)
I would agree. I wish I had tried a different flavor. I woke up at like 5am with a stomach ache, too. Now I am scared to buy more and they also turn out to be a waste (or even worse, a gut grenade). I might try Talenti down the road but it will have to be under a severe moment of weakness.
You could always make your own ice cream, sorbet, or gelato.0 -
I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
For us, the problem is what I've told him for years: we have three people in our relationship - me, him, and his EGO. Tired of dealing with the ego stuff. Didn't expect someone 10 1/2 years older than me to still have ego and maturity issues. But, it's not all him, of course. I've changed in the past 15 years. I don't complain about or talk about my marriage to anyone IRL, so in the spirit of the thread I just decided to take advantage of it and do a little personal whining.
Thank you for asking. How are YOU? I've been thinking about you and your situation as well.
Sorry that you are going through that. Maybe it's just me but I don't think some guys ever grow out of their ego (sorry guys-it's just my personal observation, I know not everyone is the same).
I'm okay. My boyfriend did come over last night and we talked. I asked him a bunch of questions and he gave me what I believe are honest answers and said he still wants to do counseling. We got along pretty well. I just hope he is actually HEARING what I'm saying.
Not that it is an excuse but his dad died a few years ago and I don't think he's been the same since. I really do think he is suffering from depression. He has a lot less patience and seems angry at the world, withdrawn, wants to sleep a lot etc. From what I read, that seems like depression. I told him he should get some individual help as well.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I know you hate people apologising for asking you questions, @Susieq_1994, but I only do because I feel like that stereotypical ignorant privileged white girl, and I don't want to offend.
So...there is that - robe, I'm sorry, I don't know the word for it - the long black one with the head and face covering. But it gets to 60C in Oman, right? So, um...how do the women not die of heatstroke?
That's alright, it doesn't offend me!
It's called an abaya, and most of them don't cover the head or face--They're basically just black dresses. I wear one myself. The headscarf and niqab (face covering) are all separate pieces. There is one that has a head covering attached as well, but these are mostly worn by older ladies, as it's just an older style.
That said, I wear the abaya and headscarf. I don't find it hot, personally--I actually find it cooler than when I wear "regular" clothing like skirts and blouses because the abaya tends to be very lightweight. It's also because I've been covering for a very long time--If I didn't cover, I'd probably feel hotter due to the sun burning my skin!
My sister wears a niqab, and according to her, it did feel very hot in the first week, but she says it doesn't feel like that anymore now that she's used to it.
Just an add-on: The abaya isn't a must, Islamically. Women are encouraged not to wear very bright colors for the purpose of attracting men (yes, men have a rule that involves not attracting women--it isn't a sexist rule), but you're allowed to wear whatever color you like, as long as you're covered properly.
I prefer the abaya in Saudi Arabia because everyone wears it (I've seen like... two people so far that didn't... Even the non-Muslims wear it!) and I just don't want to stand out. In Oman, I often wear regular colored dresses, skirts, blouses, etc. Unless I'm lazy. Because the abaya is really easy to just throw on and be done.
Can I ask some follow ups? You say your sister wears a niqab; was that something she decided to do as an adult? And how did she come to that decision? And are you wearing your regular clothes under the abaya? Or is it like a "dress".
Thanks for educating me!
Yes, she decided to start wearing it two years ago. Nobody else in our family wears it and she's unmarried, so nobody influenced her in that decision--in Islam there are some scholars (I refuse to count the Sheikh Google people...) who believe the niqab is obligatory, and others who believe it is simply recommended based on evidence from the Qur'an and hadith. After doing some studying, my sister chose to go with the scholars who believe it's obligatory, and began covering her face from then on.
You do have to wear clothing under an abaya--it's basically a cover, but the material is too thin to wear with nothing but underwear underneath, for example. I usually wear jeans and a tank top underneath it--since we have to remain covered, it's best to have your legs covered in case the wind blows it up, for example. But I would wear the same under a dress, actually, although I would probably wear cotton pants underneath in that case.
Oh, can I ask if you have one of these? I've always wondered if it was hard to swim in the modest suits, because of the extra fabric:
Nope, I don't own one--those suits actually don't meet the fardh (obligatory) requirements for modest clothing for women, especially because they cling when they're wet, and the shape of the body is revealed, which is the major requirement of covering.
If I'm going to swim, I swim in an all-women's facility with a modest swimsuit (even women aren't supposed to reveal nakedness to other women) or just jump into the ocean fully clothed because that's fun. ;)
I'm not even totally caught up, but I am SO GLAD you opened up to us here @Susieq_1994 and are giving us all this info, both about your culture and your own personal self. I just gotta let it out: This girl *kitten* rocks!
Same goes for a lot of our regulars: @MoHousdon @Italian_Buju (BTW we are testing some AWESOME stuff here at my facility regarding diabetes, might be while before human clinical trials though.) @BZAH10 @pofoster21 @quiksylver296 @FrancI27 (I hope that's the right one) Sorry if I forgot some peeps! I love this thread so much. I think I love this thread more than I love guacamole.... and that's REALLY saying something.
You, I like. I have been known to make a quick and dirty quacamole (diced avocado, halved grape tomatoes, some salt/garlic/lime juice) for breakfast.
I have never tried guacamole.....or avocado actually....
I keep trying to will myself to like avocado but I can't. It is gross! Bleurgh.
Add me to the avocado aversion side. My sister keeps telling me I will like them if I just keep trying but not gonna happen. Why would I waste calories on something I don't even like?
I tried avocado on my Subway sandwich the one day & imo it tasted like nothing just blah/bland.0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed. (Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.
For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.
I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?
I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.
Here's hoping that she comes around!
Thanks & sorry, @CountessKitteh I too had a loser bio dad.
I want her to figure out what she wants, but I will not let her let my husband pay the emotional price (so to speak) while she does it. We are by no means forcing her to have a relationship with us if that's not what she wants, but I will also not continue to pay for her car while my husband is driving a truck older than all the people in this thread if she doesn't want to be a part of our lives. That sounds really heartless I'm sure, but I have to be honest.
That is a "classic" if it is older than me!
1963 Chevy pick up. Matte black with ghost flames and slammed. According to the insurance he's carrying, it's not supposed to be used as a daily driver, so don't tell anyone.
Same age as me then... so yes.. a classic for sure.
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I fell off the "diet wagon" after losing 82 pounds and now I am finding it hard to stick to any form of weight loss.0
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Wow glad you're okay @KylerJaye !!
Me too!!0 -
Sorry I've been MIA friends, I've been busy at work and was on the go all weekend. I'm also super hungry right now... eating everything in sight! Should still be under goal for the day, assuming I eat the dinner that I have planned out.
BTW- thanks to whoever in this thread clued me into the Fiber One lemon bars. They are delicious. Now I just need some self-control so that I don't gobble them all down during TOM this week. Yikes!
Welcome back!0 -
Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!
Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.
Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'.
I am guilty of the above infraction and I apologize. I've tried several times to delete anything I'm not personally responding to or do multiple responses in once reply, but I often screw it up and have to start all over again.
The way I read this, I could never keep it straight trying to do everyone into one post. Especially when I miss a whole day or more...too much to catch up on. I can start to try and delete some stuff, etc. but it hard to parse through stuff and delete.
To be honest, I like the full quote, so as I read backwards, I know what I am looking for and can skip the originals if I already read it, or find the original I wanted to reply to and reply to it. I would rather not stop doing that.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!
Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.
Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'.
I am guilty of the above infraction and I apologize. I've tried several times to delete anything I'm not personally responding to or do multiple responses in once reply, but I often screw it up and have to start all over again.
The way I read this, I could never keep it straight trying to do everyone into one post. Especially when I miss a whole day or more...too much to catch up on. I can start to try and delete some stuff, etc. but it hard to parse through stuff and delete.
To be honest, I like the full quote, so as I read backwards, I know what I am looking for and can skip the originals if I already read it, or find the original I wanted to reply to and reply to it. I would rather not stop doing that.
*raises hand* me too.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Oh wow I totally missed this, thanks for posting @caitwn!
Glad you like it! I think part of the issue with missing posts here isn't so much that the thread is busy (though that's part of it), but it's more that when folks respond, they tend to quote the ENTIRE POST they are replying to, including lengthy blocks of text and/or images and photos. It doesn't take long to burn through multiple pages that way, and bury other new posts in the process.
Another issue on message boards like this one is when people respond with a separate post to every person they are replying to, rather than combining responses in a single post, with individual callouts like "@LBuerhle38, thanks for that feedback!", followed by individual call-outs to others you're replying to. Honestly, handling responses that way is an expectation on a lot of boards because it's considered to be courteous to other posters. I haven't really pushed the issue here because I know nobody is deliberately trying to bury new posts or to 'drown out' other posts with pages of repeated big photos/blocks of text. But it is maybe worth taking a second to think about before hitting that 'quote' + 'reply'.
I am guilty of the above infraction and I apologize. I've tried several times to delete anything I'm not personally responding to or do multiple responses in once reply, but I often screw it up and have to start all over again.
The way I read this, I could never keep it straight trying to do everyone into one post. Especially when I miss a whole day or more...too much to catch up on. I can start to try and delete some stuff, etc. but it hard to parse through stuff and delete.
To be honest, I like the full quote, so as I read backwards, I know what I am looking for and can skip the originals if I already read it, or find the original I wanted to reply to and reply to it. I would rather not stop doing that.
*raises hand* me too.
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