Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
Um well my thought is no she shouldn't do that. They're divorced for a reason. Put mom with some of her own relatives and seat you and dad with other friends/relatives. SO's daughter sounds very immature to me.0 -
Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I would think it's very inappropriate and they should not be seated together. We did not seat my husband's parents together at our wedding, they've been divorced for over 20 years.
I think your SO should be the one to protest it, though.0 -
Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.0
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Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
Normal wedding etiquette is to have divorced parents together during the ceremony if it is a church and they are on good terms, and then separate them for seating for the reception, unless the bride/groom will not have a separate table to themselves (that is, if bride/groom will be sitting with parents, then together is appropriate). It's also appropriate for parents to politely decline attending the wedding if the divorcee attending would be problematic.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »47 degrees celsius. NEVER. AGAIN. My EVERYTHING was burning. Oh my GOD, the heat.)
I do not know how you do this. When it tops 40 here I turn into a kind of floppy melted flop, lying on my couch with the air-con roaring. I can't imagine whopping on another 7 degrees.
On the plus side, I'm all
imagining how fast my washing would dry in such heat.
I had no idea how hot that is. Wow.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
No problem dissent is good for the soul (friendly dissent).
I read that as "dessert is good for the soul"
Well it may be!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
No problem dissent is good for the soul (friendly dissent).
I read that as "dessert is good for the soul"
Wish that were true... then every time I wanted a brownie sundae I could blame it on my soul's needs...
I like your thinking!0 -
Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
Um well my thought is no she shouldn't do that. They're divorced for a reason. Put mom with some of her own relatives and seat you and dad with other friends/relatives. SO's daughter sounds very immature to me.
SO says that it's only within the last couple of years that he could even stand being in the same room as the ex so, yeah, they're divorced for a reason. Daughter is used to getting her way.rungirl1973 wrote: »Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I would think it's very inappropriate and they should not be seated together. We did not seat my husband's parents together at our wedding, they've been divorced for over 20 years.
I think your SO should be the one to protest it, though.
Definitely he's the one who needs to put his foot down, I just wasn't sure if I was in the right to push the issue with him.Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
No harsher than my prevailing thought: "Life can be awkward sometimes. Deal with it."
I don't know if it's her carrying the Happy Family fantasy, or if she just wants to present that appearance to onlookers.Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
Normal wedding etiquette is to have divorced parents together during the ceremony if it is a church and they are on good terms, and then separate them for seating for the reception, unless the bride/groom will not have a separate table to themselves (that is, if bride/groom will be sitting with parents, then together is appropriate). It's also appropriate for parents to politely decline attending the wedding if the divorcee attending would be problematic.
It's not a church wedding and they're not on particularly good terms.
I have no idea what kind of arrangement they're having for the head table, if parents will be seated there or not. Groom's mother is a widow and has no current partner, so it's going to be a bit lopsided anyway.
So if the divorced parents are seated together, where do their spouses sit?0 -
If they're at the same table, they shouldn't be next to each other... it would be more like... ex, ex+1, you, SO, daughter, husband, his parents. In the case of no plus 1, you'd be stuck next to her, normally. If the bride and groom do the traditional way, they'd sit at a table in front of the rest of the room while you and SO were at a table separate from ex.So if the divorced parents are seated together, where do their spouses sit?0 -
Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
In short no!! Completely unacceptable. You are completely in the right to protest that. And your SO should be completely on board with that.
I can't even articulate how wrong and unacceptable that is. If you are old enough to be getting married then you should be adult enough to realize that your parents are no longer together and accept their new relationships even if it's hard.0 -
My sister is getting married next month and she actually has to do assigned tables to ensure her SO's parents are nowhere each other.
But now I've read the rest of the comments please make your other half put his foot down. You should never be relegated to sitting by yourself at all at that wedding. (Unless you want to bring me as your own+1)
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Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
When my sister got married, like 20 years ago, our mother and her father and step-mother sat at different tables. And they got along just fine, so there actually would not have been a HUGE issue to sit together. It just made more sense to sit them with people they associated with often. My father (which was obviously my sister's step father) had already passed away, but that would not have made a difference.0 -
@ythannah Honestly, I would talk with your SO's daughter. There is nothing "awkward" about having you and your SO's ex attending the same events. See if you can find a middle ground.
Together for the ceremony and separate for the reception is generally what I see in situations like this.
Maybe get your SO's ex in the conversation as well. Most divorcees will come together and work to agree if there is a benefit to consensus for their children.
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So, my mother is FINALLY back from the Dallas area and is home with us. She came home Friday night and I worked so I went to work with the intention of coming home Saturday morning and having one glass of wine with my frittata and heading to bed (nightshift worker). Well my mother poured me another glass of wine and I stayed up until about 10am with her before heading to bed... after FOUR glasses of wine.
I fell asleep but not before sending an unfortunate text to SSP.....
Thus far he's ignoring it and I'm content with that. If we could just pretend it never even happened that would be AWESOME.
But I don't think it is likely something he will forget and I hate that my inhibitions lowered after only 20 ounces of wine over the course of 3 hours...
It's a mushy embarrassing text and I am afraid he will run away screaming. It's only been like 3 months... I would run away screaming...I want to run away screaming FOR him...I just want to buy a big tub of The Great Divide Blue Bell Ice Cream and eat the WHOLE thing.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »So, my mother is FINALLY back from the Dallas area and is home with us. She came home Friday night and I worked so I went to work with the intention of coming home Saturday morning and having one glass of wine with my frittata and heading to bed (nightshift worker). Well my mother poured me another glass of wine and I stayed up until about 10am with her before heading to bed... after FOUR glasses of wine.
I fell asleep but not before sending an unfortunate text to SSP.....
Thus far he's ignoring it and I'm content with that. If we could just pretend it never even happened that would be AWESOME.
But I don't think it is likely something he will forget and I hate that my inhibitions lowered after only 20 ounces of wine over the course of 3 hours...
It's a mushy embarrassing text and I am afraid he will run away screaming. It's only been like 3 months... I would run away screaming...I want to run away screaming FOR him...I just want to buy a big tub of The Great Divide Blue Bell Ice Cream and eat the WHOLE thing.
What did it say? Could you send another like oops wine talking?0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »So, my mother is FINALLY back from the Dallas area and is home with us. She came home Friday night and I worked so I went to work with the intention of coming home Saturday morning and having one glass of wine with my frittata and heading to bed (nightshift worker). Well my mother poured me another glass of wine and I stayed up until about 10am with her before heading to bed... after FOUR glasses of wine.
I fell asleep but not before sending an unfortunate text to SSP.....
Thus far he's ignoring it and I'm content with that. If we could just pretend it never even happened that would be AWESOME.
But I don't think it is likely something he will forget and I hate that my inhibitions lowered after only 20 ounces of wine over the course of 3 hours...
It's a mushy embarrassing text and I am afraid he will run away screaming. It's only been like 3 months... I would run away screaming...I want to run away screaming FOR him...I just want to buy a big tub of The Great Divide Blue Bell Ice Cream and eat the WHOLE thing.
You know you have to tell us what is said now0 -
Morning Nicci!0
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Morning 0
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Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
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@orangesmartie....I said...the "L" word.....
I am mortified. BUT to this point, he has chosen to ignore it altogether and texted me about what an idiot one of our coworkers is.
ETA: I did send him a text that said "Immediately after that text, I passed out. Because that's what you call falling asleep after 4+ glasses of wine"0
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