Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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*post date update*
second date for first date #22!
the lawyer guy. total stoner hippie dude.
fun to hang out with, we'll probably chill a few more times, but that's pretty much it.
he's not looking for anything remotely serious. and that's ok.
honestly? he's super hot (which boggles my mind why he's hanging out with my pudgy butt), so i'm pretty ok with just having a lil fun here and there
whenever i think of us hanging out, this instantly pops into my head:
Stop that! You are an awesome person, and his beauty is only skin deep.
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*post date update*
second date for first date #22!
the lawyer guy. total stoner hippie dude.
fun to hang out with, we'll probably chill a few more times, but that's pretty much it.
he's not looking for anything remotely serious. and that's ok.
honestly? he's super hot (which boggles my mind why he's hanging out with my pudgy butt), so i'm pretty ok with just having a lil fun here and there
whenever i think of us hanging out, this instantly pops into my head:
The stoner part would preclude anything remotely serious for me... and did at one point in time... except my super hot (and considerably younger!) "fun here and there" stoner guy was an airplane mechanic, lol.
Yes, it was a little unsettling to think of a fella with a daily pot habit repairing planes.
And clearly there is more to you than a pudgy butt, young lady!
Oh yeah. When I was 30, I was involved for a short time with a 22 year old stoner. He was also a hottie, but the pot habit just wasn't my thing. He called me several years later and asked if I'd be interested in getting together. Nope. What's done is done.0 -
vinegar_husbands wrote: »Alright... I don't post here often, but here's something that's been bothering. Like, a lot. I've talked about it here and there, but I only have so little tolerance for *kitten*.
My dad might as well have a PhD in broscience. He labels a lot of perfectly good foods as "unhealthy" and believes that not all calories are the same. Now, he's in pretty good shape, but he's always been a yo-yoer. At 6'0" and 205lbs, I'd estimate him around 12-13% BF. He's been as high as 300, but no lower than 205lbs since junior high.
And don't even get me started on my extended family... They food police and body shame. They falsely perceive themselves as smaller than they actually are. Most of them are well over the BMI's definition of obese, mind you. My mom is long gone, but did the same. She also took her health advice from Dr. Mercola and did coffee enemas on a regular basis.
For an example, one of his major "problem foods" is bananas. Why? Because they don't fit his definition of paleo and are on the higher side of the glycemic index. Nevermind the fact that they're high in potassium and provide plenty of fiber. (Oh, and I can name several things that he eats on a daily basis that are nowhere close to paleo.)
To avoid his hearing his usual lecture on what's "unhealthy" and what's not, I went without bananas for about two years. Yup, two full years of not eating bananas. They've never been my favorite fruit, so I was okay with not eating them for so long. Eventually, I just got sick of it and I decided to buy a bag of these.
I ate the entire bag. I made it fit my macros and calorie limit, so why not? They were delicious, chewy, and filling. Apparently, that was still a problem for him and he went on and on about how I should just have them as a "treat" and not all calories are equal and I'll get super fat. EVIL FAT FAT FATTY FAT!
Like, can I just eat my bananas in peace?
I've had to deal with enough food restrictions from my mother. I can't even start on how many things that I wasn't allowed to eat until she passed away. (My GP thinks it's the reason why I developed so many food allergies.) I was severely deficient in Vitamin D, iron, and protein as a result of her ridiculously restrictive diet that she had me on since I was a baby. And I had to eat carob instead of chocolate.
Oh, and I decided to start maintaining my weight last week. I'm actually a little bit below my goal weight. This was my dad's response...
"Well, don't go below 85lbs. I think you could maintain around, like... 88, 92lbs?"
I said I wanted to maintain my weight, not lose! I decided to look up a similar BMI to what 85lbs at my height would look like... Not going there. At. All. I have a 22" waist already, for Christ's sake!
Another thing that he did recently that kinda bothered me, but wasn't as bad (in my opinion)... We met a Lyft driver that lost 225lbs and got in several vegan magazines and whatnot. My dad decided to bring this up with our hairdresser, who I think is around a size 18/20. I've seen magnets up for "It Works" wraps at the place, and I know that she would like to lose weight. She has the new fitness gadgets and everything. I can't help but feel that it's kind of rude to bring it up, like it's sending off the message that she should lose weight, y'know...?
Oddly enough, he doesn't lecture me for eating coconut milk ice cream on a daily basis. In fact, he outright praises it for being "healthy". Blah... I just don't know why he feels that he should "help" me stay accountable. I've tried talking to him about it, but he only gets super defensive.
tl;dr: food police
I grew up in a household like that. Well maybe not the carob thing, but seriously intrusive and bossy.
My dad would bring pamphlets of fat farms and diets. I learned to tune him out. It got easier when I got my own place. I wasn't particulary fat when I was young
For several years not the people at work started asking me what I was eating. I'm not sure why this was important to them. Strange thing they always marvel how healthy I eat.
It use to make me cringe when people asked me to tell them what was eating, It does not bother me anymore.
Hang in there0 -
He's going out with you @KylerJaye because you are SUPER GREAT!! I'm sure you're so much prettier than you're giving yourself credit for!! Go post pictures of you in the batcave
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I'm honestly a little sad about my weight loss. I know that probably sounds 100% insane, but my bras are all starting to become way too big. A bra that I've had for quite some time and was beginning to fill out nicely is now too large in the cups. It was my smallest bra, and I really don't want to go buy more because that will make me even more sad. I hate parting with money, though do enjoy shopping. I'm not a fan of used bras/underwear/socks, though will usually go for used pants/shirts. Still not a small enough size where I could go without, and IMO my chest looks a lot less saggy and weird, so that's always good.
Awe don't be sad.
You do know you are worth it even if you don't like spending the money. Please do enjoy your victories.0 -
I'm honestly a little sad about my weight loss. I know that probably sounds 100% insane, but my bras are all starting to become way too big. A bra that I've had for quite some time and was beginning to fill out nicely is now too large in the cups. It was my smallest bra, and I really don't want to go buy more because that will make me even more sad. I hate parting with money, though do enjoy shopping. I'm not a fan of used bras/underwear/socks, though will usually go for used pants/shirts. Still not a small enough size where I could go without, and IMO my chest looks a lot less saggy and weird, so that's always good.
Clothes shopping is always fun except when the thrift stores charge crazy amounts for used clothes or they don't have anything cute in your size.0 -
There were muffins left in the lunch room. They weren't very big and one had chocolate chips on top so I couldn't resist - but I only took half. Bit into it - not chocolate chip.
The top was banana bread (not even good banana bread) and the bottom was just flavorless "cake". I ate the chocolate chips and threw the rest out. To get even with the stupid muffin I ate the top of the other half just to get the chocolate and threw the rest of it out too. 0 -
Oh wow, I never even thought to check there!I'm honestly a little sad about my weight loss. I know that probably sounds 100% insane, but my bras are all starting to become way too big. A bra that I've had for quite some time and was beginning to fill out nicely is now too large in the cups. It was my smallest bra, and I really don't want to go buy more because that will make me even more sad. I hate parting with money, though do enjoy shopping. I'm not a fan of used bras/underwear/socks, though will usually go for used pants/shirts. Still not a small enough size where I could go without, and IMO my chest looks a lot less saggy and weird, so that's always good.
when i had to downsize the bras, i went directly to the target clearance section. pop in once a week, grab one or two here and there, and they're super cheap. i wait until the clearance price drops to between $3-$6. pretty guilt free at that point!
Chin up @ejb060793 ! You can use this as an opportunity to check out some of the discount shops around your area. There's one around here called Falles Parades that I go nuts over. I bought a pair of boots last winter for around $15 or $16, a few sports bras for around $3 (and a zipper bra for $4), and all sorts of other goodies.
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@vinegar_husbands Ugg, my dad is also horrible when it comes to my weight and eating habits. Growing up as an overweight little thing, he would constantly try putting me on diets and exercise. He would often threaten to take me to the doctors because I was terrified of being diagnosed with diabetes. He used to regularly call me "gorda", or fatty, and still uses that nickname every now and then. My mom is pretty into broscience, but at least she is more concerned about my overall health and not my appearance.0
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There were muffins left in the lunch room. They weren't very big and one had chocolate chips on top so I couldn't resist - but I only took half. Bit into it - not chocolate chip. The top was banana bread (not even good banana bread) and the bottom was just flavorless "cake". I ate the chocolate chips and threw the rest out. To get even with the stupid muffin I ate the top of the other half just to get the chocolate and threw the rest of it out too.
Hahahha nice muffin revenge 0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »I just ate a handful of chili lime peanuts and they were so hot I am breaking a sweat.
They sound great though!0 -
vinegar_husbands wrote: »Alright... I don't post here often, but here's something that's been bothering. Like, a lot. I've talked about it here and there, but I only have so little tolerance for *kitten*.
My dad might as well have a PhD in broscience. He labels a lot of perfectly good foods as "unhealthy" and believes that not all calories are the same. Now, he's in pretty good shape, but he's always been a yo-yoer. At 6'0" and 205lbs, I'd estimate him around 12-13% BF. He's been as high as 300, but no lower than 205lbs since junior high.
And don't even get me started on my extended family... They food police and body shame. They falsely perceive themselves as smaller than they actually are. Most of them are well over the BMI's definition of obese, mind you. My mom is long gone, but did the same. She also took her health advice from Dr. Mercola and did coffee enemas on a regular basis.
For an example, one of his major "problem foods" is bananas. Why? Because they don't fit his definition of paleo and are on the higher side of the glycemic index. Nevermind the fact that they're high in potassium and provide plenty of fiber. (Oh, and I can name several things that he eats on a daily basis that are nowhere close to paleo.)
To avoid his hearing his usual lecture on what's "unhealthy" and what's not, I went without bananas for about two years. Yup, two full years of not eating bananas. They've never been my favorite fruit, so I was okay with not eating them for so long. Eventually, I just got sick of it and I decided to buy a bag of these.
I ate the entire bag. I made it fit my macros and calorie limit, so why not? They were delicious, chewy, and filling. Apparently, that was still a problem for him and he went on and on about how I should just have them as a "treat" and not all calories are equal and I'll get super fat. EVIL FAT FAT FATTY FAT!
Like, can I just eat my bananas in peace?
I've had to deal with enough food restrictions from my mother. I can't even start on how many things that I wasn't allowed to eat until she passed away. (My GP thinks it's the reason why I developed so many food allergies.) I was severely deficient in Vitamin D, iron, and protein as a result of her ridiculously restrictive diet that she had me on since I was a baby. And I had to eat carob instead of chocolate.
Oh, and I decided to start maintaining my weight last week. I'm actually a little bit below my goal weight. This was my dad's response...
"Well, don't go below 85lbs. I think you could maintain around, like... 88, 92lbs?"
I said I wanted to maintain my weight, not lose! I decided to look up a similar BMI to what 85lbs at my height would look like... Not going there. At. All. I have a 22" waist already, for Christ's sake!
Another thing that he did recently that kinda bothered me, but wasn't as bad (in my opinion)... We met a Lyft driver that lost 225lbs and got in several vegan magazines and whatnot. My dad decided to bring this up with our hairdresser, who I think is around a size 18/20. I've seen magnets up for "It Works" wraps at the place, and I know that she would like to lose weight. She has the new fitness gadgets and everything. I can't help but feel that it's kind of rude to bring it up, like it's sending off the message that she should lose weight, y'know...?
Oddly enough, he doesn't lecture me for eating coconut milk ice cream on a daily basis. In fact, he outright praises it for being "healthy". Blah... I just don't know why he feels that he should "help" me stay accountable. I've tried talking to him about it, but he only gets super defensive.
tl;dr: food police
Do you think a lot of your dad's thoughts on weight loss, food, etc. are from your mom's previous behaviors related to food?
Just curious I know you're allergic to cashews & dairy from a lot of your reviews, but what else are you allergic too? Are you allergic to any meats or are you vegan for ethical reasons?
I know in the beginning of my weight loss efforts everyone would comment on my foods "good" or "bad", but now everyone knows I eat what I want. I still wouldn't care what they thought even if they did make comments though.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »I just ate a handful of chili lime peanuts and they were so hot I am breaking a sweat.
They sound great though!
They were delicious! I'm willing to sweat for these nuts. LMAO0 -
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He's going out with you @KylerJaye because you are SUPER GREAT!! I'm sure you're so much prettier than you're giving yourself credit for!! Go post pictures of you in the batcave
Yes. Super great!0 -
To answer the question of why my medicine changed, the strattera helped, but the side effects were worse than how much it helped. As in, it completely changed my mood, to the point I couldn't stand myself. When I say I was the "wicked witch of the west", that's still an understatement. My doctor told me if it had any kind of effect like that, we would have to try something else. She wanted to go through the non-amphetamines (which apparently there are only two medications under that category) before going for the "hard stuff" like adderall/Ritalin/etc. Well, I might as well be taking sugar pills as far as effectiveness goes with the intuniv.0
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There were muffins left in the lunch room. They weren't very big and one had chocolate chips on top so I couldn't resist - but I only took half. Bit into it - not chocolate chip. The top was banana bread (not even good banana bread) and the bottom was just flavorless "cake". I ate the chocolate chips and threw the rest out. To get even with the stupid muffin I ate the top of the other half just to get the chocolate and threw the rest of it out too.
Its soooo disappointing when you think you are getting something tasty and get something less than ordinary.
good ant getting the best out of the situation. Now I want chocolate chips.0 -
This morning at work there was a car crash victim that came in. He had minor injuries, but the other driver was a fatality at the scene. His mental health was definitely worse off than his physical health. I checked when I got home and no information had been released, not even the fact that a driver was killed. I looked a little while ago and they said that there is an ongoing investigation and criminal charges could be filed. I'm not sure I understand why though, since the guys BAC was 0, and the other driver swerved into his lane. I hate having more knowledge available to me than what is generally available to the public, since the paper almost makes it sound like this poor guy who was rocking back and forth on a stretcher going "omg he's dead" is some sort of monster 0
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vinegar_husbands wrote: »@kellyjellybellyjelly I never thought of that, but it's definitely possible. He didn't quite get into health and fitness related stuff until he was much older. He was very into it back in high school and read book after book on nutrition, but he was also a wrestler and made it to state championship (which he unfortunately did not win and kinda fell off the wagon after that). I guess he just decided to get back into it about five years ago.
Blue No. 2, pistachios, raspberries, and skullcap (an herb lol). I've tested positive for other things, but I don't care about confirming them just yet. The whole process of confirming it is super time consuming and miserable if you never consumed the food by accident.
Edit: And I'm vegan for ethical reasons. No issues with meat ever, not even with digesting it. I got the Vitamin D, iron, and protein thing fixed up later on and now average 80g per day. I was first found to be as deficient in those vitamins when I was about 7, which is loooong before I became a vegan. I had a bunch of bloodwork and doctor's visits done around that age because I was passing out and some other things going on.
are you saying you are averaging 80 mg protein a day? If so could you give me some tips on what you eat to get it?0 -
This morning at work there was a car crash victim that came in. He had minor injuries, but the other driver was a fatality at the scene. His mental health was definitely worse off than his physical health. I checked when I got home and no information had been released, not even the fact that a driver was killed. I looked a little while ago and they said that there is an ongoing investigation and criminal charges could be filed. I'm not sure I understand why though, since the guys BAC was 0, and the other driver swerved into his lane. I hate having more knowledge available to me than what is generally available to the public, since the paper almost makes it sound like this poor guy who was rocking back and forth on a stretcher going "omg he's dead" is some sort of monster
That's terribly sad, but that's the media for you. Heck, according to the media, I'M some sort of monster. Putting things in the worst possible way gets a lot more views and sells more. I feel bad for that poor man.0 -
I just can't help but think that he's going to read that at some point, or see it on the news, and feel even worse than he already does. The doctor I was working with says that he entirely blames himself, even though it was in no way his fault (she was driving to work when it happened and saw all of it, said that the other driver's vehicle burst into flames on impact.. they were both going about 50 mph, which was the speed limit). He was even wearing a seat belt, got out, and tried to do everything in his power to put out the flames and help the guy (too late even before he got out, but he did make an effort). I don't know, I feel like, if I were in his situation and I was reading the news articles, I'd probably feel like *kitten*, and possibly even become depressed/suicidal. The comments are pretty nasty, about how he was probably drunk/high and going too fast, should have stayed in his own lane (which he was, and the news never bothered to mention...).0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »This morning at work there was a car crash victim that came in. He had minor injuries, but the other driver was a fatality at the scene. His mental health was definitely worse off than his physical health. I checked when I got home and no information had been released, not even the fact that a driver was killed. I looked a little while ago and they said that there is an ongoing investigation and criminal charges could be filed. I'm not sure I understand why though, since the guys BAC was 0, and the other driver swerved into his lane. I hate having more knowledge available to me than what is generally available to the public, since the paper almost makes it sound like this poor guy who was rocking back and forth on a stretcher going "omg he's dead" is some sort of monster
That's terribly sad, but that's the media for you. Heck, according to the media, I'M some sort of monster. Putting things in the worst possible way gets a lot more views and sells more. I feel bad for that poor man.
You mean you're not the monster of this thread posting about how you make all of these delicious baked goods and then force your poor defenseless husband to eat them?!
The media is into biasing everything and portraying things in the worst possible light. I try my best to not limit myself to one perspective when it comes to the news and the media.0 -
So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.0 -
You're very smart @lilaclovebird ! I have no doubt you'll find someone perfect for you who sparks your interest, we all will! (Those of us who aren't married0
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lilaclovebird wrote: »So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.
Hey seriously why rush into another relationship. Focus on yourself for a while.
I really am confused by all the rushing intro next relationships. I guess I am such a loner this confuses me. Why not enjoy some me time. Do things you like. Then maybe you'll find someone with similar interests.
But I am an odd ball.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.
Hey seriously why rush into another relationship. Focus on yourself for a while.
I really am confused by all the rushing intro next relationships. I guess I am such a loner this confuses me. Why not enjoy some me time. Do things you like. Then maybe you'll find someone with similar interests.
But I am an odd ball.
If you are an odd ball so am I cause I feel the same way.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.
Hey seriously why rush into another relationship. Focus on yourself for a while.
I really am confused by all the rushing intro next relationships. I guess I am such a loner this confuses me. Why not enjoy some me time. Do things you like. Then maybe you'll find someone with similar interests.
But I am an odd ball.
I've done both before so I can relate. Sometimes it's just nice feeling like you have a partner and someone who can care for and love you like no one else can. I hope this makes sense but it's hard to explain! Especially after just getting out of a relationship you don't want to lose those feelings
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.
Hey seriously why rush into another relationship. Focus on yourself for a while.
I really am confused by all the rushing intro next relationships. I guess I am such a loner this confuses me. Why not enjoy some me time. Do things you like. Then maybe you'll find someone with similar interests.
But I am an odd ball.
I get that. There is also something nice about realizing that you have lots of options. Still, focusing on yourself is always a good choice. Hugs0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »So..here we go.
First Date #1:
I met this guy Jason before, we worked at Lowe's together and he always offered to buy me lunch, which I declined but thought it was always kinda of sweet. He's about average in the looks department, not too stunning but not unattractive.
He suggested we meet at the movie theater which is more like an event center, it has bowling, mini golf, a billiards room, and a bar. He says he will meet me there at 6:30pm on Thursday. Okay.
I show up at about 6:20pm, and sit at the bar. NSV humble brag: I have SAVED calories for this date and I only went over goal by 11!
Anyway, I set out to have 2 drinks on this date, 3 MAX. I order a vodka cranberry and commence waiting. I'm chatting with the bartender, talking to the other patrons, I glance at the clock and it is now 7pm. Uhm....am I getting stood up?! I shoot him a text, no response. The bartender, Ashley, feels bad and offers me a shot of tequila on the house. I said sure and started picking out which movie I was going to go see by myself.
He FINALLY shows up at 7:15. Points off for being hella late.
He sits down, apologizes and says he got held up after class and then traffic was a mess. He goes to school IN DOWNTOWN AUSTIN and his class is over at 6pm and he honestly expected to be able to meet me in Bastrop by 6:30pm. It's a 30-45 minute drive into Austin ON A GOOD DAY! Points off for being a little dumb.
He orders a Bud Light and I make a noise of disgust because I do not like Bud Light and the bartender starts making fun because my first choice of beverage was going to be a slightly warm Shiner(Not my first choice but it was the best they had to offer and I'm picky about my beer).
I ask him a bit about school and he talks about how he's going into graphic design for video games and he has a mock interview scheduled for one of his classes with some executives from big gaming companies to get some pointers on getting a job and maybe be offered an internship. I ask him if he has a portfolio of his work to present and he looked at me all dumb struck. Points off for being REALLY dumb.
He has not saved/kept track of ANY of his work from school or stuff he makes/designs for fun to present to a potential employer to demonstrate his skills.
Now, I'm also trying to see his positive attributes. He seems driven, he seems respectful of my personal space, he is offering to pay for my drinks, he isn't talking bad about his ex, he is polite, and is doing okay making eye contact.
I finish my first drink by 8-ish and order a second one and he offers to pay for it, I politely decline and then he offers to buy us a burger. You had me at burger. I'm totally down. We share a burger, all the while he is talking about his cats, his dog, a little about his son, and a little about his ex(I brought up the topic to see any potential red flags there).
As the 'bar' is closing down we close out our tabs and he walks me to my car. It's at about this point that I realize I've asked him about himself and he's told me, but not ONCE did he ask me a question about myself. It's as if he's not interested in me as an actual person. Then the compliments start falling out about how I look great, how losing weight must have been really difficult, and how funny and sweet I am, and then he asks me if I would like to follow him back to his place. Uhm...no.
Then he suggests a second date maybe in a couple of weeks at the firing range. I said I would have to see what my schedule looks like and get back to him. He give me a hug, we part, and I open my car door and drive away.
He finally replied to my text and I told him what @nonoelmo suggested and I have had no further contact.
The whole experience left me feeling kind of empty I guess. I had to sit myself down and journal out some feelings because for a bit I felt like I just wasn't attracted to him physically and that's why I was saying no to the second date. The reality was, he just didn't interest me.
I think I will just focus back on myself, my work, my home, and my family.
I've rearranged my bedroom and I'm definitely feeling some new perspective coming on and I may have FINALLY picked out a career for myself. Now for the education part.
ETA: TL;DR version: Went on a date, dude wasn't blowing me out of the water, went home and decided it's best for me to ignore the whole dating thing until a later time in my life.
Yes there is no reason to continue to date someone that doesn't make you happy.
When I was young I wasn't much for dating. I just had fun with friends and enjoyed myself.
I would not know what to do these days.
I have been married many years.
Wish you well on your adventures wether they are alone or with someone0
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