Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I have read and caught up and am thinking of each one on this thread. I'm heading to bed as I have to be up 4:00 for the race.
Before I forget.
Every room in my house is tile. I put it in and did some rooms entirely on my own. I have been in this house since 2007. I just got a steam mop
It is awesome. I just found out about them. Game changer.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Just to illustrate how weird I am, this morning on my run I had a stretch of 3 songs that went like this:
Sold (Grundy County Auction) by John Michael Montgomery
Still Not A Player by Big Punisher
Thunder Kiss '65 by White Zombie
I also think this dates me a little.
Please don't judge that I haven't figured out how to use the shuffle on my iPhone
Totally sounds like my playlist. Sold by JMM, then Adrenaline by Shinedown, then maybe Bad by Michael Jackson.
Catching up.
And I may only be 26 but your music is right up my ally guys!
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Okay so my train COMPLETELY derailed on Wednesday. I got totally drunk at Sgt. SP's house and that was bunch of unnecessary calories. Top that off with a hangover trip to McDonald's where I put away 2 double cheese burgers at about 500 calories each and a medium fry.
Thursday rolled around and I got told I had to work because Mr. Diabetes who was quitting, called out sick his last two days. Train was back on track though and I weighed myself today and I'm at 187.5 from 189 on the 30th but I'm reluctant to believe it right now. I'm gonna give it a couple more days.
So today:
I DEMOLISHED the step and exercise goals because I took the dog for a 50 minute walk this morning.
50 minutes of exercise
Over 21,000 steps total today
Drank TONS of water
Stayed within my calories(even managed to eat some cheese even though I'm not supposed to)
And I went to the bookstore with my mama!
For the 4th!
- I work a 12 hours shift 7pm-7am so hopefully I'll stay within 100 calories of my goal
- At least 10,000 steps again
- Drink at least 8, 8 oz. glasses of water
- Get 20 minutes of exercise in(cut it down to compensate for the 12 hour shift)
- Get at LEAST 6 hours of sleep and limit my coffee to two cups.
Wish me luck guys!
BTW I LOVE this thread SO MUCH! I might share a baby pic of me when I get back to the house, but for now it's all work!0 -
Well, that's a good start to the weekend, at least! What's the weather likely to be like for your climb?orangesmartie wrote: »Safely arrived in Glasgow. We haven't killed each other yet
It forecast rain, hail and thunderstorms
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Despite a totally "meh" day for me, I've managed to meet most of my goals for the day.
- I got out of bed. (Kind of... Around 5 PM. Does it still count?)
- I did 45 minutes on my stationary bike.
- I prepared food for iftar (we did go out for dinner though... Does THAT still count?)
- I drank plenty of water, the full 8 cups I usually aim for.
- I'm quite a bit under my calories, though, so that one isn't a win.
In addition, I climbed (and descended) 36 flights of stairs, 18 up and 18 down; I also went for a nice long mall walk, but I still have no idea how long that mall is... If I had to guess, I'd say it's around 2 km, if not more.
So today is a pretty big win overall, at least goal-wise. Moodwise, I'm feeling weird. I wouldn't say I'm really depressed, more like... robotic and numb. :-/ It stinks. But hey, at least I got a few things done, right?
Getting up counts no matter what time. Plus you did stairs and a walk! Maybe today you are like me. Just not that hungry.
I hope you feel better tomorrow!!
As I told my husband earlier today, for the last week or so I've had complete apathy towards food in general. I just don't feel like eating most of the time, even after breaking my fast. I'd probably be perfectly fine with eating a couple of dates and drinking some water, then just eating nothing. :-/ I'm not sure why, or whether my recent drop into depression might have something to do with it.
I might go back and fill up those calories with something later--I generally do go by my weekly net, but I log extra calories in the days that have empty slots rather than in the day I actually ate them... I'm weird that way.
I've done that before too. When I had the stomach bug a few years ago (it was around Thanksgiving) I didn't eat much the one day & then ended up pigging out on Thanksgiving & just looked at it as extra bonus calories.0 -
I believe it is. Is it in your family?kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Thanks to everyone for the kind words.
This is why when people that were not around when my mother was alive (as in people I met afterwards), are sometimes shocked when I tell them the years she has been dead have been the most peaceful years of my life. When I tell them a few stories they kind of understand, those that knew her, have always understood.
I am glad she was never able to poison my son the way she did me. Because believe me when I say that is not the only terrible thing she did to me, it was just the last, as she died several months after that.
Sometimes I tell my DR that I get frustrated with myself because of how much my OCD tends to limit me, and she always tells me to be thankful I am as good as I am, because I could just be a drug addict or something, given what I have been through. She always says she is amazed I actually do not suffer from some sort of depression.
My sister and I get on well, and I am excited to see her. She truly understands how I feel. She is a very big business woman, a strong leader etc, and my BIL told me once years ago, that even a phone call from my mother would disturb her sleep for several nights.
I made sure that I did not follow in my mother's footsteps, and when I had children of my own, I could not understand how she behaved the way she did. I would kill someone if they did to my children some of the things my own mother did to me, like literally murder them.
Ok, enough of this downer crap.
@Susieq_1994 - you are rocking it today! Good Stuff!!
@rungirl1973 - yeah I do not understand why parents want to divide their children. My daughter is adopted (as I have mentioned), and because I could not have more than one bio child, I have explained to her how important it is to me that they continue to be close,, even after I am gone. Also, glad your test went good!
@crosbylee - hope you have a great sunny weekend! I can't wait to go swimming! Pools opened last week but I have not had time yet!
@ythannah - I remember you saying you had a crappy home life too, I totally understand.....thankfully you were able to get out when you did!
@xLoveLikeWinterx - I ask myself that question all the time....I told my sister our mother could have just eaten us when we were young like an animal and saved us a lot of grief!
@quiksylver296 - I was wondering where you were...glad to see you on today! Good Stuff on the lifting!
I am feeling much better today than yesterday and the last few days.....I did not make it to the gym because I slept like crap and had a few too many things to do today before my sister gets here tomorrow, but I am gonna make it a bigger priority. I got a call this morning that my kitchen floor is finally being replaced on Monday, and while it causes me stress in the moment, it really needs replacing so I am thrilled.
I reworked my budget for this month so that I am able to give my son a good chunk of money towards another bike. While the whole situation just burns my *kitten* and I could use the money for other things, I really want to help him out so I am glad I was able to do that. Hopefully going to pick one up this weekend so he doesn't have to walk much longer......he is walking to work right now and it is so hot outside and it makes me feel sad for him, esp having just bought that bike last week.
Next week my boss is off work, so I am gonna be working extra again, but told her yesterday to be careful not to over load me because I am on edge.
Hopefully I do not get too far behind in the next week or so.....cuz I do not think I could skip and jump back in....I am WAY too bother by things like that.....I will not watch a TV series if I miss a single episode, or even a movie if I miss the first few minutes.....everything I do has to be in order....call it OCD
But even if I get behind and it takes me a few days to catch up I will just read along as I go, as long as you guys don't mind me adding my two cents on situations well after they are posted about!
I will be back on and off today, and tomorrow before my sister comes, but if that puts me behind, after the busy weekend and work week I have coming up, it might take me until this time next week to be back on track here, esp if I am gonna make sure I get my gym time in!!
I love you guys! A lot of you have truly touch my heart!
P.S. - Shrimp is delicious!!!!
I am so glad for you for many of the items in this post and for how well you've emerged on the other end. And trust me I get the OCD I couldn't skip either no matter how long it took me to catch up.
I'll confess that I have OCD. I wonder if OCD is hereditary?
In some form or another.
My mom told me my Grandfather every time he would go down this particular hallway he would have to rub his foot on a certain spot.
My one uncle & my mom are very particular about their stuff & have said they'll know if anything is out of place. My uncle's cooler for Christmas the one year was so organized that he had everything in neat piles. Usually coolers are so disorganized you have to dig for whatever you want.
Mine is mostly in my head for the most part & revolves around counting stuff.0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
And more coming from a little further west, too. I know it's already tomorrow where you are, so I hope today is a good day. Celebrate those days.Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
Thank you both. Hugs and support very much appreciated. I sure hope today will be better than yesterday.
That said, today's goals are:
- 30+ minutes of exercise.
- Climb at least 6 flights of stairs. (3 up, 3 down)
- Meet my calorie goal as closely as I can.
- Drink a minimum of 8 cups of water.
- Finish up the laundry, which I didn't touch yesterday.0 -
What moron decided a 1/2 cup of ice cream should be a serving size?! It is an abomination! It is an affront to the ice cream fairy! It is an insult to the ice cream man (who, by the way, my husband has trained to park at the end of our driveway)!
The FDA, I believe.
I usually save calories for at least 1.5 servings, though. 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
And more coming from a little further west, too. I know it's already tomorrow where you are, so I hope today is a good day. Celebrate those days.Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
Thank you both. Hugs and support very much appreciated. I sure hope today will be better than yesterday.
That said, today's goals are:
- 30+ minutes of exercise.
- Climb at least 6 flights of stairs. (3 up, 3 down)
- Meet my calorie goal as closely as I can.
- Drink a minimum of 8 cups of water.
- Finish up the laundry, which I didn't touch yesterday.
You got this. Regardless of how you might be feeling, you are a strong powerful woman of the new millennium!0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »
Well, that's a good start to the weekend, at least! What's the weather likely to be like for your climb?orangesmartie wrote: »Safely arrived in Glasgow. We haven't killed each other yet
It forecast rain, hail and thunderstorms
Ouch, too bad! 0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
And more coming from a little further west, too. I know it's already tomorrow where you are, so I hope today is a good day. Celebrate those days.Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
Thank you both. Hugs and support very much appreciated. I sure hope today will be better than yesterday.
That said, today's goals are:
- 30+ minutes of exercise.
- Climb at least 6 flights of stairs. (3 up, 3 down)
- Meet my calorie goal as closely as I can.
- Drink a minimum of 8 cups of water.
- Finish up the laundry, which I didn't touch yesterday.
You got this. Regardless of how you might be feeling, you are a strong powerful woman of the new millennium!
I sure don't feel like it... :-/ But thank you! I'll do my best regardless. 0 -
I have read and caught up and am thinking of each one on this thread. I'm heading to bed as I have to be up 4:00 for the race.
Before I forget.
Every room in my house is tile. I put it in and did some rooms entirely on my own. I have been in this house since 2007. I just got a steam mop It is awesome. I just found out about them. Game changer.
Good Luck!!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
And more coming from a little further west, too. I know it's already tomorrow where you are, so I hope today is a good day. Celebrate those days.Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: I've been trying SO HARD lately to smother this depression that's been at my throat for quite a while now, and it's been so impossible no matter what I do. Exercise, keeping busy, housework, reading, prayer... Nothing seems to help for more than an hour or so. I'm so frustrated about it right now, and I just want to cry and give up--dealing with depression is a horrible, horrible thing.
I had a great day today after getting up. I kept the house tidy, made dinner, had a nice outing and dinner with my husband, did my stairs and even got in a walk. Each time, it's a bit like my happiness meter would bounce up a little, then slowly just drain back down to nothing again. Trying to pull myself out of this funk and attempting to "fake it till I make it" is sucking me dry of energy, and I just... Don't know what to do anymore. I only got out of bed a few hours ago, but I want to go and curl up into a ball under the covers and just stay there forever...
Sorry to be such a downer, but I just felt like I needed to get it out. I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way.
I am so sorry you are feeling that way! And I really wish I could help you.
Can you feel hugs and support for you coming all the way from the middle of Canada? Because I'm sending them.
That's all I got. But we're here for you when you need to let it out somewhere.
Thank you both. Hugs and support very much appreciated. I sure hope today will be better than yesterday.
That said, today's goals are:
- 30+ minutes of exercise.
- Climb at least 6 flights of stairs. (3 up, 3 down)
- Meet my calorie goal as closely as I can.
- Drink a minimum of 8 cups of water.
- Finish up the laundry, which I didn't touch yesterday.
You can do it! One day at a time!0 -
@nonoelmo good luck on your race!0
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orangesmartie wrote: »
Well, that's a good start to the weekend, at least! What's the weather likely to be like for your climb?orangesmartie wrote: »Safely arrived in Glasgow. We haven't killed each other yet
It forecast rain, hail and thunderstorms
That only mean more great war stories to tell later! And you can usec that great cherry pink jacket and water proof gloves!0 -
I have read and caught up and am thinking of each one on this thread. I'm heading to bed as I have to be up 4:00 for the race.
Before I forget.
Every room in my house is tile. I put it in and did some rooms entirely on my own. I have been in this house since 2007. I just got a steam mop It is awesome. I just found out about them. Game changer.
Have a great run!0 -
Today my goals are:
10,000 steps
Eat my calories or very close to them
Get my housework done so I can go to work tomorrow morning for a few hours.0 -
@orangesmartie I hope the nasty weather held off and you got to see a beautiful sunrise.0
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Italian_Buju wrote: »Had a good visit with my sister and her family, and my sister's friend and her family. Dinner was great and then my sister and I walked to the bowling alley to get our steps in, meeting everyone else that came by car.
She got here super late, but we had a good time anyway.
Now I just have to get through breakfast with my sister and family and my SO without stabbing him with my fork.....
He was just getting into town tonight, so only my kids and I saw the family today, so we are meeting up so she can see him before heading out.
And I now have FOUR BOXES of peanut butter captain crunch!
So glad you had a nice time with your sister. That is so important!
So what is with your relationship with your SO? Is seems very tense.0 -
Happy Independence Day, my fellow Americans! To everyone else, happy Saturday! 0
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