Stop deleting your friends with an ED!

HotrodsGirl0107

I have and will continue to delete those who are active in their disorder, eating vlcd and overtraining, those that need constant hand holding, those who expect a pat on the back for EVERYTHING they do, those who are preachy about certain certain diets, and frankly anyone I don't feel I have anything in common with. I wouldn't be friends with them in RL, so why would I be friends with them here?

Morninglory81

It might be selfish, but I have a lot going on in my life, and just dont have it in me

I tried once, and it was a horrible experience. I was constantly worried and she would write me and nothing I said would ever get through to her...like beating my head against a wall.

Maybe i am too empathetic, or get to emotionally invested, but i just dont have it in me to give that much, and they need more than me...a professional.

and it drags me down.

Everyone is entitled to have a list that provides an environment for success for them, and this is how i choose to do it.

:flowerforyou:

This right here^^^

Cp731

I do. I don't feel guilty about it either.

I'm not a psychologist and I'm not qualified to deal with such things. I'm not a parent, counselor, teacher, or anyone else who's involved in their life. Being an 'online friend' leaves you with a very limited ability to help and often times, with my complete inability to bite my tongue, I more often than not, will do more harm than good.

I also can't deal with irrational and often overly dramatic status updates. I've had people with ED's on my list and I treat them the same way I've treated them with people in my real life that have gone through addiction. As soon as their willing to help themselves and make smart choices I'm with them 100% but until they make that decision their on their own.

OMG, Yes!
Agreed.
:happy:

LostInHollyw00d

I need to get in tune with internet abbreviations more.. I really came to this thread thinking it meant

"Stop deleting your friends with an Erectile Dysfunction"...

chelseascounter

I don't have any desire to delete them, for no reason in particular. They're the ones who usually add me.

MinimalistShoeAddict

Lol, so no you claim you were not referring to the eating disorder although you post is titled stop deleting your friends with e.d.....you really meant fat people who lost their appetite i.e your def of anorexic not the clinical mental health term everyone has been referring to for days. So you got corrected did not like it and made up some half baked attempt at justifying, blaming, and mollification to deflect and CYB. Didn't work, just makes me really question your intentions now.

My intention was merely not to exclude anyone. I see no reason to use your DSM IV definition in the context of my post. With my definition I am willing to support anyone regardless of weight. Not sure why you want to pin me down to using a clinical term I never specified.

I don't limit my support to people who weight less than 85% of what is expected for their age, height, and frame. I support everyone! Therefore I stand by my use of my Anoxeria term and definition as it does not exclude anyone based on weight. Your Anorexia Nervosa (DSM IV) term and definition excludes people and insults the inclusive intent of my thread.

Jerrypeoples

I am bad because when I read ED, I was thinking but I dont delete people with erectile dysfunction...That would be mean...

PS: I realize eating disorders are serious and people with them need help def not deleted.

How YOU doin....

Jerrypeoples

id freind this guy

cheesyrunner

I delete those who promote unhealthy eating habits. 1 = My own health/well-being, 2 = Other people's health/well-being. To an extent, we are all ED but I'm triggered into unhealthy habits by certain people (never by large ppl). I still support those who struggle and encourage people who are doing well.

lyttmab

*****es need to eat. I don't have the professional abilities to handle all that crazy.

Its fine to say you do not feel qualified to provide support. Its not okay to call people with eating disorders "*****es" and say they are crazy.

Please make some level of effort not to be so rude and condescending

Thank you for bringing this subject up and for calling this person on their poor grammar choices. The only reason/excuse this person has for calling any one with an eating disorder crazy is IGNORANCE. Obviously they do not have any sensitivity towards the subject and would be better off NOT having anyone on their Friends' List with an ED. They would do far more harm than good.

I always thought WE ALL (here on MFP) had eating disorders, some don't eat enough, some eat too much. I don't mean to trivialize it but not eating healthy is not eating healthy. I've been criticized for my eating habits and my weight far too many times. Obviously I understand that anorexia, bulimia, binging, purging . . . are much more serious. I think the message I'm trying to get across (and maybe the OP is, too) is we shouldn't judge. We all have eating problems on here, and to judge a person for the kind of problem is not what this site is supposed to be about. We are supposed to be here for one another, supporting, listening, cheering, brain-storming, laughing, crying . . . We are all trying to become healthy. And, it comes easier for some and much harder for others. But there's already so many prejudices around us, we don't need that kind of behavior on here.

cheesyrunner

I need to get in tune with internet abbreviations more.. I really came to this thread thinking it meant

"Stop deleting your friends with an Erectile Dysfunction"...

lol I was talking to my friend and used "ED"... He thought the same thing. It took a bit of time for him to figure out what I was talking about. 0_0 I would have thought it obvious, but no... :laugh:

TheLittleVoice91

As someone who struggles with an ED I totally agree with this post. When I see that my friends are deleting people with ED's and tell me that they're deleting me, I just feel even more guilty for being messed up. But I am trying to get better and I have been trying to gain a bit of weight-which I have. But people still just see the ED part. Its pretty ****.

Lifting_Knitter

I delete all people equally. If you ignore my advice or don't talk to me about it. Bye bye.

Jerrypeoples

As someone who struggles with an ED I totally agree with this post. When I see that my friends are deleting people with ED's and tell me that they're deleting me, I just feel even more guilty for being messed up. But I am trying to get better and I have been trying to gain a bit of weight-which I have. But people still just see the ED part. Its pretty ****.

i think its a very fine line for people. as others had said, Eating disorders are serious and it is more than, well you should eat more. some people do not feel comfortable trying to offer advice on something they have no idea about. i can also see it being a vicious cycle that it makes the one with the Eating Disorder feel bad that someone deletes them.

at the same time its a "random Stranger" deleting you and i dont think you should take it to heart. i know thats easy enough for me to say and not everyone sees it this way.

hopefully you are getting the help and support from other places.

emmietoby

i'm with you!! i have /had an ed and i still deal with it. if i'm under a lot of stress i tend not to eat. and it gets to where one feels out of control at least food is something one can control.
i may not look it now but i was way under wt . i deal with my ed every day like i said when i'm under a lot of strss ( like i am now!!! ) i have to remind myself to eat something no matter how small it is.

please add me to your list of friends ( emmietoby) love to talk to you as will as anyone else love to get a lot of friends!!!!

beachlover317

I delete mostly for lack of activity. But the big one for me is - drama. I don't care what's fueling your drama, I don't want to have my entire wall filled up by someone's boyfriend troubles, drama about eating or not eating, drama about anything. I'm here to get healthy. I'm working hard. Drama is useless and usually used to get attention.

lilmissymoo90

i do straightaway i had bulimia and anorexia as a young teen and don't need to see it on my profile im trying to eat healthy i still freak out when i go over 900 cals but i make myself eat 1200 having people on my page who freak out at going over 600 makes me start to panic about what im eating.

Crazyartgrrl

I don't usually delete. I "hide" from my feed.

But I usually only "hide" the ASKHOLES...you know, the ones who constantly want to know why this or that isn't working, and then you tell them the God's honest truth and they don't want THAT answer....they want the one that fits into their mindset.

little_miss_panda

People who have an ED shouldn't be on a calorie counting site counting calories. Period.

Recovering people shouldn't be on a health site to try and stay healthy and try and stay recovered??? smh

It is often a trigger for disordered thinking and sends them into relapse. Most don't need to worry about calories, etc...most need to work on developing a healthy relationship with food. If you've been around here long enough, I'm sure you see how obsessive calorie counters can be...it is often not a healthy environment for someone recovering from an ED.

This.

I quit calorie counting due to bulimia (which I didn't have, incidentally, until I begun calorie counting). I don't count on here but I stay in touch with friends, and I discuss my training and activity, now that I am recovering I am training for a 100 mile bike ride - I had always been a cyclist, but I had no energy to train during the period when the ED really took hold, so I am extremely happy now to be able to pursue what I love.

My friends on here are sane, they do not do VLCDs or appear to have disordered eating (but this is an internet site, so I appreciate that a lot of what I'm seeing may not be the absolute truth). My personal opinion about calorie counting and low calorie dieting is that in most cases, it doesn't work long term, and for some individuals it can be harmful, and the gateway to eating disorders.

Chadomaniac

id freind this guy

Lmao!!!