Online Dating
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wolfsbayne wrote: »So random question for everyone.....was talking to this guy right before the holidays, we seemed to hit it off and were planning on meeting...and then poof! Dude kind of disappears. All of a sudden he texts me yesterday asking how I have been doing and has been out of town for work (for 2 months???) and just got back.
WTF? Personally, I think that he was dating someone and they broke up so he decided to check in on me. Thoughts?
sketchy for sure. If he was going out of town for work, I would think he'd let you know and that he would like to get back in touch when he got back.
So we talked all through the holidays while he was on vacation with his family in another state. It seemed like we really connected, talking about pretty much everything. So while he was gone, he sent me a few "I miss you, wish you were here" texts, which I would think was because he was probably a little intoxicated.
He came back right after the New Year and called him out on it. He did admit that those texts were sent while he was drinking. I told him that I figured they were, but no big deal, I have sent some crazy texts while I was drunk and put a little smiley face at the end of it to let him know it didn't bother me.
I then asked how everything was since he had been back and if he would like to meet up to get a drink within the next few weeks. No reply. (I am not the person to keep texting someone, if they don't answer, that's on them) So this was the first week in January.
Then literally he texted me yesterday asking how I was. Etc, etc.
I called him out on it and asked WTF happened to him the past two months. That's when he said he was in San Diego for work (we both live in the same town, 3 1/2 hours from San Diego) and he just got back. Um, really? You didn't have your phone for two months? Now if he had been military and said he deployed or something, totally different story. But San Diego? 2 months? No contact? Shady.
He then asked me for a current picture of me (a totally rated G pic - he sent me the same). I sent him one and here we are almost 24 hours later and no response.
Again. WTF????
Yeah I don't get it. I would say he's not interested.
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Unfortunately, with the area that I'm at and my work keeping me busy, it's a challenge meeting people face to face. I'll have to use online dating a bit longer. I'll have to deter from POF and pony up my cash for Christian Mingle.TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.0 -
TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I think it is still fun even knowing some stories you have can be very negative. You get to meet people you might not ever meet in real life.
And if this is the goal does it really matter where you met your significant other? as in when you tell the how we met story that always comes up.0 -
I had a date with a guy who said he was a carpenter, but really was 40, worked part time and lived in his mom and dad's basement... and he really missed having someone to come home to, and make his meals. There was the guy, who because he had to buy his own drinks ( I bought my own and drove) told me for what he spent that night he could have bought 3 bottles of booze and gotten drunk in his garage ( obviously by himself) Last one... didn't even get passed texting this guy and he asked if I would meet him at a hotel room to soak in a tub with him.........ummm no lol
Awesome thread! Makes me feel not so alone!0 -
I find it interesting how many people are listing POF as a hook up site. I know of 4 long term relationships that started there in my small circle of friends (my own marriage included). As for the pay sites, while I haven't used them, my friends all have horror stories from both Match.com & EHarmony....and I've met some of the creeps that came from them, too! On the bright side, I actually met and dated a nice guy who was a friend of one of the Match creeps that I went along with my friend to meet.
I got lucky, my now husband is the first person I ever met online within the first few minutes of setting up my POF profile. I like to say I won the lottery the first time I bought a ticket.
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I was on a lunch date, and all she kept talking about was her 2 failed suicide attempts because her family didn't understand her. We didn't get dessert...........0
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^^^^^ How you doin????funjen1972 wrote: »Ohhhh do I have stories! One involves a very sweaty man on our first date who proclaimed his love for me at the end of lunch. It was just lunch lol Now, if I had slept with him I would have totally understood hehehe
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yopeeps025 wrote: »So random question for everyone.....was talking to this guy right before the holidays, we seemed to hit it off and were planning on meeting...and then poof! Dude kind of disappears. All of a sudden he texts me yesterday asking how I have been doing and has been out of town for work (for 2 months???) and just got back.
WTF? Personally, I think that he was dating someone and they broke up so he decided to check in on me. Thoughts?
Sounds like he was boo'd up for the holidays and now back to freelance work. Or is just plain cheating.
Question, why do people put so much stock in relationships while dating. Dating should be fun and if it happens cool. When did dating become detective work.
Well we chatting right. I'm sure some people don't after a date. A lot of crazy people in this world. Also does a person not change the way they do things from previous mistakes. That would cause lots to do detective world to make sure this person doesn't cut off my limbs after the date.
Depends, but that shouldn't take the joy out of it. Time is a great detective is it not? What is the rush? Do you really Deen to learn everything in one sitting? As far as the limbs line, classic and I agree. You take precautions to protect yourself but again how can you enjoy someone's company if you are thinking in fear??
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yopeeps025 wrote: »So random question for everyone.....was talking to this guy right before the holidays, we seemed to hit it off and were planning on meeting...and then poof! Dude kind of disappears. All of a sudden he texts me yesterday asking how I have been doing and has been out of town for work (for 2 months???) and just got back.
WTF? Personally, I think that he was dating someone and they broke up so he decided to check in on me. Thoughts?
Sounds like he was boo'd up for the holidays and now back to freelance work. Or is just plain cheating.
Question, why do people put so much stock in relationships while dating. Dating should be fun and if it happens cool. When did dating become detective work.
Well we chatting right. I'm sure some people don't after a date. A lot of crazy people in this world. Also does a person not change the way they do things from previous mistakes. That would cause lots to do detective world to make sure this person doesn't cut off my limbs after the date.
Depends, but that shouldn't take the joy out of it. Time is a great detective is it not? What is the rush? Do you really Deen to learn everything in one sitting? As far as the limbs line, classic and I agree. You take precautions to protect yourself but again how can you enjoy someone's company if you are thinking in fear??
Easy practice your fight or flight response and know when to use which one.
Your right there should be no rush which makes me question the guys these women in this thread online date?
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While men are entertaining sometimes, I deactivated my online accounts. It just gets to be too much. I'll just be single for a while and work on me.
I will say that it can work. I probably mentioned in an earlier post that I met my late husband on Singlesnet. He didn't try to bed me within the first message nor within the first several dates.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I think it is still fun even knowing some stories you have can be very negative. You get to meet people you might not ever meet in real life.
And if this is the goal does it really matter where you met your significant other? as in when you tell the how we met story that always comes up.
Part of the reason why I do it is because normally it's not easy for me to meet people. I work with pretty much all women, and every one of my friends are married. So online dating is pretty much my only option right now based on where I live.0 -
I had one successful/scary memorable mate i met online. It was Okcupid. The girl in particular was really peculiar, She was a southern country girl who enjoyed hunting with bows and throwing knives. She was overly fascinated by historical serial killers and she was raised on a farm so she knew in detail how to kill, skin and prep cattle. So many red flags went off before we met. When we did meet she was this charming petite yet curvy little red head who stood maybe 5 foot tall. All my fears went out the window. We had a great dinner and were super attracted to each other. Nothing serious came from it but we did have quite a few wild nights.
My experience with Blind dates have typically been awkward dinners, Online dating has usually resulted in some really fun hook ups but the only time i ever found love was from hanging out with big groups of friends.
I met my girlfriend 2 years ago through mutual friends and we've been incredibly happy. So that's my recommendation to anyone trying to find a partner.
Be yourself, hang out with your friends and have fun.
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TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I do it because it's hard to find people I have things in common with where I live currently. I'm originally from metro Detroit and have been living in Louisiana. I'm used to having a ton of choices for things to do. The main hobbies around here are hunting, camping, fishing, mud riding, etc and unless you drive 3.5 hours over to Dallas or down to Baton Rouge, there's not much else to do. Through online dating, I've been able to find other people from out of state that have non-country hobbies and interests.
I'm considering moving, and I may use it as a way to learn about the new city I'm living in - good places to eat, places to go, things to do, etc. If I can meet people out doing things I like doing, that's how I'd rather find someone, but who knows, there could be a great guy that lives two miles away and we'd never run across each others path without meeting online.0 -
So I just skimmed most of this thread cause I have no life today.
But anyways, my question would be do you think there is an age that is too young for internet dating?
Personally I don't care about internet dating or meeting anyone yet but I have a few friends who are my age (20) who are doing it and sometimes I find it slightly worrying.0 -
I believe it can work. All roads lead somewhere so I think its all about the experience. Each date deserves its own opportunity to succeed or fail on its own. I think online dating provides a ton of information that could be true or false via profile space but it also provides access to available people who want to spend time with good company. Personally, I appreciate and prefer those "traditional" methods and random encounters a little more.0
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almondbutterbay wrote: »So I just skimmed most of this thread cause I have no life today.
But anyways, my question would be do you think there is an age that is too young for internet dating?
Personally I don't care about internet dating or meeting anyone yet but I have a few friends who are my age (20) who are doing it and sometimes I find it slightly worrying.
I personally don't think anyone that is 20ish should be online dating. Again, this is my personal opinion, but I just think there are so many options for a 20 something out there! No need to do online dating! You have work friends, college friends, etc. that are your age that are probably not married and can set you up with mutual friends. Or just meet people out and about with your circle of friends. That's the way to do it. When I was in my early 20's, I had NO problem finding people to date. As I've gotten older, that's where it's gotten harder.
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almondbutterbay wrote: »So I just skimmed most of this thread cause I have no life today.
But anyways, my question would be do you think there is an age that is too young for internet dating?
Personally I don't care about internet dating or meeting anyone yet but I have a few friends who are my age (20) who are doing it and sometimes I find it slightly worrying.
I personally don't think anyone that is 20ish should be online dating. Again, this is my personal opinion, but I just think there are so many options for a 20 something out there! No need to do online dating! You have work friends, college friends, etc. that are your age that are probably not married and can set you up with mutual friends. Or just meet people out and about with your circle of friends. That's the way to do it. When I was in my early 20's, I had NO problem finding people to date. As I've gotten older, that's where it's gotten harder.
Same, that's how I feel. It's super easy to meet people at this point cause of work, college, friends, bars, or random events. Like I meet people through friends, classes, work, ballet, the gym, and yoga.
I think some of my friends that internet date concern me because they seem slightly obsessed with finding someone and I think it clouds their judgement safety wise sometimes.0 -
I believe it can work. All roads lead somewhere so I think its all about the experience. Each date deserves its own opportunity to succeed or fail on its own. I think online dating provides a ton of information that could be true or false via profile space but it also provides access to available people who want to spend time with good company. Personally, I appreciate and prefer those "traditional" methods and random encounters a little more.
I totally agree. Now do I do it is a different story.
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stephaniels0416 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I do it because it's hard to find people I have things in common with where I live currently. I'm originally from metro Detroit and have been living in Louisiana. I'm used to having a ton of choices for things to do. The main hobbies around here are hunting, camping, fishing, mud riding, etc and unless you drive 3.5 hours over to Dallas or down to Baton Rouge, there's not much else to do. Through online dating, I've been able to find other people from out of state that have non-country hobbies and interests.
I'm considering moving, and I may use it as a way to learn about the new city I'm living in - good places to eat, places to go, things to do, etc. If I can meet people out doing things I like doing, that's how I'd rather find someone, but who knows, there could be a great guy that lives two miles away and we'd never run across each others path without meeting online.
I am in the same situation as you! And I have seriously considered moving.0 -
wolfsbayne wrote: »While men are entertaining sometimes, I deactivated my online accounts. It just gets to be too much. I'll just be single for a while and work on me.
I will say that it can work. I probably mentioned in an earlier post that I met my late husband on Singlesnet. He didn't try to bed me within the first message nor within the first several dates.
I've never heard of Singlesnet.0 -
stephaniels0416 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I do it because it's hard to find people I have things in common with where I live currently. I'm originally from metro Detroit and have been living in Louisiana. I'm used to having a ton of choices for things to do. The main hobbies around here are hunting, camping, fishing, mud riding, etc and unless you drive 3.5 hours over to Dallas or down to Baton Rouge, there's not much else to do. Through online dating, I've been able to find other people from out of state that have non-country hobbies and interests.
I'm considering moving, and I may use it as a way to learn about the new city I'm living in - good places to eat, places to go, things to do, etc. If I can meet people out doing things I like doing, that's how I'd rather find someone, but who knows, there could be a great guy that lives two miles away and we'd never run across each others path without meeting online.
I am in the same situation as you! And I have seriously considered moving.
Honestly, if you're considering moving, do it. I was only supposed to be in LA for three years and I've been here eight. I feel like they're eight wasted years. I dislike the place as much now as I did when I moved here. I only have a couple of friends because I just don't like the people or the culture around here. My house isn't a home - I don't buy things for it because I don't want to buy stuff that fits this house and won't fit in a new one. I didn't date anyone the first few years I was here because I didn't want to get tied to someone from here. After I did start dating, it was only people not from here. I don't want to waste my 30's like I did my 20's. I want to have fun, have stuff to do, make some good friends, fall in love, be passionate about something again, make a home.
I'm going up to the Nashville, TN area tomorrow to see if I like it. If so, my house is going to be up for sale by the end of next week and I'm going to be gone. If not, I'll do some more research and try another area. I've already eliminated Greenville, SC - great on paper, but hated it.0 -
stephaniels0416 wrote: »stephaniels0416 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I do it because it's hard to find people I have things in common with where I live currently. I'm originally from metro Detroit and have been living in Louisiana. I'm used to having a ton of choices for things to do. The main hobbies around here are hunting, camping, fishing, mud riding, etc and unless you drive 3.5 hours over to Dallas or down to Baton Rouge, there's not much else to do. Through online dating, I've been able to find other people from out of state that have non-country hobbies and interests.
I'm considering moving, and I may use it as a way to learn about the new city I'm living in - good places to eat, places to go, things to do, etc. If I can meet people out doing things I like doing, that's how I'd rather find someone, but who knows, there could be a great guy that lives two miles away and we'd never run across each others path without meeting online.
I am in the same situation as you! And I have seriously considered moving.
Honestly, if you're considering moving, do it. I was only supposed to be in LA for three years and I've been here eight. I feel like they're eight wasted years. I dislike the place as much now as I did when I moved here. I only have a couple of friends because I just don't like the people or the culture around here. My house isn't a home - I don't buy things for it because I don't want to buy stuff that fits this house and won't fit in a new one. I didn't date anyone the first few years I was here because I didn't want to get tied to someone from here. After I did start dating, it was only people not from here. I don't want to waste my 30's like I did my 20's. I want to have fun, have stuff to do, make some good friends, fall in love, be passionate about something again, make a home.
I'm going up to the Nashville, TN area tomorrow to see if I like it. If so, my house is going to be up for sale by the end of next week and I'm going to be gone. If not, I'll do some more research and try another area. I've already eliminated Greenville, SC - great on paper, but hated it.
I guess I'm just nervous about moving somewhere new where I don't know anyone. And I do have a house here that I would have to sell and that might take some time.
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stephaniels0416 wrote: »stephaniels0416 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I do it because it's hard to find people I have things in common with where I live currently. I'm originally from metro Detroit and have been living in Louisiana. I'm used to having a ton of choices for things to do. The main hobbies around here are hunting, camping, fishing, mud riding, etc and unless you drive 3.5 hours over to Dallas or down to Baton Rouge, there's not much else to do. Through online dating, I've been able to find other people from out of state that have non-country hobbies and interests.
I'm considering moving, and I may use it as a way to learn about the new city I'm living in - good places to eat, places to go, things to do, etc. If I can meet people out doing things I like doing, that's how I'd rather find someone, but who knows, there could be a great guy that lives two miles away and we'd never run across each others path without meeting online.
I am in the same situation as you! And I have seriously considered moving.
Honestly, if you're considering moving, do it. I was only supposed to be in LA for three years and I've been here eight. I feel like they're eight wasted years. I dislike the place as much now as I did when I moved here. I only have a couple of friends because I just don't like the people or the culture around here. My house isn't a home - I don't buy things for it because I don't want to buy stuff that fits this house and won't fit in a new one. I didn't date anyone the first few years I was here because I didn't want to get tied to someone from here. After I did start dating, it was only people not from here. I don't want to waste my 30's like I did my 20's. I want to have fun, have stuff to do, make some good friends, fall in love, be passionate about something again, make a home.
I'm going up to the Nashville, TN area tomorrow to see if I like it. If so, my house is going to be up for sale by the end of next week and I'm going to be gone. If not, I'll do some more research and try another area. I've already eliminated Greenville, SC - great on paper, but hated it.
I guess I'm just nervous about moving somewhere new where I don't know anyone. And I do have a house here that I would have to sell and that might take some time.
I get it. Moving is new and scary, but if you don't change something, nothing is going to change. You can stay where you are, not like it and wonder if there's something better out there, or you can go see. Houses get bought and sold every day and you've had to meet new people all your life through work, school, etc. Moving doesn't mean you never talk to friends and family again, it just expands your pool of potential friends - like online dating does with potential dating prospects.
Decide what you want in a place (location, size, weather, job opportunities, housing prices, activity options, etc.) and start looking for one that meets those requirements, then take a weekend and go check it out. If you love it, you'll know. The idea of living there will be exciting and it'll make the decision to move and start over easier and something to look forward to. If you don't love it, go back to research and try again. You'll find your place, there's no rush. Just don't let fear of the unknown hold you back.
Edited to "read" better and be more generalized.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »I believe it can work. All roads lead somewhere so I think its all about the experience. Each date deserves its own opportunity to succeed or fail on its own. I think online dating provides a ton of information that could be true or false via profile space but it also provides access to available people who want to spend time with good company. Personally, I appreciate and prefer those "traditional" methods and random encounters a little more.
I totally agree. Now do I do it is a different story.
I agree as well. I would love to meet someone through the "traditional" methods, but that doesn't seem to happen. I do have a friend that wants to set me up with a former co-worker of hers....I know who he is, we used to interact professionally quite a few years ago. We shall see! 0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »TFaustino67 wrote: »So given all the stories I just skimmed through - do you folks still feel online dating is a 'thing' you would continue to do? I'm asking because my daughter mentioned it to me that was something she has done. I'm old I guess because I don't get it.
I think it is still fun even knowing some stories you have can be very negative. You get to meet people you might not ever meet in real life.
And if this is the goal does it really matter where you met your significant other? as in when you tell the how we met story that always comes up.
A valid point. And I stress to any who read my post - I'm not knocking it..just showing my age.0 -
Oh, thought of another one! Well, kinda...
So I have known this one guy for 12 years, literally ever since I was 19. When I first met him we just worked together (stationed together overseas), friends. He was married. Fast forward from 2003 to 2010 and dude has moved to Las Vegas (about 3 hours from my house) and is no longer married. We start talking, start "dating". We start talking about kids, he tells me no kids, I say deal breaker, he cuts ties and all communication with me.
A year later starts messaging me on FB, apologizes, tells me he wants to be friends. Cool, no big deal. He's also dating someone. Cool, no big deal.
Fast forward to a month ago. He starts commenting on all my posts, liking all my statuses, messaging me what seems like every single time I'm online. For example: I posted something online the other night, it was like 11:00, which is kind of late for me, and he immediately IM's me "Up kinda late, huh?" I go to the spa with some friends, "check in", he immediately comments, likes it and then sends me an IM "Hey, so what are you doing?"
Um, can you say stalker?0 -
^^^ Dude!!!0
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Oh, thought of another one! Well, kinda...
So I have known this one guy for 12 years, literally ever since I was 19. When I first met him we just worked together (stationed together overseas), friends. He was married. Fast forward from 2003 to 2010 and dude has moved to Las Vegas (about 3 hours from my house) and is no longer married. We start talking, start "dating". We start talking about kids, he tells me no kids, I say deal breaker, he cuts ties and all communication with me.
A year later starts messaging me on FB, apologizes, tells me he wants to be friends. Cool, no big deal. He's also dating someone. Cool, no big deal.
Fast forward to a month ago. He starts commenting on all my posts, liking all my statuses, messaging me what seems like every single time I'm online. For example: I posted something online the other night, it was like 11:00, which is kind of late for me, and he immediately IM's me "Up kinda late, huh?" I go to the spa with some friends, "check in", he immediately comments, likes it and then sends me an IM "Hey, so what are you doing?"
Um, can you say stalker?
I think it comes and goes depending on what's going on in the other person's life at the moment.
Right now, you're fun to fantasize about in the 'one that almost was' kinda way. You might be the best match for him now, even if it's not a good match - so it's fun to think about having someone to laugh and share with and whatnot. Once someone who hits more 'check boxes' comes around, the stalking will probably wane.
Just a thought.0 -
Joannah700 wrote: »Oh, thought of another one! Well, kinda...
So I have known this one guy for 12 years, literally ever since I was 19. When I first met him we just worked together (stationed together overseas), friends. He was married. Fast forward from 2003 to 2010 and dude has moved to Las Vegas (about 3 hours from my house) and is no longer married. We start talking, start "dating". We start talking about kids, he tells me no kids, I say deal breaker, he cuts ties and all communication with me.
A year later starts messaging me on FB, apologizes, tells me he wants to be friends. Cool, no big deal. He's also dating someone. Cool, no big deal.
Fast forward to a month ago. He starts commenting on all my posts, liking all my statuses, messaging me what seems like every single time I'm online. For example: I posted something online the other night, it was like 11:00, which is kind of late for me, and he immediately IM's me "Up kinda late, huh?" I go to the spa with some friends, "check in", he immediately comments, likes it and then sends me an IM "Hey, so what are you doing?"
Um, can you say stalker?
I think it comes and goes depending on what's going on in the other person's life at the moment.
Right now, you're fun to fantasize about in the 'one that almost was' kinda way. You might be the best match for him now, even if it's not a good match - so it's fun to think about having someone to laugh and share with and whatnot. Once someone who hits more 'check boxes' comes around, the stalking will probably wane.
Just a thought.
Hmmm....good point!0 -
I had a first date from an online connection on Saturday. It was my first one in about 6 months of being on three different sites.
I get: you're very active (from someone who described himself as boring- for real), you're going to give me a heart attack (from someone 5 years older, upon seeing me in a short skirt). Some of the pithy first contacts include: you can contact me if you'd like and, I like your picture (I'm really bowled over by their effort)
Anyway, I had a nice time on Saturday. He wasn't the best looking guy I've ever met, but he was funny and intelligent and if I hear from him again, I would be pleased. If I hear from him again, I'll also be surprised, but you never knlow.0
This discussion has been closed.
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