People that try to deter you

Jolinia

hollyrayburn wrote: »

"If you only knew how hard I worked to make this!"

My response to this one would be, "If you only knew how hard I work to not be overweight again you wouldn't try to force something on me that I don't want to eat!"

JPW1990

Jolinia wrote: »

hollyrayburn wrote: »

"If you only knew how hard I worked to make this!"

My response to this one would be, "If you only knew how hard I work to not be overweight again you wouldn't try to force something on me that I don't want to eat!"

Whenever these kinds of posts come up, I always try to picture it with different people. My grandmother was the best cheerleader I've ever had, so if she ever thought she'd been trying to get me to eat something I shouldn't have, she'd have been mortified. If it was someone else doing it, she'd be the first to step up and shut them down, too.

OTOH, I have another relative who is absolutely in the destructive narcissist category. Her own kids have her blocked on facebook just as a survival measure (she still posts about how horrible they are every day, but they don't have to read it anymore). A lot of the replies posted here suggesting they'd shut someone down would only fuel her. Using this one as an example, I guarantee her response would be something along the lines of, "how dare you blame me for you being fat." I have to do a lot of eye rolling and tongue biting when she's around. The earlier posts that are all variations of tell them to F off, they'd be like the Hindenberg, especially if they were said to her face.

It's definitely a situation which does not have one size fits all advice.

Jolinia

JPW1990 wrote: »

Jolinia wrote: »

hollyrayburn wrote: »

"If you only knew how hard I worked to make this!"

My response to this one would be, "If you only knew how hard I work to not be overweight again you wouldn't try to force something on me that I don't want to eat!"

Whenever these kinds of posts come up, I always try to picture it with different people. My grandmother was the best cheerleader I've ever had, so if she ever thought she'd been trying to get me to eat something I shouldn't have, she'd have been mortified. If it was someone else doing it, she'd be the first to step up and shut them down, too.

OTOH, I have another relative who is absolutely in the destructive narcissist category. Her own kids have her blocked on facebook just as a survival measure (she still posts about how horrible they are every day, but they don't have to read it anymore). A lot of the replies posted here suggesting they'd shut someone down would only fuel her. Using this one as an example, I guarantee her response would be something along the lines of, "how dare you blame me for you being fat." I have to do a lot of eye rolling and tongue biting when she's around. The earlier posts that are all variations of tell them to F off, they'd be like the Hindenberg, especially if they were said to her face.

It's definitely a situation which does not have one size fits all advice.

Whew. Thankfully I don't have people like that in my life! They all mean well.

AmazonMayan

I know people that do this and luckily I'm not around them much. I just keep insisting on the "no thanks" and either walk away or change the subject. It's on them if their feelings are hurt LOL. Some of them eat 1000 cal lunches almost daily then talk about how their dinners are so healthy and their workouts and how slow progress is....well gee, but I keep quiet

My problem now is getting my immediate family to accept that I can have a bite or two of that and be ok. They aren't intrusive or rude about it at all, but I get the looks and an occasional small comment. I just say I can fit it in my calories and we move on. People for years now have had this idea that if someone is losing weight, all they can eat is stuff like boiled chicken and salads. I figure just like I've had to retrain myself, they have to learn a new approach too.

I'm not telling anyone else I'm logging food, well other than all the wonderful, supportive people I'm meeting here. The weight loss is obvious and if they make a comment, I'll just thank them for noticing LOL.

llUndecidedll

Well, honestly a simple uninterested "no thank you" seems to do the trick. My facial expression makes sure the message is received.

Now for those persistent souls, I just take a piece and throw in the trash two seconds later. Not in front of them of course. I'm not that mean.

paperpudding

purplemystra wrote: »

beemerphile1 wrote: »

beemerphile1 wrote: »

I have no troubles like that. Maybe it is you throwing your diet in their faces.

Seriously? I get flagged for this?

I have no troubles with people trying to force food on me and cannot comprehend it happening. I simply suggested that maybe the OP is creating the atmosphere.

Maybe the problem is in your delivery. When I read your first post my first reaction was "this dude is a D bag." Sorry but it was kind of rude the way you stated it. Maybe state that you wanted to give a different perspective of the situation. When you are typing not speaking things can come off the wrong way.

Just my opinion. Trying to be helpful not attacking.

Or maybe it is just the flag happy stuff that happens here all the time.

paperpudding

Wtn_Gurl wrote: »

a co-worker who was going to thank me by giving me some delicious candy from his desk, I said oh thanks thats nice. but I'm really not eating sweets now. well then he tried again, and i said no… so he said "aww you're no fun." well that made me mad. so i told him, no i am not eating that stuff. so that was very annoying that he told me I'm no fun because i did not want his candy. sheesh!!!

I don't see that as something worth getting mad or annoyed over, it's just light hearted banter, just reply with something also light, like Yep that's me, smile and move on.
Don't take it so seriously.

hollyrayburn

I need to also say that I do have people supportive in my life, friends, family, boyfriend, and a few coworkers that are looking to change their life as well, so I'm truly blessed there. To my knowledge, the judgemental nosey coworker has not made comments about their food. Not gonna ask of course, because I don't wanna start anything.

From now on, when this person offers me (insert food here), I'm gonna just tell her "not today, but check with (person) they love that stuff!

But when it comes to her telling me not to eat this or I need to eat that, I'm going to be cordial at first, but if she is persistant, I'll inform her when she pays for my groceries, she can then dictate what I eat. Lol