We can't worry too much what others think about us. We can't be afraid to say what we really think or believe. It creates active avoidance and it all boils down to being scared of whether people like you or not.
If you find yourself constantly doing what others tell you to do and thinking the way others tell you to think, you risk knowing who you really are.
Think about why you care. Know that people don't normally care all that much about your food and exercise regimen. Most of the people in my small corner of the world don't care about it or even want to talk about it.
Find your own group of people. Birds of a feather. That's what MFP is for me. A place to mill around and shoot the breeze and share what really matters to us. We do care about all of this are we wouldn't be here on the daily, year after year. Posting and tooling along as we go down the highway.
The neat thing is that not caring as much about whether people like you, tends to have the effect of people liking you more. People like confidence and good self-esteem. It can be tiring to be around someone who is so affected by what others might think, because they're afraid that anything they say could potentially hurt the other person. When you're confident, they feel more comfortable being themselves as well. And, if two personalities don't work, it's okay, because it's okay that some people just aren't going to like you or what you do with your life.
While many of you are excited about how your shrinking breasts are opening up new bra opportunities, let me tell you about the other side of that coin that "nobody told me about losing weight". I have lost a cup size from a C to a B and I am NOT happy about it! I feel self conscious about this change when I'm with my husband.
TMI coming up...
A few years ago, my wife and I lost weight together. She was self-conscience of the same thing. After a while she realized that it was simply part of the whole weight loss process. I did not care, actually, I kind of liked it. I am married to her and will never see other breasts, (that's not a bad thing). It was kind of fun to have something different. I have always enjoyed her at every size and shape, from spilling out of her bra to flat and hanging. I love her and really don't care about the perfect beasts.
So, to let you know... they are breasts and your husband is a man. I'm positive he is happy. Don't let this be something to come between your intimacy with each other. Nobody is perfect so please quit comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope this helps to hear from a man's prospective.
Keep up the good work.
I also don't think we express our love and gratitude enough. Thank you to everybody for sharing the ups and downs of this journey. I come here to get motivation and inspiration. I love to hear about all of our trials and successes.
I have a list of things I have noticed but for some reason I feel like I need to be at goal before I share. I will share one of them.
I love to track my weight and look at the calendar and try to figure out what my weight will be at a given point in time if I keep it up. I realized that I am always looking forward to some milestone. It seemed like I was waiting to be happy. I realized I am happy right now. I feel so much better right now than I did just pounds ago. I feel in control of my life and body right now, not just when I am at my goal weight.
Take care everyone, Remember, we are not in this life alone. I look forward to your frustrations and successes.
Thank you...I needed to hear this!
Just to add a little something (a bit crude though) . . . my husband always says that more than a handful is wasted! He would agree with everything that @nixverstehen has said. My husband has seen me at all the sizes from massive to tiny over the last 32 years and it doesn't bother him. Talking about it helps as well, if it's bothering you that much. You'll probably find that your husband doesn't care about what cup size you are, he married you for YOU, not your breast size.
Willpower and motivation are limited resources. It takes more than good intentions.
In some ways we are fighting against our own biology. The body adapts to what we're doing because we are all bent on survival. Got plateaus? The body is just sitting there on idle. The engine is still running but it's conserving your energy and protecting you. You can't get mad or upset because dropping it like it's hot is not all it's cracked UP to be. Your skin will hang like a shar-pei dog if you put the pedal to the metal.
There are some biological adaptations that are hard wired into our DNA. There's not enough food resets, reboots and realignments that will fix that vehicle. Look yourself directly in the eye. Face the truth. It's always good to know what we're really up against.
I did not notice a reduction in allergies with weight loss. That sucks.
My boobs shrunk, but not enough to but inexpensive OTR bras. I'm still a 30E/32DDD. What I consider 'small' still isn't really absolutely small. So their droopy AND I still have to shell out large sums of money for support. I was as high as a 32N/34M. 30E is comparatively small.
Granted at least you can order 32DDD bras online from regular brands/stores. They just don't often have them in stock.
Double H here. I don't think losing weight is gonna ever allow me to buy inexpensive bras.😂
Alas, weight loss has allowed me to find an abundance of cheap bras, since I have no chest and apparently most of those who need a 34A don’t shop in the adult women’s underwear section 😂
Upon bringing my new bounty of clearance bras home, I made a disturbing discovery—the 34 band easily closes on the amallest row of hooks on a brand new bra with little to no stretching. Uh oh. That means after a few months/washings they’ll be too big. They were the smallest ones Target had in the adult section that I could find 😓. Hopefully post COVID resupply will bring some 32s, so I don’t have to go to the girls’ section.
Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
Since we’re sharing... nobody tells you, “you’ll be able to towel dry your entire behind so easily whenever you get out of the shower when you lose weight.” But yeah, no acrobatics required anymore for a dry butt crack
Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
If you used to be obese, it’s not unusual for your xiphoid to “pop” forward to accommodate your belly. Then when you lose weight it looks odd. But chances are good it will gradually return to it’s normal position, mine did after about a year.
Nobody told me I would be surprised by my own anatomy.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
If you used to be obese, it’s not unusual for your xiphoid to “pop” forward to accommodate your belly. Then when you lose weight it looks odd. But chances are good it will gradually return to it’s normal position, mine did after about a year.
Yeah, I was very surprised to read about that. I wonder if the 'popping back' depends on age since the xiphoid process ossifies by 40 years old or so (I have a few years left )
They do actually tell you that when you lose weight, your health markers will improve.
I just found out mine did. More than I thought they would. I have been monitoring my blood pressure at home, so I've watched that improve over my weight loss and stay healthy in maintenance. I hadn't been to my doctor since before I lost weight, so I got to compare blood tests finally.
Kind of odd, though: My total cholesterol is hardly changed, but my LDL (bad cholesterol) dropped 45 points from being borderline high to being optimal. My HDL went up 50 points, perhaps to compensate. Maybe that HDL is still working to get the LDL out of my system. Triglycerides also dropped 20 points.
That you will set off alarms in the hospital when they hook you up to a heart monitor because your resting heart rate is so low. Not because you have a heart condition, but because you are in really good shape.
Wanted to make this thread for motivationial purposes more than anything but they don't all have to be super positive! More of what came as a surprise. I'll start..
- how much confidence it will actually bring, especially when strangers start treating you like royalty all of a sudden!
- Sitting (particularly in baths) and laying (particularly in beds) will become ever increasingly uncomfortable.
- how vain you will become! I can't walk past a mirror without checking how I look nowadays!
Your turn!
I absolutely love this post, this is so accurate especially the mirror!!! (from past experience haha not now) Thank you for this post, its amazing. I see around 800 people everyday at work and you obviously get to know people and some people you just nod at or w/e .. amazing how many people want to talk to me or suddenly show an interest.. mad that isn't it.
While many of you are excited about how your shrinking breasts are opening up new bra opportunities, let me tell you about the other side of that coin that "nobody told me about losing weight". I have lost a cup size from a C to a B and I am NOT happy about it! I feel self conscious about this change when I'm with my husband.
TMI coming up...
A few years ago, my wife and I lost weight together. She was self-conscience of the same thing. After a while she realized that it was simply part of the whole weight loss process. I did not care, actually, I kind of liked it. I am married to her and will never see other breasts, (that's not a bad thing). It was kind of fun to have something different. I have always enjoyed her at every size and shape, from spilling out of her bra to flat and hanging. I love her and really don't care about the perfect beasts.
So, to let you know... they are breasts and your husband is a man. I'm positive he is happy. Don't let this be something to come between your intimacy with each other. Nobody is perfect so please quit comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I hope this helps to hear from a man's prospective.
Keep up the good work.
I also don't think we express our love and gratitude enough. Thank you to everybody for sharing the ups and downs of this journey. I come here to get motivation and inspiration. I love to hear about all of our trials and successes.
I have a list of things I have noticed but for some reason I feel like I need to be at goal before I share. I will share one of them.
I love to track my weight and look at the calendar and try to figure out what my weight will be at a given point in time if I keep it up. I realized that I am always looking forward to some milestone. It seemed like I was waiting to be happy. I realized I am happy right now. I feel so much better right now than I did just pounds ago. I feel in control of my life and body right now, not just when I am at my goal weight.
Take care everyone, Remember, we are not in this life alone. I look forward to your frustrations and successes.
What an insightful post. Thank you for sharing. I, too, love the positivity and encouragement I read on here. It is refreshing.
Also- I LOVE the “comparison is the thief of joy “ statement. I have been guilty of comparing myself in many ways to others, and remembering this quote will help me realize that what I have to offer is unique to me.
Also- I LOVE the “comparison is the thief of joy “ statement. I have been guilty of comparing myself in many ways to others, and remembering this quote will help me realize that what I have to offer is unique to me. [/quote]
That quote is attributed to Teddy Roosevelt. I have it written on a post it note in my office. There's never a day that I look at it that it doesn't make me pause and let go of something that was irking me. So powerful.
I didn't not anticipate my face changing as much as it has. I have dimples, something I haven't had since I was a teenager. Weirdly, I'd forgotten about them. I did not anticipate LIKING how I look. Generally I just haven't given a damn. But no, I like my face. I even like my wrinkled stretch marks. They show how much I've managed to accomplish on this journey.
I'm not sure how to describe this or if anyone here has had a similar experience... My stomach felt firmer at maximum fatness. I'm not saying the skin is loose now or anything (well, maybe it's a bit looser, but that's not what I mean), but it feels... softer and squishier? I don't have to prod it to know it feels different, I just 'know' - but if I prod it, I can feel the difference.
There's less fat overall, but what is left feels like a different type of fat. A different texture. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just that it's different and it's a little bit weird.
Replies
... and the congregation says, "amen."
Just to add a little something (a bit crude though) . . . my husband always says that more than a handful is wasted! He would agree with everything that @nixverstehen has said. My husband has seen me at all the sizes from massive to tiny over the last 32 years and it doesn't bother him. Talking about it helps as well, if it's bothering you that much. You'll probably find that your husband doesn't care about what cup size you are, he married you for YOU, not your breast size.
In some ways we are fighting against our own biology. The body adapts to what we're doing because we are all bent on survival. Got plateaus? The body is just sitting there on idle. The engine is still running but it's conserving your energy and protecting you. You can't get mad or upset because dropping it like it's hot is not all it's cracked UP to be. Your skin will hang like a shar-pei dog if you put the pedal to the metal.
There are some biological adaptations that are hard wired into our DNA. There's not enough food resets, reboots and realignments that will fix that vehicle. Look yourself directly in the eye. Face the truth. It's always good to know what we're really up against.
I didn't lose the weight, I've released it because I have no intentions of finding it again.
When you feel like giving UP, remember......You are too darned smart to be the only thing standing in your way.
Alas, weight loss has allowed me to find an abundance of cheap bras, since I have no chest and apparently most of those who need a 34A don’t shop in the adult women’s underwear section 😂
Upon bringing my new bounty of clearance bras home, I made a disturbing discovery—the 34 band easily closes on the amallest row of hooks on a brand new bra with little to no stretching. Uh oh. That means after a few months/washings they’ll be too big. They were the smallest ones Target had in the adult section that I could find 😓. Hopefully post COVID resupply will bring some 32s, so I don’t have to go to the girls’ section.
There have been a few people here worried about 'lumps' that turned out to be bones.
In my case, I wondered what the hard lump was halfway down the midline of my chest. Turns out it's the xiphoid process, a part of the sternum which, in my case, sticks out forwards a bit. Phew!
If you used to be obese, it’s not unusual for your xiphoid to “pop” forward to accommodate your belly. Then when you lose weight it looks odd. But chances are good it will gradually return to it’s normal position, mine did after about a year.
Don't overthink it.
Yeah, I was very surprised to read about that. I wonder if the 'popping back' depends on age since the xiphoid process ossifies by 40 years old or so (I have a few years left
I just found out mine did. More than I thought they would. I have been monitoring my blood pressure at home, so I've watched that improve over my weight loss and stay healthy in maintenance. I hadn't been to my doctor since before I lost weight, so I got to compare blood tests finally.
Kind of odd, though: My total cholesterol is hardly changed, but my LDL (bad cholesterol) dropped 45 points from being borderline high to being optimal. My HDL went up 50 points, perhaps to compensate. Maybe that HDL is still working to get the LDL out of my system. Triglycerides also dropped 20 points.
Love this!
I absolutely love this post, this is so accurate especially the mirror!!! (from past experience haha not now) Thank you for this post, its amazing. I see around 800 people everyday at work and you obviously get to know people and some people you just nod at or w/e .. amazing how many people want to talk to me or suddenly show an interest.. mad that isn't it.
What an insightful post. Thank you for sharing. I, too, love the positivity and encouragement I read on here. It is refreshing.
Also- I LOVE the “comparison is the thief of joy “ statement. I have been guilty of comparing myself in many ways to others, and remembering this quote will help me realize that what I have to offer is unique to me.
Also- I LOVE the “comparison is the thief of joy “ statement. I have been guilty of comparing myself in many ways to others, and remembering this quote will help me realize that what I have to offer is unique to me. [/quote]
That quote is attributed to Teddy Roosevelt. I have it written on a post it note in my office. There's never a day that I look at it that it doesn't make me pause and let go of something that was irking me. So powerful.
I'm not sure how to describe this or if anyone here has had a similar experience... My stomach felt firmer at maximum fatness. I'm not saying the skin is loose now or anything (well, maybe it's a bit looser, but that's not what I mean), but it feels... softer and squishier? I don't have to prod it to know it feels different, I just 'know' - but if I prod it, I can feel the difference.
There's less fat overall, but what is left feels like a different type of fat. A different texture. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just that it's different and it's a little bit weird.
Is it just me?