The Gym is great for people watching!!

12by311

blow dry your pubes and under your boobs with a hairdryer...

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

BerryH

My favourites at my gym are:

1. Vain skinny older woman
She seems to be there whenever I'm in the gym, could be any age from 45 to 60 (I'm guessing towards the top end), nut brown and beautifully coiffured, lifting heavy weights but not daring to break a sweat for fear of ruining her designer gym togs. Sometimes accompanied by her parter, a mulletted nouveau riche type who could easily be a retired rock star. I suspect she must keep in shape for fear of being ousted by a younger model.

2. The doormen
They shake the floors every Monday, fresh out of manning the pub and club doors of north London. Their enormous bulk does not entirely owe itself to muscle, but you wouldn't tell them that. Shaven-headed to a man, their weight belts are all that stands between them and a hernia as they throw weights bigger than me around, making a noise like a mating rhinosaurus.

3. The jacuzzi hogs
They fork out a substantial sum every month for gym membership but wonder why they never lose any weight. Could it be that every weekend morning when the rest of us are churning out lengths in the pool they sit beside it in the jacuzzi and gossip? I think they might be swingers. I'm never getting in there just in case.

JoyousRen

2. The coffee/donut/jean gang. There is a little mezzanine area, with tables and coffeepot/snack machines, etc. And I always see the same little old men there drinking their coffee and enjoying their donuts. No big deal, until a few minutes later I see them hop on a treadmill or a bike...in their jeans...right after their pre-workout donut. lol

I was running at the fitness center in my complex and saw a kid lifting in skinny jeans, chucks, and the whole emo getup including jewelry. It couldn't have been comfortable. The room was 73 dgrees.

PamDW

Ok, I really paid attention today.
We have 2 bionic women that I have noticed.

I love the
I Want to Look Like I Know What I am Doing Newbie - this is the one that gets on a machine and sits for 5 minutes trying not to look like she is reading the directions. Then when she finally starts the exercise She is having to stretch real far because she didnt know she had to adjust the seat or bar. (We have all been there - fess up)

Then we had the
Trainer/Trainee? Duo.... It was obvious who was training who, but neither really had any idea what to do.... I give them kudos for working together to make it work for both of them.

The Grunge: The one that comes in with the hat turned sideways and the sweats that hang 5 inches over the shoes. good thing he just lifts weights and not the treadmill... He probably would kill himself. I have to say though he was very fit so the clothes you wear certainly dont make a difference.

Have any of you ever paid attention to the other people watchers in the gym.... you know we are soooo obvious!

HonestPuck88

He wasn't at a gym, but it's in the same vein....When I was a kid, I would go to the town pool almost everyday in the summer (I had nothing better to do).

Everyday, this man in his 70s would arrive, an hour before the pool closed wearing a bright yellow speedo and do these impressive dives off the diving board (back flips and stuff). And everytime he got out of the pool to dive again, he would dry himself off. He was really sweet and taught be how to dive.

anidiotabroad

I've been going to the gym alot lately and its interesting to see the same people there the more you show, but I always think to myself 'If i'm remembering all these people, are they remembering me?'.

There are a few people who make me laugh, like the 'Look at me!' guy. He runs on the treadmill for a few minutes, jumps off (with it still running) and throws a med ball up in the air about 20 times, then goes and does chin ups for a minute, then runs back to the treadmill again and starts over. Dont get me wrong, I admire the enthusiasm and the fact he can do this 5 or more times before finishing, but it just makes me giggle a bit.

Then there is the 'I want to be a powerlifter!' guy. This guy is huge! He walks around with his arms pretty much level with his shoulders like he's carrying a roll of carpet under each one. Its like he's moving in slow motion when he walks, like he thinks the slower he walks the more people will look at his sweat patches under his arms. Wish he wouldn't though, they smell!

PamDW

Then there is the 'I want to be a powerlifter!' guy. This guy is huge! He walks around with his arms pretty much level with his shoulders like he's carrying a roll of carpet under each one. Its like he's moving in slow motion when he walks, like he thinks the slower he walks the more people will look at his sweat patches under his arms. Wish he wouldn't though, they smell!

I think we all have one of these at our gym!! too funny.

brittfam

I have a sweaty singer- gets on the treadmill and goes to town while singing. I have yet to determine what music he is listening to. But when he " sings" which comes out a sound like a crying cat.. it really gets peoples attention haha.

35again

I don't get to hit the gym as often as I'd like anymore but what I see at mine:

The Oompa Loompa - why? Cuz this dude looks exactly like the head oompa loompa from the original Willy Wonka movie. All he'd need is a bad orange spray tan and some white paint on his eyebrows.

The treadmill pretender - they get on the treadmill, stand there and hit some buttons, fidget with their ipod/towel/clothes, hit more buttons, but never actually starting the treadmill. Then they get off and head to the locker room like they just did a marathon workout.

backinthenines

The treadmill pretender - they get on the treadmill, stand there and hit some buttons, fidget with their ipod/towel/clothes, hit more buttons, but never actually starting the treadmill. Then they get off and head to the locker room like they just did a marathon workout.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Excellent!!! I've never seen that but it made me laugh. I see a lot of treadmill casualties, you know the ones who do two or three sprint reps of no more than a minute and then stagger off half dead. :huh:

backinthenines

their weight belts are all that stands between them and a hernia as they throw weights bigger than me around, making a noise like a mating rhinosaurus.

Oooooh yes!!!! Plenty of those at my gym. LOL :laugh:

TiffyL

There's a "body builder" at my gym that wears a colorful striped spandex onsie!!! The kind wrestlers wear. He thinks he looks soooooo hot hahahaha!!!

Lacole216

I go to step class on Mondays and here recently we had a new participant. It's a woman probably mid to late 40's....NO rhythm but thinks she's groving out! Only thing is that's not the funny part.....she's one of those top heavy folks that are built like *kitten* brick houses...you know, broad shoulders, big boobs, big belly, no booty and small legs. She does, however, have flabby thighs....but none of this stops her from wearing the shortest, tightest shorts ever and still rolling them up (or down, however you want to look at it) where you can almost see her hip bone and at the same time see her "tramp stamp" (no judgement there....I have one too) and the smallest tank top with her belly hanging out and top rolled down under her bra where you can see the tattoo on her breast! She struts through the entire class and makes up her own steps because she can't quite catch on. It's absolutely hilarious! then when class is done she'll go do the "bend and snap" routine from Legally Blonde to get her water bottle and go strutting back out into the gym constantly looking around to see if anyone is watching! Too funny!

"Bend and snap" lmao! too funny :laugh:

micklepickle61

I'm never going to the gym. surely I'd end up as the topic of one of your comment here. :-)

PamDW

mickle, I am sure we all have nicknames that other people call us.
I remembered one gym I belonged to that some other people from work went to... we had nicknames for everyone, and we didnt have to ask who we were talking about.

wanda1956

Oh that cracks me up!!!:laugh:

abihaila

bump

backinthenines

There's an old chap in my gym... code name "Free Willy"...

He wears very baggy shorts with nothing underneath.

Willie is also UK colloquial for the male 'organ'.

He likes to use the abductor machine.

The rest is self explanatory. :embarassed: :noway:

katapple

now that I'm finally a member of a gym, I might have to pay more attention and people watch...these are hilarious!

I'm so oblivious to the people around me when I'm working out LOL

facerme

Im the crazy person who smiles when it aches/hurts/ cuases pain........... keep smiling people :happy:

Panda_Jack

haha! these stories are great. Keep em coming!

anidiotabroad

Oh I forgot the 'Mirror'guy!
I was doing some sit up excercises the other day and I looked in the weights room while resting and saw a guy just staring at himself. I thought maybe he's just resting too and in a bit of a daze, but then he started holding onto the weights machine in different arm positions. Now that may not sound too bad, maybe he was just figety or something, but what he was actually doing was checking his arm muscles out doing different things. He must have done this for a good 5 minutes, checking out every position and grinning at himself as if to say 'yeah, i'm awesome!'. Really, you're not lol...

FitPhysique

OMG! I Love this tread. It's hilarious. I've had it up all day and reading a page at a time couple of my cowrkes have come over and asked me if I was alright because I have been laughing sooooooo hard.

I'm so glad I never worry about whether people are watching. I now mostly work out at the gym at my job. I am everything...the heavy sweater, the treadmill/elliptical girl. Lately, I've been on this kick and been wearing headscarves, bandanas and whatever, oversize shirt etc. Most are from road races that I've done. Sometimes I do look nice but it's purely by accident. Most of the time I look like I'm ready to work out. A lot of my fellow exercisers are the execs of the company and they don't look matchy matchy. They look like average joe. Anyways, who cares If ppI watch you. I'm like whatever. I'm in my own world a lot of time. Lunchtime is when to go if you want to see a fashion show :laugh:

Someone from an earlier post said something about P90x . I'm doing the P90x at 6:30 in the morning in the aerobic room. I have had several ppl joined me and several have bought the program and other beachbody.com programs as a result. No I am not a coch. Now we have to fight over the T.V. LOL. There are people doing Insanity, Turbo Jam, Turbo Fire and another lady that does Yoga. Eventhough it's a "at home workout , It's just nice to do it at the gym. I love love going to the gym eventhough I love being outside.

backinthenines

Just back from a hilarious spin class. Two youngish girls in their early twenties on a day pass....

I have NEVER seen so much make up in one face!! And we're not just talking about the full works but also fake eyelashes and fake hair (cheap extentions) and wearing pink sparkly dimante encrusted streetwear. Both obviously trying to use the face to make up for the shortcomings of the body.

I'm not sure whether in the US you're familar with the term "chav"...?!

Well... two tracks and they were melting!!! :laugh: Two tracks after that they looked like they were dying... :laugh:

I mean WHO wears make-up to spin?????

katapple

Just back from a hilarious spin class. Two youngish girls in their early twenties on a day pass....

I have NEVER seen so much make up in one face!! And we're not just talking about the full works but also fake eyelashes and fake hair (cheap extentions) and wearing pink sparkly dimante encrusted streetwear. Both obviously trying to use the face to make up for the shortcomings of the body.

I'm not sure whether in the US you're familar with the term "chav"...?!

Well... two tracks and they were melting!!! :laugh: Two tracks after that they looked like they were dying... :laugh:

I mean WHO wears make-up to spin?????

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

This reminds me though, when I was going to the gym on base there was one lady in itty bitty workout clothes, which hey, if you can wear them, why not, the thing that always cracked me up is the HUGE pearl necklace she was always wearing. I'm guessing they weren't real, because who on earth would wear that on the elliptical?? She must of been a General's wife or something :happy:

boardedney

The leaping Lady might be tripping and you're catching the tail end of it where she has to catch herself...lol. I am also the oddball in the gym. I hop off the treadmill while it's still running to crazy stretches and in spin class, they make fun of me and call what I'm doing, "Spoga" because of all the stretching. LOL! I'm a personal trainer/massage therapist though... and one of the funniest things to me is when some dude who thinks he's all fit and strong, is doing something with such awefull form that I think, 'There's $65 headin' my way cuz he's gonna need treatment after that craziness!

toots99

The leaping Lady might be tripping and you're catching the tail end of it where she has to catch herself...lol. I am also the oddball in the gym. I hop off the treadmill while it's still running to crazy stretches and in spin class, they make fun of me and call what I'm doing, "Spoga" because of all the stretching. LOL! I'm a personal trainer/massage therapist though... and one of the funniest things to me is when some dude who thinks he's all fit and strong, is doing something with such awefull form that I think, 'There's $65 headin' my way cuz he's gonna need treatment after that craziness!

:laugh:

Newfiedan

lol I hear you about form, I see kids trying to emulate the bigger guys in the gym and struggling trying to bust a testicle to lift weight that is to heavy for them. I had to stop one kid before he tore a muscle and show him proper form. I spent years working out in university and learned proper form from trainers and magazines. It took time to get it right but once I did its funny to see guys throwing 100 pound arm curls with their whole body figuring they are strong instead of doing it right and then watch me do it with lighter weight and bone straight using just my arms and getting much better results than they are.

msbanana

I've got another one for you guys...
Twinkle Toes!!
I just noticed this guy tonight... He was young-ish (mid twenties tops) looked rather fit (he's tall (well over 6 feet) and lean) he was wearing your standard matching nike running gear. Any other time he would have blended right in... HOWEVER, he was on the treadmill tonight and if he was going faster than 4.5mph I'd be shocked. He was making the motion like he was jogging but taking REEEEEEEEALLY tiny steps. I was waiting for him to bust out a eukele and start singing "Tip Toe Through the Tulips"

He kept this up for the better part of my 30 minutes on the elliptical and I got to watch in all it's glory as I was right behind him. I was staring in wonderment when the hot guy on the stair stepper next to me stifles a laugh... I look at him and realize he too is witnessing the spectical and we both lost it.

Crazy Laughing Cardio People.
Its a super sweaty girl on the elliptical and a hot guy on the stair stepper losing their *kitten* over Twinkle Toes... yes people were staring probably trying to figure out what was so damned funny. :bigsmile:

backinthenines

It took time to get it right but once I did its funny to see guys throwing 100 pound arm curls with their whole body figuring they are strong instead of doing it right and then watch me do it with lighter weight and bone straight using just my arms and getting much better results than they are.

Absolutely.

Some people seem to have no idea between strength and simple physics (i.e. using momentum not strength!).

Watching the weight swingers is always a favourite.