Why do guys feel the need to approach me in the gym?!?

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  • Binkie1955
    Binkie1955 Posts: 329 Member
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    My guess is that as you've lost 23 pounds, guys are finding you more attractive and are looking for opportunities to 'hit' on you.
    You're probably going to have to learn to accomodate that as you reach your dietary and fitness goals. Evolution has designed men to respond this way just as you are designed to want to feel more attractive which is what motivated you to lose the weight and get fit.
    you're both victims of genes looking to survive.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.

    I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.

    So it was one guy. OKkkkkkkkkkk.

    I know right. A whole woe is me over one dude helping on form.

    Sweet. Is this what society is becoming?
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    now i feel like such a dizzy cow! how could i miss something so obvious.

    cat poop and PTSD should work a treat.
    ...until i meet a dude with a kittylitter fetish.

    I am only here to help, not in the creepy approach you hovering over you trying to impart my weight lifting knowledge on attractive women sort of way.

    Maybe I am just cold heart'ed, I have NEVER felt the need to advise on proper form unless it is some idiot in a station next to me that may rain a few lead weights down in my general direction. Even then I would probably just move, as I have. "Ok buddy you appear to be struggling with that squat rack... I am moving over here"

    Weight lifting is sort of one of those things, do not try it alone. Get some professional training or you are going to break something important and useful.

    Also do not take advise from random people in the gym unless you know their credentials, they can be giving you awesome sounding but completely incorrect form advice.

    When someone asks me about form, I usually just respond with "I am not a pro, I do not want to hurt you."
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.

    I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.

    So it was one guy. OKkkkkkkkkkk.
    suddenly the thread looks... crazy.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    now i feel like such a dizzy cow! how could i miss something so obvious.

    cat poop and PTSD should work a treat.
    ...until i meet a dude with a kittylitter fetish.

    I am only here to help, not in the creepy approach you hovering over you trying to impart my weight lifting knowledge on attractive women sort of way.

    Maybe I am just cold heart'ed, I have NEVER felt the need to advise on proper form unless it is some idiot in a station next to me that may rain a few lead weights down in my general direction. Even then I would probably just move, as I have. "Ok buddy you appear to be struggling with that squat rack... I am moving over here"

    Weight lifting is sort of one of those things, do not try it alone. Get some professional training or you are going to break something important and useful.

    Also do not take advise from random people in the gym unless you know their credentials, they can be giving you awesome sounding but completely incorrect form advice.

    When someone asks me about form, I usually just respond with "I am not a pro, I do not want to hurt you."
    you're smart. and not just for the eau de turd advice.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    Gym staff =/= expert. Most of the staff I've encountered are clueless.
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I've had guys correct my form before without me asking. I'm thankful for the advice. Now, in the OP's situation, I'm sure it's part wanting to help but mainly hitting on her.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    I'm too old (50), too fat (207lbs) and not cute enough to be hit on or even helped my any of the guys at my gym. One of my motivations for doing this SL5x5 is that one day, the quys are going start trying to hit on me and I'm gonna be able to say "You didn't give me the time of day when I was new to this and needed help. Now that I got it wired, you can just F off".

    Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.

    You fit the profile of the last person I gave advice to.
  • drefaw
    drefaw Posts: 739
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Not all of us are at the gym to hit on women .....

    I tried to help a younger guy out at the gym just this morning. He has been using VERY bad form, trying to lift beyond his strength. He actually laughed at me, and said he didn't need any "old school" lifting advise.

    Whatever dude..... But I just know, I'm gonna be picking this kid up off the ground here soon .......
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Not all of us are at the gym to hit on women .....

    I tried to help a younger guy out at the gym just this morning. He has been using VERY bad form, trying to lift beyond his strength. He actually laughed at me, and said he didn't need any "old school" lifting advise.

    Whatever dude..... But I just know, I'm gonna be picking this kid up off the ground here soon .......

    Same boat with an another guy. Just hope I'm not there when he explodes.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Not all of us are at the gym to hit on women .....

    I tried to help a younger guy out at the gym just this morning. He has been using VERY bad form, trying to lift beyond his strength. He actually laughed at me, and said he didn't need any "old school" lifting advise.

    Whatever dude..... But I just know, I'm gonna be picking this kid up off the ground here soon .......

    Same boat with an another guy. Just hope I'm not there when he explodes.

    I saw that the other day. Lifting guy doing 200+ pound deadlifts with a curved back tells helpful guy, "No, you have more strength in your back when it's curved"
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Not all of us are at the gym to hit on women .....

    I tried to help a younger guy out at the gym just this morning. He has been using VERY bad form, trying to lift beyond his strength. He actually laughed at me, and said he didn't need any "old school" lifting advise.

    Whatever dude..... But I just know, I'm gonna be picking this kid up off the ground here soon .......

    Same boat with an another guy. Just hope I'm not there when he explodes.

    I saw that the other day. Lifting guy doing 200+ pound deadlifts with a curved back tells helpful guy, "No, you have more strength in your back when it's curved"

    Dude uses most of the machines. He puts the pin in on the highest weight, uses his back and momentum to get the weight going, moves it about 6 inches (using his back and momentum), then drops the whole stack to let us know he'd done.
  • charlesnapolitano
    charlesnapolitano Posts: 302 Member
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    cuz guys are douche bags
  • resistance_freak
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    Men like to be helpful to women. Most of them probably have no idea they are offending you or dealing a blow to your confidence. They think they are being nice and doing you a favor. If they are actually being helpful, smile and say thank you and maybe even consider taking their advice. Who knows, they might turn into good lifting partners for you. If what they are telling you is wrong, say "Thanks, but I like doing it my way." There's no need to get mad or defensive unless it's someone who is repeatedly bothering you.

    This^

    She is exactly right! Wow, never known a girl to understand men that well before!
  • djkronyx
    djkronyx Posts: 77 Member
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    I prefer not to give advice unless directly asked for it. I try to set an example with good form and technique in my own lifts, and that will sometimes lead to others asking for my help. I would not go out of my way to correct a female (beautiful or not) for all the reasons the OP states. Some women (and men) are receptive to advice and others are not. Pride comes before the fall. I will go out of my way and stop my workout to help someone who comes to me and wants assistance. To the know-it-alls with bad form and poor technique, your fall will come soon...and I will happily call 911 when you need itl, lol. :happy:
  • bcf7683
    bcf7683 Posts: 1,653 Member
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    Stop going to the gym.

    Wait, I meant dump him.

    .....what are we talking about?
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    The last time I gave an advice to a lady was when she was obviously clueless, and she didn't appear to be the kind that takes offense to constructive help. How did I know? Because I heard her asking questions about her workout to a guy in the next room. She wasn't attractive and she must have been at least 10 years my senior, so no, I wasn't hitting on her, I just wanted to help.
  • KPMP1992
    KPMP1992 Posts: 66
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    I would appreciate the advice.
  • Marley2310
    Marley2310 Posts: 304
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    Well u should know from his attitude if he's hitting or giving advice