I Do Not Want to be Thin
aubrey_11_baker
Posts: 14 Member
All too often at the beginning of weight loss journeys I hear people say (mostly women) that they want to be thin. Or, I want to lose XX amount of weight and be a size X. Why is this their ultimate goal? Why isn't the goal, instead, to be healthy? Why isn't the goal to love yourself?
I currently weight in at 232 pounds (13 pounds less than when I first started!). My goal is not to be thin. I love myself and I love my body, but my main goal is to become a healthier version of what already exists; losing weight is part of that process. I'll say it again: my goal is not to be thin.
If that is your goal, please assess why. If you are attempting to conform to pressures put on by the media, health magazines, and fitness nuts, then maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your goals. If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail. Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
Love yourself. Embrace the changes that you see in your body and use that as motivation. Find the ideal proportions for you. Not all of us will look good as a size 4.
I do not want to be thin. I want to find MY perfect size.
I currently weight in at 232 pounds (13 pounds less than when I first started!). My goal is not to be thin. I love myself and I love my body, but my main goal is to become a healthier version of what already exists; losing weight is part of that process. I'll say it again: my goal is not to be thin.
If that is your goal, please assess why. If you are attempting to conform to pressures put on by the media, health magazines, and fitness nuts, then maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate your goals. If you are attempting to look like them, chances are you will fail. Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
Love yourself. Embrace the changes that you see in your body and use that as motivation. Find the ideal proportions for you. Not all of us will look good as a size 4.
I do not want to be thin. I want to find MY perfect size.
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Replies
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I agree with you 100%!0
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I'm very much like you. When I started this weight loss plan nineteen months ago, I completed an extensive survey. I was asked why I wanted to do this and it was to get my mobility back. It was my mobility gains that have thrilled me the most. I am so much more agile and energetic. I am doing things I did not think possible a year ago.
My belly will NEVER bounce back to flat. I'm OK with that.0 -
Awesome! Agree 100 percent and it's also my goal to be healthy! My goal is to lose weight to be healthy and feel good in my own skin! Happy you feel that way too!0
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I'll be honest with you... why do people want to be "thin"? Because you cannot be truly healthy and be fat. H.A.E.S. does not exist; it just doesn't.
You dont have to be "skinny" but our bodies were designed to be lean and strong, period. And that isn't something that requires 2-4 hours in the gym.
Edited to add: I'm not even talking about aesthetics here, just the fact that our bodies were not designed to hold excess amounts of fat for an extended period of time. Since your post seemed to focus on the "look" of being skinny.
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rainbowbow wrote: »I'll be honest with you... why do people want to be "thin"? Because you cannot be truly healthy and be fat. H.A.E.S. does not exist; it just doesn't.
You dont have to be "skinny" but our bodies were designed to be lean and strong, period. And that isn't something that requires 2-4 hours in the gym.
This.
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My goal was never to be thin. I can see the trainers at the gym resisting rolling their eyes when they ask for my weight loss goal and I tell them that getting healthy is my goal; if weight loss happens as a side effect then I'm happy with that, too.0
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Why can't I love myself AND want to be thin? Why can't I want to be thin AND healthy? Why can't I want to get down to a BMI of 19.4 because it looks good AND it will help me become a better dancer and improve my aerobic performance? I aspire to be thin BECAUSE I love myself. I care a lot about what I do to my body. It's the only one I've got. I want to be at the best possible performance level.
People are more likely to pursue and achieve a measurable goal than an abstract one. "I want to get into the Normal BMI range" is going to be easier to track and monitor than, "I want to love myself." Loving yourself should come with ANY goal, but it doesn't have to be the only goal.
People talk about their goals in terms of lbs lost or ideal sizes because it's very personal to say, "My goal is to stop hating my body." People share goals that are weight related because that's how you set goals here and that's how you find other people with similar goals.
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OK. I'll say it.
It sounds like you're already making excuses for yourself, because you don't truly believe that you can get down to a healthy - slim - weight.
I recognize this, because I used to be that person, with those thought processes.
It's true that some people are aiming for "thin at any cost, who cares about health". But it's also true that in order to be healthy, you need to be not-fat. If you are serious about getting healthy, you are also serious about getting slim.0 -
I think because of things like what rainbowbow wrote, we confuse weight with health. Just because someone is thin does not mean they are healthy, and just because someone is overweight does not mean they are unhealthy. But people continually try to act like someone is either in perfect shape or else they are morbidly obese and most are too unintelligent to consider all of the possibilities in between those two extremes.0
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britishbroccoli wrote: »Why can't I love myself AND want to be thin? Why can't I want to be thin AND healthy? Why can't I want to get down to a BMI of 19.4 because it looks good AND it will help me become a better dancer and improve my aerobic performance? I aspire to be thin BECAUSE I love myself. I care a lot about what I do to my body. It's the only one I've got. I want to be at the best possible performance level.
People are more likely to pursue and achieve a measurable goal than an abstract one. "I want to get into the Normal BMI range" is going to be easier to track and monitor than, "I want to love myself." Loving yourself should come with ANY goal, but it doesn't have to be the only goal.
People talk about their goals in terms of lbs lost or ideal sizes because it's very personal to say, "My goal is to stop hating my body." People share goals that are weight related because that's how you set goals here and that's how you find other people with similar goals.
This. I'm glad you feel the way you do about your body, OP.
Me, I want a measurable goal to set, because if I wanted to be "healthy," I'm there, but my goal keeps me going to where I know I'll be even happier.0 -
britishbroccoli wrote: »Loving yourself should come with ANY goal, but it doesn't have to be the only goal.
This. Wanting to be a healthy weight with healthy habits IS self loving. Caring for your one and only body doesn't mean you "hate yourself" or are vain.
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Since when is "thin" unhealthy and just pressured by media? Why is this assumed? What about "I just don't like feeling like a fatass"?
You worry about your goals and let others worry about their own. Don't tell others how to determine their goals. Live and let live.0 -
AllonsYtotheTardis wrote: »OK. I'll say it.
It sounds like you're already making excuses for yourself, because you don't truly believe that you can get down to a healthy - slim - weight.
I recognize this, because I used to be that person, with those thought processes.
It's true that some people are aiming for "thin at any cost, who cares about health". But it's also true that in order to be healthy, you need to be not-fat. If you are serious about getting healthy, you are also serious about getting slim.
This.
I used to be in your shoes, OP. Similar starting weight, similar thought that I could be overweight and healthy at the same time. And, at 230lbs, I didn't know how bad I felt. I thought that those random aches and pains were part of life. I thought that it was normal to get out of breath when I walked up the stairs. I thought everyone who was a size 8 or smaller was killing themselves in the gym and surviving on lettuce. "I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable" was something I said often.
Then, I started losing weight. And I found that the more I lost, the better I felt. The more fit I became, the more I was able to do. And it's awesome to be leaner, lighter and healthier. And it doesn't take hours and hours in the gym or a diet of lettuce to achieve.
I'm not at my goal weight. I've been maintaining for a year or so, but I'm getting back into cutting so I can lose the last 20-25lbs. I'm thrilled with what I've achieved so far, but I'm excited to see what's next. I don't want to be burdened with health issues, so it's important to me to get to my goal weight.
Accepting your body and trying to create the best version of you is a worthwhile goal. But you should recognize that, over the long term, staying overweight will be a hindrance to your health.
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AllonsYtotheTardis wrote: »OK. I'll say it.
It sounds like you're already making excuses for yourself, because you don't truly believe that you can get down to a healthy - slim - weight.
I recognize this, because I used to be that person, with those thought processes.
It's true that some people are aiming for "thin at any cost, who cares about health". But it's also true that in order to be healthy, you need to be not-fat. If you are serious about getting healthy, you are also serious about getting slim.
Agree with this.
Make your goal to improve your health for sure, but your best health will come when you are strong and slim.0 -
I want to be thin and strong. I want to look good naked and fit in my skinny jeans again. I want to look as hot as I have ever been closer to 40 yo than in my 20s. I want to have enough energy to play with my kids. And I love myself.0
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AllonsYtotheTardis wrote: »OK. I'll say it.
It sounds like you're already making excuses for yourself, because you don't truly believe that you can get down to a healthy - slim - weight.
I recognize this, because I used to be that person, with those thought processes.
It's true that some people are aiming for "thin at any cost, who cares about health". But it's also true that in order to be healthy, you need to be not-fat. If you are serious about getting healthy, you are also serious about getting slim.
This.
I used to be in your shoes, OP. Similar starting weight, similar thought that I could be overweight and healthy at the same time. And, at 230lbs, I didn't know how bad I felt. I thought that those random aches and pains were part of life. I thought that it was normal to get out of breath when I walked up the stairs. I thought everyone who was a size 8 or smaller was killing themselves in the gym and surviving on lettuce. "I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and miserable" was something I said often.
Then, I started losing weight. And I found that the more I lost, the better I felt. The more fit I became, the more I was able to do. And it's awesome to be leaner, lighter and healthier. And it doesn't take hours and hours in the gym or a diet of lettuce to achieve.
I'm not at my goal weight. I've been maintaining for a year or so, but I'm getting back into cutting so I can lose the last 20-25lbs. I'm thrilled with what I've achieved so far, but I'm excited to see what's next. I don't want to be burdened with health issues, so it's important to me to get to my goal weight.
Accepting your body and trying to create the best version of you is a worthwhile goal. But you should recognize that, over the long term, staying overweight will be a hindrance to your health.
^QFT (Both posts above)0 -
Luckily being thin doesn't require 2-4 hours at the gym, just a few less minutes putting food in the mouth.
Having a fitness body could take that long but just being thin? Not so much.0 -
Luckily being thin doesn't require 2-4 hours at the gym, just a few less minutes putting food in the mouth.
Having a fitness body could take that long but just being thin? Not so much.
Agreed. I know that I used to say things like that as an excuse to give up and to "justify" why I couldn't change.0 -
One can be overweight and very healthy.
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That's not the same as HIAS, but as this graph shows, being slightly overweight is an advantage.
My goal is to achieve the overweight category and out of the obese range. My current BMI is 32 and all I have to drop is fifteen pounds to make the overweight range.
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I started at 280lbs, and got to a weight around 245 kind of naturally (stress of writing a thesis stopped and student loans coming due as a postdoc made penny pinching necessary and food was a good place to cut). Once I consciously made a decision to lose weight, I set a goal of 180. I hadn't been that weight since probably middle school, and it felt TINY.
Then, I got to 182, and I still felt fat. I've put on some weight since then thanks to the holidays and some issues with binging, but I figure I still have another 30lbs to lose. But, it's not about a specific size or weight (hell, my original goal was to be a size 12 just so I could shop in "normal" stores). Now I want to work on getting stronger, I'd like to be firm but balance my weight goal with what is a reasonable amount for me to eat to maintain that weight.
I have no clue what my actual goal will be, but I'm hoping I know it when I get close (I figure at some point I will just stop trying to lose and instead work on body composition).0 -
What's wrong with wanting to be thin, healthy AND love yourself? None of those things are mutually exclusive.0
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I also never wanted to be thin, I wanted to be healthy and I still do.
If you would have asked me when I started on this path or anytime before what size I wanted to be, I would have said a small size 8 and medium. I would have also said that I would look likely look terrible at a size 6 or anything <140 lbs. I was WRONG.
I'm now 130 lbs and size 4/6. I'm amazed at what I've been able to do with my body. I don't just love my body, I'm a bit in awe of it. So yes, I definitely agree that aiming for health is the best goal, but becoming thin or at least thinner tends to be a byproduct of that. Don't sell yourself short by telling yourself you can't or won't be thin.0 -
When I started I wanted to be a certain size because it was the size I was for 80% of my adult life (including after kids). I also set my weight goal for 'my normal' weight range. The conclusion I came to was...
A: It was going to be hard work.
B: It was going to be a lifestyle change.
C: I enjoy working out.
I take a lot of pride at what my body can now do.
I love my body and pushing my limits, more than the look though is the fact that I can lift things and do things I never thought I could do. I also figured that if I was going to work hard I might as well have the body I want. I am back to a size 6 but I weigh 20lbs more than the last time I was this size. I am technically over weight according to bmi (after the holidays, been slacking).
I agree OP, love your body but do not dismiss others as vain. My main goal is health, my resting heart rate is lower, my bp is lower, I handle stress better and my happiness and sex life have greatly improved. None of these things were even an issue for me but the improvement of them makes me a healthier, happier person.
My new goal is 18-19.5% body fat, should be a size 3 to 4 then with nothing jiggling unless I want it to. Call me vain but I work my *kitten* off and it is not 2-4 hrs daily, it is roughly 6 hrs a week. My other goals are purely fitness related.. 10 unassisted pull ups, squatting double body weight and benching body weight. Also mid delt strength (very weak there)
I also agree with a post above....over weight (carrying excess fat) is not healthy, even if current tests say your good...it does not mean it is healthy. Lean is healthy and if I love my body/self and work my *kitten* off (not literally, I work hard to keep my butt) I want to not only feel good, be healthy but I want to look good too.
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I dont want to be *thin* just slender...I love having curves too much. Semantics I guess LoL but the idea of someone calling me skinny makes me cringe!
Anyway, I set goals for myself so that I have something to work towards. An arbitrary "I want to be healthy" isnt enough...I need to have something specific that I can measure and work towards and have milestones that I can see my progress. At the moment, my defined goal is to be at the top of my healthy weight range according to my BMI, and I have mini goals along the way.
I already love myself, so thats not a good goal for me. On a good day, I feel pretty darn good and healthy, even though I'm overweight...so thats not a good goal for me either. Honestly, I think that no matter what someone weighs or how they look, they should love themselves. Thats a psychological / emotional goal, not a weight loss / fitness goal.
As far as health and fitness improvements go, and my reason for being on this site, I personally see no problem with setting, and reaching goals to achieve that!!
Not sure why you see that as a bad thing and encourage people not to have something specific to work towards! Do what works for you..for others, setting and achieving defined goals is an incredible feeling and very motivating!0 -
I'm "thin" by many standards. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin. It's great that you are working towards healthy, but suggesting that a woman only wants to be thin because of society is a form of body shaming.0
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »..... Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
...
How much time do plan to spend being active?
Fitness requires exercise of some sort. It certainly does not require 2-4 hr a day. Where do you get that idea?
Now, if the above post is intended to say you plan to be active exercise an average of 20min a day (as per recommendations) then fine. If you are writing it to say that you are going to do NO exercise, then you are lying to yourself - health and fitness require some exercise.
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Simply put, most of us do not have the time or motivation to be at the gym 2-4 hours a day to achieve a body like those we all envy.
I'm a competitive bodybuilder (and a single parent with a full time job). Fat loss happens outside the gym. Fat loss is eating appropriately for your goals. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week for 45 minutes. I do effective workouts.
I think your perception on how to get a lean body is skewed.
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I was only 45 lbs overweight, but losing that weight got me off of blood pressure meds, and diabetic meds. My resting heart rate went from 80 to 60. So even though now I am a size 2-4, for me it is not just about aesthetics. (thought that is a great perk) I believe being overweight will eventually catch up to you and effect your health.0
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One more thought. For some people healthy does equate to thin. As a breast cancer survivor, my goal of being at a normal BMI is because fat cells produce estrogen and my cancer was sensitive to estrogen. There are some studies suggesting that a lower BMI supports longer survival times. Otherwise I'm healthy - on no drugs except for the ones associated with cancer, and I can and do walk for miles each week. So perhaps this Is more of an individual determination, and have others have said, does not need to be an either or decision.0
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