I Do Not Want to be Thin
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
We aren't against your goal of just getting healthier. That's a great goal! You absolutely do not have to try to be "thin" or "skinny" or look like a fitness model.
We had a problem with you putting other goals down. You also made it seem like having a great body is beyond reach for the average person, when it isn't.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
You posted a topic on a sensitive topic that sparked a pretty interesting discussion. Why don't you try having a conversation with those who see this post differently than you do instead of throwing up your hands, taking your toys, and going home?
"Pack of wolves"? Really? This has to be one of the tamest threads on this sort of thing that I've ever seen here.
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diannethegeek wrote: »aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
You posted a topic on a sensitive topic that sparked a pretty interesting discussion. Why don't you try having a conversation with those who see this post differently than you do instead of throwing up your hands, taking your toys, and going home?
"Pack of wolves"? Really? This has to be one of the tamest threads on this sort of thing that I've ever seen here.
Very true. Most of the comments were hardly attacking or rude. This was very tame.0 -
I totally agree with you too! I don't want to be too skinny or too big but I want to find my perfect size. I want to be at a weight where my back won't hurt so much.0
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There's this dichotomy where people tell you to "lose weight for yourself" but they criticize your motivations for not being the "right" ones.1
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My goal is to be thin and healthy. Nothing to do with media, I feel more attractive when I am thin. Personal preference and nothing is wrong with it.0
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So, I'm not trying to diss on anybody else's goals. But seriously, do what you want for yourself and not to appease others or fit the "ideal" set forth by media outlets. I've seen it all to often with people I know around my weight that they set huge goals and when they don't reach them, they give up which is the worst thing you can do. I guess my main point is what I've said several times, I don't want to be thin, and it's ok if others feel that way too. I think it's harder for women particularly to admit that their goal isn't to be thin.0
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I wanted to be lean and healthy. Now I want to stay lean and HEALTHY.
I'm probably considered thin. I have no problem with that either.0 -
Ridley2011 wrote: »One more thought. For some people healthy does equate to thin. As a breast cancer survivor, my goal of being at a normal BMI is because fat cells produce estrogen and my cancer was sensitive to estrogen. There are some studies suggesting that a lower BMI supports longer survival times. Otherwise I'm healthy - on no drugs except for the ones associated with cancer, and I can and do walk for miles each week. So perhaps this Is more of an individual determination, and have others have said, does not need to be an either or decision.
GREAT point0 -
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I don't necessarily want to be thin. 1- I love my curves, and 2- I've never been thin, even as a child. So I suppose the idea of thinness is unknown to me :-)
I want to be healthy. Healthy will mean thinner. I want to lose right around 100lb, because that's what I put on after having kids, and 100 pounds lighter felt like an awesome shape and weight for me. I was healthier. But if that goal changes to 150 pounds? or 80? So be it, as long as the end result is a healthier me.0 -
I have been thin. The first 30 years of my life I was skinny. I have been fat. For 20 years I was around 268 pounds. I like myself better thin. Does that make me shallow? Maybe. I don't care. My health is important to me, but so is feeling good about how I look.0
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You know, if you had found a way to say "it's okay to strive for a different body style than the ones you most typically see in the media," nobody would've had an issue with your post. We had a problem with the fact that you equated being "thin" with spending an unhealthy and unreasonable amount of time at the gym each day. Some of the women earlier in the thread who criticized your post, like usmcmp and Sarauk2sf, are gorgeous and have very different body styles than those you typically see in the media. I'd bet most of the women commenting here would've been supportive of your topic if you hadn't taken a potshot at thin women.0
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I don't see what's wrong with wanting to be thin. When I'm thin, my clothes fit me well, and it's easier to find clothes that fit. I don't get holes in my pants from my thighs rubbing together. The thinner I am, the faster I can run. I like how I look when I'm thin. I don't get as hot in the summer when I have less fat on my body. It's much easier to paint my toenails when I'm thin.
I look great as a size 4 or even a size 2, and I don't need to spend hours in the gym every day to achieve or maintain that size. If I did want to spend that much time in the gym, I would find time - wake up early, go to bed late, cut something else out of my day. There is always time.
You asked in your original post why people who want to be thin have that goal, and there are my reasons. Has nothing to do with people's expectations of me. If you just want to be healthy, and don't care about being thin, that's fine, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin. There are plenty of legitimate reasons for it.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »So, I'm not trying to diss on anybody else's goals. But seriously, do what you want for yourself and not to appease others or fit the "ideal" set forth by media outlets. I've seen it all to often with people I know around my weight that they set huge goals and when they don't reach them, they give up which is the worst thing you can do. I guess my main point is what I've said several times, I don't want to be thin, and it's ok if others feel that way too. I think it's harder for women particularly to admit that their goal isn't to be thin.
Not for you apparently, since you rushed to share that on the public forums in a judgy sounding post. Should you should get a pat on the back or something? Sometimes I wish people would lurk a little more before posting. It would save them a lot of grief, knowhatimean?0 -
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I want to be thin for the sausage
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »So, I'm not trying to diss on anybody else's goals. But seriously, do what you want for yourself and not to appease others or fit the "ideal" set forth by media outlets. I've seen it all to often with people I know around my weight that they set huge goals and when they don't reach them, they give up which is the worst thing you can do. I guess my main point is what I've said several times, I don't want to be thin, and it's ok if others feel that way too. I think it's harder for women particularly to admit that their goal isn't to be thin.
Your logic is a big ole fail.
"I'm not trying to diss on anybody else's goals" - but you are
'But seriously, do what you want for yourself and not to appease others or fit the "ideal" set forth by media outlets.' - assumptions again as to what people are motivated by
"They set huge goals and when they don't reach them, they give up which is the worst thing you can do" - that has nothing to do with the rest of what you posted
Tip: mind your own business and stop making glaring assumptions, condescending posts and judgemental assertions.
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »What is your definition of thin?
I am relatively lean. Being lean has nothing to do with whether I love myself or whether I a trying to conform to any stereotype. In fact, I do not conform to the stereotype of my demographic and I am perfectly good with that.
OP, your post makes a lot of rather ignorant assumptions and is condescending and, basically, pretty terrible. People can have preferences regarding aesthetics and, shocking, I know, they can be different to others, as can motivations and reasons as to why they doe something. Stop trying to put everyone in your box. I would not like being in it at all. My athletic performance would be negatively impacted, potentially my health and well being, and I would have aesthetics that I would be less happy with if I were to settle for being rather overweight (and no, preference for a certain BF% =/= hating yourself if not at that BF%).
I'm not condemning thin people in any way, shape, or form. I'm just saying what's on my mind. God the internet is a harsh place.
No, but you are apparently condemning people (or at least patronizing them) for wanting to be thin.
And yes, the internet can be harsh, and it usually is to people who make narrow minded posts like your OP.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
Seriously? I thought that what a lot of people posted was actually pretty motivational. Just because they disagree doesn't mean they are "negative". If anything, I found your post a bit on the negative nancy side of things.0 -
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I had a check up with my GP recently, he asked me what my goal was, and I don't think I could have offered a more worthless answer to his question than if I had said "To love myself."
I said I want to get down to a healthy BMI (which I think is just another way of saying "thin." i.e. Not underweight, not overweight, and certainly not obese.)
I feel your OP was written to an adolescent girl.
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I want to be strong, healthy and fit, whatever size that is works for me; actually I feel pretty strong, healthy and fit right now, but goals to stay and be even more strong, fit and healthy are a good thing.0
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
If you want to post your opinion about something and not have people reply, try the blog feature.
Oh, and to be OT, I want to be "thin" so doctors will take my medical problems seriously instead of scripting out the standard "lose weight".
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I agree with you, people should do what is best for them, not society.I'm "thin" by many standards. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be thin. It's great that you are working towards healthy, but suggesting that a woman only wants to be thin because of society is a form of body shaming.
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I am at a normal BMI now, but I want to get a little lower in the normal range, but I don't really care about BMI, I am focused on body fat.One can be overweight and very healthy..png)
That's not the same as HIAS, but as this graph shows, being slightly overweight is an advantage.
My goal is to achieve the overweight category and out of the obese range. My current BMI is 32 and all I have to drop is fifteen pounds to make the overweight range.
That said, when I started this I was obese (over 30 BMI is not overweight, it is obese) and I felt and looked pretty bad. I still loved myself, yes, but I sure didn't want to keep living like that. There is plenty of evidence of how bad being obese is for your health. For the first time my fasting blood sugar went over 100, that was when I said enough is enough. I have all my great numbers back now, my Doctor is happy and so am I.
I also am no longer bothered by my hiatal hernia, the one that was making my life miserable when I was obese, no GERD anymore, not even heartburn.
There is loving yourself as you are but knowing you should take better care of yourself, then there is denial, and it is not a river in Egypt.0 -
aubrey_11_baker wrote: »So, I'm not trying to diss on anybody else's goals. But seriously, do what you want for yourself and not to appease others or fit the "ideal" set forth by media outlets. I've seen it all to often with people I know around my weight that they set huge goals and when they don't reach them, they give up which is the worst thing you can do. I guess my main point is what I've said several times, I don't want to be thin, and it's ok if others feel that way too. I think it's harder for women particularly to admit that their goal isn't to be thin.
Not for you apparently, since you rushed to share that on the public forums in a judgy sounding post. Should you should get a pat on the back or something? Sometimes I wish people would lurk a little more before posting. It would save them a lot of grief, knowhatimean?
Yep, knowhatchamean!0 -
I'm going to go ahead and understand where OP is coming from, because it fits how I've always felt. It hurts me to see other heavy women (and non-heavy women) fretting over what their jean size is because they think that's what their worth is based on. I never felt the need to be thin or look a certain way. I don't have low self esteem. I know that as a human being, I'm pretty great, so I just sort of pushed all of the physical stuff to the side. I don't have high blood pressure (the reactions from the nurses always seems to be a veiled form of "Wow! You're fat and have good bp!"). I don't have diabetes or high cholesterol. However, I can't tie my shoes like a normal person (damn near asphyxiated myself trying to tie them on the bus when my gut pushed into my diaphragm), my feet and knees are in agony, I need help from attendants to be buckled into amusement park rides, and so I want to lose weight because I can't function well the way I am. I don't care much what size I get to. My main goal is to get out of the obesity range, but other than that, I'm good. I don't think OP meant to attack anyone for wanting a certain result. She's just coming from a different place.0
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aubrey_11_baker wrote: »Ugh. This is why I refrain from ever posting anything here. Make 1 mistake and everybody jumps you like a pack of wolves. So much negativity. I was in no way saying people shouldn't be thin and lean. I'm just sharing that that isn't my personal goal and it doesn't have to be everybody's goal. Looking for support and most of what I see here is negative backlash. Thank you to those who liked my post and may have found a bit of motivation.
If you want to post your opinion about something and not have people reply, try the blog feature.
Oh, and to be OT, I want to be "thin" so doctors will take my medical problems seriously instead of scripting out the standard "lose weight".
That's actually a really good point that I hadn't thought about.0 -
PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »I'm going to go ahead and understand where OP is coming from, because it fits how I've always felt. It hurts me to see other heavy women (and non-heavy women) fretting over what their jean size is because they think that's what their worth is based on. I never felt the need to be thin or look a certain way. I don't have low self esteem. I know that as a human being, I'm pretty great, so I just sort of pushed all of the physical stuff to the side. I don't have high blood pressure (the reactions from the nurses always seems to be a veiled form of "Wow! You're fat and have good bp!"). I don't have diabetes or high cholesterol. However, I can't tie my shoes like a normal person (damn near asphyxiated myself trying to tie them on the bus when my gut pushed into my diaphragm), my feet and knees are in agony, I need help from attendants to be buckled into amusement park rides, and so I want to lose weight because I can't function well the way I am. I don't care much what size I get to. My main goal is to get out of the obesity range, but other than that, I'm good. I don't think OP meant to attack anyone for wanting a certain result. She's just coming from a different place.
That's understandable. Many of us started out with the same types of goals. To fit in an airplane seat without spilling into someone else's seat. To not max out the weight on a water slide and have to do the walk of shame.
The issue is over a single paragraph. Insinuating that the only reason for wanting to be thin is because of society and stating that you have to do absurd amounts of exercise daily to achieve a great body. Those statements are wrong and offensive.0
This discussion has been closed.
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