To all the MFP MEANIES and know it alls, this is for you
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Owning up to your mistake is the reason you'll be successful. Over the course of your journey you'll have to face many mistakes you've been making your whole life. We all do. In my opinion, this is what make MFP such a wonderful tool. Close friends don't have the guts to tell you you're making a mistake. I agree that we can sometimes be more sensitive about it. But the majority of the people here mean well.
Good luck!0 -
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I didn't see the original post but I'm impressed how you turned it all around and made it into a good thing in the end. Like so many others have said...this is why you will be successful. This is not the place to come for validation...it's where you come to kick butt and make positive change. Congratulations and best wishes!0
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A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.
You're very brave for doing this. The rewards of your sacrifice will be yours and yours only. No amount of evil from people with no filters or concern for hurting others will take that away. Keep looking for people who are here to really help you and just ignore those that believe are better than the rest. They're only making fools of themselves.0 -
Laineymacksmom wrote: »I'm glad you're giving it another shot and I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish mean people would just realize how harmful they truly are. Your post is great.
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A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.
Welcome back. But I want to tell you something; there is no excuse for people being jerks. Mocking and belittling anyone is not needed here. What's needed is support.
Now, if people post here with every excuse under the sun of why they aren't losing weight- expect to be called out on them. But truly, people don't have to be mean about it.
And a suggestion: stay away from any discussion that is about : Detoxing or very low calorie diets. The big gun comments come out for those, lol.
Wishing you more good experiences on MFP.
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Is everyone reading the same posts from the OP as I am? She is saying that the bluntness helped her realize she was just looking for affirmation and enablers. She is THANKING the mean people, not blaming them.0
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Is everyone reading the same posts from the OP as I am? She is saying that the bluntness helped her realize she was just looking for affirmation and enablers. She is THANKING the mean people, not blaming them.
A majority of people get it. There are a few I think that just read the title and skimmed the first few sentences before they decided to write their response. *smh*
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I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.0 -
I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
OP I am going to just save your lovely synopsis for the next "Why Can't I Lose Weight" thread. Again, I know everyone has been saying it, but I wish more OP's would have the guts to come back and do what you did.
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I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
You...I like!0 -
A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.
Welcome back. But I want to tell you something; there is no excuse for people being jerks. Mocking and belittling anyone is not needed here. What's needed is support.
Now, if people post here with every excuse under the sun of why they aren't losing weight- expect to be called out on them. But truly, people don't have to be mean about it.
And a suggestion: stay away from any discussion that is about : Detoxing or very low calorie diets. The big gun comments come out for those, lol.
Wishing you more good experiences on MFP.
Point is, people were not being jerks.0 -
Thank you all. In all honesty, I've been dieting my whole life. Lost 50 lbs using MFP in 2012 and gained it back. I was living in denial. But someone responded to my initial post "you're at a weight now that's heavier you've ever been (including when 9 months pregnant) and you're trying to find internet strangers tell you that you are being honest with your diary and calorie log? I find that hard to believe and think you're lying". The responses that I thought were "mean" were, in fact, not. I regret deleting the post, I do. I wasn't being honest with myself, I get that.
I believe I felt like I was being mobbed because everyone was saying the same thing, pretty much I was doing it wrong. That's a hard pill to swallow. Not to say that there aren't people on here just looking for drama and to make fun of people, I only felt like those responses came after I started having, for lack of a better word, a temper tantrum.
Those "mean" responses had an affect on me. Personally, I appreciate someone having the balls to tell me the truth, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. It was what I needed to hear. Ok enough rambling.:)
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tinascar2015 wrote: »I still don't condone the mob mentality and ganging up on people who post here when they're at their lowest point and emotionally frayed. I think some threads devolve into mocking and LOLing right away. Some people just come here knowing nothing and looking for people with similar experiences. Good for you for coming back, but I wonder how many people never do.
People that write this stuff are usually the ones that don't ever help the OP with good advice. Are you helping the noobs? or are you just criticizing the people that do take time to respond? Sorry, but I've been on here for 2 years now and have seen so much of this attitude. Show us "meanies" how we're supposed to do it---lead by example. OP--loved your post. Thanks for the lift.
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srslybritt wrote: »tinascar2015 wrote: »I still don't condone the mob mentality and ganging up on people who post here when they're at their lowest point and emotionally frayed. I think some threads devolve into mocking and LOLing right away. Some people just come here knowing nothing and looking for people with similar experiences. Good for you for coming back, but I wonder how many people never do.
Dissenting opinions and unapologetic honesty =/= "mob mentality." In fact, there are several people here--usmcmp is one of them--who consistently answer the same questions and dispell the same myths, day in and day out. Does it get old? Yeah. Sometimes you have to laugh to get over the sheer redundancy of the culture of the forums here.
People come here looking for quick fixes and shortcuts. There are not many others who are willing to stand up and be the honest ones and tell them it's not possible. It's often thankless, but nobody is obligated to do it. They do it because they want to help. So you should probably think about the real mentality of that mob.
^This!
Way to go, OP!! It's very difficult to break habit and even harder to hear things you don't want to hear. It's a wonderful thing you've broke through and turned things around. Please continue down this path, you can do it! You've gotten through the hardest part.
Sometimes it's easier to read forums like a textbook. In a textbook there are no "feels", just boring facts (except broscience, there's no fact there, that's like reading off the bathroom stall). When people read things on forum they project "feels"
into the text and read things as "mean" even when the poster replying is just laying down mundane info they've done a million times. At times, people get sarcastic to keep from going insane. Writing the same info over and over can do that to a person.
So, next time just read info in Ben Stein's voice
or not, but, whatever you do, remember if people are giving you info they aren't doing it to hurt your feelings they are just trying to get the info out as straight forward as possible, if someone is trolling then they are a troll and just ignore the trolls. 
I wish you great success!0 -
This calls for some dancing Hiddles!I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
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OP, you go, girl!
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Perception and accountability is half the battle.
Yep!
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I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
LOVE this!!! So honest, concise & hilariously well-written, you win the internet today! 0 -
I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
MFP: open your diary
Me: I don't log consistently
MFP: that's your problem
Me: no I don't think so
MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
Me: but I do eat at a deficit
MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
MFP: come back when you want help
Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
Me: DELETE! There I showed them.
Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
I 100% agree with the bolded.
Glad you came back OP0 -
Missy..,
I don't normally chime in on the forums, but I have to say welcome back, and to hell with the jerks.
It is regretful that your original post was full of negativity and mean girl politics.. that sucks and it is inexcusable.
We don't need tough love buttercup motivators here, you might be able to turn that negative experience around and find some positive results in it, but that is something that is intrinsic within you. I applaud you for not giving up, and for finding a way to reframe your thought process.
I have no friends connected on here, and no strangers for that matter. Other opinions mean less to me than how my clothes are fitting and how my energy level is changing. But it doesn't mean that I am resistant to being hurt by other people's unkind words.
Take it one day at a time, and if you need or feel you need validation, don't try to get it through other people's opinions.... they need their own validation and sometimes taking an innocent soul down with them is the form of validation that they crave.
Be well, Be positive, and just
Be.0 -
Good luck!
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@RedRockChic (and a few others)
You need to reread the original post in its entirety. Her point is that people weren't being mean, but that she was interpreting it as mean b/c she wasn't hearing what she wanted to hear. That she's come back to say that is incredible and she will be very successful.
In over six months here, I have literally never seen anyone be what I would call mean to someone else.
What really grinds my gears? The White Knight posts that add absolutely nothing of substance other than vacant positivity, often in support of demonstrably Bad Ideas (R). Those are the real "mean people."0 -
PikaKnight wrote: »Laineymacksmom wrote: »I'm glad you're giving it another shot and I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish mean people would just realize how harmful they truly are. Your post is great.
:huh:
Except they weren't harmful. :huh:
I think you need to reread the post.
And so should you0 -
A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.
Welcome back. But I want to tell you something; there is no excuse for people being jerks. Mocking and belittling anyone is not needed here. What's needed is support.
Now, if people post here with every excuse under the sun of why they aren't losing weight- expect to be called out on them. But truly, people don't have to be mean about it.
And a suggestion: stay away from any discussion that is about : Detoxing or very low calorie diets. The big gun comments come out for those, lol.
Wishing you more good experiences on MFP.
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Laineymacksmom wrote: »I'm glad you're giving it another shot and I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish mean people would just realize how harmful they truly are. Your post is great.
epic misread of OP0 -
It's interesting to see how many people are reading into it that people are jerks instead of seeing it as the OP overreacted in the deleted post. She even came back to say that after thinking about it there was nothing mean about what was said.0
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It's interesting to see how many people are reading into it that people are jerks instead of seeing it as the OP overreacted in the deleted post. She even came back to say that after thinking about it there was nothing mean about what was said.
Totally this. The irony is that what these people are reading into her post, is what her initial reaction was to the comments in the original thread. Not understanding the difference between honesty and negativity. That not sugar coating something does not equal meanness.
The fact that the OP recognized the mistake that she made, came back and admitted it, and thanked the mean people is so refreshing.
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This discussion has been closed.
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