To all the MFP MEANIES and know it alls, this is for you

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  • shmulyeng
    shmulyeng Posts: 472 Member
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    Owning up to your mistake is the reason you'll be successful. Over the course of your journey you'll have to face many mistakes you've been making your whole life. We all do. In my opinion, this is what make MFP such a wonderful tool. Close friends don't have the guts to tell you you're making a mistake. I agree that we can sometimes be more sensitive about it. But the majority of the people here mean well.

    Good luck!
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    :smile:
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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  • amy8400
    amy8400 Posts: 478 Member
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    I didn't see the original post but I'm impressed how you turned it all around and made it into a good thing in the end. Like so many others have said...this is why you will be successful. This is not the place to come for validation...it's where you come to kick butt and make positive change. Congratulations and best wishes!
  • kmorales_4
    kmorales_4 Posts: 208 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
    THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
    So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
    Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.

    You're very brave for doing this. The rewards of your sacrifice will be yours and yours only. No amount of evil from people with no filters or concern for hurting others will take that away. Keep looking for people who are here to really help you and just ignore those that believe are better than the rest. They're only making fools of themselves.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    I'm glad you're giving it another shot and I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish mean people would just realize how harmful they truly are. Your post is great.

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  • FitOldMomma
    FitOldMomma Posts: 790 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
    THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
    So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
    Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.


    Welcome back. But I want to tell you something; there is no excuse for people being jerks. Mocking and belittling anyone is not needed here. What's needed is support.

    Now, if people post here with every excuse under the sun of why they aren't losing weight- expect to be called out on them. But truly, people don't have to be mean about it.

    And a suggestion: stay away from any discussion that is about : Detoxing or very low calorie diets. The big gun comments come out for those, lol.

    Wishing you more good experiences on MFP.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    Is everyone reading the same posts from the OP as I am? She is saying that the bluntness helped her realize she was just looking for affirmation and enablers. She is THANKING the mean people, not blaming them.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Kruggeri wrote: »
    Is everyone reading the same posts from the OP as I am? She is saying that the bluntness helped her realize she was just looking for affirmation and enablers. She is THANKING the mean people, not blaming them.

    A majority of people get it. There are a few I think that just read the title and skimmed the first few sentences before they decided to write their response. *smh*
  • missyjg99
    missyjg99 Posts: 246 Member
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    I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
    Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
    MFP: open your diary
    Me: I don't log consistently
    MFP: that's your problem
    Me: no I don't think so
    MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
    Me: but I do eat at a deficit
    MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
    Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
    MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
    Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
    MFP: come back when you want help
    Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
    MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
    Me: DELETE! There I showed them.

    Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
    Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
    MFP: open your diary
    Me: I don't log consistently
    MFP: that's your problem
    Me: no I don't think so
    MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
    Me: but I do eat at a deficit
    MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
    Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
    MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
    Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
    MFP: come back when you want help
    Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
    MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
    Me: DELETE! There I showed them.

    Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.

    OP I am going to just save your lovely synopsis for the next "Why Can't I Lose Weight" thread. Again, I know everyone has been saying it, but I wish more OP's would have the guts to come back and do what you did.

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  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
    Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
    MFP: open your diary
    Me: I don't log consistently
    MFP: that's your problem
    Me: no I don't think so
    MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
    Me: but I do eat at a deficit
    MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
    Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
    MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
    Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
    MFP: come back when you want help
    Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
    MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
    Me: DELETE! There I showed them.

    Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.

    You...I like!
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    oldmomma wrote: »
    missyjg99 wrote: »
    A couple of weeks ago I posted on this board about my struggles losing weight and asked for insight on why I wasn't losing weight. Well I eagerly waited responses and was floored when I read what was being written in response. I felt I was being ganged up on, people getting a laugh at my expense! I ended up deleting my post, cried and ate an entire sleeve of Oreos. I was literally at rock bottom, looking for help and all I got was responses from mean girls wannabe' s. I wasn't going to write a response to how y'all made me feel. But after two weeks of going over that post in my mind, I just wanna say one thing:
    THANK YOU!!! In all sincerity, thank you. I realized something from that post. I was looking for validation and coddling for my bad choices and that wasn't going to do me any good. The only one who didn't realize that was me. So I'm coming back to tell everyone thank you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your time, thank you for your suggestions and mostly thank you for responding. I didn't accept your suggestions as anything but mean bc lets face it, what I was doing wasn't working and how could I be wrong!!
    So I apologize for being such a jerk to some of you. And I thank you all for kicking my butt into the right direction.... errrrr right road to reaching my goals.
    Oh and if this post shows up twice it's because I typed it out and it seemed to disappear. So I'm typing it again.


    Welcome back. But I want to tell you something; there is no excuse for people being jerks. Mocking and belittling anyone is not needed here. What's needed is support.

    Now, if people post here with every excuse under the sun of why they aren't losing weight- expect to be called out on them. But truly, people don't have to be mean about it.

    And a suggestion: stay away from any discussion that is about : Detoxing or very low calorie diets. The big gun comments come out for those, lol.

    Wishing you more good experiences on MFP.

    Point is, people were not being jerks.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    Thank you all. In all honesty, I've been dieting my whole life. Lost 50 lbs using MFP in 2012 and gained it back. I was living in denial. But someone responded to my initial post "you're at a weight now that's heavier you've ever been (including when 9 months pregnant) and you're trying to find internet strangers tell you that you are being honest with your diary and calorie log? I find that hard to believe and think you're lying". The responses that I thought were "mean" were, in fact, not. I regret deleting the post, I do. I wasn't being honest with myself, I get that.
    I believe I felt like I was being mobbed because everyone was saying the same thing, pretty much I was doing it wrong. That's a hard pill to swallow. Not to say that there aren't people on here just looking for drama and to make fun of people, I only felt like those responses came after I started having, for lack of a better word, a temper tantrum.
    Those "mean" responses had an affect on me. Personally, I appreciate someone having the balls to tell me the truth, even though it wasn't what I wanted to hear. It was what I needed to hear. Ok enough rambling.:)

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  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    I still don't condone the mob mentality and ganging up on people who post here when they're at their lowest point and emotionally frayed. I think some threads devolve into mocking and LOLing right away. Some people just come here knowing nothing and looking for people with similar experiences. Good for you for coming back, but I wonder how many people never do.

    People that write this stuff are usually the ones that don't ever help the OP with good advice. Are you helping the noobs? or are you just criticizing the people that do take time to respond? Sorry, but I've been on here for 2 years now and have seen so much of this attitude. Show us "meanies" how we're supposed to do it---lead by example. OP--loved your post. Thanks for the lift. B)
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
    edited March 2015
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    srslybritt wrote: »
    I still don't condone the mob mentality and ganging up on people who post here when they're at their lowest point and emotionally frayed. I think some threads devolve into mocking and LOLing right away. Some people just come here knowing nothing and looking for people with similar experiences. Good for you for coming back, but I wonder how many people never do.

    Dissenting opinions and unapologetic honesty =/= "mob mentality." In fact, there are several people here--usmcmp is one of them--who consistently answer the same questions and dispell the same myths, day in and day out. Does it get old? Yeah. Sometimes you have to laugh to get over the sheer redundancy of the culture of the forums here.

    People come here looking for quick fixes and shortcuts. There are not many others who are willing to stand up and be the honest ones and tell them it's not possible. It's often thankless, but nobody is obligated to do it. They do it because they want to help. So you should probably think about the real mentality of that mob.

    ^This!
    You-Got-It-Dude.gif

    Way to go, OP!! It's very difficult to break habit and even harder to hear things you don't want to hear. It's a wonderful thing you've broke through and turned things around. Please continue down this path, you can do it! You've gotten through the hardest part.

    Sometimes it's easier to read forums like a textbook. In a textbook there are no "feels", just boring facts (except broscience, there's no fact there, that's like reading off the bathroom stall). When people read things on forum they project "feels" tumblr_inline_n0yygtGSiu1s4j1fd.gif
    into the text and read things as "mean" even when the poster replying is just laying down mundane info they've done a million times. At times, people get sarcastic to keep from going insane. Writing the same info over and over can do that to a person. n4bi37.gif
    So, next time just read info in Ben Stein's voice R7hVf4v.jpg or not, but, whatever you do, remember if people are giving you info they aren't doing it to hurt your feelings they are just trying to get the info out as straight forward as possible, if someone is trolling then they are a troll and just ignore the trolls. please-dont-feed-the-trolls_o_574238.jpg

    I wish you great success!
  • AmyRhubarb
    AmyRhubarb Posts: 6,890 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
    Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
    MFP: open your diary
    Me: I don't log consistently
    MFP: that's your problem
    Me: no I don't think so
    MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
    Me: but I do eat at a deficit
    MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
    Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
    MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
    Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
    MFP: come back when you want help
    Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
    MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
    Me: DELETE! There I showed them.

    Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.
    This calls for some dancing Hiddles!
    tumblr_nhpt3oPSrV1u2la4eo3_250.gif


  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    OP, you go, girl! <3
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    Perception and accountability is half the battle.

    Yep!

  • kazaargrandcru
    kazaargrandcru Posts: 152 Member
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    missyjg99 wrote: »
    I think it's confusing bc I don't have a link to my original post. Nutshell.....
    Me: I'm not losing weight, working out 6 days a week eating healthy
    MFP: open your diary
    Me: I don't log consistently
    MFP: that's your problem
    Me: no I don't think so
    MFP: yep, you can work out 60 minutes every day but if you don't have a calorie deficit you won't lose, it's science.
    Me: but I do eat at a deficit
    MFP: I don't believe you, how do you know that??
    Me: meanies: stomping my feet :
    MFP: this won't help you're cause. Insert Michael Jackson eating popcorn
    Me: you're all jerks and why can't you be helpful? I'm at a low and no one is helping me!!!
    MFP: come back when you want help
    Me: but I need suggestions, why is everyone ganging up on me?
    MFP: insert rainbow farting rainbow, puppies, crying gifs.
    Me: DELETE! There I showed them.

    Ya know that was the condensed version. But looking back there was nothing really horribly mean about the responses. That's my point. Perception and accountability is half the battle.

    LOVE this!!! So honest, concise & hilariously well-written, you win the internet today! <3