My Husband!.... NOT ATTRACTED TO ME!
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I say play dumb and give him access to lots of junk foods while you are secretly taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Then when is pudge gets pudgier, tell him he's too fat for you and move on.
All kidding aside, every woman deserves someone to love her regardless of her weight. What happens when you have children and get stretch marks? Or what if you got cancer and lost your hair? He's not the type of guy to support you through the good times and bad. I say cut your loses and find a real man. A nice butt and slim frame can't hide the fact that he's just an ugly person! Good luck!0 -
enterdanger wrote: »um, I agree with the people who say weight isn't the issue. Not sure how open your marriage is, but if my husband ever discussed our sex life with another woman and then told that woman he was attracted to her I would throat punch him. Then I'd get a divorce lawyer.
I'm not saying this is what you should do, just what I would do. Then I would get counseling for myself because I would be totally distraught.
THIS IS AWESOME! "throat punch him" haha!
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chrissyfitter wrote: »Can I ask your age. I think you should get an annulment asap. If he is looking to other women already your in for a long road of hurt. Get out while it's still new before you get stuck in the pattern of him saying oh I love you it won't happen again. But it will trust me. I'm married 6 years and he has never made me feel I can't trust him. If he did I wouldn't stay with him.
It's not grounds for an annulment. I posted the requirements for an annulment on a previous page.
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Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?0 -
My first marriage lasted 4 months (plus the time it took to divorce). No regrets. I learned later on that he had flirted with my bridesmaid (very suggestively) on the day of the wedding...
You're better off without him!!!0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.
Caught my BF (at the time) cheating with his ex. She wrote me a very nasty email to let me know what they were doing together. I wrote her back told her I was a good person and I didn't know why she would hurt my feelings that way and that she could have him if that's what he was really like. She wrote me back that she was sooo sorry and that she was mad and jealous and I didn't deserve that. So she called me on the phone when I was with him and we all had a nice little chat.......he cried like a little B!tch, and we both dumped his butt. It felt good, I think she thought that I was gonna be a mean person so she came in on the defensive. Glad we worked that out, it was very cleansing lol.
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acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin0 -
Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
She only read the OP.0 -
emmydoodles83 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »SconnieCat wrote: »ok, so all the folks saying this is bad, and that this is the lowest of the low...
how many ya'll cheated in the past? #gauntlet #barbarianneedsfoodbadly
hahaha. Not me, sunshine. I caught my ex (at the time he was my fiance) cheating on me the night before a wedding we had both gone to. Thankfully it wasn't our wedding.
Anyway, after the wedding rehearsal festivities died down, a group of us were hanging out. I went to go to bed when the group started breaking up since I was exhausted and ended up passing out for a few hours. I woke up, realized he wasn't next to me and went to find him. We were at an outdoor wedding a bit in the boonies so I wanted from the camping tent we were sleeping in to the renovated barn (very redneck meets hipster) we had been hanging out in before.
As I approached the barn, I saw the lights on but the doors were shut. I looked through one of the slats in the barn door, ready to open the door when I realized that he was standing and she was *ahem* driving downtown to get some ice cream so-to-speak. I tried to open the door, found it was locked, and started beating on it.
She escaped out of a side door with her dog. No one was around except the three of us and, not thinking clearly, I took off after her to absolutely beat the snot out of her. She was much faster than I was so I never got to throw any punches; however, when my ex caught up to me, he started spewing apologies left and right. I remember taking off the ring, handing it to him, telling him to go eff himself, and then walking three feet and throwing all up.
Thankfully I saw what he was before I vowed to spend the rest of my life with him.
Why would you want to beat the crap out of her? She has no loyalty to you? Surely it's your ex you should have been punching?
Sorry, it just really annoys me when women fight the other woman rather than their cheating, scumbag partners. That's the person who has broken a promise to you.
The bridesmaid and I were merely acquaintances; however, she also knew we were engaged as we had hung out together previously. Trust me, he was next on my list.
I don't care whether or not she "had lotalty". It's a *kitten* thing to do to another person. Hopefully you've never been cheated on and never have to know what it is like.
Oh I've been cheated on. You have no idea. My ex's girlfriend threatened to kill me and our children when he broke it off with her (because I found out and he wanted me to forgive him - I still divorced him, of course.) And there was a whole lot more that I won't go into. So don't act the martyr. I still stand by my point. Women do themselves a disservice by focussing on the other woman and cat fighting like something out of the Maury show over a pathetic cheating guy. I think it lets cheating men off the hook because it takes the focus off them..She's not the one who married you or promised to be faithful to you. She's owes you nothing. He does. If your going to punch someone, punch him.
Totally agree! I hate it when women fight with each other over a guy who has (technically) cheated on both of them with the other one. I always told my ex if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn't fight for him, ever. I wouldn't even hate the other woman. I'd say congrats - he's all yours, but keep in mind if he cheated on me with you, he'll probably cheat on you with someone else.
Caught my BF (at the time) cheating with his ex. She wrote me a very nasty email to let me know what they were doing together. I wrote her back told her I was a good person and I didn't know why she would hurt my feelings that way and that she could have him if that's what he was really like. She wrote me back that she was sooo sorry and that she was mad and jealous and I didn't deserve that. So she called me on the phone when I was with him and we all had a nice little chat.......he cried like a little B!tch, and we both dumped his butt. It felt good, I think she thought that I was gonna be a mean person so she came in on the defensive. Glad we worked that out, it was very cleansing lol.
Ha ha that's pretty funny! I've never been in a situation like that, but I remember when I first started dating my ex (I was 19) and he had gone out with this other girl a couple times before we met, but nothing came of it. And when we got together and were exclusive, she kept calling and calling and calling. And one time we were at a BBQ at a mutual friends house and she came and she just made the situation so dramatic, trying to always talk to him but show him what he's missing and so on. It was really embarrassing and I just said to her look, if he wanted to date you he would have. He didn't, so clearly he's not interest. No matter how many other guys you claim to have interested in you, he is not one of them. Move on and find someone who is interested. Not to say you're a bad person or anything, he just didn't feel it. It happens. Move on!
She got so mad at me, started posting things on facebook about how good of a time she had with him when I wasn't there (I was in university, so due to exams and such I did miss an occasional get together) and texting him. It caused a lot of drama. I didn't think anything was going on, I totally trusted him but it just caused so many issues. And I was thinking if you put as much effort into meeting new people, you might have found a new boyfriend by now. We got over it, but she was ridiculous.0 -
Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
This wasn't about your post - this was about the woman who said she fought with her husband "for days" if he leered at another woman.
Nothing to do with your original post OP, which I think you misunderstood and didn't read the whole thing that I posted.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »Fat2Fit145 wrote: »acorsaut89 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My hubby and I get into huge fights that last for days if I catch him leering at another woman!! Let alone something like what OP"s gone through. ..
Reality check guys, woman were not put on this earth just for your pleasure
Anyway, my point is I couldn't forgive and forget. But that's me, I know what I'm like and what I can and can not handle..
Fights that last for days if your husband looks at another woman? Really? That seems a little excessive.
I've had times when my partner was straight up bought drinks at a bar during a friend's birthday and he ordered what he know I drank and gave them to me. If he checked out another woman or said something like hey she's wearing a cute dress or check out those jeans or hair or she's got big boobs, I had no issues. It's perfectly healthy to appreciate another person's looks and be attracted to another person. We had this running joke because I love Jason Statham that needed to make sure he was on top of things in bed just in case Jason Statham ever showed up and I had to choose between the two of them. I was totally ok with him appreciating another woman's physical appearance. That being said, he never hit on them, he mentioned it to me afterwards, he never texted other women (with the exception of like his sister in law and his friends wives/girlfriends when making plans) and he never crossed any kind of line. I had zero reservation about trusting him when it came to things like that.
I am of the mindset that checking out other people is totally ok . . . healthy even, acting on it or hitting on or flirting with others may be crossing a boundary, depending on the relationship you have.
Can you honestly say you don't check out other guys? Or you can't appreciate when a guy makes you do a double take? Our partner's aren't just the only ones we find physically attractive (OMG - can you imagine if they were? lol) but they are the ones we are the most intimate with. And the ones we share our lives with - there's so much more to it than physical attraction. He isn't crossing any boundaries by appreciating another woman's physically appearance, so why let it cause cracks in the foundation of your marriage?
I think u missed a lot of other info as well, in addition to teller her she is attacted to her, he said he is not attracted to me. I am very aware that he would appreciate other womens bodies, but to go to the extent of telling her "im attracted to u" is disrespectful to me, why? because I believe he has developed an emotional attachment and bond with her, that's a no no., that's how affairs begin
She only read the OP.
No I read the whole thing - the OP has issues she needs to deal with outside of this forum. My post was directed at a woman who said she fights with her husband for days when he looks at another woman.
That has nothing to do with the OP - I think fighting because your husband appreciates an attractive woman wouldn't be something I'd get too worked up about. My post was not aimed at the OP, it was aimed at the woman who made a comment about fighting with her husband due to him looking at another woman.
Please read the comment quoted to understand what I'm replying to.0 -
Too many comments to read them all...
Just because he said he isn't attracted to you doesn't mean it's true. He very well may have said that as part of his seduction of the other girl.
Unlike a lot of comments so far, I don't know if the problem is solely your husband. You sound very insecure. And it's interesting to note that the qualities you list about your husband are of a physical nature. Sounds like both of you may be a bit shallow.
Good luck. I hope things work out for the best.0 -
I am really sorry you have to go through this.
I read all the replies and not a single person said that what he did was right.
And i agree, but in order for people to give pieces of advice like "get a divorce lawyer" they should really hear him out too. Because maybe you made a mistake too, along the way-a real one, not gaining a few lbs.
Have you ever cheated on him?
Does it seem normal to you that he talks to another person, male or female, about your relationship?
A marriage is a very intimate thing and he is bringing another person in it.
Is that usual for you too ? Like, are you talking openly to your girlfriends about your marriage?
I'm just saying that you shouldnt take a decision based on what we are telling you.
However, i also think it is important to hear other opinions but just dont decide without listening to your heart and brain first.
If that were to happen to me i wouldnt even talk about it, for me, that is cheating and i would just get crazy hot and then leave his sorry *kitten*.0 -
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yopeeps025 wrote: »
The OP is obsessing about her husband saying he is not attracted to her and feeling unattractive as a result. My point is that WHAT he said is not important (and could very well be untrue). The fact that he is trying to attract another woman is actually the more important thing. So she should stop internalizing about not being attractive because she gained weight and deal with the bigger issue... Get it now? If not, it's okay. I was talking to the OP, anyway.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »
The OP is obsessing about her husband saying he is not attracted to her and feeling unattractive as a result. My point is that WHAT he said is not important (and could very well be untrue). The fact that he is trying to attract another woman is actually the more important thing. So she should stop internalizing about not being attractive because she gained weight and deal with the bigger issue... Get it now? If not, it's okay. I was talking to the OP, anyway.
That how you feel. You made a lot of assumptions.
That not how OP feels and a lot of people are talking more about the comment to OP than the comment to some random women.
I am skewed though I had married women say I'm attractive but they never said their husband wasn't.0 -
Run woman!!!!! Run yr husband does not tell another woman hes not attracted u, that hes attracted to her (even if it is true at the time)0
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