"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

1101113151619

Replies

  • USAFmaa
    USAFmaa Posts: 8 Member
    It is embarassing when people say that because I never know how to respond. It's just because they are not used to seeing you as "thin" yet. If you were always 125 no one would say anything. I think you look great and your calorie range shows you have a healthy perspective. I think the best response is something like "No, I am fine and I feel great!"

    This!! ^
  • blambo61
    blambo61 Posts: 4,372 Member
    dym123 wrote: »
    My neighbor feels the need to make this comment every time she sees me. Last night I was putting out the trash and she says something about me "disappearing", but mostly its the skinny comments that drives me effing crazy. Not only am I NOT skinny, but I do not even aspire to BE skinny. I've told her this a million times, but she just doesn't get it. I've been at this weight for almost 2 years, so I don't understand why she feels she needs to continue making comments about my weight. Whew...needed to get that off my chest. Thanks.

    ETA: I should add that she moved in with her mother a couple of years ago and have since put on quite a bit of weight, so I don't know if that is why she does this.

    She might wish she was like you. Talk to her.
  • Yisrael1981
    Yisrael1981 Posts: 132 Member
    Soopatt wrote: »
    This just happened to me today in my office. My manager came over to me today and said a few people had come over to him and said I look horrible that I am too skinny. It really threw me for a loop and I did question myself
    I started at 220 and ended at 145-147, currently maintaining at about 2000 calories a day plus some treats on the weekend...
    The wise man in me says these people just have a hard time adjusting to my new look, however it definitely was a painful experience

    I can relate. My manager also runs HR and has told me twice in the past two days that I am skinny, it is not attractive and I must not lose any more weight (said in a dramatic voice).

    Yep. Folks that run HR don't always know how to HR.
    Ironically sometimes they are the worst ones to run HR with their lack of people skills

  • srcurran
    srcurran Posts: 208 Member
    I, too, work in HR and one of my coworkers has been quite vocal about my being too skinny.
  • bacs
    bacs Posts: 40 Member
    I'm 5'2 ish and 150 lbs and get told I don't need to lose weight when I mention I'm dong calorie counting. That's insane. Our perception in general of what is a healthy weight has become so skewed. It's to the point where I just don't discuss my eating or work outs anymore.
  • ericGold15
    ericGold15 Posts: 318 Member
    edited November 2015
    When thin people say you are too thin then take the comment seriously; everybody else is giving you a compliment.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    Theses family members and friends...are they over weight? If they were where they should be they probably wouldn't say so much about your weight. DO NOT let others influence how you feel or look at yourself. Tell them they need to be more educated about what healthy is.
    Skinny isn't bad, it's how skinny is viewed today that leaves us thinking, 'That person isn't healthy'.

    Coming from the girl that let others influence her...I went from 150 to 112 and let others tell me I was too skinny and then gained all the weight back.
    Now I feel worse because I look and feel bad, and also let them tell me how I should look
    Don't be me! Don't you dare. You care ABOUT YOU because you're already starting to question if you're right. Well there was a reason why you wanted to change in the first place; don't forget that.

    You being thin is a result of you being healthy. It's not like you starve yourself or any of that crap. You're perfect as IS.
  • Mallybear2020
    Mallybear2020 Posts: 82 Member
    sun_fish wrote: »
    When people say they are concerned about my health, I want to ask them why they weren't concerned about me when I was obese.

    Very true!
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    bacs wrote: »
    I'm 5'2 ish and 150 lbs and get told I don't need to lose weight when I mention I'm dong calorie counting. That's insane. Our perception in general of what is a healthy weight has become so skewed. It's to the point where I just don't discuss my eating or work outs anymore.
    Exactly, i have people telling me , don't lose anymore weight or you will look too skinny! !...i am 5'8"...i weigh 180lbs. THIS is my maintenance weight...but they are under the impression that i am sick or something. its so so crazy.
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    Sun fish.....i often wonder the same thing, but now they care??...well said!
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member
    Seems like I see this a lot when someone who isn't in as good as shape shares their opinion. Kinda like, "hey wait a min, let me catch up and we can be skinny together!" Or just people being downright jealous. As long as you're within a healthy weight range and living an active well rounded life it's really none of their business
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    atjays wrote: »
    Seems like I see this a lot when someone who isn't in as good as shape shares their opinion. Kinda like, "hey wait a min, let me catch up and we can be skinny together!" Or just people being downright jealous. As long as you're within a healthy weight range and living an active well rounded life it's really none of their business

    Amen...and that's the truth....
  • StepB1987
    StepB1987 Posts: 30 Member
    It's really non of their buisness. The same thing happens to me but unlike you i don't care what people think about me and you shouldn't either as long as your happy and healthy. Just don't let them get inside of your head and have you think k you have an eating disorder especially if you dont.


  • sobiakhatoon
    sobiakhatoon Posts: 128 Member
    elansc wrote: »
    LOL It is weirdly comforting to hear how many of you get the "you are too skinny" comment -- I get it too -- and after losing 80 lbs (I do think part of it is the comparison to the obese me and the skinny me) I say (very enthusiastically) "OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH, THAT IS SO KIND OF YOU TO SAY" with a huge stupid grin on my face. The confused look on their face is just too priceless and I get a kick out of it every time (I know I am being a brat but I am having way too much fun with it to stop!).
    dakotababy wrote: »
    I would just reply with "you are having issues adjusting to my appearance - which should be none of your business anyway."
    Lolllllllll! Im saving these 2 in my memory. :grimace:
  • lps1dragonfly
    lps1dragonfly Posts: 111 Member
    edited December 2015
    sun_fish wrote: »
    When people say they are concerned about my health, I want to ask them why they weren't concerned about me when I was obese.


    this is perfect!!!
  • Libertysfate
    Libertysfate Posts: 452 Member
    I get the "you're so tiny/skinny" thing every other day. Or people ask me why I run so much I don't need to lose weight...
  • lps1dragonfly
    lps1dragonfly Posts: 111 Member
    I get the "you're so tiny/skinny" thing every other day. Or people ask me why I run so much I don't need to lose weight...

    I'm hearing this now too about the "why are you running". they don't see the squshy stuff that clothes can hide. Right now running sounds fun and feels good so i'm doing it ;)
  • starfish235
    starfish235 Posts: 129 Member
    I have heard the you're too thin thing all my adult life. I lost 20 pounds 15 years ago. I had no waist because I have a very small frame. I am at ideal weight. Yes they are jealous. Keep up your good fight. You are saving your own life. Thin bullying is worse I my eye than fat bullying.
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    OK....i weigh 177-180....at work i hear, dude if you lose any more weight we will have to......i just rode my bike 10miles. ....also, i worked 14 hours. ..so how does a sick man do such things???
  • BeFitBri2
    BeFitBri2 Posts: 35 Member
    Someone told me I was too skinny last night. I'm 5'0" at 104 lbs and average body fat percentage. Too skinny? I think not. Healthy? For sure.
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    People have been telling me for the past 7 months "your going to waist away to nothing ", I am 5'8" and I weigh 180lbs. I think people have lost the visual perception of whats healthy and whats not healthy.
  • starfish235
    starfish235 Posts: 129 Member
    Again this thread caught my eye. Yes people don't know what a healthy weight is. At my age of nearly 59 I still have people making remarks. I have never sat on my laurels when it came to staying a healthy weight. I don't think like this in regard to my house keeping. This keeping on top of you weight is a personality issue. I know because it's really easy to keep my weight down.
  • SingingSingleTracker
    SingingSingleTracker Posts: 1,866 Member
    I've heard it all over the past 50 years! Being tall and slim - it doesn't matter if I have gained weight, lost weight, or maintained weight - when I see people I haven't seen in a long time (weeks, months, years) 9 times out of 10, the comment is "Have you lost weight? You're so skinny!"

    Nice blog post from Sara Pittman here...

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-pittman/skinny-shaming-at-any-age_b_8241966.html

    Sara shares typical things she hears all the time...

    "So what if you don't have boobs or an *kitten*, at least you're skinny."

    "Eat a fxxking cheeseburger."

    "Get your thyroid checked."

    "Lucky."

    "Too skinny."

    "Skinny *kitten*."

    "Not attractive."

    "No cushion. No good."

    "You must never eat."

    "You have it easy."

    "You look sick."


    I get the cheeseburger line all the time at bike races from the hecklers - usually in good fun as cyclists who race are notorious for being slim due to the power/weight ratio.

    22942251633_d2ae3cd696_z.jpg

  • pjoenix
    pjoenix Posts: 25 Member
    I'm ranging around 118-120 right now with a good 10 pounds or so to my goal at 5'1'', and hear the same often.

    My grandmother likes to comment how "shocked" she is when I make a plate that I'm "actually eating". I typically eat between 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on however hungry I'm feeling, with occasions a few times a month where I splurge and wind up between 2500-3000 calories. I certainly haven't been "not eating".

    I've been told dozens of times by other family members that I shouldn't lose any more, that I'm too small. This is at a bmi of 22.5 and a totally average body fat percentage.

    It has made me stop and evaluate, but I think this is a good thing too. It can sometimes be easy to lose perspective when nearing a goal, but all that evaluation told me was I'm on the right track but still have room for improvement.
  • lps1dragonfly
    lps1dragonfly Posts: 111 Member
    this is basically me too. 5'1" and about 126 today. my BMI is around 23 but not higher than 23.5. I can still lose a bit and still be in healthy weight range. I have been to a PA, NP and OBGYN in the past 6mo and they cheer me that I have lost and tell me i'm doing well so I really try not to listen to those that are bashing.

    I just graphed and see that I lost 10# in a year. When I told the fam last night they were all like "whoa! 10#!!" "your gotta stop" "no wonder you feel boney when I hug you" I told them that the dr's are not upset so they shouldn't be either and that I'm healthier and feel lots better. That got the kids to hush but I think the man is still on the fence. He's been a great supporter for the most part but I've noticed that I can't give him numbers or it freaks him out hehe
    pjoenix wrote: »
    I'm ranging around 118-120 right now with a good 10 pounds or so to my goal at 5'1'', and hear the same often.

    My grandmother likes to comment how "shocked" she is when I make a plate that I'm "actually eating". I typically eat between 1500-2000 calories a day, depending on however hungry I'm feeling, with occasions a few times a month where I splurge and wind up between 2500-3000 calories. I certainly haven't been "not eating".

    I've been told dozens of times by other family members that I shouldn't lose any more, that I'm too small. This is at a bmi of 22.5 and a totally average body fat percentage.

    It has made me stop and evaluate, but I think this is a good thing too. It can sometimes be easy to lose perspective when nearing a goal, but all that evaluation told me was I'm on the right track but still have room for improvement.

  • Billy60s
    Billy60s Posts: 1,566 Member
    I continually get told I'm too thin by family. I am just ignoring them. I weigh in between 77 & 78 kg now I was 105kg and had to lose the weight for health reasons.
  • foodlover1995
    foodlover1995 Posts: 2 Member
    I've been getting these comments too lately from everyone even neighbours are saying i need to put on some weight eat more meat, vegetables, protein ... been building up my muscles its funny cause years ago no one would've said this too me and now they're generally concerned i'm losing abit much just bugs me about society when you're at a healthy bmi you've always wanted o:)
  • mikehardin62
    mikehardin62 Posts: 122 Member
    Absolutely Foodlover, i hear those comments all the time. The other day at work i sneezed a couple of times and the person that heared me said,"see your immune system is just shot, you not eating enough mike, your going to in up in ICU if your not carful." My response was ooo...its just dust, which it was cause i am a janitor by trade, so i stir up lots of dust.lol lol
  • kvansteen
    kvansteen Posts: 82 Member
    I'm still losing but my mother in law asked the other day if the reason I was losing was because I was sick. When I said no she replied quickly with oh ok well you look good. Sigh...