"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?

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  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    To honest I'd rather be told I'm too skinny than too fat!
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,052 Member
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    Agree with savemama. People of a certain generation mean it as a compliment, even if it comes off as backhanded. It's why they will tell you unabashedly that you're too thin but not that you're too fat.
  • andrearotella
    andrearotella Posts: 6
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    Yes! I am 5ft1in and 106 pounds. People make comments about my weight all the time, asking "When are you going to gain weight?" I hate that question so much. It has caused so many issues with my boyfriend's family because they aren't afraid to make fun of people. I find it very hurtful when people call me too skinny or ask when I'm going to gain weight.
  • RaspberryTickleChicken
    RaspberryTickleChicken Posts: 629 Member
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    I think this derives from many failing to simply understand the difference between naturally (genetically) scrawny (but flabby) and well defined muscular slender.

    I typically just respond with a polite smile and let them fester in their misguided notions of how to lose weight & keep it off or what healthy life really is.

    Just know that the critique sometimes is out of shear ignorance of what healthy is while others are out of jealousy. As long as you are feeling good, staying active, eating properly, almost just have to grow thicker skin and as Taylor Swift sings 'Shake It Off.' :)

    Also this article HERE was really amusing to read about an ongoing rather tolerated trend of 'slim-shaming.'
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    Someone at the gym this week said "you have to STOP - you're perfect." And I'm sure he meant well, but I found it a little bit insulting. Kind of like, oh I'm just how YOU want me so I should drop my goals and adjust to maintenance now... before what? Before I have the body type of someone you do not want to sleep with? He's totally into me, so that was my read on it. It was just frustrating.

    My beauty, my health, my goals... it's hard when anyone else is anything but supportive. They're super personal things. And I know my body fat percentage, and I am well within the healthy range... can even lose 10 pounds and still be in the healthy range. So maybe just let me be whatever *I* want. (which is what im gonna do anyhow)
  • wathjo1
    wathjo1 Posts: 106 Member
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    I went from 195 to just under 170 and my dad is already telling me he's concerned and i'm losing too much!! I am still OVER WEIGHT! Gah! It really messes with my mind.
  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
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    wathjo1 wrote: »
    I went from 195 to just under 170 and my dad is already telling me he's concerned and i'm losing too much!! I am still OVER WEIGHT! Gah! It really messes with my mind.

    Hey you're off to a fantastic start! Don't you worry a second about it.

  • cbills65
    cbills65 Posts: 164 Member
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    From people who work in my building, I have gotten the "Wow! You've lost so much weight! You look great!" Quickly followed by the rapid fire comment: "But don't get too skinny, okay?" Really?

    Nine times out of ten the person saying this is 20 pounds or more overweight. I haven't figured out if they are jealous, truly concerned for my health or just oblivious to how inappropriate that is to say to a casual acquaintance.

    With 7-8 % body fat to lose to get to my goal of 19-20%, I would love to say, 'Trust me, I know my body and what lies beneath these clothes that you CAN'T see. I still have a LOT of work to do! Too skinny? Bahahahaha!'
  • lydiakitten
    lydiakitten Posts: 132 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Ahhh, I relate so much to this post. I am 5'5" and ~109 pounds, and though I know I am underweight according to a universal BMI, I am not actually underweight. I am naturally light-boned, curveless, have tiny ankles/wrists/etc, and I do have doctors that have checked me up, blood tests done, nutritionists oversee my diet, etc, and all of them agree I am at a completely healthy weight and am doing fine, and am healthy and fit as a fiddle. I mean, I am currently trying to recomp, to go from skinny but soft to firmer and more defined, and I just keep getting so many comments (mostly from women) that I am too skinny and have "obviously lost my breasts as a prize" and that I should just stop exercising/eating healthy and "eat a burger" because "curves are in and I should get mine back".

    Erm, no. If you knew back when I was 135 pounds, you would have noticed I still didn't have substantial breasts. I still had a very boyish figure. Some people have a specific body type by nature, for frick's sake, stop attacking me for it! How is it any better than me attacking you because of your muffin top?
  • SharonCMach
    SharonCMach Posts: 305 Member
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    My family gives me grief all the time, it throws my head threw a loop. I tell them I want to maintain my weight and that's not going to happen if I go back to my old eating habits. They don't understand. :s
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    Anonycatgirl wrote: »
    christinev297 wrote: »
    The thing is i lost around 30lbs all up, and i only put that on over the last 3 years. Before that i was the weight I am now. Maybe the older you get the more face chub you need to look healthy?

    I think there's actually some truth to that, which kind of sucks. I was trying to maintain a few pounds lighter than I am now, which was a reasonable weight, far from "skinny"--but my face looked drawn and my wrinkles seemed more pronounced. Gained a couple of pounds back; my body still looks fine and my face looks better. (Of course, I'm a bit older than you.)

    There's a reason why fat/filler injections are a common accessory procedure to a face lift. It's unfortunate that losing fat from your face after a certain point makes you look older, but it's unavoidable.

    I will say, there are people who mean skinny as a compliment. Others mean it as a slur. The only way to be certain which way it is meant is if there's an obvious tone or you have a history with that person. It's easy to be sensitive about your weight when you've been focused on changing it for so long.
  • krissyreminisce
    krissyreminisce Posts: 284 Member
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    I had someone SMALLER than me tell me, flat out, that I looked anorexic. She's older, a bit taller, and all bones.

    At least I have muscle.
  • TitaniaEcks
    TitaniaEcks Posts: 351 Member
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    I'm going to repeat what everyone else has already said: at first people aren't used to seeing you at that weight and they will tell you you're too skinny, but as long as you actually are above a medically healthy weight minimum (BMI>19), the comments will stop eventually once people get used to your new look. 5'6" and 125 lbs is perfectly acceptable and medically appropriate.

    Now, if you're getting the comments from overweight friends/family or from people who are into BBWs, they may really mean it, but you can take it with a grain of salt. ;-)

    I got a lot of "you've gotten too skinny" as soon as I dropped below 130, but it's stopped with time. Now they have compliments or nothing at all.
  • JordanAron
    JordanAron Posts: 7 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Apparently I eat sawdust, am too scrawny, and need to get meat on my bones. My parents pile on refined carbs and expect me to clean my plate. I'm actually a healthy BMI middle range with 24% body fat, but they say I'm borderline underweight.

    Thing is, I'd love some meat\muscle on my bones; even fat on the upper half. I just don't put it on up there. My siblings are awesome muscle-defined mesomorphs. We're all close to the same height and weight. I exercise more than them, but as an ecto-meso combo, the fat isn't evenly distributed and doesn't show in flattering ways. I'm basically both bones and belly rolls.

    I find the negative comments invasive, because, as an adult, I like to make choices without feeling judged or guilted into eating more pasta. For my parents, food is how they show their love, if you turn it down, it's taken personally.
  • laynunugawa
    laynunugawa Posts: 108 Member
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    My response would be, "no I'm not too skinny, this is what a healthy diet and exercise looks like or what a healthy person looks like."
  • TitaniaEcks
    TitaniaEcks Posts: 351 Member
    edited April 2015
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    JordanAron wrote: »
    Apparently I eat sawdust, am too scrawny, and need to get meat on my bones. My parents pile on refined carbs and expect me to clean my plate. I'm actually a healthy BMI middle range with 24% body fat, but they say I'm borderline underweight.

    Thing is, I'd love some meat\muscle on my bones; even fat on the upper half. I just don't put it on up there. My siblings are awesome muscle-defined mesomorphs. We're all close to the same height and weight. I exercise more than them, but as an ecto-meso combo, the fat isn't evenly distributed and doesn't show in flattering ways. I'm basically both bones and belly rolls.

    I find the negative comments invasive, because, as an adult, I like to make choices without feeling judged or guilted into eating more pasta. For my parents, food is how they show their love, if you turn it down, it's taken personally.

    That's the problem with defining any specific standard of beauty: most people will always fall outside it.

    If you're top-heavy, bottom-heavy is in. If you're thin, fleshier is the trend. If you're rectangular, curvy is the ideal. Now the new ideal they're trying to push on us is "strong is the new thin". I couldn't be muscular if I tried. It's just another unattainable beauty goal for many of us. Just another way for the economy to get more money pumped into it, milking us by making us feel inadequate; last decade's diet pills are this decade's protein shakes. No one can ever measure up, no pun intended, unless they were lucky enough to be born as the standard of a specific decade - and that standard will change the next decade and suddenly they need to change the way they look. That's why the only thing that makes sense is to listen to your doctor and to look the way that makes you happy.
  • mamatothelils
    mamatothelils Posts: 17 Member
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    I hate to say it, but I have heard that a lot from friends and family while losing weight... Knowing very well I am not "too" skinny... Not even close based on my BMI. I think people that are not losing sometimes are negative when others begin their weight loss journey. I don't even think they mean it when they say "too" skinny. What I say is....no I am not (matter of factly).... Then I say sometime like , "I am happy with myself." Not in a mean way or anything. Ultimately, you have to determine the weight you are happy with. According to my BMI I should weigh about 5-10 pounds less...But I am happy where I am.
  • clare120
    clare120 Posts: 41 Member
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    I understand. I am 5'9 and 140 ish and I want to lose around 10-15 more pounds. Completely healthy and normal. People are already commenting on how I appear "sickly" and I can definitely still pinch an inch on my stomach. Crazies :lol:
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Heck, my in laws came to visit last month, I was oh...230 or so still... my mother in law expressed disbelief that I was planning to continue losing weight.

    People are just weird

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