"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?
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When people say they are concerned about my health, I want to ask them why they weren't concerned about me when I was obese.
Precisely. So many people just simply don't think before speaking. One of the toughest things to do (in my opinion) is to let comments slide off and forget about them. Far too many people aren't coming from a place of "concern" unless it is their own concern that you are doing something they can't, won't or don't want to do. But hey, that is their journey - not yours.
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Just tell em the doctor has checked you out and confirmed you are ok, so there's nothing to worry about.0
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Lost 35 lbs once, on purpose, (need to lose it again, uggh), but everyone kept asking if I was sick or something, and I was no where near done! Kinda takes the fun out of it.
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People at work tell me i've gotten too skinny and are mortified when i say i want to get leaner...and none of these people workout/lift/etc.., so to me it just is ignorance and i don't get annoyed when i look at it like that.0
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Heard it all numerous times. When they say 'you're too skinny' I just reply 'No I'm not' . That normally shuts them down. If it doesn't I tell them 'you're too opinionated'. That always shuts them down but they're usually unhappy about it. I don't care. I have the advice and support of my trainer and the other trainers at my gym who are all prepared to tell me if I do too much training or lose more weight than is healthy. I also have the support of my other half. They are the only opinions that count. However, it will still be up to me to decide if/when I'm too skinny.0
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I think that maybe some people just haven't got used to your weight loss yet. Also, I think people's perceptions of what is considered healthy is somewhat skewed, considering national averages. Also, it might just be them projecting their own jealousy/insecurities. As long as you're happy you're fine! You're at a healthy BMI and sound really fit and healthy so I'd just keep doing what you're doing if I were you.
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Saying "you're too fat" is considered rude, while saying "you're too skinny" supposedly means they are concerned about your health. People are hypocrites! "You're too skinny" mostly can be heard from people who would benefit from losing weight themselves, - a lot of weight, which is exactly what I tell them as an answer when I'm in the mood! :-)1
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Tedebearduff wrote: »
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?
Yes, it's a complete mind *kitten* really, it made all my "Success" seem meaningless. I did a full blown bulk for a year and put back on 50lbs so people would leave me the *kitten* alone. I then would get comments like "do you still work out?" or "why'd you stop working out?"... this just kind of drove me over the edge and said *kitten* all of you while you sit there and wonder how you can't drop 20 lbs watch me lose the 50lbs I just put on ... and I'm in the process of doing that now lol down 25lbs so exactly half way back to the old me.
I also get comments again not to go to far with it but now I say, look *kitten* off it's my life mind your own business!
total lost is 172lbs btw
Good for You!
It goes to show that some people will always find somethibg negative to say no matter what. Do what makes u happy and keeps u healthy. It sounds if you have some really envious admirers.
And congratulations on your success both times!
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Absolutely. My parents are constantly telling me I'm getting too skinny and half-jokingly asking me if they need to check me into an eating disorder clinic before I hit 85 lbs. I'm 25 and married, by the way, so it's not like I'm a kid, and I'm 122 lbs at 5'5", so I'm not underweight by any means.
I look at my body and wonder what the hell they're talking about. I still have some excess fat, especially in my midsection. I don't have the flat, firm stomach I want, and no part of my body is particularly thin. I just look like a normal person at a healthy weight, I think. There are still improvements to be made, so I try to avoid talking to them about cutting, but that doesn't always work.
It's so frustrating explaining things like lifting, IIFYM, and ongoing fitness goals to people that are content being at an unhealthy weight or just being "skinny" without being strong or fit. They just don't get it, so I tend to keep it to myself unless I'm asked directly.
I don't need people to understand what I'm doing - I just need them to keep their comments about my body to themselves. Just because I'm not fat doesn't mean it's not insulting to say negative things about how I look. In other words, mind ya own damn business!0 -
LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »Absolutely. My parents are constantly telling me I'm getting too skinny and half-jokingly asking me if they need to check me into an eating disorder clinic before I hit 85 lbs. I'm 25 and married, by the way, so it's not like I'm a kid, and I'm 122 lbs at 5'5", so I'm not underweight by any means.
I look at my body and wonder what the hell they're talking about. I still have some excess fat, especially in my midsection. I don't have the flat, firm stomach I want, and no part of my body is particularly thin. I just look like a normal person at a healthy weight, I think. There are still improvements to be made, so I try to avoid talking to them about cutting, but that doesn't always work.
It's so frustrating explaining things like lifting, IIFYM, and ongoing fitness goals to people that are content being at an unhealthy weight or just being "skinny" without being strong or fit. They just don't get it, so I tend to keep it to myself unless I'm asked directly.
I don't need people to understand what I'm doing - I just need them to keep their comments about my body to themselves. Just because I'm not fat doesn't mean it's not insulting to say negative things about how I look. In other words, mind ya own damn business!
I couldn't agree more!0 -
I have gotten these exact comments recently. I'm 5 foot 5 and 130 pounds. Not sure if I want to begin maintaining or not, but the comments aren't helping the situation be any less stressful.0
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I haven't ever posted before, but appreciate the support that this forum offers and want to get in on it! Lately, I've been in need of support from those who understand the struggles of weight loss and maintenance.
Since the fall of 2013, I went from 180lbs to 125lbs (female, 5'6") and have been maintaining at 125 (+/- 2lbs) for the past 6 months. As time goes on, I have gotten more and more serious about exercise and specifically running. I really enjoy seeing where my body can take me and it's motivating to break my personal records and times while running.
In the process, my body fat percentage has dropped to around 18% and while I am happy with the way I look, a lot of people around me keep making comments like "you're too skinny" or "you had better not lose any more weight". It's not just 1 or 2 people either -- it's many of those I am close to and even family members. It really makes me second guess myself and question whether I have some kind of body dysmorphia or eating disorder even though I am within the healthy range for BMI and I eat between 1800-2300 calories/day (depending on how much I work out).
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?
OMG, ME! ME! I'm female, 5'6 and 123-125 lbs too (previously 187 lbs). I get this crap all the time. They think I'm trying to lose more weight when I'm just trying to tone more and maintain a healthy weight. You sound like another version of me lol.
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Honestly, maybe because I'm a mom and older than you (I think), but when someone says I look skinny- I take it as the compliment they intended.
But maybe it's because I *know* I am not too thin. My maintenance weight is comfortably at the high end of normal bmi. By choice. But this means I have no second-guessing that it's either
1. Jealousy
2. A compliment
... As I am not "too skinny" medically in any way.
Is it possible that you're feeling unsure if you are actually too skinny? You mention it causing you to second guess yourself. Is there truth to it?
If there isn't any truth to it- then see above
if there is- maybe it's a good reflection to contemplate.
Either way- people are kinda dumb. Easier to know that at the outset. Ha ha.0 -
I attempted to lose weight three years ago and let those "You look fine the way you are" and "Eat a burger, "You don't need to work out anymore" comments win- gaining even more after I decided to give up. Well, 7 months ago I made the decision to eat well and exercise for ME- and 41 lbs later I've hit my goal weight and look better now than I did 15 years ago. You live and learn, sometimes. Listen to YOU- and those you trust. Above all, never, ever give in and give up. It's a lifestyle. Your body will thank you as you age. I thought cellulite was just how it was supposed to be- I always hid my legs- now I wear shorts confidently in public, and it is so liberating! No cellulite on this bod!!!0
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haha, I hadn't actually heard this in quite some time until yesterday and some woman who never even knew me when I was big said it to me....So it's not a case of her not being able to reconcile a size change in her mind because to her I've always been the size that I am now. Also, I look kind of similar to her daughter who is about the same age as me. Same height too.....aaaaand she's smaller than I am. I wonder how often she tells HER she's too skinny.0
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When I first got that comment three years ago, it was all I needed to eat all the weight back again, and even more. This time round, I'll try to keep the weight off, and not listen to those comments. It is hard enough as it is not trying to overeat. I am too short for my weight....
The same happened to me many years ago and I regained all my weight and more. However, I got back on the bandwagon a year ago and I'm the healthiest I've ever been. I'm really happy with the way I look now, but the other week someone commented that I was too skinny. These weeks I've been really stressed out with maintaining that I've gained back a kilo.
I honestly do not wish to go back. My clothes look great on me and I can buy whatever I want. I understand that in the end, it's only up to me to maintain my healthy weight, but it's harder than I expected.
I will do my best.
Why is it ok for me people to say your too skinny!! Imagine if you had told that person that they wer too fat! People would think that would be highly offensive haha can up imagine saying that lol.1 -
michaelbyfield wrote: »The truth is that you're not too skinny. Society is WAAAAAAAY too fat. Being in shape brings it home to them and they don't like it. They would prefer you were a lot bigger which would allow them to validate themselves as 'about average' when in truth they are just too big.
This!!!
Overweight is the new normal1 -
christinev297 wrote: »The thing is i lost around 30lbs all up, and i only put that on over the last 3 years. Before that i was the weight I am now. Maybe the older you get the more face chub you need to look healthy?
I think there's actually some truth to that, which kind of sucks. I was trying to maintain a few pounds lighter than I am now, which was a reasonable weight, far from "skinny"--but my face looked drawn and my wrinkles seemed more pronounced. Gained a couple of pounds back; my body still looks fine and my face looks better. (Of course, I'm a bit older than you.)
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Totally feel your pain, I'm 5'4" and about 119-was about 190 before. I actually quit a gym b/c of rude people that would make comments! You should be proud of your accomplishments and not worry about jealous people!0
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