Pushy Co-Workers
bigblondewolf
Posts: 268 Member
Looking for some help to handle a bit of a sticky situation.
Our work is ordering in for a mandatory "celebration lunch" (yes, attendance is mandatory, don't ask) for all of the employees in our location. We're all expected to put in our order to the chain restaurant they've chosen.
But I'd rather bring my own lunch and use the calories for better food that I actually enjoy and that doesn't make me feel ill.
When I told my boss this I was told to "just get a salad."
How do I get out of this without causing awkward friction without my employer?
Our work is ordering in for a mandatory "celebration lunch" (yes, attendance is mandatory, don't ask) for all of the employees in our location. We're all expected to put in our order to the chain restaurant they've chosen.
But I'd rather bring my own lunch and use the calories for better food that I actually enjoy and that doesn't make me feel ill.
When I told my boss this I was told to "just get a salad."
How do I get out of this without causing awkward friction without my employer?
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Replies
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Unless you have an allergy, I would get the salad, or find something on the menu, like salmon no sauce, steamed veg on side0
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Get a side salad with dressing on the side. Or, since it's already in a go box, take it home for someone else.
I'm one of those that orders a salad with no bacon, no cheese, dressing on the side, any nuts/dried fruits on the side...etc since somehow restaurants get their salads to epic calorie numbers lol. I've had to deal with a boss insisting too.0 -
My 1st thought was just eat the salad, way less stressful than 100 what ifs later. That said if the food makes you sick your doc can put that on a note and your clear. We frequently have celebrations at my work and I just strip down the food to what I can have and toss the trash part.0
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I get that I can order a salad, but I don't see why I should have to get a boring salad when I could just eat my own delicious lunch. I mean, there's nothing wrong with bringing my own food and eating it at the table with them, is there?0
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Can you eat part of the salad and enjoy the celebration with your peers and use your lunch items to snack before or after the event?
It doesn't really matter what we think. It matters what your boss thinks. I guess you know better than we do if you can push him further on this issue.0 -
I think since you already asked your boss and were told just order a salad that maybe you should eat your actual lunch before or after this celebration.0
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janejellyroll wrote: »Can you eat part of the salad and enjoy the celebration with your peers and use your lunch items to snack before or after the event?
It doesn't really matter what we think. It matters what your boss thinks. I guess you know better than we do if you can push him further on this issue.
I have to agree with this. We don't know your work dynamics like you do. At mine, there'd be no issue with someone not ordering a lunch with the group and bringing their own. If your boss is insisting it may just be best for you to suck it up and make a show of eating some of the salad while you're in the meeting.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »Can you eat part of the salad and enjoy the celebration with your peers and use your lunch items to snack before or after the event?
It doesn't really matter what we think. It matters what your boss thinks. I guess you know better than we do if you can push him further on this issue.
I have to agree with this. We don't know your work dynamics like you do. At mine, there'd be no issue with someone not ordering a lunch with the group and bringing their own. If your boss is insisting it may just be best for you to suck it up and make a show of eating some of the salad while you're in the meeting.
Yeah I suppose that's true. It's just frustrating because a lot of foods upset my stomach and at this office going out for big greasy lunches together is the only way to get ahead.
It's almost like they look down on anyone making healthier choices.
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Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
And I didn't "mock" anyone for the way they eat. I don't care what other people eat, I just don't want to be forced to eat food I don't want and that doesn't make me feel good for the sake of keeping the social peace.0 -
Bring your own lunch. If you get a hard time from anyone, let them know that you feel uncomfortable taking instructions from coworkers about what to put inside your body.0
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It's a balance and every office has its own dynamics. You often have to do what is necessary to fit in and get ahead. Of course, gaining weight shouldn't be one of those things but learning to compromise to at least appear like you fit in is part of the game. There's nothing that says you can't take the offered cookie, make a show of taking one bite and then tossing the rest in the trash when you get back to your desk. If there's an office pot luck, bring something healthy that you know you'll eat and at least you'll have that.bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Can you eat part of the salad and enjoy the celebration with your peers and use your lunch items to snack before or after the event?
It doesn't really matter what we think. It matters what your boss thinks. I guess you know better than we do if you can push him further on this issue.
I have to agree with this. We don't know your work dynamics like you do. At mine, there'd be no issue with someone not ordering a lunch with the group and bringing their own. If your boss is insisting it may just be best for you to suck it up and make a show of eating some of the salad while you're in the meeting.
Yeah I suppose that's true. It's just frustrating because a lot of foods upset my stomach and at this office going out for big greasy lunches together is the only way to get ahead.
It's almost like they look down on anyone making healthier choices.
Where I'm working now it seems there's always junk food around. I'm a culprit sometimes but people bring in cookies, cupcakes, donuts, etc. all of the time. At the same time, there's been a recent movement for people to get more healthy. A bunch of the male engineers have started a contest where they get points for eating all of their fruit and vegetable servings, losing a certain percentage of weight, etc. They all recently ran the Tough Mudder race, too. It's changed things. At a recent meeting someone even brought in a vegetable tray and a platter of apple slices with low calorie caramel dip instead of the usual baked goods. Perhaps you might look into starting a similar challenge in your own office?
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bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.0 -
Just get a salad and don't be overly difficult. Why would you want to create friction with your boss and coworkers? Bring healthy snacks and lean proteins to have before and after if you don't think that the calorically favorable choices at this place will keep you full.0
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bigblondewolf wrote: »Looking for some help to handle a bit of a sticky situation.
Our work is ordering in for a mandatory "celebration lunch" (yes, attendance is mandatory, don't ask) for all of the employees in our location. We're all expected to put in our order to the chain restaurant they've chosen.
But I'd rather bring my own lunch and use the calories for better food that I actually enjoy and that doesn't make me feel ill.
When I told my boss this I was told to "just get a salad."
How do I get out of this without causing awkward friction without my employer?
I would bring this to HR dept. if you have one within your company.
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Find a new place to work.0
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Get the food, have a couple bites and pretend to enjoy it! Then throw the rest away and eat your own lunch at your desk. Problem solved.0
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This sounds like total BS to me! They might be able to require you to be at the lunch (like they could a meeting), but they can't dictate what you eat. I'd tell your boss again that you will bring your own lunch to the gathering and there is no need for them to spend money on a meal you don't need. If he insists, maybe order something, but I'd still bring and eat my own food.0
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Order whatever, pick at it a bit during the shindig. Then, eat your own lunch when you go back to your desk and you're pretty sure nobody's (or at least your boss isn't) looking.0
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bigblondewolf wrote: »Looking for some help to handle a bit of a sticky situation.
Our work is ordering in for a mandatory "celebration lunch" (yes, attendance is mandatory, don't ask) for all of the employees in our location. We're all expected to put in our order to the chain restaurant they've chosen.
But I'd rather bring my own lunch and use the calories for better food that I actually enjoy and that doesn't make me feel ill.
When I told my boss this I was told to "just get a salad."
How do I get out of this without causing awkward friction without my employer?
In my office there was a list of acceptable foods...that we could eat and that list was probably 30 years old. I went to the hr dept and that list was revised to a huge healthy list. It was a change in the right direction.
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janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.
I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.
But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »I get that I can order a salad, but I don't see why I should have to get a boring salad when I could just eat my own delicious lunch. I mean, there's nothing wrong with bringing my own food and eating it at the table with them, is there?
This happened to my husband, it's about perception. The others might perceive you as being difficult or snobby...you get the idea. Doesn't mean it's right, but it makes you stand out and you can't control what others think, and it doesn't matter what others think most of the time, but when you have to work with others and you can't control what they think you usually try to avoid coming off as difficult or high maintenance even if you don't mean to. It's not fair but hey that's life.
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Just say you don't like that chain restaurant, and that you'll be there, but will be bringing your own lunch. If they push the issue, say they can order you whatever they want, but you won't be eating it because you don't like it. Easy.0
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be part of the team. check out the low cal options at the chain restaurant, and celebrate success with everyon.0
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Then order the salad and eat it or not. At the very least you're making an effort.bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
And I didn't "mock" anyone for the way they eat. I don't care what other people eat, I just don't want to be forced to eat food I don't want and that doesn't make me feel good for the sake of keeping the social peace.
You don't have to mock people by saying anything. If you bring your own food to a luncheon that's being offered to everyone, the perception is that the food isn't good enough for you. Actions do speak volumes even when nothing is said.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Then order the salad and eat it or not. At the very least you're making an effort.bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
And I didn't "mock" anyone for the way they eat. I don't care what other people eat, I just don't want to be forced to eat food I don't want and that doesn't make me feel good for the sake of keeping the social peace.
You don't have to mock people by saying anything. If you bring your own food to a luncheon that's being offered to everyone, the perception is that the food isn't good enough for you. Actions do speak volumes even when nothing is said.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
So by your logic I have to eat what everyone else is going to be eating (even if it makes me sick) or I'll appear judgey and overly difficult?0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.
I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.
But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.
I don't think you are being overly difficult.
I think, as a long-time corporate veteran who admittedly doesn't know anything about your workplace, that you may be a bit rigid. Food is an important vehicle for social connection in our society and sometimes "breaking bread" with others can be an important way to build team connections, especially if the purpose of the event is recognition or celebration.
I'm vegan, so I'm certainly acquainted with the not-much-to-order/nothing-interesting-to-order issue. My personal take is that it's just one meal and it has a wider meaning that what you eat. In these situations, I just eat something that fits my ethical stance without worrying too much about how delicious it is. And sometimes that means just eating a tiny bit and then having my real meal later. You're free to disagree. In your workplace, it may be no big deal. I know that in certain workplaces, taking a stand on an issue like this could wind up having undesirable consequences in terms of how others perceive you.
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Lots of business people may construe this as a form of insubordination though. While it's only a lunch, the action may get noticed and a "hey watch this person and if they can't comply with what we want them to do, get rid of them" reaction might entail. Office gossip spreads fast too.Burt_Huttz wrote: »Bring your own lunch. If you get a hard time from anyone, let them know that you feel uncomfortable taking instructions from coworkers about what to put inside your body.
I'm always for doing what's right for the person. In this case, the right move may be to just go along so it doesn't jeopardize them just because of a disagreement on food choice.
Is it right? Nope. But as mentioned, some office dynamics don't care.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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