Pushy Co-Workers
Replies
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hollyrayburn wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Were it me and was told I HAD to order something, I'd order it, then throw it away, unopened, right in front of my boss.
No one has the right to tell you what you put in your body other than you.
And you're not being frigid, OP. Hell, these are coworkers. Though I'm sure you enjoy getting Ali g with them, work isn't a "social setting" and you shouldn't be forced to "break bread" with anyone.
I have a coworker who is constantly bringing in good. DELICIOUS food. She's a great cook. The other day, she offered me some lasagna she'd made. I said no thanks, looks awesome, but I brought something. She kept on. "Don't you love me, don't you think I cook good?" I said yes, just let me know next time, and I'll bring in some garlic bread. Later, she put a piece in a plate, came up to me, and tried FEEDING it to me like a kid, saying one piece won't hurt. Needless to say, it was thrown away.
If they call you insubordinate or try to write you up for not eating what they seem, speak with HR. That is 100% discrimination. And forcing you to potentially kill yourself by only giving options with things you're allergic to? Deliberate indifference. .
Just. No.
No? That I should have allowed coworker to put unwanted food in my mouth? Or no, that people should eat what a company tells them to? Sorry, but it IS discrimination. What if, as I am overweight, I was told I couldn't order pizza? Or I shouldn't have brought in a dessert I had made? Would the tables be turned then?
I don't see what either of those situations has to do with this one.\
By all appearances, the boss thought the salad option would work for the employee. When it was discovered that it wouldn't and both options wouldn't work, the plan was changed. OP can now bring her own food. Nobody tried to kill OP, she was never in danger. Things were worked out because people talked it out like rational people.
Actions like you suggest -- throwing the food away, unopened, right in front of your boss -- are absolutely inappropriate for adults in the workplace. You may do those sorts of things at work, but most of us (I hope) don't.0 -
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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janejellyroll wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Were it me and was told I HAD to order something, I'd order it, then throw it away, unopened, right in front of my boss.
No one has the right to tell you what you put in your body other than you.
And you're not being frigid, OP. Hell, these are coworkers. Though I'm sure you enjoy getting Ali g with them, work isn't a "social setting" and you shouldn't be forced to "break bread" with anyone.
I have a coworker who is constantly bringing in good. DELICIOUS food. She's a great cook. The other day, she offered me some lasagna she'd made. I said no thanks, looks awesome, but I brought something. She kept on. "Don't you love me, don't you think I cook good?" I said yes, just let me know next time, and I'll bring in some garlic bread. Later, she put a piece in a plate, came up to me, and tried FEEDING it to me like a kid, saying one piece won't hurt. Needless to say, it was thrown away.
If they call you insubordinate or try to write you up for not eating what they seem, speak with HR. That is 100% discrimination. And forcing you to potentially kill yourself by only giving options with things you're allergic to? Deliberate indifference. .
Just. No.
No? That I should have allowed coworker to put unwanted food in my mouth? Or no, that people should eat what a company tells them to? Sorry, but it IS discrimination. What if, as I am overweight, I was told I couldn't order pizza? Or I shouldn't have brought in a dessert I had made? Would the tables be turned then?
I don't see what either of those situations has to do with this one.\
By all appearances, the boss thought the salad option would work for the employee. When it was discovered that it wouldn't and both options wouldn't work, the plan was changed. OP can now bring her own food. Nobody tried to kill OP, she was never in danger. Things were worked out because people talked it out like rational people.
Actions like you suggest -- throwing the food away, unopened, right in front of your boss -- are absolutely inappropriate for adults in the workplace. You may do those sorts of things at work, but most of us (I hope) don't.
BINGO!
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So where exactly is your line? What if it's a bi-weekly meeting and the only option is fried chicken, baked beans, and french fries? I know, I know. "I'll just work it in." But should you have to? Every week twice a week. Shouldn't you be able to stick to your goals without being forced to eat something you don't want?janejellyroll wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »Look at all the trail-blazin bad@sses out there giving the finger to corporate culture... never knew we had so many tough guys in the average office.
The amount of "You can't tell me what to do!" in this thread is ridiculous. You'd think we were talking about forcing people to change religion or inform on their parents, not pick at a salad for a routine work lunch.
A bi-weekly meeting with a fixed menu sounds a lot different than a one time recognition event where the employee is given the option of ordering a salad.
That said, if I was in that situation, I would talk to my boss and work it out like a reasonable person. I have been vegan for nine years and I've never once had to compromise my ethics at work. And I've done it without one instance of "Whatever, I'll do what I want!"
I think you might be fundamentally misunderstanding my point.
My point is that issues like this should be resolved through discussion and compromise (not one-sided submission, as you seem to think I am suggesting). I'm not saying people should be forced to eat anything. But sometimes when we have special goals or restrictions, we have to be creative and flexible. Things like hiring a lawyer, going to HR, throwing an unopened food container in the trash in front of the boss -- these are the things that I think are silly and counter-productive.0 -
It must be nice to live in a land of plenty...and throw perfectly good errr food anyway. in the garbage rather than simply say/ "no thank you" wow. smh.!!!!0
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Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Were it me and was told I HAD to order something, I'd order it, then throw it away, unopened, right in front of my boss.
No one has the right to tell you what you put in your body other than you.
And you're not being frigid, OP. Hell, these are coworkers. Though I'm sure you enjoy getting Ali g with them, work isn't a "social setting" and you shouldn't be forced to "break bread" with anyone.
I have a coworker who is constantly bringing in good. DELICIOUS food. She's a great cook. The other day, she offered me some lasagna she'd made. I said no thanks, looks awesome, but I brought something. She kept on. "Don't you love me, don't you think I cook good?" I said yes, just let me know next time, and I'll bring in some garlic bread. Later, she put a piece in a plate, came up to me, and tried FEEDING it to me like a kid, saying one piece won't hurt. Needless to say, it was thrown away.
If they call you insubordinate or try to write you up for not eating what they seem, speak with HR. That is 100% discrimination. And forcing you to potentially kill yourself by only giving options with things you're allergic to? Deliberate indifference. .
Just. No.
No? That I should have allowed coworker to put unwanted food in my mouth? Or no, that people should eat what a company tells them to? Sorry, but it IS discrimination. What if, as I am overweight, I was told I couldn't order pizza? Or I shouldn't have brought in a dessert I had made? Would the tables be turned then?
I don't see what either of those situations has to do with this one.\
By all appearances, the boss thought the salad option would work for the employee. When it was discovered that it wouldn't and both options wouldn't work, the plan was changed. OP can now bring her own food. Nobody tried to kill OP, she was never in danger. Things were worked out because people talked it out like rational people.
Actions like you suggest -- throwing the food away, unopened, right in front of your boss -- are absolutely inappropriate for adults in the workplace. You may do those sorts of things at work, but most of us (I hope) don't.
I've been with my company for ten years, and luckily (with the exception of the one coworker), we all tend to have a healthy relationship. No one else tries to shove food down my throat, nor tells me to "just get a salad" if they order out, and I decline. If they were to get pissed at me for declining a meal or a "mandatory" celebration or whatnot, so be it. I am there to do a job, take care of folks, and then leave. Not be your friend. I rarely become a "spitball" (as my granny would have said lol) but something someone should never be able to tell someone else is what, if any, God they pray to, what medication/vaccination/etc is placed in your body, or what food you fuel your body with. It's their choice.0 -
corporate culture (politics) involve spinelessnes. smh0
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janejellyroll wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Were it me and was told I HAD to order something, I'd order it, then throw it away, unopened, right in front of my boss.
No one has the right to tell you what you put in your body other than you.
And you're not being frigid, OP. Hell, these are coworkers. Though I'm sure you enjoy getting Ali g with them, work isn't a "social setting" and you shouldn't be forced to "break bread" with anyone.
I have a coworker who is constantly bringing in good. DELICIOUS food. She's a great cook. The other day, she offered me some lasagna she'd made. I said no thanks, looks awesome, but I brought something. She kept on. "Don't you love me, don't you think I cook good?" I said yes, just let me know next time, and I'll bring in some garlic bread. Later, she put a piece in a plate, came up to me, and tried FEEDING it to me like a kid, saying one piece won't hurt. Needless to say, it was thrown away.
If they call you insubordinate or try to write you up for not eating what they seem, speak with HR. That is 100% discrimination. And forcing you to potentially kill yourself by only giving options with things you're allergic to? Deliberate indifference. .
Just. No.
No? That I should have allowed coworker to put unwanted food in my mouth? Or no, that people should eat what a company tells them to? Sorry, but it IS discrimination. What if, as I am overweight, I was told I couldn't order pizza? Or I shouldn't have brought in a dessert I had made? Would the tables be turned then?
I don't see what either of those situations has to do with this one.\
By all appearances, the boss thought the salad option would work for the employee. When it was discovered that it wouldn't and both options wouldn't work, the plan was changed. OP can now bring her own food. Nobody tried to kill OP, she was never in danger. Things were worked out because people talked it out like rational people.
Actions like you suggest -- throwing the food away, unopened, right in front of your boss -- are absolutely inappropriate for adults in the workplace. You may do those sorts of things at work, but most of us (I hope) don't.
meh- if you make your plan/point/intentions quiet clear and the boss gives YOU he middle finger and says don't like it tough titties- guess what I'll happily throw unopened food away as a point of contention.
I firmly believe that's a reasonable reaction to being treated like a child instead of like an adult. These are not kids at your BBQ- these are professionals- that should be allowed to eat what they want.
I have no problem acting like a child if you treat me like one.0 -
Actually they "step" over everyone else who's average. There's no love loss in the corporate world. But they still need average people to get work done. And TEAM play is still important for a smooth running operation.RealFoodisGood wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »Look at all the trail-blazin bad@sses out there giving the finger to corporate culture... never knew we had so many tough guys in the average office.
You don't. The tough guys climb higher than average.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »I'm guessing this isn't as big a deal as it seems. I'm betting if you pushed back and just bottom lined that you were doing a program/dieting/have specific dietary needs it'd be no big deal. Stand up for yourself. That aside, if you're going the no friction route just order the salad (or anything else) and just don't eat much or any of it. Say you're not hungry or you're full. Sneak off and dump it out. Say you feel ill and don't feel like eating it. On the off chance that this really is a big issue and your boss is genuinely forcing you to eat something you don't want then perhaps it's time to contact a lawyer. I'm sure that violates some kind of employer/employee boundary.
Yes, a lawsuit should set everything right.
I'd much rather hire a lawyer than pick at an unappealing salad.
It's an extreme for an extreme. If your employer is forcing you, and I mean literally saying "You will eat what we say or else," that's crossing a line. Like I said, this probably isn't the case.
I don't think her employer was going to monitor her intake or force her to clean her plate. He simply wanted her to participate in the celebration with the rest of the employees and (potentially) expressed it in a tone-deaf way.
I've often offered to bring my own food to corporate events (because, like OP, I consider my own cooking to be more interesting than the vegan options available or because I didn't want an admin to have to make a special effort on my part) and my offer is virtually always rejected. Bosses have this weird impression that you won't feel adequately recognized if they don't spend a bit of money buying you food, even if it is food you don't want. It's bizarre, but most of the time it comes from a decent place.
You can stand up for your principals and file a lawsuit (although I'm not sure it would survive) or you can recognize that the working world has some weird stuff and we should just let a lot of it go.
Some of the suggestions in this thread (hire a lawyer, go to HR) make me wonder what jobs people have. Maybe I've just been in the corporate world too long, but this sounds completely normal to me.
Well this thread got a little out of hand pretty quickly lol.
Yeah, I would never take this to HR let alone even a lawyer. That's overkill for sure.
It's a non-issue now though anyway. They've stated they're only doing two food options (neither of which I can eat due to allergies). So I'm assuming that lets me off the hook.
I think it totally lets you off the hook. Explain to your boss that you have food allergies and that you're happy to go but would like to select another option that is safe for you to eat so you can feel like you're participating with the group.
And (not saying that you're doing this by any means) then there's no need to make a big deal out of anything or for anyone else to wrinkle up their noses at what you're eating. And if they do? *kitten* them if chicken or a salad is offensive. If that's the worst thing they see that day, they're having a damn good day.
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hollyrayburn wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »Were it me and was told I HAD to order something, I'd order it, then throw it away, unopened, right in front of my boss.
No one has the right to tell you what you put in your body other than you.
And you're not being frigid, OP. Hell, these are coworkers. Though I'm sure you enjoy getting Ali g with them, work isn't a "social setting" and you shouldn't be forced to "break bread" with anyone.
I have a coworker who is constantly bringing in good. DELICIOUS food. She's a great cook. The other day, she offered me some lasagna she'd made. I said no thanks, looks awesome, but I brought something. She kept on. "Don't you love me, don't you think I cook good?" I said yes, just let me know next time, and I'll bring in some garlic bread. Later, she put a piece in a plate, came up to me, and tried FEEDING it to me like a kid, saying one piece won't hurt. Needless to say, it was thrown away.
If they call you insubordinate or try to write you up for not eating what they seem, speak with HR. That is 100% discrimination. And forcing you to potentially kill yourself by only giving options with things you're allergic to? Deliberate indifference. .
Just. No.
No? That I should have allowed coworker to put unwanted food in my mouth? Or no, that people should eat what a company tells them to? Sorry, but it IS discrimination. What if, as I am overweight, I was told I couldn't order pizza? Or I shouldn't have brought in a dessert I had made? Would the tables be turned then?
I don't see what either of those situations has to do with this one.\
By all appearances, the boss thought the salad option would work for the employee. When it was discovered that it wouldn't and both options wouldn't work, the plan was changed. OP can now bring her own food. Nobody tried to kill OP, she was never in danger. Things were worked out because people talked it out like rational people.
Actions like you suggest -- throwing the food away, unopened, right in front of your boss -- are absolutely inappropriate for adults in the workplace. You may do those sorts of things at work, but most of us (I hope) don't.
I've been with my company for ten years, and luckily (with the exception of the one coworker), we all tend to have a healthy relationship. No one else tries to shove food down my throat, nor tells me to "just get a salad" if they order out, and I decline. If they were to get pissed at me for declining a meal or a "mandatory" celebration or whatnot, so be it. I am there to do a job, take care of folks, and then leave. Not be your friend. I rarely become a "spitball" (as my granny would have said lol) but something someone should never be able to tell someone else is what, if any, God they pray to, what medication/vaccination/etc is placed in your body, or what food you fuel your body with. It's their choice.
Well, I am glad you have found a company culture you can fit in with. Other companies place a stronger focus on teamwork. This has nothing to do with dictating what god you worship, by the way. Not everything has to be a battle. Sometimes talking things out is the best option, as OP's case demonstrates.
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bigblondewolf wrote: »PeachyPlum wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Then order the salad and eat it or not. At the very least you're making an effort.bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
And I didn't "mock" anyone for the way they eat. I don't care what other people eat, I just don't want to be forced to eat food I don't want and that doesn't make me feel good for the sake of keeping the social peace.
You don't have to mock people by saying anything. If you bring your own food to a luncheon that's being offered to everyone, the perception is that the food isn't good enough for you. Actions do speak volumes even when nothing is said.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
So by your logic I have to eat what everyone else is going to be eating (even if it makes me sick) or I'll appear judgey and overly difficult?
I'm somewhat confused: I thought your issue with ordering a salad is that it would be "boring," not that it would make you sick. Is there absolutely nothing you can order that will not make you ill?
Yes, that escalated when she didn't get the answer that she wanted. That seems to happen a lot around here.
No, it was clear from the start that I had food allergies. It might have gotten buried under the posts suggesting I get a lawyer though lol.
I do agree with everyone that it's best to make as few waves at possible in the corporate environment. And my original post was asking how to navigate the situation in a diplomatic way without stepping on toes.
Sorry, I must have missed that at the beginning - I remembered the part about salad being boring, but I overlooked the allergy information!0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
I don't think team morale can be galvanized through communal sharing of subpar sandwiches, but I KNOW that you can quickly find yourself on the outs if you're the one person that is putting up a fuss about the subpar sandwiches. But if you're socially savvy, polite, and professional about your allergies you should be ok.
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janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.
Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.0 -
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nods...HardcoreP0rk wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
I don't think team morale can be galvanized through communal sharing of subpar sandwiches, but I KNOW that you can quickly find yourself on the outs if you're the one person that is putting up a fuss about the subpar sandwiches. But if you're socially savvy, polite, and professional about your allergies you should be ok.
I generally go with morally superior with a strong side of sarcasm- it's like powerhour of uncomfortable- but it weeds out the people with a sense of humor and people who I can tolerate or not.
#doesnotplaywellwithothers
#butthefewthatdo*werock*
LOL0 -
It sounds like you have your mind made up. No need to ask for advice here. You are looking for people to agree with you, not offer a different option. You are saying no essentially to everything everyone is suggesting. Sorry, not trying to come off rude or insensitive. I know it's a struggle to eat healthier options when co-workers aren't. I think we all can relate. Good luck!0
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bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.
Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.
Unfortunately there are just a handful of "us" (people who don't want the terrible sandwiches for whatever reason), so we tend to fall through the cracks.0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.
Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.
There is perhaps a lack of sensitivity here on the part of your company. We're much more careful about it. When we have events, there's always a fish option on Friday, there's a vegetarian option at every meal, and we have GF and Crohn's friendly special meals on hand for our employees with serious dietary restrictions.
We also have very talented people planning the events, and super nice / accommodating admins that work with us. Maybe come work here? You'd probably like it.0 -
HardcoreP0rk wrote: »RealFoodisGood wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »Look at all the trail-blazin bad@sses out there giving the finger to corporate culture... never knew we had so many tough guys in the average office.
You don't. The tough guys climb higher than average.
And yet, everyone in my annual sales kickoff makes over $100k annually and they all still manage to eat, drink, and play nicely with the others. 0 -
HardcoreP0rk wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.
Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.
There is perhaps a lack of sensitivity here on the part of your company. We're much more careful about it. When we have events, there's always a fish option on Friday, there's a vegetarian option at every meal, and we have GF and Crohn's friendly special meals on hand for our employees with serious dietary restrictions.
We also have very talented people planning the events, and super nice / accommodating admins that work with us. Maybe come work here? You'd probably like it.
Much nicer than my company, and we are in the healthcare industry. You would think.....0 -
Wow, my company does the same exact thing! We have a company and a sales lunch meeting every week, meaning we have to order off a menu of their choice twice a week. It's a challenge but I try my best to stay on the healthier side when ordering.0
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HardcoreP0rk wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »
Lol, and there are lots of office workers who can eat whatever is being ordered and be lean and fit too.Did someone actually say that we sometimes have to eat a "shi( sandwich" YOU MAY but I don't and wont'
Social situations at work the restaurants chosen, the food at pot lucks etc are operating from an antiquated systems...be brave enough to help that system fall to the way side. The majority of office workers are obese for a reason...be brave.
The OP is off the hook here due to allergies to the food so it's no longer an issue, but if the "be brave" stance gets taken and people at work then deem that person difficult to deal with on such a "simple" issue, it may make working with these individuals more difficult. Again, it's more a about a "team" bonding here and not personal preferences on food choices. Team aspects aren't about individuality.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Maybe I'm naïve, but I don't see how what I eat has anything to do with a "team" mentality. It's not like we'd all become bffs over the fact that we're eating the same crappy catered sandwiches lol.
Choosing something different can be polarizing. What you aren't eating can serve as a powerful reminder to others of what they ARE eating. I see this play out on an ethical level as a vegan -- some people are very alienated by my choice not to eat animal products. And it can also happen on a health level.
Sharing food is powerful. I am not saying you should turn your back on your goals (I don't turn my back on mine), but I don't think it is something that can be dismissed.
Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.
There is perhaps a lack of sensitivity here on the part of your company. We're much more careful about it. When we have events, there's always a fish option on Friday, there's a vegetarian option at every meal, and we have GF and Crohn's friendly special meals on hand for our employees with serious dietary restrictions.
We also have very talented people planning the events, and super nice / accommodating admins that work with us. Maybe come work here? You'd probably like it.
Sounds like a dream company. I'm in! When do I start?
lol 0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »Hmm, I can see where that would come into play for sure. It's funny though, because to me it feels more alienating that they're actively choosing not to make people who eat differently uncomfortable.
Ah well, I'll still be there with them at the table with my own lunch so at least I'll physically be there with everyone.
This? Is so freaking hard to navigate, because I've been on both sides of the equation at one time or another. Whichever side I've been on, I've always felt somewhat resentful.
The best rule of thumb I have is that if it's a meeting or a training type of thing, it's fine to bring your own lunch and pass on the soggy Piggly Wiggly sandwiches. In fact, a lot of coworkers lament that they didn't do the same thing.
If the meal is intended for a celebration or morale booster, it's best just to pretend to be grateful, nibble on whatever there is that you actually can eat without getting sick, and eat your real lunch later without fanfare.
0 -
bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Can you eat part of the salad and enjoy the celebration with your peers and use your lunch items to snack before or after the event?
It doesn't really matter what we think. It matters what your boss thinks. I guess you know better than we do if you can push him further on this issue.
I have to agree with this. We don't know your work dynamics like you do. At mine, there'd be no issue with someone not ordering a lunch with the group and bringing their own. If your boss is insisting it may just be best for you to suck it up and make a show of eating some of the salad while you're in the meeting.
Yeah I suppose that's true. It's just frustrating because a lot of foods upset my stomach and at this office going out for big greasy lunches together is the only way to get ahead.
It's almost like they look down on anyone making healthier choices.
They're not looking down on healthy eating. They don't understand why you don't play the game, and don't respect the fact that you won't. I'm sure they think you look down on them, which leads to further alienation and hurt feelings.
This situation has absolutely nothing to do with food, and everything to do with socializing. You seems to be using food to hold yourself apart from everyone else in the office, not realizing that it's cutting you off from what actually matters. If you can get ahead by going out with them then do it! You don't have to eat greasy food. I'm sure those places offer healthy (or healthy-ish) choices, so you can go for those. Or you can order an unsweetened tea and a small side.
You need to do your best to fix the rift before it gets worse. Be proactive instead of acting like a victim.0 -
HardcoreP0rk wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »HardcoreP0rk wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »bigblondewolf wrote: »Be a team player here. Just making the effort speaks louder of your integrity rather than opposing. It's one meal not a commitment to eating that way forever.
We always have potlucks at my office gym and people bring food that's considered "unhealthy" by many standards. Some eat it, some don't. But they at least show up and don't mock the others for doing so.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It's not just about the healthy value of the food - as I stated earlier, a lot of the menu options they're giving make me feel very ill. And my boss is not accommodating.
You don't have to order one that will make you feel ill. You can, as your boss suggested, order the salad. I get that it isn't exciting, but one lunch isn't really going to make you die of boredom.
I don't think objecting to being told what to put in my body is being overly difficult.
But if that's the consensus of the majority, then I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up.
I'll be honest, you sound like you're being a really high-maintenance PITA and I would be so annoyed if I were your boss. I don't think you should take it to HR. I don't think you should insist on doing your own thing.
I think you should order the least offensive thing possible, eat as much or as little as you can manage, have a good time, and add healthy snacks before and after if you need to. Once in a while, our work requirements extend past being at our desk from 9-5. Get used to it, and be a team player.
Frankly, I'm surprised at you and disappointed in how many people I see here suggesting you should be difficult about this.
I should probably clarify that's it's not just an issue of me being picky with my food. I have food allergies (that my work knows of) and I'm always wary of eating food that has been prepared by a chain restaurant.
It's a non-issue now anyway though, we've just been told that there are only two menu options, neither of which I can order due to allergies. So I'm off the hook I guess lol.
But thanks to everyone for the input!
If they are only offering 2 options, which both affect your food allergies then you're definitely off the hook. We handle food allergies for our people and take that stuff seriously. So at our events, they will bring out a separate plate for the 2-3 people that have issues. We do not have anyone, not even people with extremely severe Crohn's disease, who refuses to eat what we provide at any event. Ever.
I have extremely severe Crohn's disease and will absolutely refuse to eat something that I know could potentially cause me to end up in the ER.0
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