Sex.. Is it really what keeps the relationship together?

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  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    It's all about Honesty and Mutual respect! You have to be Friends as well as Lovers, otherwise there is really no Love only Lust!
  • Of_Monsters_and_Meat
    Of_Monsters_and_Meat Posts: 1,022 Member
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    I'm looking for more relationships in my life.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    does sex really determin the strength of your relationship? Just curious. I've had multiple friends who are mid twenties late twenties constantly blaming their sexual experiences with there partners to be the reason for their relationship to end or going south. I mean, if you truly "love" someone why concentrate so much on satisfaction instead of sensuality. I'm old fashion if you get what I'm saying

    sex itself isnt that important, but being compatible in the bedroom is...

    i had a friend who was an every other day kind of fella... his girlfriend and then wife was a once a month kind of lady... it didnt work...
  • MalineVD
    MalineVD Posts: 649 Member
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    It really is important. It's what keeping you from having a brother/sister or bestfriend kinda relationship.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
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    In my opinion and experiences. Sex only becomes the focus of the relationship when you or your partner is not satisfied with quality or frequency. if both are happy with it, then it becomes a very trivial part of most relationships.
  • BigEdge
    BigEdge Posts: 1,754 Member
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    communication leads to a good relationship, that ends in satisfactory sex. when the communication breaks down, and sex is interrupted - then it is all important.
    - my $.02
  • ricomincia
    ricomincia Posts: 229 Member
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    Difficult one really.... think it is one of the key components of a healthy relationship. As always every relationship is unique as long as needs are being met by both.
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    darktolight wrote: »
    No...not really...cuddles, communication and understanding are much more important i.m.o

    This. Sex tends to fade in all relationship, but if the cuddles fade, you have issues.

  • ricomincia
    ricomincia Posts: 229 Member
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    kristen6350 wrote: »
    darktolight wrote: »
    No...not really...cuddles, communication and understanding are much more important i.m.o

    This. Sex tends to fade in all relationship, but if the cuddles fade, you have issues.

    Agree 100%. :(
  • chelsy0587
    chelsy0587 Posts: 441 Member
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    I think this is a matter of personal preference... I'm a very deep person, I crave a deep emotional connection to my partner and one of the easiest ways to get that is to connect with sex.

    That said, I get just enough to keep me hanging on and its not happy, or healthy in my opinion. He doesn't have the same drive as I do, I also think he doesn't see sex as a sensual act... most times it seems like maintenance for him.

    For some people sex is very important, or the lack there of...
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    does sex really determin the strength of your relationship? Just curious. I've had multiple friends who are mid twenties late twenties constantly blaming their sexual experiences with there partners to be the reason for their relationship to end or going south. I mean, if you truly "love" someone why concentrate so much on satisfaction instead of sensuality. I'm old fashion if you get what I'm saying

    sex itself isnt that important, but being compatible in the bedroom is...

    i had a friend who was an every other day kind of fella... his girlfriend and then wife was a once a month kind of lady... it didnt work...

    This happened to me. My ex never wanted it and I wanted it a lot more. It put a huge strain on relationship and begin causing problems in other areas.

    I refused to be with someone going forward that isn't more on the same page. Is it everything def not. Is it very important. Yes.

    Doesn't have to be just sex, i agree its about what you want. Cuddling etc physical chemistry.
  • Belle8312
    Belle8312 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    You have to have some type of physical connection with someone. When the physical relationship starts breaking down, often times this results in more issues.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    mocadet95 wrote: »
    Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!

    How can you say anything about sex? Sorry not sorry you have no idea since you never had sex.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    jnv7594 wrote: »
    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    jnv7594 wrote: »
    Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.

    Okay so because you basically had the best sex of your life do you think you would've still like him if he was semi bad?

    As a person of course I would have still liked him, but it definitely made our connection stronger than it would have been if we hadn't had good sexual chemistry. My relationship with him was on a different level than it had been with anyone else. Just my experience. I know for some sex is not a big deal, but for me, sexual chemistry is important. And I didn't realize how important it was until I had a relationship like I did with him. Trust me, once you have mind blowing sex (and maybe you have I don't know) it's a game changer, lol.

    Mind blowing sex. I don't think I had that. :sad:

  • Heartisalonelyhunter
    Heartisalonelyhunter Posts: 786 Member
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    I think it is. It's a major way for a couple to demonstrate love and reinforce emotional ties ( and the fact that they still find each other attractive) . I don't think that can be done only in a platonic way. Any good sex makes everyone happier. Endorphins are your friend! Happy couples stay together.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?

    No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    It depends on the person. People with similar sex drives are a good match. Some people really don't care about it so much, some people almost never want it, and some people want it all the time. Having two people with completely different libidos is always going to leave one of them wanting and the other feeling pressured.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    MeganMoroz89 wrote: »
    Chaelaz wrote: »
    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?

    No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.

    I disagree.

    If a person complains that they don't have enough sex with their partner that can simply mean that they have a high libido that isn't being satisfied, and that's it.

    Sure, in a few instances that can be the case. With people I know it just isn't - at least as the major make or break point of staying together or separating.

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    Personally, my sexual satisfaction is directly related to how dee
    Chaelaz wrote: »
    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    does sex really determin the strength of your relationship?

    No. Interest and satisfaction with sexual relations is about the quality of the relationship with the person. When unhappy couples complain and say they don't have enough sex, that is almost always a symptom of other true relationship issues.

    So much this! Personally, my sexual satisfaction is related to the quality of my relationship and how I feel about that person. For me, it's more about the connection and bond rather than the physical act.
  • Markdjones83
    Markdjones83 Posts: 852 Member
    edited March 2015
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    I think the takeaway is the compatibility sexually. Some people view it as helping the connection, some people view it as a result of the emotional connection.

    See i think it helps build the emotional connection, some view it the opposite. When having issues emotionally i think connecting physically can help rebuild the emotional. They really just go hand in hand in my opinion.

    If i'm not having sex with you then you are no more than a really great friend.

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