Sex.. Is it really what keeps the relationship together?

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natalegreen2015
natalegreen2015 Posts: 33 Member
in Chit-Chat
does sex really determin the strength of your relationship? Just curious. I've had multiple friends who are mid twenties late twenties constantly blaming their sexual experiences with there partners to be the reason for their relationship to end or going south. I mean, if you truly "love" someone why concentrate so much on satisfaction instead of sensuality. I'm old fashion if you get what I'm saying
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Replies

  • Jessica_L_E
    Jessica_L_E Posts: 1,969 Member
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    Here's my opinion and I'm 40 and have been in a few relationships lol my last relationship determined for me that good sex is definitely in my top 5 requirements because my last BF had no drive, was boring and was completely unaffectionate...I mean there was no cuddling, hand holding, kissing...nadda zilch nothing...I would lay in bed thinking "this can't be the rest of my life." So for YES sex is important...chemistry and passion are important. Yes. Period. (At least for me)
  • natalegreen2015
    natalegreen2015 Posts: 33 Member
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    Curvaceousnsassy wrote: »
    Here's my opinion and I'm 40 and have been in a few relationships lol my last relationship determined for me that good sex is definitely in my top 5 requirements because my last BF had no drive, was boring and was completely unaffectionate...I mean there was no cuddling, hand holding, kissing...nadda zilch nothing...I would lay in bed thinking "this can't be the rest of my life." So for YES sex is important...chemistry and passion are important. Yes. Period. (At least for me)

    Hahahha okay that I can understand no spice in your life can definitely be boring. Understandable
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
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    Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.
  • natalegreen2015
    natalegreen2015 Posts: 33 Member
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    jnv7594 wrote: »
    Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.

    Okay so because you basically had the best sex of your life do you think you would've still like him if he was semi bad?
  • jnv7594
    jnv7594 Posts: 983 Member
    edited March 2015
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    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    jnv7594 wrote: »
    Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.

    Okay so because you basically had the best sex of your life do you think you would've still like him if he was semi bad?

    As a person of course I would have still liked him, but it definitely made our connection stronger than it would have been if we hadn't had good sexual chemistry. My relationship with him was on a different level than it had been with anyone else. Just my experience. I know for some sex is not a big deal, but for me, sexual chemistry is important. And I didn't realize how important it was until I had a relationship like I did with him. Trust me, once you have mind blowing sex (and maybe you have I don't know) it's a game changer, lol.

  • natalegreen2015
    natalegreen2015 Posts: 33 Member
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    jnv7594 wrote: »
    natalegreen2015 wrote: »
    jnv7594 wrote: »
    Is it the only thing that keeps a relationship together? No. But it's a big part of it...at least for me. Sexual chemistry is important, and for me, it makes the relationship stronger. I've been in both really good and really bad relationships sexually speaking. One in particular was the best sexual relationship I had ever been in. Honestly, I did not fully understand what an orgasm felt like until I met this person. I also felt a much deeper connection to him than anyone else I had been with.

    Okay so because you basically had the best sex of your life do you think you would've still like him if he was semi bad?

    As a person of course I would have still liked him, but it definitely made our connection stronger than it would have been if we hadn't had good sexual chemistry. My relationship with him was on a different level than it had been with anyone else. Just my experience. I know for some sex is not a big deal, but for me, sexual chemistry is important. And I didn't realize how important until I had a relationship like I did with him. Trust me, once you have mind blowing sex (and maybe you have I don't know) it's a game changer, lol.

    That's understandable, makes a lot of sense
  • acquilla30
    acquilla30 Posts: 147 Member
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    I'm in my early 30s so sex is still important. Of course other things matter, but nothing will bring down a relationship faster than problems in the bedroom.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    Yes
  • MikeCrazy
    MikeCrazy Posts: 2,716 Member
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    My answer is this: Yes, and no. Sex is like extra glue to help hold the joints together, but what really keeps a relationship together is real covenant-like commitment. Most people have no clue as to what that is....sadly. It means you make yourself into the best person you can be for your spouse/so. It means selflessness on both sides, especially your own. It means that you actually fix problems rather than making them worse. Think about some of the people who can't have sex due to loss of, or other disabilities who have been in committed relationships which extend beyond death even. It has very little to do with sex in reality.
  • BigEdge
    BigEdge Posts: 1,754 Member
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    yes.
  • darktolight
    darktolight Posts: 226
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    No...not really...cuddles, communication and understanding are much more important i.m.o
  • Travis_2
    Travis_2 Posts: 1,445 Member
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    Old fashioned.
    19.


    Got it.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My opinion is that if the sex is good it's a small but important part of the relationship. If the sex is bad it's a HUGE and REALLY IMPORTANT part of your relationship. I don't know why it should be the case, but that has been my experience.

    It may not be the same for all couples, however.
  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
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    Your sex life or satisfaction with your sex life is a great relationship barometer.

    Is it the end all be all? No

    But it is a common place for other relationship problems to surface.
  • mocadet95
    mocadet95 Posts: 75 Member
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    Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!
  • breezymom81
    breezymom81 Posts: 499 Member
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    Is it important...oh GOD YES!!! It is all, nope - not even close. Example, my husband in in stage 5 kidney failure and hooked to dialysis 10 hours a night...kinda puts a cramp in getting it on. It just doesn't happen much right now. Am I leaving over it, nope we will make it through it all and it will be okay :) That is after a 17 year relationship not at the beginning, if we had not been compatible at the start I would have been out the door.
  • dillon_88
    dillon_88 Posts: 343 Member
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    kinkyslinky16 wrote: »
    Yes

  • never2bstopped
    never2bstopped Posts: 438 Member
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    mocadet95 wrote: »
    Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!

    You are young and I admire your values, but you have no places speaking on the importance of sex in a successful relationship, because to date you have not yet had one.....
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,470 Member
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    never2bstopped wrote: »
    mocadet95 wrote: »
    Absolutely not. I am 20 years old and still am a virgin and I have had quite a few long relationships. And sex was never involved I am still young, but I do not believe that sex ever has to be involved before marriage for it to be successful. Now when you are married I believe that it is a special way to show your love to one another and it could be a bond in the relationship. What I am getting to is sex can be important but it is not a crucial factor!

    You are young and I admire your values, but you have no places speaking on the importance of sex in a successful relationship, because to date you have not yet had one.....

    Damnnnnnnnnn..... agreed!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    It's important...I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be with my wife is she wasn't a good *kitten*. That said, being a good *kitten* doesn't mean the relationship is going to last either...most of the women I've dated have been good *kitten*...I'm obviously not with them anymore.

    Also, it's not the be all end all...I've been with my wife going on 10 years of marriage and 16 years altogether. We've had periods of "blah" due to things like stress...tired...pregnant...and frankly kids can put a damper on things in general. At this stage of the game, we're in it to win it regardless...but there's no way we would have even gotten married if the sex wasn't there and it wasn't good.

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