what should i do about this
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wolverine66 wrote: »prettigirl01 wrote: »clperrault89 wrote: »I feel where you are coming from. My children try to push their limits ALL THE TIME, it is what kids do. My son and oldest daughter (4 and 3 years old) are mouthy and slams doors. I am fast to correct that. Last thing I need is bratty teenagers haha. When kids feel comfortable around someone they do seem to try and test their limits. It doesn't make it right but it happens. As long as you are correcting her and letting her know she can't talk to you bf's mom like that or any authority figure that way I don't see the problem there. My OPINION: Have you ever tried sitting down and talking to your bf's mother and just apologizing for your things your daughter has maybe said that maybe she has been holding on to (try not to be confrontational and remember no one wants to think they are in the wrong). At the end of the conversation bring in your daughter to apologize herself and let her know that respect is a two way street (say it in front of the bf's mom as a subtle hint). Hopefully things will get better from there if not, I understand you will have to do whats best for your daughter. I really hope this helps!
thank you for suggestions and I tried this yesterday but she blew me off and said shes not worried about it. she does not want to hear anything I or my daughter has to say which is why I feel the way I feel about her. I respect her because she is my bf's mother but im not sure how much more I can take
is this something she told you, or something you infer? Because I know when someone apologizes to me, I might say something like "it's okay. I'm not worried about it." And in no way to i mean "i don't want to hear anything you say." I mean "it's okay."
also you say you respect her, because of the way you treat her to her face, but then you tell your daughter that she's just a mean lady. that doesn't show you respect her, but that you placate her.
i don't know. I'm not saying she's right, or you're right. I think there is more to this than is in this thread. it's possible the woman has just worn out her welcome and a little space may give everyone a fresh perspective.
what are the chances your bf will ask her to move?
he told her yesterday morning that she had to move. I know what you are saying and I was wrong for saying that to my daughter. I realize that in hindsight. I usually act out of anger and I shouldn't. I truly believe that space would solve the issue. before she lived with us, we had no problems. her welcome has truly been worn out
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How old is she? Will she not just die soon?0
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Wow, if some little rude child called me a devil, the LEAST of what I would have said would have been "I don't care what she says". Which I think is perfectly reasonable to be honest. I don't see that as being mean and nasty at all.
I don't like rude children (I don't know what "mouthy" means but it sounds like a mother's love phrase) and honestly, I find it difficult to be around them. If I wanted to visit my son and grandson and happened to be in a situation where I was around my son's girlfriends kids who were being disrespectful to me, and I wasn't able to tell them off because of the situation, I would be veryyyyyy unhappy.
She probably will leave but this is likely to cause a rift between her and her son which is unfortunate.
Also, your daughter is probably picking up on things you're saying. "Devil" sounds like a phrase borrowed from you. I'd advise you to watch what you say around her from now on.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »How old is she? Will she not just die soon?
shes 54 and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I just wish she would leave my presence soon
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Wow, if some little rude child called me a devil, the LEAST of what I would have said would have been "I don't care what she says". Which I think is perfectly reasonable to be honest. I don't see that as being mean and nasty at all.
I don't like rude children (I don't know what "mouthy" means but it sounds like a mother's love phrase) and honestly, I find it difficult to be around them. If I wanted to visit my son and grandson and happened to be in a situation where I was around my son's girlfriends kids who were being disrespectful to me, and I wasn't able to tell them off because of the situation, I would be veryyyyyy unhappy.
She probably will leave but this is likely to cause a rift between her and her son which is unfortunate.
Also, your daughter is probably picking up on things you're saying. "Devil" sounds like a phrase borrowed from you. I'd advise you to watch what you say around her from now on.
my daughter is far from rude and yes mouthy is a mothers love phrase because I love my daughter and ill do anything to protect her. my daughter did not say this to her face. it was said between the kids when they were playing. his son said something about me and my daughter said something about his grandmother. he went back and told his grandmother. if it causes a rift between her and her son then so be it. I never spoke bad of that woman around my daughter until the day I told her that she is a mean lady. that's all I ever said around my daughter. id advise his mother to watch what she says to my child from now on or she wont have to worry about waiting until summer to leave
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today my mother visited the house while I was at work. she was there. my mother spoke to her as she always does and she didn't say a word back to her. now its to the point where shes being rude to people who have nothing to do with this but because she doesn't like me or my daughter shes going to take it out on anyone who has anything to do with me and im not having that. so if my bf wants a relationship with me he can continue to have one or if he wants to play daddy daycare/free housing to his mother then he can do that as well. he just knows that I wont be around anymore.0
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I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.0
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
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prettigirl01 wrote: »today my mother visited the house while I was at work. she was there. my mother spoke to her as she always does and she didn't say a word back to her. now its to the point where shes being rude to people who have nothing to do with this but because she doesn't like me or my daughter shes going to take it out on anyone who has anything to do with me and im not having that. so if my bf wants a relationship with me he can continue to have one or if he wants to play daddy daycare/free housing to his mother then he can do that as well. he just knows that I wont be around anymore.
Gramma is out of control. I would just remove my daughter and myself from her reach so she cannot lash out at us.0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
If she and her BF broke up, would you take responsibility or care at all if it was because she heeded your advice or anybody else's on here?0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
If she and her BF broke up, would you take responsibility or care at all if it was because she heeded your advice or anybody else's on here?
People are on this site seeking support for everything from bad marriages to dating and everything in between. My gosh.
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_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
If she and her BF broke up, would you take responsibility or care at all if it was because she heeded your advice or anybody else's on here?
People are on this site seeking support for everything from bad marriages to dating and everything in between. My gosh.
In chit-chat, fun, and games? We disagree0 -
_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
If she and her BF broke up, would you take responsibility or care at all if it was because she heeded your advice or anybody else's on here?
People are on this site seeking support for everything from bad marriages to dating and everything in between. My gosh.
The LAST place I want advice from on my relationship or life goals is Chit Chat.0 -
_dracarys_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »_incogNEATo_ wrote: »I'd really try having this conversation with your BF instead of internet strangers. We all just want to see y'all break up, because we're not emotionally invested.
Sorry people are being rude to you...we ARE here as a support network and so thanks for trusting us and talking to us. Good Luck.
If she and her BF broke up, would you take responsibility or care at all if it was because she heeded your advice or anybody else's on here?
People are on this site seeking support for everything from bad marriages to dating and everything in between. My gosh.
The LAST place I want advice from on my relationship or life goals is Chit Chat.
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From what I have read from the OP's responses, she doesn't want to hear anything except her boyfriend's mother is wrong for what she did. She is protecting her "mouthy" child from a woman that she apparently has grown tired of having around.
Here's my take on the whole situation: the boyfriend needs to step up and be a man. That is his home and he should either protect those in his home (e.g his significant other and children in the home regardless of whether he's the biological father) or the girlfriend needs to go. If she doesn't see that he's not going to stand up for her now then he never will. This is especially true if they have been indeed in a relationship for the last 5 years. This man should have a VERY good relationship with her daughter and he should feel like she is as close to his own child as can be granted the child was very young when they got together.0 -
*shakes head*0
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OP> Don't take all this to heart.Try reading some of the other subject matters in the discussions and you will see you are right at home. Like I said...sorry0
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The best thing for you to do is get out while you have a chance, no type of violence,verbal,physical,or mental,should be brought into your precious child's life, bless her heart, give her a chance at life,around loving people.your beautiful,and the both of you don't need to put yourselves in this situation,that's your child,and you need to protect her. The good lord blessed you with a child,and he knows when your putting your child in a bad situation,he can easily take away your child. You in your heart,do the right thing and please,for the sake of your precious baby,just leave. And pray for peace. :-) love and understanding.0
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