We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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She just kept asking questions, it was so odd0
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We had a good thing going and then one day she just disappeared0
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My internet service lacked speed…0
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Something slow is good but not when you're like a turtle....I kept talking asleep waiting for him0
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She talks in her sleep.... Funny thing is that it's always about turtles0
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She claimed she could talk to animals0
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Because he didn’t wanna he my huckleberry.0
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Because she kept confusing me with the guy down the street0
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I could never fully understand nor accept the term “unconditional love”…0
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I tried to teach him what unconditional love is, but he freaked out once I got the duct tape out. 😒0
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They refused to do my math homework0
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She cheated on me with the teacher because I didn’t do her homework and she needed a passing grade.0
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Found out he was still in junior high. 😮0
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She had a love affair with a potato. I mean, what does it have that I don’t? Other than the crispy exterior, buttery soft interior and oh the smell when it’s fresh from the deep fryer…never mind, I fully get why we broke up now.0
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I ended all of my sentences with a preposition, of…0
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I stole his identity and pretended to be him, of…
He didn’t appreciate it, of…1 -
There was this time....well I thought I was ready to talk about it but I guess I'm not0
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I refused to update my iPhone in a timely fashion…0
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He said he was only buying breast milk from the neighbour “to achieve muscle gains”🙄0
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Wait? When were we together?0
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I grew tired of consistently losing staring contests…0
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He never removed his sunglasses, even at night. He claimed he was keeping track of visions in his eyes.0
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My dowry was only a goat, two ducks and a spatula0
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She said I lacked authenticity…0
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We had an argument over adding mayo before cooking a grilled cheese sandwich or after...0
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We had an argument over adding mayo at all on a grilled cheese sandwich0
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Although she agreed that I gave great massages, it annoyed her that I would scat-sing “Andy Bernard” style while doing so…0
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He'd change the subject whenever I mentioned mayonnaise.0
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I preferred to speak in emojis and she always responded in 3rd person…0
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