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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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Because she gave me Cat Scratch Fever0
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Because he scratched the err… wait. Never mind 😇0
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I gave her too many compliments about the delicate and unblemished skin on her wrists 🥵0
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She is a huge Grateful Dead fan and I could no longer put up with all the tie dye and smoke...what a long strange trip it's been0
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He's a Phish groupie 😬0
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Wanted an entourage of fish.0
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Had to have an entourage with us everywhere we went0
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She couldn't find any of my personalities that she liked.0
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He insisted on calling me his “Credit Card Baby”0
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The only thing we could ever agree on was to disagree…0
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When I told him he should leave his wife, he disagreed..0
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She was always too demanding0
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Idk why??.. I came home from work and he, our furniture and all our savings were gone 😔1
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She forgot we were moving and just never came to our new house....0
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The new house was a cardboard box in a sketchy alley.0
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She didn't like my creative living solutions and wanted me to live like everyone else..in a house.0
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She would put mayonnaise on her hot dogs0
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He put mustard on everything 🤢0
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She refused to dress up as a giant hot dog0
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You know what you did 😔😫0
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She didn’t have a hot dog.
I mean.. wouldn’t even dress up as one 😳0 -
She forced me to dress up as picnic food0
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He brought his own ants to all of our picnics0
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Got tired of the ants in her pants. She was always removing them everywhere we were.0
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She tried to duct tape pants on me. I nearly wet my pants!! 😳0
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She insisted on rubber sheets on the bed.0
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I don’t know why though…rubber sheets are hot 🥵 😆
He insisted on matching outfits every time we went out.
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She kept getting herself into sticky situations she could not get out of0
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She would put ranch dressing on everything....the final straw was when she added it to my hot fudge sundae0
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He hated cats0
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