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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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She didn't know the difference between having fun and being mean0
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Every time we went to the comedy lounge she’d heckle the comedians🤦♀️0
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She wouldn't let me pursue my career as a heckler1
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Because she was a doorknob (everybody gets a turn)0
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She did not appreciate my underwater basket weaving skills0
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I found out she drinks Bud Light...0
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He only messaged himself and kept me out of the loop0
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My introvertness annoyed her as well as my tendency to make up words…0
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He was too much a man of mystery. Wouldn't show me his face 🤷♀️0
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He kept disappearing0
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I was annoyed she couldn't get my pronouns right0
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I refused to conform to the grammatically correct pronunciations of any word that contained silent letters. No letters should be silent…0
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He barbecued Pork Chop, my guinea pig!😢0
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Her nickname for me was Pork Chop.0
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She hated that I called her Pork Chop…but that’s because she ate pork chops for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. 🤢0
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I did not meet her needs physically, emotionally, intellectually nor spiritually. And I often spoke in the 3rd person, too…0
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He was from a different planet and his parents did not approve of me. They said Galactica, his ex, was the one!✨👽💞💍👽✨0
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She saw life through HD vision but I was merely standard definition…0
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He'd always buy me electronics for Valentine's day.0
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She kept the fire roaring in the summer. Not my idea of “hot stuff”0
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Our contract was up and she was due for an upgrade…0
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He was always talking about the junk in my trunk even after I went to all the trouble of cleaning out my car 🤷♀️0
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I kept going missing 🫣0
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He had issues with my dissociative disorder.0
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She could no longer tolerate my misanthropic tendencies…0
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He had to insert a Bukowski quote into every conversation we had. He told me he didn't hate me, but felt better when I wasn't around and that was the last straw!0
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He took the last straw and I needed it for my water0
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She insisted on re-using paper straws0
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I can’t discuss it. I’m still traumatized. Let’s just say the way he liked to use a straw is not their intended purpose.1
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She tried to give me away to others so she could have her wife’s attention back 😒0
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