We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

kam26001

She kept getting letters in the mail from some guy named Merrill Lynch.

AliNouveau

He'd always say oh sweet child of mine

Strawberries0089

She loved her dogs more than me

betty_veronica4

She didn't like dogs

AliNouveau

Jughead

PDR85

She made me do everything upsidedown

AliNouveau

he always kept me in the dark

MrSith

She didn't like my kinda of darkness

AliNouveau

He wouldn't get matching tattoos

MrSith

oh oh oh .............yes I would........she wanted kanye tattoos though.

AliNouveau

this is what I wanted he said it was tacky

Smilin40

She *kitten* up my greatest illusion

FabulousFantasticFifty

He had illusions of my death!

betty_veronica4

She was far too fabulous for me. I felt like I could never keep up.

MzIrish

She couldn’t keep up

Egger29

She made me ride in the back of the truck with the dog

FabulousFantasticFifty

He came home smelling of kibble

Watching_The_Wheels

Of too many safe words to remember...

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didnt like the "Safety First" Tattoo I had on my ..........

AliNouveau

She found a wad of cash but wouldn't share it with me

finny11122

She drained my bank account

Watching_The_Wheels

I lacked the genitalia he preferred...

slimgirljo15

He had no genitalia at all.. perfectly smooth like a Ken doll

wryone4

The creepy doll collection in her room was, well, creepy.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Claimed to be Wonder Woman when everybody knows that I'm the REAL Wonder Woman!

AliNouveau

we argued about who was entitled to wear the wonder woman costume

FabulousFantasticFifty

I could no longer handle the "Short" jokes

AliNouveau

I ran out of short jokes

betty_veronica4

She was short with me all the time. I couldn't take the sniping anymore.

Unknown

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