(Why) are people really disappointed to hear they can eat anything they want and still lose weight?
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kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
I know when I realized that I could lose weight just by simply watching my calorie intake I was kind of disgusted and angry with myself for wasting so many years doing overly complicated things when this is so ridiculously easy. I didn't disbelieve it because it was working for me but there was definitely a feeling like I had been stupid and scammed. Then I was happy. Super happy.
Some people want fast, magic weight loss. They don't want to hear that it should take months or years to lose weight. They want to lose 50 lbs in a month and be strutting around in a bikini. Their friend/co-worker/family member lost weight quicker than that cutting everything out of their diet or doing crazy stuff so they must have to do that too.
You are probably the first person I've heard claim that losing weight is so ridiculously easy. Unfortunately the majority of people struggle.
I find it seriously easy. Sometimes an annoyance yes... but easy! Stupid easy. Soon as I figured out CICO and how to fit ice cream in (almost) every single day it became as easy as the over-eating had been. Felt stupid and ashamed of myself, but I have no qualms about feeling stupid and ashamed. Figure if I'm not learning, I'm dead XD
It's easy for me to say as I've not always been overweight... but hubby also finds it easy... and spent his whole life overweight. He's a healthy BMI for the first time since early childhood. He drinks a halo halo every night while I eat my ice cream, after a nice big dinner of a crap-ton of veggies and lean meats cooked in a little fat. Easy-peasy.0 -
I know for me, I wasn't sure it was going to work, but I figured I had nothing else to lose and CICO didn't require exercise, which with my asthma was hard to get going on. I started small, and after a couple of months, realized "Hey! I can do this and it works!" Plus, it was something I could do for the rest of my life without feeling like I was depriving myself of things I like. I still have off days, but I try to use those for special occasions and keep my normal days within my limit. And despite the plateau I'm on right now, losing 40 pounds proved to me that this works for me. I can still have treats and stuff I like, but learning moderation has helped me rethink food and what I need to do.
But I think for a lot of people that don't believe it, other posters are right in saying they may be angry at the realization that food isn't fully to blame. Realizing that we're mostly to blame for weight gain is a hard fact to accept for some people. Also, at least for Americans, we're so used to going into a restaurant and getting a huge portion that something that big has become the normal size portion. Cutting that in half can feel weird, like we're not able to eat what we want, even though what we've gotten used to is too much.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
I know when I realized that I could lose weight just by simply watching my calorie intake I was kind of disgusted and angry with myself for wasting so many years doing overly complicated things when this is so ridiculously easy. I didn't disbelieve it because it was working for me but there was definitely a feeling like I had been stupid and scammed. Then I was happy. Super happy.
Some people want fast, magic weight loss. They don't want to hear that it should take months or years to lose weight. They want to lose 50 lbs in a month and be strutting around in a bikini. Their friend/co-worker/family member lost weight quicker than that cutting everything out of their diet or doing crazy stuff so they must have to do that too.
Who wouldn't want fast magic weight loss? I know I would. But having to cut everything from my diet or do crazy stuff doesn't sound like magic. It sounds like misery.
For me too. But I think there are a couple of ideas behind the appeal of these.
First, the idea that you can do anything, however unpleasant, for a couple of weeks, and if that's what it takes to lose 20 lbs, it's worth it. That's why I found them appealing as a teen (although as I said before I was generally unmotivated about diet stuff and too lazy to actually deal with making my own dinners and so on, and plus probably knew my mother would question my choices and I was a people pleasing kind of young person--funny now). From reading on MFP and general cultural awareness, I think that's also why they are popular in general.
Second, magical thinking and specifically the idea that if I do this weird radical thing I'll stop WANTING anything else, stop caring about food. To a lesser degree something like this seems to happen to people for whom low carb works, but it's the promise of everything from paleo to "clean eating" to the latest "detox." It's why people go on about "kickstarting" or "rebooting," and it's I think part of why people want to believe so badly that the food they are eating is "addictive." They don't like it because they are human and it's tasty, they only think of food as anything but fuel or ever overeat because they are addicts and once they detox or kick the habit they will stop being tempted.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »For me, it was just so liberating and empowering to know that I could do it by myself.
Not to be a wet blanket, but until someone actually reaches goal weight and successful maintains the weight loss for 5-10 years, they're not really in a position to say that anything "works".
Wow.
Yup. Not surprised to see this coming from someone who recently told a poster that he was preemptive in posting about his success at 40lb weight loss over the last four months or so.
But that poster was paying homage to the gracious, humble and earnestly sincere help offered here by the mean people of MFP. So I'm sure he didn't mind.
Doesn't matter. Being a douchecanoe isn't excused just because the op is thanking the mean people.
Says the gal behind bars.
Which was not based on anything said to or about other regular users. Powers that be and all.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »I'm with you on the Scarsdale guy.
Me too! I even posted that in the Scarsdale diet thread. Jean Harris.0 -
spoonyspork wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
I know when I realized that I could lose weight just by simply watching my calorie intake I was kind of disgusted and angry with myself for wasting so many years doing overly complicated things when this is so ridiculously easy. I didn't disbelieve it because it was working for me but there was definitely a feeling like I had been stupid and scammed. Then I was happy. Super happy.
Some people want fast, magic weight loss. They don't want to hear that it should take months or years to lose weight. They want to lose 50 lbs in a month and be strutting around in a bikini. Their friend/co-worker/family member lost weight quicker than that cutting everything out of their diet or doing crazy stuff so they must have to do that too.
You are probably the first person I've heard claim that losing weight is so ridiculously easy. Unfortunately the majority of people struggle.
I find it seriously easy. Sometimes an annoyance yes... but easy! Stupid easy. Soon as I figured out CICO and how to fit ice cream in (almost) every single day it became as easy as the over-eating had been. Felt stupid and ashamed of myself, but I have no qualms about feeling stupid and ashamed. Figure if I'm not learning, I'm dead XD
It's easy for me to say as I've not always been overweight... but hubby also finds it easy... and spent his whole life overweight. He's a healthy BMI for the first time since early childhood. He drinks a halo halo every night while I eat my ice cream, after a nice big dinner of a crap-ton of veggies and lean meats cooked in a little fat. Easy-peasy.
That's pretty awesome but I think you're in the minority. For many of us it's a lot of suckage.
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Before mfp/internet, if you are as old as me and remember that, ci/co wasn't that easy. Figuring out the calories to what you were eating took a lot of time and effort when making/eating casseroles for the whole family....so it just seemed logical/practical that cutting out "bad" foods is what was necessary...which then setup the cravings and binging, etc....at least for me anyway. There weren't heart rate monitors back then, so it was easy to justify the 20 minute walk as enough calories to "earn" a box of macaroni and cheese.0
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spoonyspork wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
I know when I realized that I could lose weight just by simply watching my calorie intake I was kind of disgusted and angry with myself for wasting so many years doing overly complicated things when this is so ridiculously easy. I didn't disbelieve it because it was working for me but there was definitely a feeling like I had been stupid and scammed. Then I was happy. Super happy.
Some people want fast, magic weight loss. They don't want to hear that it should take months or years to lose weight. They want to lose 50 lbs in a month and be strutting around in a bikini. Their friend/co-worker/family member lost weight quicker than that cutting everything out of their diet or doing crazy stuff so they must have to do that too.
You are probably the first person I've heard claim that losing weight is so ridiculously easy. Unfortunately the majority of people struggle.
I find it seriously easy. Sometimes an annoyance yes... but easy! Stupid easy. Soon as I figured out CICO and how to fit ice cream in (almost) every single day it became as easy as the over-eating had been. Felt stupid and ashamed of myself, but I have no qualms about feeling stupid and ashamed. Figure if I'm not learning, I'm dead XD
It's easy for me to say as I've not always been overweight... but hubby also finds it easy... and spent his whole life overweight. He's a healthy BMI for the first time since early childhood. He drinks a halo halo every night while I eat my ice cream, after a nice big dinner of a crap-ton of veggies and lean meats cooked in a little fat. Easy-peasy.
That's pretty awesome but I think you're in the minority. For many of us it's a lot of suckage.
Yes, yes it is. Lots of suckage indeed.0 -
Bump this thread...soo much truth to it.0
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Personally, when I was first reading the threads that stated we can eat what we want as long as it fits into our calorie goals, I thought you guys were crazy. But I kept reading and researching and eventually realized and understood that you were right (jury is still out on crazy lmao).
I decided to test that theory while I was on vacation last month and my first reaction was panic. My next reaction was to go back to restricting certain foods because it was easier to control my calorie intake that way than having this chaotic thing going on of "anything I want". I lack self-control when it comes to food/alcohol, therefore it was always easier to believe that you HAVE to not have certain foods or beverages in order to lose weight. I now accept my prior thinking to be false but also understand that many of us have to have some kind of discipline in order to stay under our calorie goal. My discipline, instead of smaller portions of anything, is to restrict certain foods and I'm okay with that. Having said that, I don't feel guilty anymore when I sometimes decide "yes I would like to have *insert any food here*" and then I just make up for it later by choosing lower calorie foods.
So the people who get mad about it either don't want it to be true, just like to argue, or are too close-minded to further explore the idea and their core beliefs about food.0 -
Kimberly_Harper wrote: »Personally, when I was first reading the threads that stated we can eat what we want as long as it fits into our calorie goals, I thought you guys were crazy. But I kept reading and researching and eventually realized and understood that you were right (jury is still out on crazy lmao).
I decided to test that theory while I was on vacation last month and my first reaction was panic. My next reaction was to go back to restricting certain foods because it was easier to control my calorie intake that way than having this chaotic thing going on of "anything I want". I lack self-control when it comes to food/alcohol, therefore it was always easier to believe that you HAVE to not have certain foods or beverages in order to lose weight. I now accept my prior thinking to be false but also understand that many of us have to have some kind of discipline in order to stay under our calorie goal. My discipline, instead of smaller portions of anything, is to restrict certain foods and I'm okay with that. Having said that, I don't feel guilty anymore when I sometimes decide "yes I would like to have *insert any food here*" and then I just make up for it later by choosing lower calorie foods.
So the people who get mad about it either don't want it to be true, just like to argue, or are too close-minded to further explore the idea and their core beliefs about food.
Like a girl named Josie Mai says on Youtube; Moderation not deprivation0 -
Before mfp/internet, if you are as old as me and remember that, ci/co wasn't that easy. Figuring out the calories to what you were eating took a lot of time and effort when making/eating casseroles for the whole family....so it just seemed logical/practical that cutting out "bad" foods is what was necessary...which then setup the cravings and binging, etc....at least for me anyway. There weren't heart rate monitors back then, so it was easy to justify the 20 minute walk as enough calories to "earn" a box of macaroni and cheese.
Yeah, I think a lot of the "no counting calories!!!" as a diet sell counts on people still carrying baggage from those sad little newsprint "calorie counter" booklets at the cash register, and the ladies who'd pull them out of their purse with a little mini golf pencil to tot up each meal. (And women were also told to shoot for 1000 calories per day for weight loss! Dexatrim or Ayds diet candy was a must to complete the scene) That's the image that gave fuel to Weight Watchers and then loopier fad diets that promised..."No counting calories! No changes to your lifestyle! Just count food groups/points/carbs! Just avoid bread/fat/white food! Eat lots of grapefruit/cabbage/papaya!"
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Before mfp/internet, if you are as old as me and remember that, ci/co wasn't that easy. Figuring out the calories to what you were eating took a lot of time and effort when making/eating casseroles for the whole family....so it just seemed logical/practical that cutting out "bad" foods is what was necessary...which then setup the cravings and binging, etc....at least for me anyway. There weren't heart rate monitors back then, so it was easy to justify the 20 minute walk as enough calories to "earn" a box of macaroni and cheese.
And it really never clicked that you didn't really need to know the exact calorie counts? That simply eating a little less and moving a little more would work?0 -
Yes, people can eat anything they want and still lose weight. But not everyone who does eat anything they want will lose weight.
Caloric deficit [CI<CO] leads to weight-loss = science
Counting calories / restricting portions / eating high volume of low calorie choices / doing loads of cardio / eating pineapples (or pop tarts) only / not eating any pineapples (or pop tarts) ever = methods
The methods are what you do to make the science happen.
Do what works for you to create a caloric deficit.0 -
Kimberly_Harper wrote: »My discipline, instead of smaller portions of anything, is to restrict certain foods and I'm okay with that. Having said that, I don't feel guilty anymore when I sometimes decide "yes I would like to have *insert any food here*" and then I just make up for it later by choosing lower calorie foods.
I think this is a great way to respond to that information.
Even if a calorie deficit (or maintenance calories) are all that is needed, people need some method of enforcing that for themselves. I think for some cutting out certain foods works, whereas for others cutting out meal times (IF, for example, or even in a minor way, my own prohibition on unplanned snacks), and for still others being really strict about their own idea of proper portion size and/or eating "healthy" (this combination is how I lost without tracking in the past and mostly what I'm doing now, but with tracking as an additional aid), or for others simply tracking consistently and as a lifestyle (and as others have pointed out, this wasn't a realistic option to the same extent until recently, but is basically what WW is/was).
What's troubling to me about the "if I eat a cookie can I still lose?" questions is not only that they just show that there's not a factual understanding underlying the decision making but that I think the guilt that gets tied to it super often tends to be counterproductive or worse.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Before mfp/internet, if you are as old as me and remember that, ci/co wasn't that easy. Figuring out the calories to what you were eating took a lot of time and effort when making/eating casseroles for the whole family....so it just seemed logical/practical that cutting out "bad" foods is what was necessary...which then setup the cravings and binging, etc....at least for me anyway. There weren't heart rate monitors back then, so it was easy to justify the 20 minute walk as enough calories to "earn" a box of macaroni and cheese.
And it really never clicked that you didn't really need to know the exact calorie counts? That simply eating a little less and moving a little more would work?
Now I feel incredibly stupid, but no, it didn't click. I had advertising telling me otherwise, and having the money to advertise must mean that enough people have used the product and therefore it must be legit. I tried Nutrisystem when I was like 20, and ate tiny pre-packaged meals and was starving, so eating less food didn't seem like the answer to long-term success anyway.0 -
Triple that suckage if there is no confidence that the results all that hard work will slowly creep back on once we stop.0
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Before mfp/internet, if you are as old as me and remember that, ci/co wasn't that easy. Figuring out the calories to what you were eating took a lot of time and effort when making/eating casseroles for the whole family....so it just seemed logical/practical that cutting out "bad" foods is what was necessary...which then setup the cravings and binging, etc....at least for me anyway. There weren't heart rate monitors back then, so it was easy to justify the 20 minute walk as enough calories to "earn" a box of macaroni and cheese.
Yeah, I think a lot of the "no counting calories!!!" as a diet sell counts on people still carrying baggage from those sad little newsprint "calorie counter" booklets at the cash register, and the ladies who'd pull them out of their purse with a little mini golf pencil to tot up each meal. (And women were also told to shoot for 1000 calories per day for weight loss! Dexatrim or Ayds diet candy was a must to complete the scene) That's the image that gave fuel to Weight Watchers and then loopier fad diets that promised..."No counting calories! No changes to your lifestyle! Just count food groups/points/carbs! Just avoid bread/fat/white food! Eat lots of grapefruit/cabbage/papaya!"
OMG, that's a blast from the past: Ayds diet candy. I remember trying that once in college. Chocolate chews that you had with a glass of water. LOL Guess I'm showing my age.
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I don't find this to be "suckage" at all. Yes, it takes attention. And I'm not yet at my goal. But I choose to go out for a fancy tea every month; if life suddenly drops me at a fabulous restaurant, I order what I want and enjoy it all.
I couldn't do this if it sucked, or if I felt deprived. That was part of why all the others failed.
Much of my weight - early on and until about 15 years ago - was the result of poor nutrition and grossly inflated portions. Moderating portions can be challenging, especially with an "all you care to eat" option. Finding you're actually satisfied can take a while. And that's part of it too - so many of us are super-rushed through everything we do. Mindful eating requires enough time to slow down and enjoy the food you eat, and time to realize you are full.
Also, my experience certainly bears out that making high sugar, high fat choices does set up a cascading response craving even more of those foods, even when I'm full.
I still have those foods on occasion, but I recognize the craving response for what it is and ride herd on my instincts.
And I have learned to really enjoy certain foods. I *like* certain cooked vegetables. (Cooked broccoli, cooked cauliflower, raw snap peas, red bell peppers, apples, etc.)
Fresh fruit for dessert? That doesn't suck. Limiting myself to one ounce of cheese instead of four? A little harder, but I can do it. I don't multi-task while I'm eating. I enjoy social outings, and make the choices I want without feeling I will endure judgment from my friends (for all that I joke about being "that person" at a party who brought a veggie tray!).0
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