(Why) are people really disappointed to hear they can eat anything they want and still lose weight?
kommodevaran
Posts: 17,890 Member
I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
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Because it's hard to accept the fact that you have had control over your weight all along. And, also, that food isn't the problem - you are.
It's so much easier to blame food than accept responsibility and take the time to understand portion control. And, it's much easier to forgive yourself for your failings when you believe that fad diets, crash diets and highly restrictive diets are the only way to lose weight. Because, those diets are hard to do comfortably and most people fail at them.
It's also easier to blame food, then to get up and go to the gym every day.0 -
Because they don't want to believe that it isn't as difficult as they thought. No one wants to be blamed for being unfit! It's the food's fault!!kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
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Possibly because depending on how you interpret the phrase, it's not true. And it's not true for everyone regardless of interpretation.
I am constantly shocked that people actually thought they couldn't eat things like cake and lose weight.0 -
Because it's hard to accept the fact that you have had control over your weight all along. And, also, that food isn't the problem - you are.
It's so much easier to blame food than accept responsibility and take the time to understand portion control. And, it's much easier to forgive yourself for your failings when you believe that fad diets, crash diets and highly restrictive diets are the only way to lose weight. Because, those diets are hard to do comfortably and most people fail at them.
It's also easier to blame food, then to get up and go to the gym every day.
All of this! Accountability for ones self is hard!0 -
i also think people are looking for that magic food they can cut out and the weight will simply fall off. they hear every week that a new food is 'bad' for u. it's hard to except that all these new 'studies' aren't completely accurate0
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i was actually over the moon when i realised this! I thought losing weight was this complicated, unobtainable thing that i would never succeed at. now i understand it and am enjoying the process. I have always been a bit of a control freak though, so i quite like how its all in my hands.0
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kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why?
Because for many people this is harder than restricting food choices.
For others, its not.
Walk the path that works for you....0 -
It's not helpful a lot of the time. Eating whatever they want is what got them fat, something has to change. Some structure and guidelines at first are what some people need to get started since they don't know where to begin. Incorporating more foods can come later once they can maintain a deficit.
Or the opposite. Logging whatever they eat without restricting calories and over a period they can figure out what foods and quantities work for them and what doesn't. It's a process.0 -
Because people listen to media. Infomercials, ads in magazines, etc. They assume because of this information that dieting is a struggle and it's a thing you HAVE to do to get weight off. I lost 17lbs since December just by eating smaller amounts of the things I ate before and logging them to make sure I was in a calorie deficient. That's it. No hours in the gym, no diet food, etc. Just eating less.0
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kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
Why? Because people are constantly bombarded by marketing for the latest fad diet book/plan. Weight loss is a huge money making industry but there isn't much money to be made by saying "Eat less".0 -
Because it's hard to accept the fact that you have had control over your weight all along. And, also, that food isn't the problem - you are.
It's so much easier to blame food than accept responsibility and take the time to understand portion control. And, it's much easier to forgive yourself for your failings when you believe that fad diets, crash diets and highly restrictive diets are the only way to lose weight. Because, those diets are hard to do comfortably and most people fail at them.
It's also easier to blame food, then to get up and go to the gym every day.
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I personally think that using the word "diet", "lose" weight" all comes with stigmas as a one time only thing...
What we do here on MFP is teach, preach, discuss, debate, learn, ingest that this is a long term lifestyle change..
In the past when I went on a "diet" I looked for instructions, a how to manual to lose x pounds and never looked for what do I do after I lose x pounds...
Here I learned I can eat ALL the things I love and can still be "happy".
Limiting, restricting, etc.. may as well have put handcuffs on my back and pad locks on the cabinets.
I have control... the food does not control me. People refuse to accept that once their minds are right on the concept that they can have all they want.. just a wee bit less..0 -
I've known people who were in denial about how many calories they were eating. 'It's not fair I'm fat, I don't eat anything!". Accepting that it really comes down to calories would mean admitting that they really didn't live on a single slice of lettuce, that it might have been hitting McDonald's every night on the way home from work for a couple burgers, fries, shake and a couple apple pies. (In this instance, not referring to anyone else!)0
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I think others have nailed it , I just wanted to add that it is interesting to watch the process unfold from the newbs and recall how I felt and delt with the concept when I first started reading the replies of " you can eat everything " but but but ...... It takes some time to sink in.
In the end though, even though I can and ocassionaly do eat everything I certainly choose my food with purpose now.0 -
Because it's hard to accept the fact that you have had control over your weight all along. And, also, that food isn't the problem - you are.
It's so much easier to blame food than accept responsibility and take the time to understand portion control. And, it's much easier to forgive yourself for your failings when you believe that fad diets, crash diets and highly restrictive diets are the only way to lose weight. Because, those diets are hard to do comfortably and most people fail at them.
It's also easier to blame food, then to get up and go to the gym every day.
This.
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I think others have nailed it , I just wanted to add that it is interesting to watch the process unfold from the newbs and recall how I felt and delt with the concept when I first started reading the replies of " you can eat everything " but but but ...... It takes some time to sink in.
In the end though, even though I can and ocassionaly do eat everything I certainly choose my food with purpose now.
Love the bolded! I will choose my food with purpose!0 -
The alternative to scapegoating is to believe that normal people eating a normal diet with a normal lifestyle will have problems with their size. To believe that alternative is to cave to the reality that to get what they want, they will need to deal with the numbers and that they will be permanently doing something different from those around them.0
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Because it is so simple. Not EASY, but simple. You have to do the work and barring any medical issues that prevent achieving your goals, it's on the individual whether you succeed or don't. Most people I know of hate the fact that it is so do-able. Don't do it, can't put it on anyone but yourself. Personal accountability - lack of it everywhere these days.0
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kristen6350 wrote: »Because people listen to media. Infomercials, ads in magazines, etc. They assume because of this information that dieting is a struggle and it's a thing you HAVE to do to get weight off.
This, I think, is the truth. And being older, it's something I never realized until I joined MFP. When I grew up, I didn't know anyone that didn't know weight loss was all about eating less calories than you burn. Adults, teens, children, it was just common sense. And maybe that's why the general public was thinner then.
It's truly been an eye opener for me how many people today don't know this. What the heck happened?0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »I see this many times each day on the forums. Question: "What can I eat that will make me lose fat?" (Almost) collective answer: "You can eat anything you like as long as you are in a calorie deficit." Reaction is in 99.99% of cases, disbelief, mistrust, frustration, even anger. Why? I was over myself from joy when I realised that I could still eat candy at birthdays and that low fat diet foods weren't necessary to lose and maintain weight.
I think you are making that stat up. Your whole premise seems like a straw man argument.
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I don't get it, either. People just don't want to believe that it doesn't have to be hard or miserable!0
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I_Will_End_You wrote: »I don't get it, either. People just don't want to believe that it doesn't have to be hard or miserable!
Being able to incorporate any food into your diet, doesn't necessarily mean the diet won't be hard. It's not as if you can eat everything you want and lose weight.0 -
I think part of it is - if they realize it's that easy- then they really truly have no excuse- so either "I haven't found the magic bullet" or the "other option is just to hard."'
It just CAN"T be that easy- if it was that easy- they would have done it already- it's a way to continue to do nothing and not have to take responsibility. And don't forget the power of the fear of failure.
I know those two things- really held me back- misconceptions about calorie counting- and the idea that I just didn't have the willpower to stick with it. Turns out- I was wrong on both accounts
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Leave us Dutchies aloneasflatasapancake wrote: »I blame McDonald's. And the Dutch.
Totally kidding, by the way. Agree with PRMinx. It has to be more complicated and someone else's fault rather than their own.
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Because eating "whatever you want" to them might mean eating 12 pizza slices and tons of mac and cheese regularly. Sure you can have pizza and mac and cheese just not that much.
And to the poster above about it being "that easy" it really is NOT easy at all. It's simple CICO sure, but it is not easy to lose weight by any stretch of the imagination.0 -
Thank you, everybody. I admit that I made that number up, jddmw
beemerphile1: Shouldn't people be happy when they are told that dieting doesn't have to cost anything?
For me, it was just so liberating and empowering to know that I could do it by myself. I used to think that I would need a nutritionist, a cook, a PT, a coach, lots of money, and handcuffs. Now I decide what I want to eat every day, buy and cook my own food, walk, and most importantly, walk past the chips and candy racks in the store
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blankiefinder wrote: »I've known people who were in denial about how many calories they were eating. 'It's not fair I'm fat, I don't eat anything!". Accepting that it really comes down to calories would mean admitting that they really didn't live on a single slice of lettuce, that it might have been hitting McDonald's every night on the way home from work for a couple burgers, fries, shake and a couple apple pies. (In this instance, not referring to anyone else!)
I think this is a big part of it. For a lot of people, especially women, there's a real stigma, at least in their own minds, to overeating. It's much easier and (they think) more socially acceptable to claim that they ate very little but still got fat, and if that's so it has to be the fault of the food--bad food choices must make you fat, since it can't be excess calories. (They may even really believe this--I finally broke down and watched that Secret Eaters show, and the episode I saw certainly fit into this pattern, but so have MANY conversations I've had with women who struggle with their weight.)
Even for those women (and men, I'm sure) who admit that they overeat, many will still feel like they need to find an excuse for it, because acknowledging that they are (in their own minds, again) being gluttonous is uncomfortable or unacceptable. So we get to the "oh, for ME, if I eat whatever I CANNOT stop." This also, as was pointed out above, provides a built in "it's too hard" excuse, since most people eat, say, bread and pasta, so if you are someone who supposedly can't lose weight without giving those things up, then you would have to do something too extreme to really be expected of you, at least not now.
And, of course, because humans are crazy complicated creatures, these messed up ideas tend to often cause cycles of emotional attachment plus guilt and shame connected with eating choices that actually probably result in the creation of many of the psychological issues with food that people have that DO make it hard for them to eat whatever and still lose weight.
Finally, it's not strictly true that people can just eat what they've been eating (in smaller quantities) and lose weight. Some can, some will naturally and practically get how they have to adjust their diet to make it work with fewer calories (this was me, I think), but some don't have any kind of set eating schedule or plan and think they just eat when they are hungry or what's available without choice and are overwhelmed by the whole thing. For some of them eating less means being very stressed and hungry, whereas getting excited about some new thing (eating healthy, IMO, being a better way to frame it than "dumping the BAD foods like all the WHITE ones" or "eating clean, which I define to mean excluding fatty meats, no matter where from, and home baked bread, but processed cold cuts are fine since they aren't really processed according to my personal non-coherent definition" but then that's just my pet peeve).0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »kristen6350 wrote: »Because people listen to media. Infomercials, ads in magazines, etc. They assume because of this information that dieting is a struggle and it's a thing you HAVE to do to get weight off.
This, I think, is the truth. And being older, it's something I never realized until I joined MFP. When I grew up, I didn't know anyone that didn't know weight loss was all about eating less calories than you burn. Adults, teens, children, it was just common sense. And maybe that's why the general public was thinner then.
It's truly been an eye opener for me how many people today don't know this. What the heck happened?
I think there's always been a lot of people who didn't know it.
I'm probably about your age, and when I was a kid there were all sorts of fad diets in magazines and stuff like the Scarsdale diet and the Beverly Hills diet (my mother bought the book and lots of diet books, although the only diets I recall her doing were "eating less" based and not faddy). There was also the no fat craze.
It is true that everyone I knew then knew that it was about eating less and moving more, but so does everyone I interact with (so far as I can tell) now--quite commonly who one knows isn't a good representative of the US public. It's rather like the "no one I know voted for Nixon" thing. I mean, I was shocked to learn that lots of people think "lose" is spelled "loose," too.
I think the reason people are fatter now has more to do with cultural changes, access to food, and a lack of reason for or access to activity as opposed to the existence of fad diets or silly ideas about specific foods or macronutrients being special fat pills. It's just that a place like MFP does an excellent job at revealing just how common those ideas are.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »For me, it was just so liberating and empowering to know that I could do it by myself.
Not to be a wet blanket, but until someone actually reaches goal weight and successful maintains the weight loss for 5-10 years, they're not really in a position to say that anything in particular "works".0
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