The joys of office broscience - misguided food/nutrition advice
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shrinkingletters wrote: »perseverance14 wrote: »
It matters if you are an earth, fire or water sign and what elements you are low in.lemurcat12 wrote: »Oh, how had I never looked into the blood type diet. It's like the next best thing to a zodiac diet (up for this, btw).
[quotes]
So hilarious.
I'm a Virgo - it would be like, "Is your steak perfectly medium-rare? If not, throw it away and try again. Repeat until all food is perfect, only then may you eat".
I'm a sagittarius so I only eat what I hunt and kill with my own teeth and also I can only drink wine.
Aha! I'm so using this next time someone side-eyes me for opening a nice Valpolicella at 8a.m.0 -
Kimberly_Harper wrote: »Pisces diet: Fish, water, and magic.
Does that mean as a Scorpio, I can only eat scorpions? Damn.
I don't have a job but I'm at uni. My uni friend (who is very overweight) insisted that if you eat under 2000 calories your body will go into 'starvation mode' and you won't lose weight. When I tried to correct her and tell her that actually as someone only around 5'1 who doesn't exercise, 2000 calories isn't right for her, another friend chimed in with 'it's different for everyone! My sister is very short and doesn't eat much but she's big, so I keep telling her to eat more and she'll lose weight!' This friend is also very overweight. When I cited studies that have been done to disclaim starvation mode, they said 'but there are just as many studies stating that it's real!' Uh. No. There really aren't. I'd be worried if I were doing a biology degree but thankfully it's only creative writing 0 -
MarziPanda95 wrote: »Kimberly_Harper wrote: »Pisces diet: Fish, water, and magic.
Does that mean as a Scorpio, I can only eat scorpions? Damn.
I don't have a job but I'm at uni. My uni friend (who is very overweight) insisted that if you eat under 2000 calories your body will go into 'starvation mode' and you won't lose weight. When I tried to correct her and tell her that actually as someone only around 5'1 who doesn't exercise, 2000 calories isn't right for her, another friend chimed in with 'it's different for everyone! My sister is very short and doesn't eat much but she's big, so I keep telling her to eat more and she'll lose weight!' This friend is also very overweight. When I cited studies that have been done to disclaim starvation mode, they said 'but there are just as many studies stating that it's real!' Uh. No. There really aren't. I'd be worried if I were doing a biology degree but thankfully it's only creative writing
No, as a scorpio that means you only eat on blood moons, you spend the time between them harvesting.0 -
Oh jeeze, what's plexus? Another shady-azz ripoff MLM? IDK, we have people here at this place who always claim to be on some diet or other but weigh at least twice what would be healthy, and I mean literally. There's always someone really large debating the fine points of a celebrity diet with another really large person in the break room... I don't say anything. ever. I just drink my coffee and keep my snark inside my head.
Looked it up for the lulz. It seems like the complete Dr. Oz diet.
From their website:
Ingredients:
Chromium
Proprietary blend of Green coffee bean extract (contains chlorogenic acid and less than 2% natural caffeine), Garcinia cambogia fruit extract, alpha lipoic acid
Other Ingredients: Polydextrose, citric acid, natural flavors, beet extract (for color), stevia leaf (Stevia rebaudiana) extract, luo han-guo fruit extract, guar gum, silicon dioxide.
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I've been looking up various zodiac diets because of this thread and I think this is my favorite.
http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/diet/astro-diet.htm0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »I've been looking up various zodiac diets because of this thread and I think this is my favorite.
http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/diet/astro-diet.htm
ROFL it's blocked at work for "cult and occult" reasons. Woo!0 -
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Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write off as a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.0 -
I object to the character assassination of Adipose.
I have one on fb who sells one of those herbalife type things. She's courteous enough that she keeps 99% of her sales pitches to a business page, but once a month she'll post before and after pics of her clients to her personal page. I can never tell which is the before and which is the after.
My cousin does this, minus the courtesy about confining it mostly to a business page. I changed it last week so I can't see her posts. I just couldn't take the stupid anymore.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write it off a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.
And me being a bad Libra not wearing accessories I can not eat today. Darn!
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ForeverSunshine09 wrote: »shrinkingletters wrote: »Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write it off a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.
And me being a bad Libra not wearing accessories I can not eat today. Darn!
That won't do. You'll have to settle for food that compliments your eyes.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write off as a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.
But I'm self-employed. This can't end well.0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write off as a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.
But I'm self-employed. This can't end well.
Oh so you're not serious about weight loss then?0 -
shrinkingletters wrote: »Here, I made an astrology dietary restrictions for y'all:
Aries: Can only eat food they've won in a street fight.
Taurus: Can only eat animal proteins from animals that do not exceed 35mph at full speed.
Gemini: Can only eat food scavenged from self-help group craft tables.
Cancer: Can only eat food from neglected cans and boxes in the back of the very top shelf in the kitchen.
Leo: Can only eat foods that can be arranged into a self-portrait.
Virgo: Can only eat foods that can slide easily through the chute under the door.
Libra: Can only eat foods that compliment their accessories.
Scorpio: Can only eat foods that can hold their own in a staring match.
Sagittarius: Can only eat foods from countries they cannot pronounce.
Capricorn: Can only eat foods that their employer agrees to write off as a tax deduction.
Aquarius: Can only eat foods that make it through their teleportation device without fusing to a nasty housefly.
Pisces: Can only eat foods that remind them of that time their mother forgot to pick them up from soccer practice.
But I'm self-employed. This can't end well.
Oh so you're not serious about weight loss then?
I'm more concerned about the potential audit0 -
I have Celiac disease. One of my coworkers told me I just haven't been "exposed enough to gluten and wheat" so I should just "eat as much as I can so my body can get used to it."
I didn't even know how to respond so I literally just stared at her and walked away...
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A colleague who (is? thinks h/she is?[keeping this generic]) allergic to a bunch of stuff, chocolate (caffeine!), soy, dairy, gluten, you name it. And this person has symptoms of some unknown problems that just can't be diagnosed. Multiple efforts/doctor visits. Gosh, no one has explanation.
All of a sudden, said person goes on a "cleanse" along with starting to use certain essential oils that are being sold through a pyramid program and rhyme with So Thera. All of a sudden, nearly every problem disappears, and proceeds to push these oils. Miracles! Oils solve some of these problems!
Now said person is going very low carb---and apparently doesn't even want to eat lettuce because....too many carbs. And the oils continue to work miracles.
Mmmrrrphhh....I have an invitation now to an essential oils "training" for pets, since I did not attend the original "training." How oils help pets.
Really?
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CarlydogsMom wrote: »A colleague who (is? thinks h/she is?[keeping this generic]) allergic to a bunch of stuff, chocolate (caffeine!), soy, dairy, gluten, you name it. And this person has symptoms of some unknown problems that just can't be diagnosed. Multiple efforts/doctor visits. Gosh, no one has explanation.
All of a sudden, said person goes on a "cleanse" along with starting to use certain essential oils that are being sold through a pyramid program and rhyme with So Thera. All of a sudden, nearly every problem disappears, and proceeds to push these oils. Miracles! Oils solve some of these problems!
Now said person is going very low carb---and apparently doesn't even want to eat lettuce because....too many carbs. And the oils continue to work miracles.
Mmmrrrphhh....I have an invitation now to an essential oils "training" for pets, since I did not attend the original "training." How oils help pets.
Really?
Are you sure that person isn't posting here?
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Dude, whatever happened to the good old cabbage soup diet? Anyone else remember that gem?What You Can Eat
Just like the name says, the bulk of this diet is fat-free cabbage soup, eaten two to three times a day with other allowed foods assigned each day. Here's what you can add:
Day 1: Fruit, except bananas
Day 2: Vegetables like leafy greens (not starchy), but no fruit
Day 3: Fruits and vegetables
Day 4: Bananas and skim milk
Day 5: Beef (or baked chicken without the skin) and tomatoes
Day 6: Beef and vegetables
Day 7: Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices, and vegetables
There are different recipes for the soup, which is recommended every day of the diet. They all have similar ingredients, such as tomatoes, green peppers, mushrooms, onions, and bouillon.
Though, I think when I was dumb enough to do the cabbage soup diet years ago it didn't include brown rice or beef.. HMMMM... Though, that was 20 years ago plus I'm sure the VLCD affected my memory of the exact events..0 -
My cube neighbor mentioned eliminating all carbs from her diet. I tried explaining that it's an important macronutrient and that carbs are not the devil. I cannot be too harsh on her though; I subscribed to the same philosophy as her at one point in my life.0
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allaboutthecake wrote: »Seriously this thread should be in the Fun & Games cuz its SO HILARIOUS! What planet are these people from lol.
And yea....I had a friend who was eating picky stuff for "blood type" and the diet failed her. She was a little more than shocked to see I weighed less than her eating... well...just eating!
I am so IN for astrology dieting why hasn't Dr. Oz come up with this yet?
Well since it doesn't involve flirting with, sleeping with, dating, or any other questionable activity with "the person above you" - it wouldn't get much interest in Fun & Games.
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