Mother shamed for sending her child to school with oreos
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I think most peopleTNAJackson wrote: »This type of thing (without the note home) has happened to my kids at school. Even Lunchables have a small chocolate or something inside of them, which the kids are told they can not eat. It very much so bothers me because I agree that everything is ok in moderation. Especially for small children who tend to be very active. If anything, this policy teaches children to sneak and to hide... because if they are told they can not have something they really want, they most likely are going to eat it anyway... behind the teacher/lunchperson/principals' back.
Of course, having a lunch consisting of ONLY junk food would be wrong in my opinion, but this situation, that was not the case.
If you think it would encourage bad habits, why send the food in the first place? If you know the rules, why send the Lunchable with candy/cookies at all? They do make some that don't have those things, or you could take the treat out and save it for later. If they let one kid have a piece of candy, they would have to let all kids have one, and then someone will get butthurt that their little precious didn't get to eat hits king sized snickers because a little junk it's okay but not a lot.
When we disagree with rules and laws, we have three choices:
Follow them anyway.
Disregard them and accept the consequences.
Fight to change them.
Throwing a fit about your punishment (this is not directed at you) is not fighting to change the rules.
Some would argue that increased awareness is an incredibly useful part of the "fight to change them" approach.0 -
I raised three children and and moderation is the key. but everyone is different children included. its wrong to demonize any food. healthy or not it causes unhealthy relationships with food and unhealthy body issues. generally speaking Children expend so much more energy than adults but in school they are being held to the same nutrional standard as adults. I think there is too much control in the school now a days.0
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My daily lunch through most of grade school was a butter and jelly sandwich on white bread (because I hated peanut butter) with chips. In high school, sodas were available from vending machines so I had several every day.
But most importantly, double stuff oreos or GTFO.0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »entropypsycho wrote: »@3bambi3 It's the ingredients. Check 'em out sometime. You'd be surprised what is in it that are chemicals, additives, dyes, whatever. I'm talking about the things your body can't use or doesn't easily break down. To clarify, just because you can eat it, does not make it food. I hope this cleared up what I meant by that. There is a book you can check out that can explain this in depth! "If It's Not Food...Don't Eat It!" Check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/its-Food-Dont-Eating-Health/dp/097656680X
Okay, now I'm in.
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As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
you're joking right?0 -
fallenoaks4 wrote: »Well I'm going to be judgy here and agree that it wasn't a healthy lunch, especially for a toddler. Not instilling good nutrition habits (and mom is obviously overweight) and dealing with toddlers after sugar rush ....not fun. But is it for the school to scold the parent...no.
Other than the oreos what part of the lunch was unhealthy?
Even the Oreos aren't unhealthy if the rest of the child's diet fulfills her nutritional needs.
I haven't read the whole thread, but if this were my toddler, she would fill up on the Oreos first. Since she doesn't eat much at one sitting, it's possible that she wouldn't touch the sandwich or cheese. So no, her nutritional needs would not be met if all three things were put in front of her.
not true- kids tend to self regulate better than adults do based on their own needs if left to their own devices.0 -
"required to have a fruit, a vegetable, and a healthy snack from home, along with milk."
Parent fail.
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As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
you're joking right?
Sadly, I don't think so. When did it become so hard for some parent's to tell their children 'no'?0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »entropypsycho wrote: »@3bambi3 It's the ingredients. Check 'em out sometime. You'd be surprised what is in it that are chemicals, additives, dyes, whatever. I'm talking about the things your body can't use or doesn't easily break down. To clarify, just because you can eat it, does not make it food. I hope this cleared up what I meant by that. There is a book you can check out that can explain this in depth! "If It's Not Food...Don't Eat It!" Check it out!
http://www.amazon.com/its-Food-Dont-Eating-Health/dp/097656680X
Okay, now I'm in.
There's always one it seems...lol.
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lisafrancis888 wrote: »Whilst no one should shame a parent we should as a society start to see the growing problem of children's health.
For me an Oreo or cake or chocolate bar should be a treat for a child not an everyday normal part of lunch.
If all schools agreed to the same there should be no issues. Children will do what the grown ups tell them to. If the teacher says no sweet things and all the parents abide by it children will eat the sandwich or whatever they are given.
I actually wish only water was drunk at school not fruit juices.
We have to get tougher for the sake of our children.
As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
That can't be real.0 -
entropypsycho wrote: »lisafrancis888 wrote: »Whilst no one should shame a parent we should as a society start to see the growing problem of children's health.
For me an Oreo or cake or chocolate bar should be a treat for a child not an everyday normal part of lunch.
If all schools agreed to the same there should be no issues. Children will do what the grown ups tell them to. If the teacher says no sweet things and all the parents abide by it children will eat the sandwich or whatever they are given.
I actually wish only water was drunk at school not fruit juices.
We have to get tougher for the sake of our children.
As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
Seriously good points. They should be treats, not every day part of a meal
Care to elaborate why a couple oreos can't be part of lunch?0 -
I think most peopleTNAJackson wrote: »This type of thing (without the note home) has happened to my kids at school. Even Lunchables have a small chocolate or something inside of them, which the kids are told they can not eat. It very much so bothers me because I agree that everything is ok in moderation. Especially for small children who tend to be very active. If anything, this policy teaches children to sneak and to hide... because if they are told they can not have something they really want, they most likely are going to eat it anyway... behind the teacher/lunchperson/principals' back.
Of course, having a lunch consisting of ONLY junk food would be wrong in my opinion, but this situation, that was not the case.
If you think it would encourage bad habits, why send the food in the first place? If you know the rules, why send the Lunchable with candy/cookies at all? They do make some that don't have those things, or you could take the treat out and save it for later. If they let one kid have a piece of candy, they would have to let all kids have one, and then someone will get butthurt that their little precious didn't get to eat hits king sized snickers because a little junk it's okay but not a lot.
When we disagree with rules and laws, we have three choices:
Follow them anyway.
Disregard them and accept the consequences.
Fight to change them.
Throwing a fit about your punishment (this is not directed at you) is not fighting to change the rules.
+1
And teaching your child that it's okay to throw a fit when you don't like something is quite ironic, no? Reminds me of how my 5-year old acts when he doesn't get his way.0 -
As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
you're joking right?
The first part I apologised it wasn't quite what I meant. I meant more if we run out of one thing I wish we wouldn't substitute with biscuits etc.
the second part I totally meant but I realise we all have differing opinions.
Again not blaming parents actually want schools to take more of a stance. Again we may differ with this.
I will leave it there I truly didn't want to upset anyone and my opinion is no more valid than anybody else's.
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lisafrancis888 wrote: »skippygirlsmom wrote: »lisafrancis888 wrote: »Whilst no one should shame a parent we should as a society start to see the growing problem of children's health.
For me an Oreo or cake or chocolate bar should be a treat for a child not an everyday normal part of lunch.
If all schools agreed to the same there should be no issues. Children will do what the grown ups tell them to. If the teacher says no sweet things and all the parents abide by it children will eat the sandwich or whatever they are given.
I actually wish only water was drunk at school not fruit juices.
We have to get tougher for the sake of our children.
As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
My 14 year old takes a sandwich, fruit and/or cheese with water every day for lunch. She also takes a couple (2) cookies if she wants sometimes she does sometimes she does not. If that makes your job as a parent harder then you have more problems. My daughter's friends wear $100 jeans and $100 shoes, mine does not. I don't allow those parenting choices to make mine harder or affect our household. We simply do not spent that type of money on jeans or shoes. Mine will also not drive a Lexus or brand new car when she turns 16, others parents give those types of cars to their kids, again mine knows she will get a good affordable used car to drive until she can buy herself the car of her dreams. Why do you allow what goes on in my house to influence your kids so much. Also when you live in my single parent household working full time and raising my kids you get to tell me what I should and should not run out of...how's the view from your perfect parent pedestal? BTW her friends are all "dating" and she is not, don't care what goes on in the neighbors house has no affect on what goes on in ours.
Totally agree with you that what goes on in a neighbours house is totally their own business and not ours. That's sort of my point. The children aren't at home they are at school in a community group. The more lenient the school is the more some parents push those limits. I'm from the UK and some parents literally pile junk into their kids lunches. It truly makes it difficult for other parents to try and make up a reasonable meal. That's why a lot of schools over here are starting to have stricter rules. Some are banning the sweet things as well as fruit juices.
I apologise for my comment about not running out of things we've all done it. What I really meant was when a parent does run out I wish the child would just go with the sandwich and not have a bag of crisps or Oreo thrown in to compensate on the lack of fruit or yoghurt etc .a child won't starve having one smaller meal. I truly think it's the schools that have to set the rules and then we can abide by them. One of my friends is a primary age teacher and says some of her kids are absolutely crazy in the afternoon. She believes this is due to their lunch as her school does not have any policies regarding lunch. This obviously has an impact on the whole class being taught.
I'm very far from a perfect parent but do wish the schools would start with at least stronger guidelines. We can then give our kids the treats etc when they get home.
Luckily we don't have the school clothes issue as all our schools wear uniform. It saves loads of money.
Thank you for the apology.
If our school had a no sweets policy I would follow it, however, they do not. I will say they were stricter on what came into the school before she came to high school. No homemade treats, no "sugary" things for birthdays things of that nature. I guess they figure by the time they get to high school they can figure it out on their own.
Though she brings her lunch every day she does have money in her lunch account for those days when she doesn't like what is home to bring or they are actually serving something she likes. She takes leftovers from dinner, they have a microwave so she can reheat food.
We don't wear uniforms and I'm glad about that, I'm glad the kids can make their own decisions on what to wear and what is proper. We do have a dress code, sometimes strictly enforced sometimes not, again it's become more lenient as the kids get into high school. My girl is very modest so I never worry about what she chooses to wear. After buying some clothes with her own money she's realized that for $100 she can 5 things in Walmart/Target/Kohls instead of 1 thing in the teenie bopper stores. She likes have more clothes than "designer" clothes.
I still don't agree with you that even in a community setting what I put in her lunchbox should affect your home, so we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. Though she does tell me all the time that everyone wants to eat her lunch because she brings in good stuff, so maybe she's the one that influences in a good way. She does have a friend who never seems to have lunch whether it be food or money for lunch, so she shares with her a lot.0 -
I suspect on here we would all be sensible with moderation of what went to school otherwise we wouldn't be on this site. Thanks for chatting back I appreciate it.
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As a parent we should not run out of a piece of fruit or a carrot.
The parents who put Oreos etc into their children's lunch packs are making it hard for every other parent to try and make healthy lunches as children will always complain they haven't got it. That's why I wish schools would ban sugary foods completely.
you're joking right?
Thank you!!! I was beginning to wonder if I should just pack a trunk and let the schools raise my children too!
I can't speak for any other parent. That's okay. It's not my job. My job to to do the best for my own family. That includes their nutritional needs including school lunches. Two Oreo cookies in the box that includes water, a sandwich, and fruit is pretty good. My kids are very healthy and active. A school that decides they know best is not a school they'd attend much longer after a stupid sanctimonious letter comes home!0 -
considering how generally poor our sense of nutrition is in this country i can understand redflagging cookies and the other things listed... peanutbutter by most people's definition means peter pan jiff or skippy which is full of terrible additives and tastes nothing like the real thing.... sounds like generally the policy is to steer parents away from sugary and salty foods... both of which are problematic.0
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Instead of debating the health merits of Oreos, why not address the fact that this woman chose not to follow the rules and now she's a media sl sensation. I'm sorry, she and her daughter are not special and don't get to do whatever they want. My first thought when I saw the article on Facebook this morning? My DD would be sent home to change if she wore a tank top like that little girl. Would that be body shaming? No, that would be expecting her to follow the school's dress code. No different.
This. My son's school has some dress code and food rules I don't agree with. That doesn't make him a special snowflake who can dye his hair green, wear a tank top and eat Twinkies for lunch.0 -
I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
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considering how generally poor our sense of nutrition is in this country i can understand redflagging cookies and the other things listed... peanutbutter by most people's definition means peter pan jiff or skippy which is full of terrible additives and tastes nothing like the real thing.... sounds like generally the policy is to steer parents away from sugary and salty foods... both of which are problematic.
As with any other food, it's only problematic when eaten in excess. A few cookies hardly qualifies.0 -
I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
The article I read sounded like it was policy to not allow the cookies, but not policy to address it like the teacher did. It's the end of April. I find it hard to believe that it wasn't a known policy that the mother followed for the first 8 months of school. If it wasn't a stated policy, it's likely this situation would have occurred before now. Mom also wouldn't have made the excuse that she was out of fruit if that was the case, she would have sent the Oreos without apology.0 -
I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
The article I read sounded like it was policy to not allow the cookies, but not policy to address it like the teacher did. It's the end of April. I find it hard to believe that it wasn't a known policy that the mother followed for the first 8 months of school. If it wasn't a stated policy, it's likely this situation would have occurred before now. Mom also wouldn't have made the excuse that she was out of fruit if that was the case, she would have sent the Oreos without apology.
Ahh, okay. This article makes it sound very much like it wasn't a policy in any way, shape or form.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/28/school-lunch-returned-not-nutritious/26498493/
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I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
One article says the school doesn't tell parents what to feed their kids, but this child is there through a state run program bound by federal regulations. The school could say kids could eat horse for lunch, wouldn't change the rules for the ones who are there as overflow from the public program.0 -
Yea, I'll take the director's word on it. She says the teacher is in the wrong...I'll go with that.0
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jofjltncb6 wrote: »My daily lunch through most of grade school was a butter and jelly sandwich on white bread (because I hated peanut butter) with chips. In high school, sodas were available from vending machines so I had several every day.
But most importantly, double stuff oreos or GTFO.
I used to hate peanut butter with jelly. And my mother refused to send me with just a peanut butter sandwich because she said it was too dry. So my lunch was cream cheese and jelly or just a cheese sandwich with chips, fruit and cookies.
High school? I made my own money baby sitting and later had jobs bought lunch. I used to get a cheese sandwich an tomato soup most days and soda.
But mostly, I just wanted to say that in honor of this thread, I just had some gluten-free Joe's Joe's (Oreo doesn't have a GF version) and they were spectacular. They were also probably more chemical-laden than regular Oreo's (the emulsifiers! Palm oil!)
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My kids had one Oreo for lunch for a couple weeks.. With a sandwich and fruit. That's just crazy.0
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My lunch in high-school consisted of a Long John or two for a snack in the cafeteria, and Pizza Pockets or a pot of Mac and Cheese for lunch. Unless I had an extra $5 on a Tuesday, then it was two footlong meatball subs at Subway. Inexplicably I was probably in the best shape of my life back then. All the damage from the processed food probably takes awhile to show up.
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I haven't seen that this was a rule? I thought the consensus was that it wasn't a rule. Is there an article that says it was a rule?
One article says the school doesn't tell parents what to feed their kids, but this child is there through a state run program bound by federal regulations. The school could say kids could eat horse for lunch, wouldn't change the rules for the ones who are there as overflow from the public program.
The first version of the article I saw, which I can't find now for the life of me, said that she had sent items on the "banned" list throughout the year and had never heard a word about it until now. She also felt the policy was confusing because the parents had been asked to send in things like candy for class parties.
Personally, the note isn't the issue to me. Sending someone a form note about a school policy is no big deal. The part that bothered me was taking away a portion of the child's lunch, replacement food or not. That seemed unnecessary and the adults could have easily communicated without involving the child. An adult doing something like that would've sent my kid into a tantrum.0
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