You don't have to explain your diet to everyone. Just take ownership.
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californiagirl2012 wrote: »One of the biggest mistakes people make in the beginning is feeling the need to explain their diet to everyone, or explain why they are not eating this or that in a social situation.
There is also the pressure from others, all the "food pushers" in our life. Just don't let them have ownership of what you put into your body. It's not their body, it's yours. You don't have to explain that to them, but you do have to DECIDE it is yours to own.
Take ownership for food intake. Never again give that ownership to friends and family. If you are at a party and there is cake, you can decide for yourself to have the cake or not. Own what you put in your body.
You don’t have to explain why you decide to not have cake. You don’t have to explain you are on a diet. Just simply say “No thank you” and OWN IT.
Cake is not bad. I don't believe in good food and bad food lists. However, there are times when we say no to stay on track. I always remind myself there is a NEXT TIME.
When I do have cake, I ALWAYS want more. Of course we want more we are human. Most of us can eat the whole dang thing. Every dang day. But, that won't get us to our fitness goals. And if you are already at your goal, it won't keep you there.
It's a lifestyle. Little choices every day. Nothing big and drastic or even very exciting in the day to day effort.
It's lovely to see you posting again! Look forward to more gems.
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seltzermint555 wrote: »
Yes, even at my peak of being obese I was strong as an OX, but now I'm stronger at an older age, and attracting a lot of attention which is a fun side benefit that I didn't have before.
Thank you.
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asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
I can't tell if you are being serious or not.
I think it's a matter of more women being concerned with hurting people's feelings. Not that men are out to hurt people's feelings. Just that fewer of them associate "no, I don't want cake" with personal rejection than do women. When I tell my sister "no, I don't want cake," she hears "I think your cake looks gross and would never eat it. In fact I can't believe you are eating it. Why would you eat that cake? Don't you know it's terrible for you? And by the way your roots are showing." So when I tell her no, I am more apt to try to explain a bit more. When I tell my husband "no, I don't want cake," he hears "Jemhh does not want cake. I can put the lid back on it without cutting her a piece."
This is true. I mean, if someone makes me a birthday cake, I'm eating it, because 1) it's my birthday 2) they thought enough of me on my special day. A lot of work goes into homemade cake, being a baker, I know!
If I'm chilling with my sister in law one day and she's like "hey I got some Oreos in there, help yourself" I probably won't. It doesn't mean I rub it in her face that I'm losing (side note, she's noticed my change, asked questions, and is working on it too, yay!), it doesn't mean I don't love her. I just don't have oreo calories!
If a coworker brings in a lasagna unannounced for lunch, I may or may not have it. Generally, no, because I prefer majority of my calories for dinner. I don't dislike her, and she's a darn good cook. This coworker has come around lately. The other day she asked "if I bring in a banana pudding, can you eat it that day?"0 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
I can't tell if you are being serious or not.
I think it's a matter of more women being concerned with hurting people's feelings. Not that men are out to hurt people's feelings. Just that fewer of them associate "no, I don't want cake" with personal rejection than do women. When I tell my sister "no, I don't want cake," she hears "I think your cake looks gross and would never eat it. In fact I can't believe you are eating it. Why would you eat that cake? Don't you know it's terrible for you? And by the way your roots are showing." So when I tell her no, I am more apt to try to explain a bit more. When I tell my husband "no, I don't want cake," he hears "Jemhh does not want cake. I can put the lid back on it without cutting her a piece."
This is true. I mean, if someone makes me a birthday cake, I'm eating it, because 1) it's my birthday 2) they thought enough of me on my special day. A lot of work goes into homemade cake, being a baker, I know!
If I'm chilling with my sister in law one day and she's like "hey I got some Oreos in there, help yourself" I probably won't. It doesn't mean I rub it in her face that I'm losing (side note, she's noticed my change, asked questions, and is working on it too, yay!), it doesn't mean I don't love her. I just don't have oreo calories!
If a coworker brings in a lasagna unannounced for lunch, I may or may not have it. Generally, no, because I prefer majority of my calories for dinner. I don't dislike her, and she's a darn good cook. This coworker has come around lately. The other day she asked "if I bring in a banana pudding, can you eat it that day?"
If someone makes me a birthday cake I'm sharing and eating all of it! Heck Yeah!!!0 -
You're dead right with this. People need to have the confidence to just say no and own that decision. I think a lot of the trouble starts when people try to justify their saying no - "I can't, I'm on a diet"-type responses. That's often taken as saying "I'd love to, but I shouldn't", and so the offeror tends to try to help the person justify the decision to have the food "aw, come on - one won't hurt!". A simple no is all it needs.0
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Love this. Best way to go about things.
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Let's take gender out of it because there are plenty of examples on both sides. But for some people / in some cultures, food is love, and turning down food that's been offered is considered rude.
In these circumstances (and generally you can predict them, if you are familiar with the culture) I will have a tokenistic amount. Half a slice of cake won't kill me, and no one will notice if I only take a bite and then leave the plate somewhere.
In these circumstances it can genuinely be rude to refuse the food. You have to take some. But you don't have to eat it all.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
Speak for yourself.
Oh because I MEANT that...right...0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »You're dead right with this. People need to have the confidence to just say no and own that decision. I think a lot of the trouble starts when people try to justify their saying no - "I can't, I'm on a diet"-type responses. That's often taken as saying "I'd love to, but I shouldn't", and so the offeror tends to try to help the person justify the decision to have the food "aw, come on - one won't hurt!". A simple no is all it needs.
So true! Sometimes I feel that people who say "no I can't I'm on a diet" are actually fishing for you to try to change their mind.
Example:
Me: we're going for a curry, do you want to come?
Dieter: sorry no I'm on a diet
Me: ok, well we could go to a different restaurant? Maybe a chain pub where they have the calories on the menu?
Dieter: no it's ok, I'll come for curry
me: *confused*
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What works best in those situations is to accept the food and either not eat it and leave it on the plate, or take a bite, or two while saying thank you this tastes wonderful. Generally they will stop pushing at that point. If they don't... well: it does depend on how polite I feel I need to be...Let's take gender out of it because there are plenty of examples on both sides. But for some people / in some cultures, food is love, and turning down food that's been offered is considered rude.
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azulvioleta6 wrote: »asflatasapancake wrote: »I'm still the only dude who has posted to this thread. Was this meant only for women?
I don't think so. I will say that, in general from what I have observed, more women than men seem to have more trouble saying "no" without more of an explanation than men do. (This is a generalization based on my own observation of the women around me.)
Men know what they want, women need someone to tell us.
Speak for yourself.
Oh because I MEANT that...right...
I don't know what you meant, but what you wrote sounded ridiculously sexist and just plain untrue.
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Wonderful OP. I think it's a good reminder to read the phrase "take ownership". I have found the food pushers tend not to be in shape or health conscious. I chalk it up to their own lack of control and having someone else eat cake with them validates their own choices. Being a Type 2 diabetic, sometimes all I have to say is, "No thanks, I'm a diabetic" and the pushing to eat cake stops.0
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