Resentment

999tigger

Nope no resentment towards other people its their choice what they eat and its my choice to exercise and diet to become healthier. I do think it was nice to eat without having to worry about calories and would love to wolf down tons of food, but that has consequences and I have different priorities now.

Have the thoughts by all means, but they dont get you anywhere except frustrated and distracted.

softblondechick

Sigh.

The other day I was eating out, looking at the menu of yummy delicious food. And wished I could just order what I wanted. No, I will have the grilled chicken and dinner salad.

What would life be like to have always been thin? I was a fat baby, weighed 11 pounds when I was born, always the biggest one. If I eat what I want, I can easily gain weight. Constant vigilance, just to maintain my current fatness.

sarahharas5

I understand what you're saying. I just sort of miss the days where I didn't have to think about every calorie. I know I can eat whatever I want and I do fit in things I love, but many times things will not be worth the calories to me. I want to be full and that might mean I can't eat a large order of french fries.

Just last night, I was at a wine dinner with my family. My sisters both ordered a deep-fried fish. I ordered a baked fish. I saved up calories for this dinner. But I couldn't justify a deep-fried fish when I would be drinking wine and having a dessert. I looked at their plates and had a moment of jealousy maybe. I was happy with my choices but to just not have to think about what does and doesn't fit in my calories would be nice. On the flip side, we are all trying to lose weight (me by calorie counting and them more by just "watching it.") I am the one consistently losing.
So there's that.

I don't think you're wrong, OP. I think we all have those days. Hopefully tomorrow will be an easier one for you!

Liftng4Lis

Sorry, but I focus on me and what I'm doing, not others, let alone what they're eating. It's definitely not something I'm going to call resentful to. Heck everyone is taller than me, am I supposed to be resentful at that as well?

kristen6350

It will take awhile for the resentment to go away. I have a rule of no "free" work food. But I see people eating donuts, and bagels and cake and wish (sometimes) that I could just throw caution to the wind and join in. But honestly, I like the way I feel not eating those things more than eating those things. Everyday I could just blow my calorie count and not care, but I do care and then I feel bad, I'm bloated and miserable. I have a very sedentary job and not a very active life outside of work, so I know if I go over my calories more than 1x week I'm gonna feel it in my jeans. And honestly, I like my size 6 jeans more than that piece of cake that I really didn't need.

Machka9

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

Annr wrote: »

@Machka9 I have talked with those people and their ice creams....they are probably calculating with every bite of their ice creams lol. It's really all a matter of what you are willing to give up. For me "the spontaneity of it all" is why I am in the situation I seem to be in... So being accountable seems more in control of the situation than pulling into a Dairy Queen on a whim...(my husband says there is something wrong with the cars steering..ha).

I never used to care how many calories were in the ice cream.

I think part of it for me is that it took me 4 years to put on 15 kg (33 lb). So it wasn't like I was packing on weight eating what I was eating before. That's 8.2 lb/year. Using the 3500 calories = 1 lb calculation, in a year, I consumed 28,700 calories more than I should ... 78 extra calories per day.

I'm glad you pointed this out because a lot of people don't realize that 8 pounds a year is only 78 calories a day. They think that people who gain weight are all out there binging and stuffing their faces. I don't think most people are. I think that, for most people, it's the one trade-off that you make...That one thing that you say yes or no to...that makes the difference. It shouldn't be hard to maintain weight, but you do have to be mindful and that's where the lack of spontaneity comes in. It's hard to be mindful and spontaneous at the same time.

And it is so easy, when you're not paying close attention, to have a second helping of this, or a small plate of that, or to stop for ice cream mid-way through a bicycle ride or whatever. Nothing big, no binging, just a little bit extra.

The thing is, that 8 lb didn't come on in a linear pattern ... just very gradual and slight weight gains and weight losses (but obviously more gains than losses), and for stretches of weeks or months within those 4 years, I would simply maintain my weight.

So part of me still thinks ... I was able to maintain my weight without having to think about every bite I eat, why do I have to go through all this hassle.

And part of me realises that I didn't really maintain my weight, I gained 15 kg, so I do need to pay attention and not do things like, for example, select the carrot cake (my favourite) when we go out to one of our favourite bakeries ... because now I know the carrot cake has about twice as many calories as the rest of the selections in the place.

TiffanyR71

I don't feel resentment... The beauty of counting calories is that you can have whatever you want… Just not in unlimited quantities. It's your choice whether or not certain foods are worth it to you or not. I have found that I don't even crave "non-nutritive" calories anymore, because I was the one who decided that I didn't want it anyway.

trying4real

Sometimes I get a little jealous of my co-workers that go out to eat every single day. Not because of the food tho.. because I am missing out on the "office politics". But then just smile when they talk about how they can't lose any weight or pay repeatedly to do the ridiculous advocare junk every other month.

SezxyStef

If I did it would have to be directed at myself.

I eat chicken tenders, ff, chips, quiznos, whistle dogs, Qtr pounders and poutine...

I fit it in.

You do you...let them do them.

TimothyFish

Machka9 wrote: »

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

Annr wrote: »

@Machka9 I have talked with those people and their ice creams....they are probably calculating with every bite of their ice creams lol. It's really all a matter of what you are willing to give up. For me "the spontaneity of it all" is why I am in the situation I seem to be in... So being accountable seems more in control of the situation than pulling into a Dairy Queen on a whim...(my husband says there is something wrong with the cars steering..ha).

I never used to care how many calories were in the ice cream.

I think part of it for me is that it took me 4 years to put on 15 kg (33 lb). So it wasn't like I was packing on weight eating what I was eating before. That's 8.2 lb/year. Using the 3500 calories = 1 lb calculation, in a year, I consumed 28,700 calories more than I should ... 78 extra calories per day.

I'm glad you pointed this out because a lot of people don't realize that 8 pounds a year is only 78 calories a day. They think that people who gain weight are all out there binging and stuffing their faces. I don't think most people are. I think that, for most people, it's the one trade-off that you make...That one thing that you say yes or no to...that makes the difference. It shouldn't be hard to maintain weight, but you do have to be mindful and that's where the lack of spontaneity comes in. It's hard to be mindful and spontaneous at the same time.

And it is so easy, when you're not paying close attention, to have a second helping of this, or a small plate of that, or to stop for ice cream mid-way through a bicycle ride or whatever. Nothing big, no binging, just a little bit extra.

The thing is, that 8 lb didn't come on in a linear pattern ... just very gradual and slight weight gains and weight losses (but obviously more gains than losses), and for stretches of weeks or months within those 4 years, I would simply maintain my weight.

So part of me still thinks ... I was able to maintain my weight without having to think about every bite I eat, why do I have to go through all this hassle.

And part of me realises that I didn't really maintain my weight, I gained 15 kg, so I do need to pay attention and not do things like, for example, select the carrot cake (my favourite) when we go out to one of our favourite bakeries ... because now I know the carrot cake has about twice as many calories as the rest of the selections in the place.

Perhaps next time, instead of waiting until you ate 15kg over to take action, take action when you reach 2kg over your ideal weight. You don't have to watch everything you eat, but you do need to watch the scale.

PeachyCarol

I do me, other people do them.

maillemaker

I feel pitty. Most people are eating themselves into a problem because they don't know any better. We don't have built-in calorie gauges. If you just eat what you want when you want you will probably eat a calorie surplus in our current food environment.

People generally don't start paying attention to what they are eating until they've already got a problem, and then it's often too late.

So I feel sorry for them. They are heading towards a cliff and don't know it.

SLLRunner

Annr wrote: »

So I want to lose the weight in my head, not just on my body.

This is the best statement.

My weight loss and maintenance definitely belong in the kitchen, but if I had not changed my relationship with myself and food, I don't think I would have been as successful as I have been thus far.

cindyangotti

thaoXLIV wrote: »

I hope this didn't come off the wrong way. Like I said, I know what I'm doing is in my best interest. I'm in the process of retraining my mind to just see food as sustenance, nothing more, nothing less.

I'm only human so sometimes I may relapse.

No you didn't come off the wrong way. I totally get what you mean. Most people have something they are dealing with that seems unfair compared to others. Our thing is food but there are worse things it could be. Much worse.

toriraeh

I feel jealousy all the time! It's a natural human emotion! I'm jealous that my husband can do 3 crunches and have a six pack while I've been slaving at the gym for 3 years and you can only see definition in my legs. I'm jealous that my husband and friends can go out to eat 3x a week and not gain a pound while if I did that, I'd probably gain 2 per week. And when they go out, they get what they want. I get either something low cal or eat half of something else. It can be very frustrating. And I'm also jealous of people who are like "just fit the cheesecake in if you want it so badly". Dude, I eat 1320 cals/day. One piece of cheesecake would be my entire day. Even half a slice would take the place of breakfast and lunch most days. I usually exercise for an hour and I still wouldn't burn enough to compensate for that mess. So no. Some things simply won't fit unless you'd only like to eat a slice of bread for the rest of the day, you know? Look, it is totally normal to feel jealous. But if you want to keep up with your goals, allow yourself a treat once in awhile. Maybe twice a month, I go out. I have a meal where I order a meal that I want and eat as much as I want of it. Then the next day, back on the wagon. I've so far lost 13lbs in 2 months that way. Works for me and helps curb the green eyed monster a bit.

Vcorz

Honestly, yes, you should focus on yourself, but those people will have to metabolize calories the same as you do...its their choice. Some of these thin people wont be thin for long....I've seen a lot of "naturally skinny" people gain weight at my current job.....

Machka9

TimothyFish wrote: »

Perhaps next time, instead of waiting until you ate 15kg over to take action, take action when you reach 2kg over your ideal weight. You don't have to watch everything you eat, but you do need to watch the scale.

I don't plan to panic over 2 kg.

I've done this before ... years go by and I very gradually gain weight, then I spend a few weeks taking it off. It's just a bit of a pain for a few weeks. No biggie.


But I get how thaoXLIV feels, and as I said before, for me, I think it's the lack of spontaneity. I'm not big on structure and schedules and planning and my usual attitude toward eating is the same way. For me, it's constraining to have to think about food while I'm on a mission to lose weight.

And little things like ... we had the "Biggest Morning Tea" event at the office this week. None of the food fit within my plan, so I dropped off my donation and left. But it would have been nice to stand around with everyone having a nibble of this and nibble of that like everyone else ... like I would have done if I weren't on this diet.

It's not a hugely overpowering feeling or anything ... it's just a hint of jealousy, I suppose.

Jruzer

I disagree with the philosophy that food is fuel and nothing else. Food is culture, comfort, art, love, and -- dare I say it -- even reward. And yes, it's fuel too.

I think I enjoy my food more now than I did when I was fat. I ate "whatever I wanted" then, but it was almost mechanical.

Now I make more conscious choices and enjoy my food more. I appreciate it.

crazyjerseygirl

I do sometimes, but then I think "what if this is within their limits, what if this is their cheat meal, what if this person busts their *kitten* at the gym after work every day and I never notice cause I'm there before work.

The grass is always greener for a reason, and I refuse to be jealous of people who I only know through one meal.

ElizabethKalmbach

crazyjerseygirl wrote: »

I refuse to be jealous of people who I only know through one meal.

This is awesome. Sometimes the people that are eating a double thick burger and chocolate cake are eating those things because they DO care and have just as many problems and struggles as you.

I have to pay attention to my calories in BOTH directions ALL THE TIME. I have one condition that causes weight loss and one that causes weight gain. If either gets out of balance, I need to notice right away and FIX the problem. Sometimes I am nauseated ALL THE TIME, so I don't eat, and then I realize that I've been behind for 1000 calories a day for a week, and ordering something calorie dense is the only way I can even talk myself into trying to catch up.

Sometimes I take my child out for dinner and then have veggies and hummus when I get home because I don't have enough calories left in my day.

You've seen a person for one meal - you don't know their struggles, or their eating plan. Food is many things to many people. Make it what YOU want and get what YOU need from it.