Tell me a joke! :D
FrenzTheCat
Posts: 60 Member
C'mon... Make me chuckle! Shot or one liners prefered. I'll start us off...
Kung po chicken from Oriental kitchen £5
vegetable chop suey £4 sweet and sour pork balls £4 oriental kitchen forgetting one of the containers..... Riceless.
Kung po chicken from Oriental kitchen £5
vegetable chop suey £4 sweet and sour pork balls £4 oriental kitchen forgetting one of the containers..... Riceless.
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2 men break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. Police put out an alert for 2 hardened criminals!
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A horse walks in a bar!
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ericafittrainer wrote: »2 men break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. Police put out an alert for 2 hardened criminals!
HA!
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My jokes are to much like the ones you get out of a cracker0
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A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough.2
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joanne882015 wrote: »My jokes are to much like the ones you get out of a cracker
Tell me Tell me!0 -
Why did the turkey cross the road??!!0
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Because he wasn't chicken lol (worst joke I know
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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!4
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Two termites walk into a bar and ask "Where is the bar tender?"2
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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!
Hahaha I'm so using that 1 again!1 -
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!3
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Ha!!0
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While robbing a bank, the robber's mask falls off and is seen by a bank employee. Fearing he'll get caught, he shoots and kills the employee. After putting his mask back on, he turns around and see's a husband and wife standing petrified with fear. "Did you see my face?" he asks the husband. "NO!!!" says the husband........................."but my wife did."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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joanne882015 wrote: »Because he wasn't chicken lol (worst joke I know )
Why did the premenstrual chicken cross the road?
BECAUSE IT *kitten* WANTED TO!1 -
A brunette, redhead and blonde all walk into a bar. The bartender is new. The brunette approaches the bartender and says "WW please." The bartender confesses that he's new and has no idea what that means. "White wine" says the brunette. Then the redhead approaches and asks for an "RW". "Red wine right?" says the bartender and the redhead nods. The blonde then asks for a "15". Dumbstruck the bartender asks, " I have no idea what that is." The blonde responds " That's a 7 and 7 silly!".
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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joanne882015 wrote: »Because he wasn't chicken lol (worst joke I know )
Why did the premenstrual chicken cross the road?
BECAUSE IT *kitten* WANTED TO!
Damn right lol 0 -
A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his *kitten* doesn't get hard?"0
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All these jokes about sex and pornography. I remember when I was young if I wanted to jerk it I had to steal my mothers sears catalog and take into into the woods so I could look at the swimsuit and lingerie portions, but now with the use of the internet... I can just go to sears.com0
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.2
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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but *kitten*.0
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Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?.....
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
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Q:What kind of bees make milk?
A:Boobies.0 -
hahahaha! keep em coming!!0
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...Said the actress to the bishop
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Terrible
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"0 -
Q: Why do they call it PMS? ...
A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
lol I'm so glad I suffer with neither
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